Aside from class Hermione hadn't seen Bellatrix since the night she had come to the common room. She had seen enough of McLaggen to last a life time though. He was showing up everywhere. The library, the owlery, if she went to the Quidditch Pitch he was there, it was annoying and his pestering was driving her insane. She was forgetting why she hadn't just hexed the hell out of him and moved on already.
She had been blunt with him, he didn't seem to care. She wondered what kind of egotistical idiot didn't seem to understand when he was being rejected. Far as she knew he wasn't even that popular, so it wasn't like girls never told him no.
She wrote to Viktor about it. Wondering how he got rid of crazy stalker fans. He had expressed a great deal of concern and let her know he had people who did that for him but he was by no means a slouch when it came to dueling. Being able to hex someone was apparently a lot easier when you were a famous Quidditch player. He had wanted to meet with her, they may have had a disastrous date but they were still friends. He thought if the boy could see them together maybe he would believe the old rumors that Viktor was still hung up on Hermione. That he was trying to convince her to come back to him. It may be enough to intimidate Cormac. After all who wouldn't be intimidated by Viktor Krum?
It was a shame she didn't want to start those rumors up again. The mail she had received after that date had been a nightmare and it was even worse when Viktor took his break from Quidditch. She wouldn't go through that mess again, it would be like leaving the frying pan covered in grease just to jump into the fire.
She made her way down to the lake shore, the only place McLaggen hadn't seemed to trace her back to, it helped that she had found a more secluded spot, although it was a little too close to the forest for her taste after what had happened. Still to get away from his mindless pestering she was willing to chance it. She didn't think whatever had attacked her and Bellatrix would risk coming so blatantly onto school grounds and she wasn't actually all that far from Hagrid's hut if an emergency did arise.
She sat down heavily, dropping her bag and books beside her, completely unmindful of the wet sand as she scratched idle patterns with her fingers beside her legs.
She enjoyed the quiet. Enjoyed staring out at the black lake watching ripples disturb it's peaceful surface. Normally she was able to forget her problems, if only for a few minutes, the respite was welcome and much needed. Tonight she just couldn't quiet the fears in her mind. She knew it was because vacation was so fast approaching and she was no where near ready to return home to Peter. She missed Sterling vastly but she could have gone her entire life with never laying eyes on her step father again.
She sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. She was tired. She had nightmares since reading the letter Peter had sent, not that he let her go to the Weasleys' or the Potter's very often but the fact that he had expressly forbid her from asking didn't bode well. She was reliving a lot of his abuse toward her the past few weeks. Waking up with quiet screams lodged in her throat after only a few hours of sleep. It had taken a lot of work to keep Ginny and the others from noticing just how tired she was, how jumpy she was. Glamours were becoming her best friend, spells she had learned ages ago to cover up bruises after vacations worked just as well on bags under her eyes. It was just a shame it only covered up, she could have done with a pick me up lately. She wished she had an excuse to ask Pomfrey for a pepperup potion.
"Deep thinking, Gryffindor?"
She jumped, letting out a completely undignified squeak that left an amused smirk on the dark teacher's face. She hadn't heard anyone approach or she would have taken off back toward the school. She came out there to avoid people not engage in conversation or get herself detentions.
"I-I just needed to get away from….everyone." Bellatrix raised an eyebrow at her and sat down gracefully beside her before the girl could jump up and run off.
Dark eyes glanced toward the forest and a frown settled heavily on her immaculate face. "I thought I told you to stay away from the forest. This is awfully close, Granger." She glanced down at the brunette disapprovingly but managed to keep her tone even and devoid of the worry she actually felt. Part of her was afraid for herself, it had been a rather traumatic experience.
"I'm not in the forest and Hagrid is inside," Hermione nodded off toward the hut just a little ways away. If she couldn't have run she could have made enough noise to alert the giant. They both knew he would face down anything for his students, especially for Hermione, Harry and Ron. "I don't feel uneasy either."
Bellatrix hummed, she didn't feel the presence either but that didn't mean it wasn't there. It had wanted them both and she wasn't about to let it get Hermione. She wasn't leaving the girl until she went back inside, she didn't much care if Hermione didn't want her company.
"I still don't want you coming out here. Not alone." Coffee colored eyes glanced toward her sharply. Bellatrix could tell Hermione was annoyed, she was the only student who had been told to steer clear of the forest, a place she had frequented since her first year with no problem.
"No one told the others to stay out of the forest. They are in just as much-"
"I don't c-" Bellatrix stopped, sucked in a deep breath. She nearly said she didn't care about her other students, she did care, but Hermione's safety came above the others and for the moment keeping the others in the dark about the danger was the safest thing they could do for them. "I told you. You know what happened, how serious it was. For once, Hermione do as I ask or I'll give you detention every night for the rest of the year if I have to."
Hermione sighed sharply, she didn't doubt the woman. Black would without a shadow of a doubt give her detention for the year. And she knew she was being slightly childish, she knew why she was the only student who knew about the danger lurking in the forest. "I won't go in the forest. I just….I need somewhere where I can be alone. Where I don't have to deal with anyone bothering me and trying to pressure me into dating or making jokes about my life. I…." She left off, not wanting to share too much with the one teacher who could barely tolerate her. Somehow she doubted Bellatrix would be sympathetic to all her romantic troubles.
"You should try somewhere not as close to the forest." Bellatrix pressed, keeping a tight reign on her temper at the mention of Hermione dating. It reminded her of McLaggen and the way Weasley was always staring at her when the girl wasn't looking.
"I can't find anywhere else! McLaggen is following me everywhere," Hermione groaned, mostly to herself. "I have tried the owlery, the clock tower, the library even the pitch and Cormac still manages to find me. I swear I'm going to hex him if he asks me one more time about going to his house for winter break." She didn't notice Black's hands tightening into fists or her clenched jaw. "I should really just let Viktor come and jinx him."
