Sorry for not uploading recently, I've been having a bit of writers block but I'm back with chapter 14! This chapter is one of my favourites so far! Thank you to everyone who is following this story, I hope you're all enjoying it so far. All mistakes are mine, enjoy.

———

Sunday night, 3 days after her final goodbyes to her friends and family, Rachel lay in her hospital bed, with Finn dozing in a chair by her side.

She took a deep breath and tried to fall back asleep, but she knew it was useless. She was wide awake. She squinted at the small clock on the opposite wall, which gave her an instant headache, and was just about able to make out the time. 2:37 am, fantastic she thought to herself, I'll be wide awake all night.

Finn had fallen asleep holding her hand, and although his grip had slightly loosened, their fingers were still intertwined with one another.

This is what I'll miss most. She thought to herself. Moments where she could feel how much Finn loved her by simply holding her hand.

Finn has been exhausted these last few days, so Rachel loved the rare moments where she caught him looking so peaceful, so young.

He began shifting uncomfortably in the chair until his eyes slowly opened, blinking a few times before realising Rachel was awake.

"Rach, are you ok? Why are you awake?"

She shrugged. "I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm fine, go back to sleep. You're exhausted." She stroked his cheek as she spoke, wanting to hold onto him forever.

He shook his head and sat up in the chair. The due date was one week away, so Finn was trying to make the most of every moment he had left with her.

"Can we talk? There just some things on my mind and I, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I never said anything. Nothing scary, I promise." She reassured him once she saw the panic in his face.

Finn's heart began racing. He remembered watching 'The Fault in our Stars', and Hazel spoke about the last good day. Is this our last good day? Our last good talk?

"Sure, go ahead." He whispered as he dragged his chair a little closer to her bed.

"I know the due date isn't far away, but I think we both know we don't have that long. It might happen tomorrow, or in an hour, so I just need you to know that.."

She paused and closed her eyes.

"I hate myself for having to leave. The thought of you, on your own with the baby. Yes, of course everyone will help you, but at the end of the day it's the two of you, and that kills me. I'm not ready to go. I don't want to leave you. I love you so much, Finn. I don't think I tell you that enough."

Finn's eyes began to sting with tears as he tried to take in what Rachel was saying. The one thing he wouldn't allow himself to do was get upset in front of Rachel. With everything going on the last thing she needed was a crying husband. He had an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach and a small voice in the back of his head constantly reminding him they were drawing closer to the end. But hearing Rachel spill her thoughts, something which she had done a million times over the years, was surreal.

"You're perfect, Finn. Never change. You have constantly put me and my needs first through all this and have been drowning out your own thoughts and emotions, you can only stay strong for so long. And don't even bother denying it because I can see right through you." She laughed.

"You're completely selfless, even before everything became complicated, I was always your number one priority. In high school when you would listen to my rants which mainly consisted of me complaining about not getting a solo. In college, even when we were broken up, you'd still call me after I had a big audition to see how I was feeling."

She took a deep breath and allowed silent tears to fall down her cheeks. She knew she was rambling, but she wanted Finn to know everything that was going on inside her head. They needed closure, even if it was just Rachel thinking out loud.

"I used to think I was this loser, always on the outside looking in, constantly praying someone would notice me. Not just for my voice, but for who I actually was as a person. All I wanted was for someone to love and care about me. I'm only realising now that somebody loved me all along. Whether we were together or not, looking back now, I realise you have always been there for me. You have always loved me. When I thought I had no one, I had you. I'm so sorry I didn't realise that sooner."

Finn stayed silent. She was right, even before they properly met in glee club, when he saw her in the school halls, he couldn't help but look back behind him as he caught another glimpse of the brunette walking away. Even when he was with Quinn, he knew that he and Rachel had a bond like no other.

"You are my soulmate, Finn Hudson. You have have been, and always will be. We've gone through some real shit over the last few months, and sure, it was sad. But the most devastating moment of my life hasn't happened yet. It will be the last time I see your face. That will break me." She sniffed and dried her eyes with the sleeve of her pyjamas. "All this crap we've had to deal with, this is such a small part of our lives. When you look back on my life in a month, a year, I don't want you to remember the hospital visits. I want you to remember everything before that. All the fights, the tears, the duets, its all lead to this." She gestured to her stomach. "You get to move on and create new memories with our baby girl. I may not be there, but I can't wait to see what the future holds for the two of you."

"Rachel..." Finn began, but couldn't find the right words to say. Although neither one of them had said it, this was their goodbye.

"I'm going to miss you every single second of every single day for the rest of my life. But I can't live with myself knowing you're leaving us hating yourself. You have fought through so many hard times all you're life, you've fought even harder over these last few months. The thought of you leaving, still fighting with nobody but yourself, over something you cannot control. That kills me. Rach, you have been so tough, so brave all your life. You shouldn't have to fight anymore. You get to be free."

Rachel wiped her tears and smiled, while looking into Finn's eyes.

"You've always known how to make me feel better, Finn Hudson. Thank you."

He returned the smile. If this is our last good day, it was a pretty damn good one.

"Thank you, for letting me love you." He whispered. He could hear the crack in his voice as he spoke, but he didn't care anymore. They loved each other, and this was the end, so for the first time since hearing that dreadful word escape from the doctors mouth all those months ago, he got out of the chair and joined Rachel on the bed and cried. He held her tightly in his arms, his tears landing on her head, and wished that he could never let go.

———

3 hours after her daughter was born, Rachel's body gave up. Her last sight was her beloved Finn, holding her hand in his, sobbing as he watched his beautiful wife fade away.

This is it. My time is up.

"I love you." Rachel breathed as her hand became a deadweight in his.

"No." He sobbed as he buried this head in her hand.

And that was the last moment he ever spent with her.

——-

She had always thought your life flashed before you eyes as you passed away. But as Rachel took her last breath, she felt an emptiness inside her heart. She could feel tears streaming down her face. She couldn't make out her surroundings. Everything was blank. Suddenly, she could see her hospital room, where her corpse lay, with a team of doctors surrounding it.

"I'm gone." She whispered over and over to herself.

She could see Finn in the corner. He was crying silent tears, looking faint.

The baby was no where in sight.

"I'm sorry for leaving." She whispered.

"I'm sorry for not being able to fight anymore. I'm sorry for leaving you to raise her all by yourself. I'm sorry for not being with you. I'm sorry, Finn."

Finn's face broke her heart all over again once she caught another glimpse at him. It wasn't her Finn. The frightened, devastated look on his reminded her of the scared little boy she had once known.

"Stay strong, Finn. Don't lose yourself because you lost me."