(Before Kylo Ren) (Tag to Chapter 15) (Ben is 13)

He had never felt more scared.

Stun-cuffs pinned his arms in front. His head felt fuzzy and heavy, like the afternoon when Poe had left the stupid blue drink out.

He was angry. So angry he wanted to grip the swine female's head with the Force and burst it in a shower of blood.

But he couldn't.

Because he was terrified.

"Poe!" Ben's voice cracked and he coughed before shouting, "Poe!"

Brown eyes cracked open and Ben wasn't crying, he never cried, he just felt so good that Poe wasn't dead after all, because they'd slung him around when he wasn't supposed to be moving at all and that was bad for a head injury, wasn't it?

"Poe!" Ben screeched when the slit of brown closed. No, don't fall asleep, you can't you just moved too much and you could die and – "Poe Dameron, open your eyes right now!"

Poe mumbled, turned his head, and garbled some stupid apology. Ben wanted to laugh and his throat betrayed him. "Poe!" he exclaimed again, too relieved to care that he sounded pathetic.

Coherency gleamed in an amber thread and Poe muttered, "D'I fall down?"

The memory of Poe's eyes blanking as he fell forward, as Ben tried to catch him, as the sun shone on that innocent, hateful bench in front of the medical wing, as they were both dragged away while Poe was helpless and Ben couldn't scream – he forced his dismay into a passionate rebuke. "You didn't fall, you fool! We were both captured!"

He didn't need to be angry with Poe. He couldn't be. Bad things happened whenever….

Stop! Stop! Keening softly, Ben squeezed his eyes shut. I can't – It doesn't matter!

Poe started babbling about silly games, and it was so easy for Ben to morph his pain into fury before it became tears. "I'm not playing, Poe!"

He wanted to shake Dameron for being such a fool, but that would move his head too suddenly and – Force, what if he was already permanently injured and Ben was only aggravating him more? (Aggravation was the right word, wasn't it? He needed Poe's help to know for sure. Don't die, don't die, please – you're still so important.)

A horrible moan clawed Ben from his frantic thoughts, and he whimpered as ash whitened Poe's face. Crawling, sniffling, telling himself he was braver than this, he wriggled to his friend's side and tapped a hand against Poe's cheek. Soft and nice, like Mother does it. So you have to pay attention to me now, 'cause you listen whenever she touches you.

"P-Poe," Ben insisted waveringly. "Just don't fall asleep. Promise, Poe!" I keep my promises – you have to, too. You can't back out on this one!

"Kay…." Poe muttered. He was fading. No, no, no, Poe!

Ben grabbed Dameron's sleeve, yanking on him, hurting him to make him stay awake. I'm sorry, I'm sorry! "I – I think Luke knows we're in danger." I'm sorry, please don't go! "He'll be here!" Don't give up you never give up! "Just hang on!" Please, please Poe, don't leave me!

"Kay…." Poe's voice was solid and comforting, even while he was the one hurting and Ben was the one telling him to hold on. "Calm down, Ben. S'okay…."

Okay. It's okay. But don't die! You can't! It won't ever be okay if you're gone!

"Contact Luke," Poe mumbled, and Ben found his clarity again.

"Look for the Force like a bright star," Mother always told him. "When you find your Uncle Luke's star, just tap him. He'll find you."

He reached out, imagining Poe's courage, and found only swirls of confusion in his head. No stars. No bright lights to show him his family. Mother, you're wrong!

He sobbed and reached deeper, thrusting aside misted uncertainties and ashen clouds. A feeble light glowed, so far away he could barely brush his finger against it. Uncle!

Somehow he was heard. A strand of light tingled back before he fell away, sucked back into the worried tides. Crying out, Ben cradled his head in his hands. What's wrong with me?

"I…." He had to breathe slowly, wiping away the droplet that streaked down his chin. "I think it worked? I mean, I can sense the Force – I think it reached him."

Poe murmured, and his head lolled in Ben's lap. "Falling 'sleep now…. Wake up soon…."

"Poe, no!" Ben screamed, leaning over his friend. Dark eyes closed and he reached down, hesitated, and shouted again, "Dameron, don't you dare!" Panic shivered in his hands. "I'll tell mother you're disobeying the medical droid. I'll – I'll – " He sobbed in regret, babbled an apology, and carefully wobbled Poe's head. "Poe, wake up! You can't sleep now, Poe! Poe!"

There was no response, except for his own sobs. I'm sorry I'm sorry it's all my fault if I hadn't hurt you this never would have happened it's all my fault there's something evil in me and I hate it and you aren't there to stop me and I need you Poe, don't go!

"Poe….."

When the Gamorrean kicked Poe away, Ben clawed at the red haze. When the bounty hunters tore him away, he fought back.

When a blaster jammed against Poe's head, he screamed. Over and over, in terror and defiance, until his voice jarred and faded and a grimy hand clamped over his mouth.

