Author's note:
Set during "GA-S2-E06" "Into You Like A Train" and canon-divergent AU from there.
bobbiejelly
Build It Better
"Ow," you say as you try to insert your banana bag into your arm, which sounds vaguely dirty, but you know it actually isn't.
You really probably shouldn't have had half a bottle last night, or maybe it's still tonight, or tomorrow, either way, you're not certain, but you're certainly not uncertain you shouldn't have had eighteen shots of tequila at Joe's all at once.
You'd earned those though; seeing as your ex-boyfriend didn't come to get you and abandon his incredibly hot and leggy and fabulous wife for you.
Right.
You see, you know you're a vapid narcissist when you've had too many, but this is a whole other level of pathetic.
You see her walk down the hall when you walk into the hospital and you can't help but confirm in your head she really does look even better than Isabella Rosellini.
Even in those salmon-colored scrubs that suit her somehow so well.
The other day she came up to you, and whispered practically into your ear, "I don't want somebody who doesn't want me, Meredith…" And she was talking about Derek, and you were talking about Derek, but somewhere along the way, you started thinking about Addison.
You're not sure when you started thinking about her so much but you do.
You think about her all the time, how she walks, how she talks, how she carries herself.
You originally thought it was just jealousy, but now you think it's something else, because you obsess over her.
In your drunken state, you want to talk to her again, to comfort her, or have her comfort you. You see McDreamy as the enemy because he showed up late, or for you at least, hardly at all.
And at this point, you've had enough of people not showing up for you.
Your mother was hardly home, your father walked out of your life when you were five.
You know people care about you when they show up for you, and for now, you realize that that can't be said for Derek.
So now you're waiting for Addison secretly, because at least she's not a liar to you. So when Izzie shows up with an IV inserter you swat her away about ask for the other 'Doctor Shepherd,'.
"But I thought you were done with him?" Izzie asks innocently.
"Not him, I mean her. I want Addison, even if I think she's Satan's mistress or something."
"You want Derek's wife to come by?" Izzie asks you speculatively.
"Yeah, I mean, like no offense Izzie, but she's an Attending and you're just an intern, and I bet she'd be really great at putting my banana bag inside me," you ramble.
"Umm, Mer, that sounded kinda…" Izzie shifts uncomfortably.
"Kinky?" You offer.
"Umm," Izzie bites her lip.
"Yeah., It's kinda kinky. Whatever. I'm into kinky…" You offer.
Oof, you really are honest when you are drunk, aren't you?
"Umm, I'm going to walk away now…" you smile and laughs a little.
"Ooh! Send Addison over! Red rover, red rover!" You call out after her, and Izzie just laughs.
"Dr. Grey, it seems you've requested me?" Addison asks you when she finally materializes before you.
"Addison!" You exclaim happily.
"So… What am I here for?" Addison asks you suspiciously.
"For me!" You say too excitedly.
"For… you?" Addison squints at you.
"Yeah," you say a bit shyly and blush and then look away.
"Umm?" Addison asks you.
"Addison…" You start out. "Were you serious about asking Derek and I for a threesome the other day? Because I bet you would be reallyyyyyyy good at a threesome," you blurt out.
"Dr. Grey, are you intoxicated?" Addison asks you sweetly.
"Extremely."
"Right."
"Are you?" You ask her, and she chuckles at you because she's at work so clearly she's not as drunk as you are, if at all.
"No, Dr. Grey, I am not drunk but you appear to be," confirms Addison.
"Good diagnosis!" You offer.
"So… What am I here for, exactly?" Addison asks you.
"Can you put my banana into my bag?" You ask her.
"Huh?" Addison asks you.
"I mean, can you put my bag into my banana?" You try again.
"What?" Addison asks again.
"Addisonnnnnn," you whine at her. "Can you put my banana bag inside me?" You point vehemently at it, and Addison finally gets you.
"Oh… Oh!" Addison realizes what you're gesturing and she shakes at her affectionately.
"Sooooooo, about my banana?" You wave your hands all around now.
"Yes, Dr. Grey, I may insert your IV into your arm," Addison nods at you and motions for you to pull your sleeve down.
You do this, and then you start to keep pulling your whole top down because you're drunken brain seems to think you have a chance at something more here.
"That's far enough," Addison says gently but abruptly.
"But Addisonnnnnnnn," you whine at her.
"Yes, Dr. Grey," Addison sighs, but she's still smiling.