"As exciting as your love life is," Bellatrix growled barely able to restrain the jealousy she felt burning a hole in her stomach at the mention of yet another rival, this one perhaps not so unwelcome it seemed, "its not reason enough to be so near the forest."
Hermione glared at her, no one seemed to understand just how much the idiot was bothering her, no one except Krum, but she supposed that was her fault. She hadn't really explained to anyone but Viktor and she admitted to herself she only told him because he wasn't around, he couldn't cause any drama so far away, couldn't cause any problems that could potentially make it back to Peter. She was becoming quickly aware just how much hearing about Cormac pissed Peter off.
"I'm not changing my mind. Maybe a night of detention will remind you I don't make idle threats." Bellatrix matched her glare but her jaw was still clenched in anger.
Hermione turned away, angry that she had somehow stepped right into another detention with so few days left before the break, as if she didn't already have enough to stress over.
"Fine." She made move to stand, intent on getting away from the dark haired witch but a hand reached out and grabbed her arm, pulling her down, bent at the waist, to stare at dark eyes.
"Keep away from the forest, I'm more than serious about this. No more treks, even out to Hagrid's cabin, without friends or boyfriends." She spit the word out as if it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Hermione pulled away sharply, needing the space as her mind was filled with the kiss that hadn't actually happened. She desperately needed to get a handle on her attraction to the infuriating woman. "I will, I can't afford any more detentions." She made to head back to the castle but suddenly stopped and turned, her hard gaze softening with worry as she glanced from the woman to the forest and back. Her teeth nibbled at her bottom lip as her eyes danced around warily. "C-come with me. Back to the castle."
For a moment she thought Bellatrix wouldn't comply, would be stubborn and send her back alone left to worry about her. But after a few tense seconds that seemed to last forever the teacher climbed to her feet. "Alright."
Hermione let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding. Somehow finding courage enough to say her next words to a woman she believed disliked her. "If I can't be near the forest neither can you. That…that creature had been after both of us but I think I was an after thought, it wanted you, it named you. I...you can't…" She wrapped her arms around her stomach and rocked slightly on the balls of her feet as she fought off the panic clawing at her mind at the thought of Bellatrix being hurt, possibly killed.
Warm hands startled her as Black reached out and pulled her close. "Breath. Feel the rise and fall of my chest and breath, Granger." Hermione did as she told her. Her hands leaving her stomach to grasp the witch's robes. The hazy panic faded after a few steadying breaths, feeling the witch alive and breathing beneath her hands helped.
"I'm okay." She muttered against her chest after a few minutes. She leaned back, unwilling to release her grasp on the teacher and grateful Black hadn't yet pushed her away. "Promise me you won't go into the forest alone either." She didn't give any reason for the demand, there wasn't anything she could say. Her heart stuttered in her chest as she waited for Bellatrix's response.
"If you don't I won't." Black said after a few minutes of intense staring. Her arms flexed against Hermione's back, pulling her closer for just a second before she pushed the girl back and away from her carefully. "We should return to the castle before it gets too dark."
~H~
The weeks had passed too quickly. Before she could even process it she was packing her bags and getting ready to board the train headed home for the holidays. She knew it had come so quickly because she was dreading it. She hadn't even told Harry and Ron that she wouldn't be joining their Christmas party this year, that there was no point owling her about it. She should have, she knew it would irk Peter to have owls swooping in but she needed that small bit to remind her she had friends and he didn't have complete control over her. Not yet anyways.
Her eyes landed on the small journal Bellatrix had given her so many months ago. She had yet to even open it's pages and start on the essay. It wasn't like her to put things off but something about the book seemed….life changing. Every time she reached for it she felt as if her life was going to change, as if perhaps every small bit of control she had worked so hard for would spiral out of reach. It was foreboding.
She reached out and stroked the front. The elegant script of a name long wore off, only the indent where the quill had roughly sketched the name was left. She ran her finger along it, trying to make out a name.
She sighed heavily, her efforts in vain, and tossed the book into her bag on top of her clothes.
She zipped her small bag up and slung it over her shoulder just as Ginny came into the dorm room in a rush. "I haven't packed at all!" Hermione cringed for her, they only had twenty minutes before they were due at the train station and it was at least a five minute ride. Ginny always packed a lot, it typically took her forever to decide what to bring home for the break.
"I've just finished. I'll meet you downstairs with the boys in ten?" Ginny nodded hurriedly as she rushed about. Hermione would have offered to help but Ginny was so particular she knew she would have refused.
Harry and Ron it seemed had packed, both boys had a small bag resting at their feet while they played a quick game of chess while they waited for the girls to finish up.
Ron glanced up at Hermione and smiled brightly, "Ready?" She nodded, setting her bag beside theirs and taking a seat next to Harry. "Mom said she has Sterling loads of presents if you want to bring her to the party this year. Dad said he could pick you guys up in the car if you want. He's been itching for an excuse to drive it." He chuckled lightly but she could see the hope blazing in his eyes. She wanted to go she really did but she knew she wasn't going to make it.
"I'll have to see what my step dad has planned but if he says it's okay that sounds good." She flinched when his smile widened. She should have told him the truth she knew, but she didn't want to answer all the questions and she didn't want to lie. She didn't want them worrying or trying to come set her free from a magical hating tyrant, something she was sure they were bound to try if she ever confided in them.
She watched them finish up their game just as Ginny came flying down the stairs, red faced and huffing, her bag nearly brimming with everything she was taking home for the holidays.
"Really Gin?" Ron grumbled at his sister as he tossed his board and pieces into his own duffle. "It's only two weeks."
"It's a girl thing Ronald." She fumed at him. His eyes went pointedly down toward the other three bags, mainly towards Hermione's. Ginny ignored it and Harry only chuckled slightly before taking his girlfriend's luggage out of her hands. He slung both his and her bags up over each shoulder and jerked his chin toward the portrait.
