Song made up a small pack of food while Riku and Katara sat drinking tea. Being partially blind, the woman kept a hand on the counters that ran around the kitchen. If she had been burned only when the Fire Nation took Omashu, then her injury was less than ten years old. Still, Song moved confidently in her box, her feet taking small, sliding steps.
When Hu returned, they all packed up in the worn cart hitched to the two ostrich mounts. Standing in their doorway, Song and Hu waved as they pulled away.
Haoran and Jiro sat on the driving board, while Riku and Katara tucked in among their things in the cart. Riku was quiet and Katara leaned against a bag of feed, reminiscent of her sleeping on rice on Captain Thuy's ship. She wasted so much time just traveling to places.
"Will we be quick enough?" Katara asked.
Stuff into a corner of the cart, Riku pushed her fingers into her hairline.
"I think so." She replied.
"Are you okay?" Katara questioned gently.
Riku opened her other hand and stared at it as she turned it back and forth.
"I wasn't a good person, before. Did I," Riku paused, her palm up. "Hurt people?"
Sighing, Katara pressed her face into the burlap sack of feed. The kernels rolled uncomfortably against her cheek.
"Yes." She finally answered. "You hurt people."
"People like Song?" Riku asked.
Chang's face swam up in Katara's memory and she closed her eyes.
This time Katara didn't answer, but she did lay out her arm. From the other side of the bag, Riku took her hand, holding it lightly. Katara listened as Riku shifted to take up a spot on the other side of the bag, pushing Katara up a bit. Squeezing Riku's hand, Katara opened her eyes and looked out over the side of the cart.
The beige rock turned yellow in the distance; this was the outer edges of the prairie land. Somewhere, dozens of miles further inland, Ankhnyam might have her herd of rhino yaks and her husband with the bad leg.
"Remember Ankhnyam?" Katara asked.
"The lady with the weird accent on the ship?" Riku replied.
"Do you think she went home?"
"It hasn't been that long."
"Hmm." Katara kept looking out, wincing when her head hit the bag after the cart rolled over an especially large rock.
"We shouldn't have stopped at the farm." Riku stated.
"Why's that?" Katara asked.
"They're going to tell people they saw us." Riku said.
"No, I don't think they will."
"How can you possibly be so sure?"
"They're kind people."
"People with burned faces are rarely kind." Riku muttered.
A breeze passed over them, bringing the smell of dirt and dry grass. During the war, they had spent so much time in the Earth Kingdom and it always smelled a bit like that; even in Ba Sing Se the rock buildings baked in the midday sun. Flying above it, the air would swirl first among the plains before swooping up to the sky. It's what gave the clouds enough grit to form.
When they got to Omashu a second time, they could smell the ash. It had never stopped them though, even as they let out the last of the kingdom's citizens. They had to go somewhere. But she only focused on the kingdom, on Bumi, and fighting the Fire Nation.
Song may have been laying in her sickbed, dying under a bandaged face, and Katara had never known.
There was a price to war. Zuko had tried to tell them that over and over, but she had never understood. There was never any reason to, after the fact, when they were the heroic winners and everyone rejoiced when they came around.
There was never any reason to look at the burned out buildings or the maimed.
Zuko had talked about a few things; the refugees of the ship when he sailed to Ba Sing Se. Or the girl he met there. Or another time, when he was alone, and he saw the hatred of soldiers that would wipe away any trace of friendship.
Katara never had to pay that price.
Touching her neck, she wondered what this meant. What was this new cost, and what did it portend? Something was building and it was a costly beast.
In the prairie, a breeze blew chaff over the hot earth. A spirit lay bleeding on the rock of the palace in Omashu. And under the thin skin of her palm, Katara felt the warmth of Riku's hand.
Their travel labored slowly but at least they weren't on foot. They would take breaks to feed and water the ostrich horses, but not for much else. That night, Riku burned small sticks and grass while they passed around Song's pack.