"But I want you to-" You start to tell her in a whisper-shout, but she cuts you off with a hand gently over your mouth.
"Meredith, I'm going to stop you right there before you say something you'll later regret," she offers.
"What?" You protest. "But I wanna-" you try to continue, but Addison's still got her hand there.
"See, all done now," Addison points to your arm and shows you that your IC is now in with your banana bag fimly attached to you.
"Addison?" You ask her, suddenly serious.
"Yes, Grey?" Addison asks patiently, smiling endearingly at you.
"You're the best at bananas," you offer.
"Thanks, Grey," Addison chuckles again.
"You're welcome, Addison," you smile widely.
"Addison?" You ask her, as she almost turns away from you.
"Yes?" Addison responds.
"Could you…?" You flail around wildly, wondering what you could possibly ask her in your drunken stupor for her to not go away from you right away.
"Could I…?" Addison asks you skeptically.'
"Could you kiss it better?" You finally blurt out, pointing to the spot where the IV inserter pricked you.
"Meredith…" Addison looks at you soothingly.
"Please?" You beg her, and you want to rant at her even more than you ranted at Derek the other night.
"Meredith, you're drunk," Addison sighs at you.
"But it hurts!" You protest.
"I know," Addison offers you a sad smile, and you know that she gets it.
"It hurts, and it's painful, and I just wanna feel better…" You sigh.
"I'm sorry," says Addison, and you realize she's not just talking about your IV bag or hangover. It's the first time that he's said it to you like this, and you know that it's more than just a fleeting apology.
"Addison?" You ask her, and beyond all belief, she turns around again.
"Yes?" You can tell she's really trying to get going, but yet she's still here talking to you.
"Are you hurting too?" You offer, motioning for her to join you if she wants to.
Addison doesn't answer you yet, instead, she turns away and shakes her head and you can hear her heels click away, and you realize you're more disappointed about her walking away from you than when Derek didn't walk towards you.
She avoids you until you're finally sober, and then, when you see her she's sitting outside of the patient's room crying where she probably doesn't think anyone can see her, but you do.
"Addison?" You ask her gently.
"Meredith…" Addison shifts nervously, but then relaxes as you approach her.
"Umm… Do you want me to kiss it better?" You blurt out because you have absolutely no idea what else to offer her.
Addison laughs aloud at your proposition before she leans her head back against the wall and bursts into tears again.
"Are you okay?" You ask her.
"No, I'm not," she finally admits to you.
"Me neither," you sigh.
"Yeah?" She asks you.
"Do you want me to…" You wonder what she's going to say when she starts smirking at you and laughing uncontrollably.
"What…?" You ask nervously.
"Do you want me to put your banana bag inside of you perhaps?" She starts laughing again, and you flush with embarrassment at her memory of your intoxication.
"Oh goodness," you giggle, and you finally both start to feel a little better.
Her laughter rings out, and yours does also.
"How about I offer you some hot cocoa instead?" You say sweetly, suddenly incredibly nervous she won't say yes.
"That sounds lovely, Meredith," Addison nods at you, and you smile as she starts to follow you.
"You know Meredith, back home we used to call hot cocoa 'juju,' isn't that something else? I kind of like it though…" Addison says as you go to get some hot chocolate from the coffee cart.
You walk and you talk and you have a hot beverage.
You find it funny you're having so much fun when you're sober, when with Derek you seem to only have the most fun when you're drunk.
You're so relieved you're over the initial hangover, and she seems relieved she's not all alone anymore.
You realize she came here to Seattle to make up with the one person who doesn't wanna talk to her anymore, and so you invite her to join your little posse.
"You really think it's a good idea for me to join you and your roommates to watch surgical tapes of your mother?" Addison asks you skeptically.
"Yeah," you say shyly.
"Okay," says Addison.
"Okay," you smile widely.
And then you realize she's smirking at you all over again. "What…?" You ask her nervously.
"Meredith…" Addison giggles.
"Just ah, you let me know if you ever need me to 'put your bag into your banana,' she offers.
"Oh, shut up, Addison!" You protest, reddening furiously.
"Make me, Grey!" Addison giggles.
"I think I will!" You move to lean into her, her expression unwavering.
When you do, and she reciprocates, you both taste like chocolate and cocoa, and it's the sweetest expression on her that you've ever seen.
***** FIN
Author's Note:
This is the most random fic from a rewatch, enjoy lol. Have a great one!
bobbiejelly