"
"We should go, I don't fancy having to trek into Hogsmeade to apparate, I think mum and dad will kill us if we try to do it from so far away."
Hermione agreed. They had passed their test but she still worried about them doing side along and she had forced them both to keep a small vial of dittany on hand at all times if they planned to be travelling that way. Thankfully they had both agreed, if only to keep her from nagging.
"Shame we can't though, we could shop a little before having to be home." Ginny told Hermione wistfully.
"Maybe, one day when they have more practice."
Ron grinned back at them as they boarded the stairs, his hand reaching out to grasp the rail in front of Hermione in case she stumbled, it was a completely involuntary reflex on his part but she found herself frowning over it all the same.
"We'll be out of school by then, we can come pick you two up and do whatever, it'll be awesome." Ginny snorted at her brother's enthusiasm.
"Long distances are supposed to be harder. They take more concentration." Ron waved her concerns off. His optimism irked her nerves a bit and she knew she was being a little unfair. She was worried about going home, not some distant argument about letting her friend apparate her to go shopping. She took a deep breath and settled herself.
They walked the rest of the way in idle chatter. Ginny and Ron carried on about their parents Christmas party and Harry gushed about presents he had ordered for his baby brother. For the most part Hermione remained silent. She answered questions and put in enough effort to the conversation so the other teens didn't notice her lack of attention.
She couldn't help it, with each footstep away from the castle she felt as if something were crushing her chest. As if her magic were clawing at her skin. It was taking most of her concentration not to hyperventilate right there. She knew it had to be because she was going home to him once again. That had to be why her magic felt so out of control. But she had gone home every Holliday for three years at least. She had never felt so suffocated, so unhinged, as she did now. Everything felt muffled, like she was wading through something thick and heavy. Something trying to keep her from leaving.
"Hey, Hermione?" Ron reached out and grasped her shoulder effectively pulling her from the feeling. He nodded toward the carriage where the others were gazing down at her with a mix of curiosity and concern.
"Sorry, I was thinking about all the homework I'm going to have to do over the break." Ginny groaned as they all settled back down, making room for her to clamor up with Ron following close behind.
"Did you have to remind me. I've still got two essays to do and I don't want to even think about those until after Christmas."
Hermione smiled softly, grateful they believed her distraction was as simple as that. She glanced over Harry's shoulder back at the castle. She was going to miss it. Two weeks were going to drag by.
~B~
Bellatrix paced around the school like a caged leopard. She had watched the last carriage leave the school grounds heading into Hogsmeade. She had watched Hermione covertly until she got to the pickup and had nearly lost control of herself. Had nearly said damn it all and went after her, to do what she didn't know. Drag her back? Beg her to stay?
The thought of being without her for two weeks was unsettling. A heavy weight that seemed to settle across her chest and refused to leave. She hated the holidays. No detentions to help settle her chaotic mind. Nothing to distract her from the nagging voices and dark seductive swirls of magic threatening to spill from her.
Even Pomfrey's bitter swill was starting to lose its effectiveness. She wondered if it was because she had been bonded for so long now. There was nothing in her family's journals about what could happen if the bond was left unchecked, if it was neither accepted or destroyed. She was playing with fire and she knew it.
The only light she had to look forward to was that Hermione would perhaps be at Molly's party. She could relax, get a breath of fresh air before the girl once again left and she was forced back to her cold and lonely life at the castle.
She frowned, turned to sit on a cold stone archway nestled into a frosted window. She wasn't alone, she had friends and family although they all drove her crazy half the time. It just….wasn't the same. Not really. She wanted what Molly and Lily had. She wanted….her own family. She had her sisters but….now they had husbands and children, loyalties had shifted, albeit only slightly. She wanted someone to come home to. She wanted it to be Hermione.
She wondered what exactly Hermione wanted. Sometimes there were times she caught the girl staring at her. Something deep and heavy in her eyes but what it was she could never tell.
Her long fingers reached up to brush against her own soft lips, remembering the feeling and the taste of the girl. She was nearly incoherent but she knew the kiss had been real. Did Hermione kiss back? She couldn't recall. Perhaps the look she sometimes levelled her way was desire….longing maybe. She would give up anything for it to be true but she couldn't kid herself.
"Bellatrix," She jumped at the sound of Snape's voice, so lost in her own thoughts she hadn't heard his measured approach. "Are you alright? Have you need of anything?" She frowned, wondering just how devastated she must have looked for him to be staring at her with such concern.
"No." She flinched internally. She hadn't meant for her tone to be so clipped. "I'm fine, Severus. Just tired."
He hummed thoughtfully but whether he believed her or not he made no move to carry on. He merely stepped back as she stood, his hands tucked deeply into the pockets of his muted black robes.
"I had…been meaning to speak with you. Something I have been concerned about over the last few weeks especially." She tensed, her dark eyes narrowing.
"Then spit it out." She berated herself for the rush of irritation she felt when he didn't respond to her harsh tone.
"The Granger girl…" She barely restrained a growl, her finger nails dug into her palm and she itched to pull out her new wand, for what she didn't quiet know but she was sure she wasn't going to like where his concern was heading. "That night you two were attacked, you kissed her before you lost consciousness do you remember?"
She could deny it but what good would it do, she was sure his line of questioning was brought on by him seeing her touching her lips. And the truth was she did remember, nearly vividly despite her fragile state at the time.
Her eyes held his for a few seconds and she sighed. He had obviously kept a close eye on her since then, she could see he already suspected her feelings denying them would do her no good. Surprisingly her anger melted away, replaced by a bone deep weariness she couldn't shake.
"I remember, Severus." She sighed heavily and turned back to the window just as rain began pelting down against it. She let the rhythmic tap sooth her back into a balanced state of mind.