Haoran and Jiro stuck together, conferring together as they looked over Bess and Meg. Normally suspicious, Riku was listless and poked at her fire. Waving and cupping her hands around it, the small fire followed her like an adoring pet.
Katara tucked in near her, offering her a bowl of rice. They ate in silence; while Katara watched the brothers nap, Riku stared off into the distance.
"I've hurt people too you know." Katara said suddenly.
"The people trying to kill us don't count." Riku replied.
"They do though. The reason we have war is because people think the way you do. That there's some sort of criteria that makes it okay to hurt someone." Katara said.
"But that's a fairy tale, this is real life. People are going to come for you and you have to protect yourself." Riku argued.
Katara shook her head. "It wasn't right what I did."
"Well I'm certainly glad you did it. I enjoy being alive." Riku picked up a generous bite of rice with her chopsticks and pushed it into her mouth.
Looking down at her hands, Katara wondered if the shadows hid a tinge of purple.
"I hurt you, Riku." She said.
Riku held her chopsticks in the air as she stopped chewing. After a moment, she swallowed and put down her bowl. Laying the chopsticks neatly on top, Riku brushed invisible rice grains from her lap.
"Was I trying to kill you?" She asked while plucking at the fabric of her pants.
Katara didn't answer.
"When we get to the palace, the princess is most certainly going to try to kill you." Riku said. "You are going to have to fight her and your bloodbending is the best way to do so."
"No, I'm never doing that again." Katara said.
"Be reasonable."
"You don't get to tell me that." Katara snapped.
Riku turned, her head tilted, and regarded Katara.
"I truly must have been monstrous for you to hate me this much." She said.
Shocked, Katara leaned away.
"I don't hate you-" She started and Riku, looking bored, stared at her.
"Let's get some sleep." Riku said and got up, dusting off the back of her pants before walking to the cart.
As Katara pulled out a bedroll - some had magically appeared when Hu helped load up their things - she paused to look back out over the prairie. As the sun set, the retreating light looked like a healing bruise against the oncoming night. Clouds streaked across the shrinking pocket and the rest of the sky was open and empty.
Riku built up the fire for the night, but they all created spaces in the cart to sleep. The fire would keep back any unwanted animals while the cart lifted them from the cold ground. Once again twisted among sackcloth and nearer to Riku, Katara rolled onto her back and saw stars instead of the metal ceiling of a ship.
The stars came out slowly as the sun set, until they finally exploded in the total darkness. They looked like snow that had been kicked across a freshly dyed tunic. The soft white nonetheless crisp against the blue that was so wet, it looked purple.
The desert prairie sky expanded for miles in every direction, but especially up. Katara didn't know how there was enough air in the world to fill the space between her and the top of the sky.
For the first time in a long time, she thought about Hira'a. She didn't have to worry about taking a shift; Azula was comfortably restrained within Riku. But this was another journey, searching for someone that was lost, and Riku was yearning for something she didn't understand.
Lifting her hands up over her face, Katara slowly turned them back and forth. She couldn't think like Azula; there were some lines she should never cross. Yet after everything she had been through, Katara had yet to actually win. Chang had died, plenty of people nearly died in the South Pole, and for the past season, she had been on the run with her pursuers just at her heels. Katara didn't even know if she was capable of doing what she had to, and there wasn't anywhere else she could run to now.
Lowering her hands with a sigh, Katara kept looking up at the sky. Just like the arid land they travelled through, the sky was one unending, unchanging blanket. They would get to the next town sometime in the afternoon, and then move on. That was if the assassins didn't catch up to them, or Xia Bau popping up unexpectedly.
And their best weapon she had left to die in Omashu. Katara flipped onto her side and stared intently at the rough boards of the cart. Maybe she had convinced herself that Aivilayoq couldn't die, but Katara had never seen a spirit inside of a person before. And even if Aivilayoq was with them, it only made her the actor for what Katara said she wouldn't do.
