I'm not 100% happy with this chapter, but at the same time I think it's quite sweet. Does that make sense? I'm not sure, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway! I'm a little stuck for ideas on this story at the moment so might focus on my other one for a bit (I promise not to leave this one for as long as I did the last time!) Anyway, all mistakes are mine, enjoy:)

Santana awoke with a start the morning after the funeral. She and Brittany both stayed at their parents house, so she felt alone as she adjusted to the light escaping in through the curtains.

She didn't bother to shower, instead just heading straight down stairs following the smell of her moms cooking.

"Buenos dia mija." Her father greeted her softly, planting a kiss on her head as she sat down at the table.

"How are you feeling?" Her mom asked, placing a plate filled with toast, mushrooms, tomatoes and scrambled eggs in front of her. If it hadn't been for her mom forcing food down her throat for the past few days, she probably would have forgotten to feed herself.

"Fine. Still sad." She answered quietly before digging into the food. Her mom watched her with worried eyes as her father busied himself with the dishes.

"How long are you planning on staying at home for, mija? There's no rush. Dad and I completely understand if you need to stay here to get away from it all for a bit."

Santana smile gratefully at her mom. She really did have the best parents in the world. She knew if she told them she was moving back home for good they'd be her biggest cheerleaders.

"I was talking to Sam yesterday and he mentioned something about planning a memorial in the school with Mr Shue. He was thinking next week but he wanted to check with Finn first but if it's cool with you and dad Britt and I probably won't bother going back to New York just to come back again next week."

"Of course. Your father and I were thinking of having Brittany and her family over for dinner. We haven't properly celebrated your engagement and we could light some candles in Rachel's honour."

"Maybe." She shrugged. She knew her parents meant well, but it didn't seem right to light a candle to honour her. Rachel deserved much more, and honestly Santana was still holding out hope of the past few days being a dream.

"Or, I was taking to the owner of the florist down the street about getting a flower display. Myself and some of your friends parents were thinking of going down to the council house to get permission to have some sort of place to remember Rachel."

Santana sat up straight as her mom continued talking. Lima was a pretty small town, and almost everyone knew Rachel. It would be nice to have a place of remembrance for her in the town.

Santana and Maribel began brainstorming ideas until Santana decided to go to Brittany's and fill her in.

She forced herself into the shower, applied mascara and lipgloss, pulled her hair into a ponytail before telling her mom she'd be back in a while.

As she got ready to go to Brittany's, she couldn't get Finn and Gracie off her mind. She hadn't seen Finn since speaking to him in the bathroom the previous day, so had a feeling he disappeared shortly after.

Anyone and everyone that had ever come in contact with Rachel seemed to show up. She even saw Ms July, to whom she gave a slight cold shoulder. She knew it was childish, but she felt drained and angry. She gave Brody a similar look before meeting Kurt's eye from a few meters away. He was giving her an 'are you serious right now?' stare, which she couldn't get her head around. Rachel hated Brody, Finn hated Brody, Kurt hated Brody. She despised him, so couldn't figure out why Kurt was giving her a look. In the end she gave in and threw him a polite-ish nod. He wasn't getting away that easily.

Yet the hardest part was also the best part of the day. She had been talking to Quinn when she noticed Finn subtly sneaking away from the grieving crowd towards the bathroom. Kurt began walking in the same direction just moments later, so Santana decided to join him. He warned her before entering that he wanted to talk to Finn alone, which she didn't question. Finn had been gravitating towards Kurt more and more since Rachel's death. She was jealous, but knew they had that brotherly bond that Finn couldn't recreate with anyone else.

Holding Gracie in her arms, that's what hurt her the most. That this tiny, helpless baby would grow up in a world without a mother. Rachel never got a chance to bond with her daughter, or even hold her for longer than five minutes. The thought made Santana sick, but also eternally grateful that Gracie got here happy and healthy.

She stepped into her front garden and took a deep breath of fresh air. Her eyes were drawn to a white envelope sitting on her doormat, addressed to her in Rachel's handwriting.

Santana picked up the envelope, staring at it for a few minutes before ripping through the seal. Either this was a sick joke, or Rachel mailed her something to her parents house before she died and it turned up late?

As she opened the envelope she revealed a piece of paper filled back and front in Rachel's writing. Her initial thought was to go to Finn, but curiosity got the better of her as she began reading.

Dear Santana,

Surprise! You're now in on my little secret.

Ever since we got the news that I was sick, I knew I didn't have long left to do something that would have an impact on my daughters life. I think we all knew the chances of me pulling through were slim, so I came up with the idea to write letters.

Technically you already got one. The day of the goodbyes, but it wasn't a surprise like this. It's genius, right!

You've had such a huge impact on my life, whether you knew it or not. You transformed from not so much a bully, but someone who was way above me on the social pyramid, to someone I'd consider an older sister figure. How many people are lucky enough to encounter someone like that?

I could write a book about what a great person you are, but I'm going to stick to your best qualities. You're strong, independent, smart, yet you're also sweet, caring and loyal. Qualities that should be admired.

I have no doubt that you'll play a huge role in my baby girls life, but I need to ask you an extra favour...

She's going to grow up without a mom. I can't predict the future, Finn may re marry and she may eventually have a stepmother, but you're the female role model that I'd love my daughter to look up to.

If it's not too much to ask, Sanny, just be there. Help her choose her wedding dress. Teach her what to do when she gets her period. Teach her to be brave, but that it's okay to show emotion and to let your guard down.

I don't know what kind of person my baby will be, but if she turns out half as amazing as you, I know she'll be a pretty great person.

I know you must be hurting, whilst writing this I'm still pretty early on in my pregnancy, but I'm already hurting too. The thought of being without you all is heartbreaking. I think I'm just rambling now, but as we once sang in glee club, keeping holding on. I'm here, maybe not in person, but I'm with you. I love you.

Until the next one,

Rachel x

Although tears rolled down Santana's cheeks as she read the letter, it was the happiest she has been in a while. Reading something Rachel had written especially for her, she could almost feel Rachel standing beside her, reading the letter aloud in her annoyingly perky voice.

She hugged the letter against her chest, causing her to receive an odd look from a man walking by. She didn't care if she looked like a psycho. She didn't care if hugging the letter sounded like something out of a cheesy movie. Right there in that moment, nothing else matter except the fact that she could feel Rachel with her.

"Thanks Rach." She whispered before neatly folding the letter and placing in on her pocket and continuing her journey to Brittany's feeling less alone.