"Did you know what you were doing?" The question seemed of the utmost importance to him. His eyes hard and calculated.
"Not at the time. I….thought I was dreaming."
"Of Granger?" She nodded. "Do you often dream of the girl, so often you would mistake her for a dream in real life. Even given the circumstances it is very unprofessional and down right dangerous for a relationship such as that to develop and Granger seemed most upset about the kiss-"
Her patience waned and she snapped at him. "Yes. Is it so wrong for me to want to kiss the one I'm bonded to Severus? Do you have something to say in judgment of my mistake? Some kind of punishment you think I deserve?"
He stared at her in shock for a moment as she collected herself, cursing at her inability to keep her cool and ultimately spilling her most guarded secret. A secret that was already becoming too widely known.
But she couldn't bare thinking about what he had seen on Hermione's face after her impromptu kiss. Had the girl truly been upset? Disgusted? She berated herself, of course she was. Bellatrix had never been much more than a bitch to her, why shouldn't she be disgusted the teacher had kissed her?
"I didn't know." Snape finally said, gently and reverently.
"How could you, I chose not to tell you." He nodded but said nothing else. He didn't know what to say, he knew the Blacks. If her father had been alive he could have only imagined the horrors Bella would have gone through. "I would appreciate it if you kept it between us. Not even she knows."
His mouth fell open in shock, his dark eyes wide as he shuffled uncomfortably on his feet. "She….you are suffering this bond but do you not have any intention of fulfilling it? Bellatrix I have seen the affects of those under bonds it is not pretty no one has ever lasted so long, not in the Black line surely, you know this." She did, but how he knew she couldn't fathom.
She brushed off his concern as quickly as she brushed off his pitying gaze. "I am Bellatrix Black. I will do what I must. Do not interfere." She turned away, stalking back to her quarters as quick as possible without appearing as if she was running.
~H~
She couldn't wait to see Sterling. The usual bubbling feeling of anxiety and excitement running through her settled heavier in her stomach as the train inched it's way towards the station.
No one would be there to wait for her, she knew this. Her Grandparents couldn't have come to pick her up and Salt was always working, not that she minded. Normally she took a cab, today however she had no money. Not even a knut in her case, which meant she couldn't take the night bus either.
She watched as the station slowly blocked out the low lying sun and found herself wishing she could apparate. She had been forbidden from taking the exam, Dumbledore had explained the risks of high emotional stress and reluctantly she had agreed that at the time of the tests she was in no mental position to attempt it. She knew the theory and the basics but she was afraid she wouldn't be able to focus enough to ever apparate safely home, she would be too afraid to appear in front of her stepfather. She comforted herself with the knowledge she could somehow learn later, when she had places to travel to besides home and school.
"Finally," Harry groaned as the train completed it's stop and the whistle sounded, signaling them all that it was now safe to depart. "My legs are asleep." He stretched out as far as he could while standing up before reaching into the overhead and passing out everyone's luggage. Once again he slung his and Ginny's over a shoulder and Hermione couldn't help the small smile over how chivalrous her best friend was.
"Uh….want me to carry yours?" She glanced over at Ron in surprise.
"Oh…no I…mine isn't nearly as heavy as Ginny's, not even the trunk." He smiled sheepishly and shrugged as his sister complained loudly about being unappreciated and how hard it was to look nice for her man without choices. Hermione quietly bet she had packed two outfits for every day they would be away. It sounded a bit like something her boisterous friend would do.
"Do you want us to apparate you home Hermione?" Ron asked as they maneuvered their way through the crowded hall to the platform.
She wished she could have accepted the offer, even though she didn't care for the boys to try and travel so far. On their way homes she knew they stopped once and collected themselves before apparating again, it increased the risk of minor splinching but it decreased the risk of a major one and it helped them practice and grow more confident with each success. But taking her home would mean a fairly good trip, not nearly as far as their own homes, but there wouldn't be anywhere they could stop and take stock of themselves. Her home was nestled in a muggle community and the risk of exposure was just too high. Not to mention the sitter she knew was keeping an eye on Sterling until Peter returned home.
"No…I know you could do it." She told Ron as his face flushed irritably, they all knew she usually took a muggle cab home or the bus. "But there isn't anywhere close you could truly apparate too and there is supposed to be a sitter with Sterling today." The redhead grumbled irritably but he didn't try an argue that he could still do it and not be caught.
"Alright. But we are gonna miss you." Harry set down the bags as they finally squeezed their way to a secluded area of the platform. He reached out and hugged her close, she couldn't help the tears that spring into her eyes at the brotherly embrace. She managed to wipe them casually as he pulled away before Ginny had launched herself into her vacant arms.
"I love you! Stay safe okay and I'll see you at the party." She ignored the flash of guilt that burned in her chest at the words and managed a watery smile.
"I'll do my best." She promised. She turned to Ron, expecting another hug, his usual awkward one, but the boy fidgeted on his feet for a moment and opened his mouth to say something before closing it tightly and glancing over her shoulder with a bright blush. She frowned at his strange behavior but before she could say anything a woman's voice drew her attention from behind her.
As she turned she missed Harry giving his friend a consoling look and Ginny rolling her eyes at her brother's floundering attempt to ask Hermione out. Harry had been coaching him up all week and Ginny had been enjoying his embarrassment but she was rather tired of the moping every summer because he still hasn't done it. What Hermione's response would be Ginny wasn't sure, she knew Hermione felt something for Bellatrix Black but even she was unaware of what it was exactly and she didn't have even the smallest hint of what Hermione could possibly feel for her brother. The thoughts brought a frown to her own face as she turned her attention back to the brunette. Hermione didn't talk a lot about romance, or her feelings. Ginny was going to have to change that, it was an important part of being gal pals after all, she had read that in a magazine once.