Am I just expecting others to do what I know I should be doing? Katara asked herself. The sadness was tight in her stomach, making her pull her knees up and sniffle. For as crazy as she was, at least Azula never delegated her dirty work in order to keep her hands clean.
From the very beginning, Katara had wanted someone else to do what she was scared of. She wanted Zuko to abandon his sister, she wanted Aang to disappear, and she wanted Amaqjuaq to stay quietly in his place in the North Pole. Well, she had gotten what she wanted, and now there was no one to help her.
No one except for the tortured princess who had tried to kill her, tried to kill people that Katara loved.
Still sniffling, Katara rubbed her eyes angrily. Hama had started all of this. Of course Katara had been happy to see other Waterbenders, but Hama had been the only other Bender from the South Pole. She had understood what Katara had gone through, what she had grown up in.
Hama had fought to keep that, and Katara had condemned her. Even when Hama had never returned home, believing that she had tainted something. And Katara could never swallow the duality of Hama's choices. She had abandoned an elder to keep her own vision of things safe.
And it was only then that Katara remembered the Southern Air Temple.
Aang explained after a particularly bad nightmare, in horrifying detail, what he had seen. The position of the skeletons explained what had happened: Gyatso, against the tenet of non-violence, had removed all of the air in the room. He and every single Fire Nation soldier suffocated to death.
Hama had escaped imprisonment and, like a creature hunting the ice fields, taken her revenge on every full moon.
Katara could abide one, but not the other.
Staring at her hands once again, Katara thought about the stains she carried. Like the spirit poison, it was carried inside of her.
There had to be things worth holding onto. She was the most accomplished Waterbender of her age. A master, she could best experienced Benders in any discipline or element. Katara just had to find another way.
Shifting her weight and feeling the sharp pressure against her shoulder from the stiff boards under her, Katara shut her eyes.
Something wet hit her cheek and Katara's eyes snapped back open. Dawn was milky as the sunlight filtered through thin clouds. Sitting up, Katara felt weak and disoriented. More wet drops hit her and she heard grumbles start from around her.
"Want to help out with that Waterbender?" Riku muttered.
"Right, sure." Katara said and swung her arms up. The light rain turned into a mist as it neared the cart, but still fell on the occupants.
"Is that the best you can do?" Riku asked, sitting up and rubbing her hair to disperse the rain.
Frowning, Katara sat up and tried again. Moving her hand in a small circle around her head, the rain hit her barrier but slid off, falling instead on her shoulder in denser blobs.
"Oh nevermind." Riku sighed and shook out her bedroll before folding the thin mattress over her head.
"We'll dry them when the sun comes out." Haoran said. Jiro sat up with a jaw cracking yawn and they all rushed around to get the cart moving. Riku used her bending to get rid of the fire while Jiro sleepily wiped away the traces. Haoran hitched the ostriches and Jiro did the same to their own traces.
"Either of you want to sit up front?" Jiro asked as Haoran climbed onto the driving board.
"No thanks." Katara said and settled back, pulling her bedroll over herself.
"No." Riku replied and Jiro shrugged before stepping up.
"Suit yourself." He said and Haoran snapped the reins.
Katara looked over at Riku but her face was obscured by the bedroll. Unsure of what to say, Katara rested her arm on the side of the cart and looked out.
The rain clouds were massive piles of fluff over the prairie. She could see the dark column of rain and wondered again just how big everything had to be to make a rainstorm look so small.
The breeze from yesterday was stronger now, but instead of carrying the scent of rain, it just smelled like mud and wet feathers. Holding out a hand, Katara let the rain pool in her palm. Then, similar to how Riku stroked the fire, Katara attempted to shape it.
For a moment, the disc of rainwater hung in the air. It wasn't a perfect shape and Katara had to focus on keeping it with her despite the movement of the cart. But as she tried to freeze it, the disc broke and the water fell away from her control.
"You haven't used your bending in awhile." Riku said suddenly.
Katara turned, but Riku was still hidden under the bedroll.
"What do you mean?" She asked.