He screamed inside then, tears leaking over the hand, and he could not reach the Force.

Fear kept him from saving his friend.

Don't kill him – please – I can't – Luke where are you – you promised you would be there – Mom, help! Why aren't you here? Father!

Metal bore into his head and he sobbed. Please don't – don't – don't I don't want to – please, don't hurt Poe – Father, Uncle Chewie, someone please come please I'm sorry just please be here now!

He heard the click of a blaster trigger and wondered how much it would hurt to die. How long before –

Before his mind formed the words, color burst through the doors and a flash of green soldered the barrel behind his head. He looked behind him and saw furious blue eyes. Eyes that glowed with power and surety as a lightsaber severed the lives of his captors. He saw Master Skywalker and knew that one day, he could also be a great Jedi. No one would ever hurt him or Poe again.

When he saw his parents, he writhed and hollered, surging to escape the maimed corpses. Leia yanked him away and he fell against her, clinging to her with filthy, blood-speckled fingers. She held him without condemnation, like she did when Ben first realized he was a monster.

But it was Poe whom Han ran to. Poe whose name was shouted in the filthy crypt of durasteel walls.

In that instant, cradled in his mother's arms, Ben knew he would always fail. No matter how great a Jedi he became. No matter how hard he tried.

He would never be good enough.

(Aftermath)

When Poe had the strength to stand, he went down to the containment cells alone. He didn't tell Leia.

"I'm sorry," Jess had whispered when he asked about Ech'ban.

The execution had been prompt. A soldier of the Resistance had sabotaged the general's battleship and delivered his comrades to the First Order. Deceit of this kind was unforgiveable.

Some special cases were left unpunished.

Ben had always been a special case.

"I'll leave the door unlocked," the guard told Poe as he released the doors. "You will be monitored. We aren't taking any chances."

The fact that he was permitted entrance was a blunder to Poe's advantage. Had General Organa known what he was doing, he wouldn't have made it past the first gates.

The illumination of the Resistance cells was almost too painful. Poe raised an arm to shield his eyes, and his back twinged. He didn't need another reminder that there was no sense pitying those who were interrogated within these halls.

He looked to the filthy mop of black robes, and he couldn't feel regret. You were once my friend…?

He wasn't sure of anything now.

Kylo Ren sullenly raised his eyes, dark and barren against the garish lance of his scarred face. He shifted, unthreatening in the binds of a straightjacket. "Come here to gloat?"

Dazed, Poe leaned against the wall. He couldn't remember why he came. "Not really."

The former Jedi scoffed. "Your vocabulary has hardly improved."

"And yours is still erroneous," Poe retorted on instinct. He felt homesick, but the thought was immediately quenched with pain.

Silence brooded. Uncomfortably Kylo Ren wriggled to put his other shoulder against the wall. "You're here to conduct my next interrogation, I presume."

Another pause. Poe shook his head.

"Then why are you here?" Kylo Ren lashed.

"… I don't know," Poe admitted, leaning heavily against the door. He didn't know. Ben had taken everything, shredded it, restored him, and still betrayed him. He had no reason to stay.

"Maybe Finn's right," Poe said in a sigh. "I'm too gullible." Too forgiving. Too tarnished by hope.

Kylo Ren snorted. "You would still fall under a knife for me."

"No." He said it quickly, and he knew every word deep in his soul. "I'd stop you." This time. "That's why you're here."

"Afraid of a Force ghost?" Kylo Ren sneered.

"Afraid of what you could become," Poe retorted. "After death. Your influence wouldn't stop there." You won't be haunting Rey, or Finn. I'll protect them from you.

Dark eyes shifted uneasily. "So I'm to be caged," Kylo Ren asserted quietly. "Locked away until my bones testify my past."

Poe didn't answer.

"I suppose Mother told you to speak to me," Kylo Ren surmised.

"Leave her out of this." Finally he was angry enough to break out the numbness, if only for an instant.

Memories followed.

B-wings and canron.

Poe raised his fist, swung it, and then rested it lightly against the wall. Turning away, he murmured, "It didn't have to be this way."

He rapped on the wall, signaling to the guard that he wanted to be let out. For the last time.

In his mind, Ben Solo was still fourteen. Still complaining about tookas. Part of the past.

Murdered by Kylo Ren.

As he passed through the door, he heard the traitor call.

So soft, he almost missed the whisper.

"Dameron, wait…."

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END

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That is officially the finale. Thank you to everyone who kept up with the story up to this point, especially those who have been reviewing since the beginning. Your feedback was invaluable.

I still have all prompts saved for oneshots when my timeline permits. (Hey, there's still two movies ahead! Gotta be some time to squeeze in a few lil!Ben scenarios here and there.) ;) I will continue to collect prompts with the hopes of writing more about Ben and Poe in the future.

Again, thank you to all critics and reviewers. Your comments are my inspiration.

- Neocolai