Hermione would have been glad she missed the roller coaster of emotions behind her but the sight of the auror calling out her name confused her a bit, considering they were hardly even acquaintances. "Ah…hello?" She recognized her but couldn't recall her name, nor did she have any idea why the woman would be shouting her name and coming towards her with clear intent.
"Oh, sorry I'm Tonks. We met-"
"Yes I remember." She was quick to cut her off, glancing purposefully toward the others. Moody had made it clear to them not to tell anyone surely the auror would remember that.
"Right. Well…." She stressed the word out and glanced toward the other curious teens. "Well Ron's mum and my mum were talking about you, about the party the other day and they were talking about picking you up in the car because you couldn't apparate yet and I thought maybe you would need a ride from the station too since no one seemed to think about that." It took Hermione a few seconds for her brain to catch up with the rushed sentence.
"Uh….Tonks you came all the way here just to take a stranger home because our parents were talking about her?" Ginny's brow furrowed in confusion, she was sure she was missing something and she had no idea when the two other women had even met. It certainly hadn't been enough of a meeting for Hermione to mention it.
"Well….yeah…I just got my driver's license and this was the best excuse I could come up with to use it." She couldn't very well add she was ridiculously curious about Hermione Granger. Thankfully she was spared trying to answer any more questions by Ron's indignant shout.
"Hey! No fair, I've been dying to learn how to drive but no one will teach me." It wasn't a common thing in a pure wizarding household. Hermione knew how, though she didn't have a car, and Tonks' father had been a muggle born so he knew how and taught her. Ginny had no interest in driving so it hadn't bothered her that their parents hadn't been willing to teach them, their own car had been magically modified. It not only flew but it drove itself and had anti-muggle jinxes on it so they wouldn't ever be bothered by the police. She didn't need to know how to drive.
"Maybe Molly will let dad show you how." She glanced at Hermione. "I am a good driver but I don't think I'm qualified to teach you how." He grumbled a bit about the unfairness of it all but he did seem rather excited that he might get what he wanted after all.
"Harry my boy!" The group turned as yet another adult headed toward them. This time Harry's messy headed father, he was beaming at them all and shot Tonks a curious stare. The dark brown haired woman raised her hands in exasperation, her hair turning red at the ends and surprising no one but Hermione.
"I just wanted to offer Granger a ride home." She defended herself, completely aware she really had no business on the platform.
He frowned but didn't say anything else about her defensive exclamation. "Right. So you ready Harry?"
Ginny elbowed her boyfriend good-naturedly. "Still not gonna tell me?" He grinned but shook his head, giving her a quick kiss goodbye and a wave to everyone else before he and his father took off.
"Well since Tonks is gonna take you home I guess we will see you later." Ron shuffled a bit again, clearly he had something to say but for whatever reason he was holding back. It didn't sit well with Hermione. But she couldn't force whatever it was out of him so she let it drop, for now. She really hoped it wasn't anything to do with his girlfriend, there was only so much of Lavender she could take.
"I suppose I'll see you two later then." Her coffee colored eyes fell back on the nervous woman beside her. Honestly she wasn't sure she wanted to go anywhere with the woman, she didn't know her. She wasn't about to tell them that though, they would probably insist on riding with her and then probably staying for a while and that would open up a whole new can of problems for her.
"So…." She started when everyone else had disappeared. "Why exactly did you come to get me? We don't really know each other."
"Bellatrix is my aunt." The student struggle not to let her surprise at that information show on her face. In any case she still didn't see what it had to do with her. "Well they are all friends you know. Harry and Ron's moms, mine and Aunt Bella. They talk about you sometimes so I was a bit curious. And I didn't think it was fair when they were talking about how you always took a cab home because your father is a muggle."
"Step.." She hadn't meant to correct her, she was not opening her family Dynamics up for conversation. Luckily Tonks waved for her to follow and left it alone.
"I'm gonna admit I was kind of curious about you. We haven't met even though your my cousins' best friend." She chuckled a bit. "I never go to Molly's party I always have to work, I'm going this year but…well I couldn't wait."
Hermione made a noncommittal sound to show she was listening. Truthfully she wasn't sure what to say, she wasn't really so interesting that someone would want to meet her.
Tonks surprised her by shucking off her cloak before they passed the barrier. "Dads a muggle born, I spend quiet a bit of time in the muggle world for work and pleasure." She winked at Hermione and held out a hand, offering to take her luggage. The brunette shrugged her off, not willing to have her asking questions about the charms she had on the trunk. It wasn't illegal and she might not have said anything but Hermione had learned to keep things to herself, even the smallest slip up meant trouble out in the non magical world. And it seemed like nearly everything managed to get back to her stepfather. "Ready then? I parked a little ways away."
Tonks didn't bother trying to help Hermione load the trunk once they arrived to her car, she had figured out quiet quickly not only was the girl quiet but she was independent to a fault. And stubborn, she smiled secretly to herself as she watched Hermione gently close the boot of her car and climb into the passenger side. She was a good match for Bella, Tonks had already figured out that much.
"Where to?"
Hermione listed off her address and turned her attention to the window. She tried to keep up with the woman's idle chatter but her focus was on how to get the auror to leave before Peter Salt made it home to find a magical person having tea in his living room. He wouldn't blow up then, no, Peter was ever hospitable and charming, but after the woman left Hermione would be sure to feel the pain of her unintended defiance. She needed to avoid that at all costs.
"So what's your plans after you finish school?" Tonks didn't miss the girl's flinch but she wasn't sure if it was because Hermione had been half paying attention or if it was because of something else.
"College." Which had actually always been her plan and hopefully still could be if she could somehow manage to convince Peter it was necessary. She had kept up with all the required muggle classes over the years, cramming full years into her short summer months. The workload had kept her sane and given her a purpose when things were bordering hopeless.