"I mean you suck because you haven't been bending. Same as if you're bedridden with an illness. It takes a while to build up the muscle." Riku explained.
"I don't think it works like that." Katara replied, annoyed.
"No? Then tell me why I had to go back to bending practice when I hear my mother talk about how amazing I used to be." Riku shot back.
Forcing her mouth closed, Katara crossed her arms on the side of the cart and rested her chin on them.
"Losing your memory of your bending isn't the same as getting sick." She finally said.
"You have a better idea, Miss Know-it-all?" Riku question.
When Katara didn't reply, Riku continued. "Waterbenders are so fussy. You put them somewhere landlocked in a drought and they're practically useless. And that's probably why you all never leave your tribes."
Rolling her eyes, Katara turned her face away and watched the prairie.
"Of course Firebenders never have that problem." Riku added.
"Not unless you put them in a block of ice." Katara muttered.
It took her a moment to realize there was something off about the silence. Pushing the bedroll off her head, Katara looked over at Riku. Having also removed the bedroll, Riku was now staring off into space.
"What you did to Kanda, you've done that before." Riku said dreamily. Then she turned and met Katara's eye. "Haven't you?"
Katara remembered vividly as Azula's lightning pierced Zuko's abdomen like a lance. But it had been alive, snapping in jagged angles as it raced toward him. And then Azula had kept her away from him, kept her from healing him.
Azula was going to let her brother die and make Katara watch helplessly.
But her keening, after the ice melted, that sound stayed with Katara for a long time. Azula's soul rending grief had ripped through Katara and Zuko both, but they stood together. The relief of it all made them strong.
"Yes." Katara answered.
Riku contemplated this, frowning and again staring off as she saw things only in her memory. A memory that was filled with holes and containing no narrative. Ozai had been excised completely, and it left a lot of empty space.
But Ozai hadn't called for that Agni Kai.
"How well did we know each other, before?" Riku asked.
"Not well." Katara admitted. "Not well enough to understand each other."
"So what lies between us was only a misunderstanding?" Riku questioned with a laugh. Katara sighed and Riku shook her head.
"I know enough about the end of the war to know who you are Katara. And if I was so close to the royal family as to warrant all of this, then I can't imagine it was all just a cultural misunderstanding." Riku continued.
"It's probably because the Fire Nation tried to kill everyone on the face of the earth." Jiro spoke up from the driving board.
"Finally, some honesty." Riku said, throwing her arms up before reclining against the side of the cart.
"It looks like that last town was hit hard in the war. Hu didn't say much, but I could tell." Haoran said.
"I mean, we all saw his wife." Jiro said.
They were all quiet for a moment.
"I bet it was nice staying safe within your walls at Ba Sing Se." Riku said.
The air charged immediately and Katara shrank back from it. She watched the backs of the brothers and saw the matched, straight line of their shoulders. They made a wall of their own sitting side by side.
"Our father died in the siege." Haoran stated dryly.
"And the princess breached the walls at the end. She and her," Jiro cut himself off with frustrated restraint. "She nearly killed the Avatar."
"You were there, weren't you Katara?" Haoran asked.
Katara looked at Riku, who held herself perfectly still in her relaxed position.
"I was. I," She struggled over the words. "Was thrown into the catacombs with the Fire Lord."
Haoran heaved out a heavy sigh and some of the tension dissipated.
"It was hard to stay angry when I found out what happened. Iroh told us about the royal family and what his brother did to his kids." He said.
Jiro now sighed as well, slumping forward.
"I'm surprised Zuko is as nice as he is, to be honest. A shame about his sister." He admitted.
"Hey Katara, did Rin ever tell you what happened when we all met Zuko for the first time?" Haoran asked, turning to look briefly over his shoulder.
Turning her face away from Riku, Katara knelt and shook her head.
"Chang told me a little bit." She said.
"Oh, Chang!" Jiro said, sitting up as he slapped his leg. "Spirits she was a fun woman."
"Zuko did not know how to handle all of us." Haoran said and chuckled.