"Muggle college?" She didn't miss the surprise in the changeling's voice. She wasn't offended, most witches or wizards never even attempted to integrate back into muggle society, not even the ones born there.
"Yes, there is quiet a bit I would like to study, medicine or teaching. I think there is a lot the magical community could learn from muggle medicine and vice versa. Herbology and pharmacology aren't too different. Even potions could be used to better help the muggles….although some things would obviously have to be changed and experimented with." Namely every magical plant and element they used but she was sure proper substitutes could be found for medicinal droughts. It was interesting to think about anyways.
"My mother is a healer, it may be something she would be willing to experiment with you." And it might keep Hermione around for Bellatrix to visit if she was too stubborn to do anything. Not a permanent solution, but a decent enough start.
"I think I'll need to get a background in pharmacology before I go experimenting." Tonks merely hummed in response. "Turn here." Hermione frowned as her home came into view. A simple cookie cutter house her father had bought when her mother was pregnant. It was kept up to the strict block code, grass and hedges neat, exteriors clean and free of unnecessary clutter like toys and gardening equipment. They hired someone to do all that, with the money her parents left for her in their wills no doubt. That wasn't what caused her to frown though. The two extra cars cluttering up the drive way were the problems.
It seemed Sterling's grandparents had chosen to visit today of all days, and if she recognized the blue SUV like she was sure she did the babysitter who kept Sterling during the school year had also arrived.
Her fingernails dug into her palm as she instructed Tonks to let her out just off the driveway. At least the presence of so many muggle gave her an excuse to send the woman away without appearing too rude.
She couldn't stop the auror from helping her unload her trunk this time but she was grateful the woman said nothing about the lightness of it's content. She slung her duffle up over her shoulder and grabbed the trunk after it was set down. The street was rather busy and she couldn't afford the trunk to go careening down the small hill, it had all the Christmas presents her friends had gotten for Sterling inside.
Tonks gazed down at her curiously as she closed the boot with a thump. "Why didn't you just pack your clothes in your trunk?" she wouldn't admit it but the fact that Hermione had brought her trunk as well as a bag had confused her since she first saw the girl at the platform.
Hermione grimaced. "My sister's Christmas presents are in here, the wrapping from Fred and George's are….very sparkly. It would have gotten everywhere." That elicited a small chuckle from Tonks. "I'm sorry, I would invite you in," If the other woman knew she was lying she didn't let on, "but my sister's grandparents seem to be here and…well they are muggles and have no idea….."
"It's okay. I'll see you at Molly's party." Hermione wanted to ask why it was so important she see her at all but she didn't know if she would like the answer. She didn't want to add anymore stress to herself and on the off chance the blasted woman wanted something else from her…well she just wasn't too interested in knowing. She wouldn't be going to the party anyways.
"Okay….uh…see you later then." She shuffled awkwardly toward her home, forcing herself not to look back as she heard the car door shut and Tonks take off down the street.
~H~
She made her way up the drive and let herself into what had once been her parents home. It had been filled with laughter and Christmas music when she had come home those first few years for Christmas break. The death of her father changed all that.
This time though she opened the door to the sound of a child's laughter and the heavenly scent of spiced apple and Garland.
She set her stuff down by the door and followed the sounds until she found Sterling and her sitter, Ms. Swift, dancing around a tall Christmas tree as they decorated it with ornaments and candy canes. She couldn't help the smile it brought to her face and she had to admit it was a pleasant change to come home to Sterling rather than an empty house.
"Did you guys save me anything?" Swift turned toward her voice and beamed at the girl, she nudged Sterling with her hand and pointed toward her sister. Hermione knew she would never get tired of seeing her bright eyes light up at the sight of her. Sterling made her feel like the most important person in the world.
"Mione!" The small bundle of energy and black curls launched herself into open arms, giggling and chatting excitedly about all the decorations she had helped put up and the supper they had warming in the stove.
Hermione smiled, signing as she spoke to the little girl. "That's great Sterling. Do you think you can finish helping Ms. Swift while I go and get the presents to place under the tree." Her sea green eyes lit up at the prospect of presents and she wiggled until Hermione set her back down.
She nodded to the sitter before heading back to the entry way for her trunk. She hadn't seen Peter's parents yet but she knew they were somewhere. They rarely ever visited and clearly they hadn't made an attempt for Sterling's sake or they would have been helping her decorate instead of leaving it all up to Ms. Swift.
They weren't as bad as their son, they had never struck or even raised their voice to either of the girls. And they did seem to love Sterling to distraction even if they didn't visit very often. It was their complacency that irked Hermione, though. And their inability to see what their son was. True he was charming and well loved by nearly everyone he met but Hermione had written to them. She had explained everything, from the abuse to the neglect of Sterling as a baby. Instead of offering help or trying to figure out if she was telling the truth the Salts had sent her a scathing reply back….and they had told Peter what she had told them.
It was probably one of the worst beatings he had ever given her. But it was the disappointment and the realization that no one was going to help her that hurt the most. The ministry's hands were tied by their own laws when it came to Sterling and the most Dumbledore could do for her was to send Hagrid to intimidate her stepfather into letting her return to school every semester if she needed it. If she had thought the muggle government wouldn't split them up Hermione would have gone to them but the risk wasn't worth it. If he got Sterling back Hermione would never see the girl again. He would make sure of that.
"Mione!" She turned back around, slinging her bag over her shoulder as Harry had done while she pulled the trunk behind her. "We got to put the star up, Mimi said you should do it." She smiled and nodded, happy that the nickname Sterling had started for her permanent sitter at the beginning of her term had stuck. Ms. Swift was more of a grandparent than Sterling had ever had and she was one of the few people who believed Hermione when the girl had broken down and told her what was going on. She did her best to take care of the girl and see to Hermione any chance she got. She had been a friend and colleague of her father….back before he passed.
"Come on!" Hermione chuckled at the little girl's enthusiasm.
"Alright, alright already, I'm coming."
~H~
The topper had been snuggly fit into it's place and they were putting the last of the presents under the tree when Sterling's grandparents came into the den.
"Nana look!" Sterling signed quickly as she spoke. "We finished the tree and I didn't eat any of the garmland."
The elder Salt woman chuckled, her eyes softening as they slid from Hermione to her grandchild. "Its Garland," She carefully signed and spoke the word so Sterling could learn the correct way. However Hermione felt about her she would never say the woman didn't care for Sterling, she had been one of the only ones to learn sign language with Hermione and encouraged the girls independence when it came to her language skills.
"It's very pretty. You girls did a good job." She nodded tightly to Hermione. They were always polite and courteous in front of Sterling. And truthfully they were never really ugly to the girl even when Sterling was gone. But they never made an attempt to get to know her, never asked anything personal and her grandfather from time to time would comment about how lucky she was Peter kept her from losing her home and was kind enough to take her in after her parents death.
Sterling beamed, completely unaware of the tense undertones. Ms. Swift gave her a soft understanding smile and turned to collect her bag off the couch. "I'm afraid I have to be going, dear." She bent down and kisses Sterling's cheek, signing clumsily that she would see the girl after the holidays. "Just drop her off before you go to the train station, I'll get everything I need later, she still has a few winter outfits at the house." Hermione smiled, appreciating the fact that she wouldn't need to pack Sterling and her own bags. It was always hectic when she was returning for term, mainly because she was always fighting with Peter so she could return.
"Thank you. You're a godsend, honestly." The brunette flashed an appreciative smile and tried not to focus on the way the two Salt's frowned. Hermione had no idea what was going through their minds and honestly she couldn't find the energy to care too much.
Richard walked the woman to the door as Sterling went back to fussing over the tree, she was arranging all the presents just right and making sure she liked where every ornament was located, she was so fussy it was absolutely adorable. Hermione and Louise moved to sit on the couch so they could watch her. But where Hermione was content to sit in silence the older woman evidently wasn't.
She eyed the girl curiously and not without a little disapproval. "I heard you've been causing a fuss at that school. Something about a boy." Hermione grimaced, knowing whatever she said in defense of herself the older woman wasn't bound to believe her. How they found out, or rather what they had been told, she had no idea.
" A misunderstanding." She told her simply. Not wishing to embellish any further and hoping to avoid and awkward and tense conversation.
She hummed thoughtfully. "You are a pretty little thing but you shouldn't be so loose with your body. Whether you like it or not Sterling looks up to you as an older sister and you should set a better example."
Hermione bit her tongue as she forced herself to remain impartial to the woman's incorrect assumptions. "I assure you I do the best I can to be a good example for my sister. She's the most important person in my life. She comes before anything and anybody." Her dark eyes settled on the woman's green. She saw something stir, perhaps shock, Hermione wasn't sure what lies Peter had told them about her nor did she care. In the end they would believe whatever they wanted to believe just like everyone else and she had no doubt one day Peter Salt would be the death of her. She idly wondered if they would believe her then. If they would think back to her desperate plea for help and feel shame or guilt. If they would even care. She wondered if he would be caught or if people would still believe him to be a loving caring father who took in a difficult and lying stepdaughter.
~H~
By some small miracle Peter wasn't so bad when he got home, it probably had a lot to do with the fact his parents were still there, sitting in the living room watching cartoons with their grandchild.
He was all smiles and jolly Christmas spirit, so happy to have his step daughter home for the holidays. It was positively sickening to watch and Hermione found herself searching for an excuse to retire to her room. She knew she had to make her escape while his parents were there if she wanted to get to sleep in any kind of peace.
"I'm sorry, I think I'm going to head on up to bed. Tired from the trip." She smiled at Sterling, not waiting for anyone to protest and standing up, with a quick kiss to Sterling's forehead she turned to head toward the stairs.
"Hermione," She barely restrained a flinch as Peter's voice called out to her. "Put your phone in my room. That's the punishment for the foolishness you and that boy pulled during the semester."
She nodded but didn't turn around. She didn't have a phone. It was just an easy reminder she wasn't to keep her wand. It was to be stored in his bedroom in a safe only he had the combination for. If he ever suspected she could unlock it easily with wandless magic he didn't let on.
She heard him and his father start talking about young women being promiscuous with their bodies and how Hermione was probably a lost cause if he couldn't discipline her right. She tuned them out when Richard started telling Peter about the benefits of public school and having her closer so he could keep a better eye on her.
She quickly stowed her wand in the safe beside Peter's bed. She didn't linger. She hated being inside the master bedroom. When she was a child she loved her mother's decorations, they were light and fun. The perfect mix between her two parents and a flamboyant display of their love for her and her accomplishments.
Now everything was dark, dark woods and dark clothes and the window had long been covered to keep out the light.
Once a childish rendition of her family hung in it's frame, dangling from a string, perfectly placed to catch the mid-afternoon light and cast it playfully about the room. A stained glass she had done at the library as a child. With the help of the librarian and a professional who had come to teach the class she had painstakingly chosen every color, had watched in awe as the glassworker had cut, shaped, and placed every piece exactly as Hermione had requested. It had been her most prized accomplishment as a child. The first Christmas present she had presented to her parents of her very own making, she had made sure to keep it delicately wrapped and hidden until they opened it under the tree. It was crude, even under the hand of the professional, but it was of her own mind, her own imagination and her parents had fawned over it more than anything else they had been given that year.
It had been the only thing that survived her mother's drastic change of temperament after her father's death. Sometimes Hermione would walk by her room, just after Peter moved in, and she would see the woman reaching out to touch it. Tears streaming from her eyes as she was bathed it the soft red and blues as the sun set. She always wanted to go in, to hug her mother, comfort her somehow….but by then it was too late. The bond they had was broken and she never managed to bring herself to cross the threshold and comfort the woman who no longer gave her an ounce of care.