"I haven't even been in the same room as all four of you, but it must've been a lot." Katara remarked.
"Four? Oh no, you didn't meet our older brother. There are five of us." Haoran said.
"Five?" Katara exclaimed in shock.
"Rin is the oldest, then it's Guo, me, Wang Lei, and baby Jiro." Haoran explained.
"Five of you? In that tiny tea shop?" Katara sputtered and started to laugh.
"No one could understand how mom and dad were so small yet every single one of their kids were huge." Jiro said.
"And I thought it was bad sharing a room with my little sister." Riku murmured.
Surprised, Katara turned sharply to look at her. Seeing Katara staring, Riku looked away with a faint blush.
"No wonder you're so grumpy. Older sisters are just like that." Haoran remarked. Jiro snorted but Riku frowned.
"I'm not, I'm…" She drifted and shook her head. "I mean, I'm adopted."
"Doesn't really matter if you're toes to nose in a bed." Haoran said. "Family is family once you get used to the smell of their feet."
"Are you older or younger Katara? Rin mentioned you have a brother." Jiro asked.
"Younger. Though growing up, Sokka certainly treated me like I was older." Katara answered, unamused.
"I hope Rin is okay." Haoran said suddenly.
Katara looked down and her shoulders fell.
"I don't know why she stayed in the palace. No one said she had to." Jiro said. "Mom loves Zinna."
"She stayed for Zuko." Katara said, grabbing at her pants. "Everyone else had left him, even Iroh."
Even me. She thought.
"Those two have the same kind of hurt." Haoran said in agreement.
"Except the Fire Lord can't recognize someone else's hurt even if it's happening right in front of him." Riku said derisively.
"What? Are we thinking of the same guy?" Haoran asked with an awkward laugh.
"Is there someone else walking around, proudly displaying his badge of dishonor?" Riku questioned. Sitting up she lifted her hand to her face but froze, her palm hovering in front of her left eye.
"Riku?" Katara asked softly. Shifting forward, Katara put a hand on the floor between them. "Riku?"
"I wanted to watch him burn." Riku whispered. "No one ever saw when he burned me."
Tears fell down Riku's face and she started to tremble.
"No one ever saw him burn me." She continued to whisper.
"Is she okay?" Jiro asked.
As Riku crumpled in on herself, Katara shuffled over quickly and held her.
"How close are we to the next town?" She asked, looking over Riku's head at Jiro.
"Should be a couple of hours." He replied uneasily, his eyes darting over to Riku.
"Let's just focus on getting there." Katara said.
Jiro turned to face forward and Katara moved so that she was back against the side. Pulling Riku around, Katara wrapped her arms around her. Slowly rubbing Riku's arm, Katara waited for the sobs.
But Riku stayed silent. She didn't move, didn't speak, and her breathing was even. While Katara's lower back tightened uncomfortably, Riku still didn't so much as twitch.
Laying her head back, Katara could only make out some of the prairie in the bottom of her vision. The storm had passed them by and everything here was dry as brick. It was starting to heat up and the breeze smelled once again like dry dirt and hot rock. The wheels creaked and rattled over the small rocks. Had it not been for that brief glimpse of the night, Katara would have thought she was still living in yesterday. Life was just a wheel travelling over the same road until the end.
The wheel turned and Katara would be up. She would feel confident and assured. Riku would be lucid and just a little mean. And then the wheel would continue to roll. Katara would fall into doubt and Riku's sanity would dissolve. Everything had smelled like dirt for so long; either when it was clinging to them or simply made up every place they went. It was all exposed rock, with nowhere to rest and nothing to break up the monotony. Dust, metal, mud, rock, and dirt. She hadn't been comfortable since she left the South Pole for Republic City.
Perhaps the wheel would take them all the way to the palace. And then they would roll right back out. Over and over until a rock or a crystal shattered their axle.
She had been running for so long. Now, she was just tired.
Against her chest, Katara could feel Riku's heartbeat. Steady and strong.