When she died Peter had tossed it. She had found it split in half resting in the kitchen rubbish like the trash he considered it. She didn't know why but she had taken the pieces out, contemplated fixing them before she had ultimately placed them back where she found them.
Her childhood was over, it was never coming back. Memories of it had soured for her and while she kept her photo journal she didn't want any other keepsake of something she would never have again, of something her mother had given up on.
She forced her thoughts away, back to the here and now as she grabbed her toiletries from the duffle deposited on her bed and rushed through a quick shower. If she hurried she hoped Peter would have nothing else to say to her that night. Perhaps he would let her rest the entire night before he started up the usual nightmare of being trapped in his company.
She didn't bother to blow dry her hair, not willing to chance the time it would take. She brushed it out and pulled on long, ill fitting, pajamas before silently padding into her room and shutting the door.
It had a lock but she was too afraid to use it. She had no doubt in her mind that if her stepfather wanted inside a lock wasn't about to stop him. And she could ill afford to anger him. Two weeks with him was enough without him furious with her.
Her eyes scanned the room, she knew he had gone through the things she had left behind. There wasn't much, a few old books she no longer needed a photo of her father and mother before they had her and a few loose items of clothing she no longer wore was all that she left behind. There were no childish knickknacks and much like the stain glass she had long lost any childhood sentimental objects.
Her eyes landed back on the bed, on the journal poking out of her bag. It was the only book she had brought. Her homework had already been completed and she'd had no reason to burden herself with any others. For whatever reason though she was reluctant to search through the pages of this one.
She picked it up again and stared down at the cover. She knew she should get a start on it, she had so long to complete her assignment but Bellatrix had stressed the sooner she finished the better. What was holding her back she didn't know but a strange ominous feeling settled over her like a dark cloud every time she thought about it.
She climbed up into the bed, leaning up against the wall as she opens the heavy parchment pages. She half expected something to happen, some cruel joke or curse set on it by some malicious Black to reach out and suck her into it's pages. It wouldn't be the first cursed book she had gotten her hands on after all.
But nothing did happen. The pages were old and crinkled in protest as she turned them, but they didn't reach out to suck her in and there was no pain to be had as she tried to make out the elegant scrawl.
~B~
Bella plucked at her woolen sweater, Molly had knitted it for her last year for Christmas and despite all her blustering that she wasn't a Weasley and it shouldn't have a giant green W on it she was very fond of it. The black material suited her perfectly and the elegant green stitching showed how much care and love the Wesley Matriarch had put in it's design.
She scolded herself for tugging on the fabric and forced herself to rise from chair.
She was hiding out in her office. There wasn't much else for her to do and her own rooms felt far too lonely. Her plan had been to finish up lesson plans for the next term, grade a few papers and make sure everyone was progressing nicely for their end of term tests. Unfortunately her mind had other ideas and refused to allow her the concentration required to do anything.
Her thoughts kept drifting back to the conversation she'd had with her niece. She wondered if she had told her mother about the baby yet or if she had spoken to the wolf….
It wasn't a problem she could solve for her. But it didn't mean she didn't hurt for her niece.
An owl startled her, a sudden slamming against her window, as it face planted into the glass. She pulled herself over and opened it, noting the poor creature dumped about half it's body weight worth of snow onto her floor as it shook its self and hopped closer to the small fire to warm his wings. She waved her hand and cleared the snow away without a word as she opened the letter addressed to her in the chicken scratch scrawl of Ronald Weasley, who was no doubt messaging her at the behest of his mother.
She frowned as she read over the contents. Another invitation to Lily's Christmas party, as if she had forgotten. Both Lily and Molly threw one every year and she typically attended at least one. Andy and Tonks were all off work and would be there as well so she supposed it was there way of making sure she remembered, she supposed it didn't matter which one she went to as both of them had mentioned they would likely go to both as well.
She grabbed a piece of scrap parchment and scribbled her reply down, she would be there, it would make a decent enough distraction and she had no doubt there would be wine. She let Errol rest a few more minutes before she attached the paper to his leg and all but slung him back out into the night sky.
~H~
The sound of the door being pushed open woke her from her fitful rest. The journal had slid from her hands to her lap as she had dozed and she quickly tucked it under her pillow before the lights could be switched on and Peter catch her with it.
But the lights didn't come on. Instead soft, but quick, padding feet made their way to her bad and small hands reached up to pull herself atop The ruffled blanket.
"Mione, can I sleep in here?"
The girl smiled softly and in answer lifted the small child over herself and placed her between her own body and the wall.
It was late, and if she listened she could hear the blissful sound of her stepfather snoring like a freight train from just across the hall. It was doubtful he would bother her tonight and she couldn't pass up the opportunity to rest peacefully with the baby in her arms.
"Can you do the magic?" Sterling asked her after a moment.
Hermione carefully lifted her hand, the light of the full moon sifting through her window cast enough light to allow her to make shadows dance across her wall. It had started out as a distraction when Sterling was small, like a mobile. But as she got older they became more complex, and with the promise to keep it a secret between the two Hermione had began turning them into bedtime stories with words on the walls that the little girl could read without having to move her attention back and forth to understand.
She left the shadows form into their usual shapes. They had a hero, a woman with wild black curly hair, a young princess and always some awful monster. It was always the same, Sterling content with it as a child is content with a fairy tale, completely unaware of the desperate wish Hermione had for the story to have been true. For some noble hero to come and save her.
"Love you, Mione." The soft sleepy voice tugged at her heart as she let the shadows fade back into the darkness of the night.
"I love you too, Sterling." She turned herself into the girl, breathed in the comforting smell of her watermelon shampoo and finally faded back into a comfortable sleep.