Chapter 2:

There was no sound in the room, excepting the 'tic tac' only perceptible by Monk, and he didn't seem to mind.

"Adrian." The silence was interrupted by Doctor Kroger's voice, sounding ever so patient. "I don't mean to pressure you, this is a safe environment, but… we've been here for half an hour and you've not answered me. I'll ask you one more time, and if you don't feel comfortable talking about it then we can refer to a different topic, does that sound okay for you?"

He doubted, with his eyes piercing the coffee table next to them he finally nodded and muttered. "Yes."

"You mentioned you haven't slept in three days… Do you know the reason?"

"…" He took his time, feeling nauseous, preparing himself to go through the uncomfortable conversation that was to come, even though he'd been preparing for it for three days already. "Yes."

"Would you like to share it with me," Dr. Kroger observed as Adrian tensed in his seat, clinging to the armchair. "Please?"

"No."

"Is this because of Trudy?" Dr. Kroger's skills to read through Adrian's physicality had improved with the years, and so he drew upon it. He watched as Adrian shifted in his seat, uncomfortable, it wasn't about Trudy, but she was somehow involved. This was no surprise, Trudy always was.

"Listen, Adrian. I know whatever is bothering you must be hard to talk about, but it is clear to me that it has to deal with intrusive thoughts, so being the case perhaps you would feel more comfortable talking about this with someone closer to you? Perhaps a friend, Leland or Natalie may be easy to op-"

"No!" Doctor Kroger glared up at Adrian, he had jumped from almost hiding between the cushions to a completely defensive attitude. His hands up as if he was being accused and eyes darting to him, though his body was still facing the coffee table.

"… Alright, then… What about you tell me what we should talk about? Is there anything you would feel more open to discuss?" He's known Adrian over ten years, he was sure that not mattering the topic at hand Adrian would sooner or later betray himself by commenting on something related to his real concerns, a slave to his obsessions he couldn't think of anything else till solved, Dr. Kroger just had to wait.

"… There is this…" Adrian stopped, thinking his words, trying to be cautious. "-thing." He stopped to look at Doctor Kroger, who acknowledged him with a nod. "Sharona left me."

As a professional he was used to the frustration of walking two steps forward and one step back, but this…? It has taken months for Adrian to overcome Sharona's departure only to be caught up in it once again.

"That was years ago, Adrian… And you know it was not your fault."

"Yes, but… what if it was my fault? I mean… You know me, Dr. Kroger, I can be difficult to deal with sometimes."

'Sometimes'.

"Are you afraid Natalie might be thinking in leaving you? Did something happen?"

"What? No! Of course-" Adrian smiled with anxiety while covering his mouth and nodding feverishly, completely avoiding to face the man next to him. That is how the doctor knew that was all about. "Of course not. Nothing happened, why would you say something happened? Nothing has happened. No."

"Did you and Natalie have a fight over something…? Now that you mention it I didn't see her in the waiting room."

"I… I gave her the day off."

Now that was weird. Adrian was reluctant to give Natalie any breaks, not to mention a complete day.

"How nice of you, Adrian. I am sure Natalie had really important things to do, if she asked you for a day off."

"No… She didn't." Dr. Kroger tensed, if Adrian was having problems with Natalie it would immediately ricochet to him. Every time Adrian collapsed it was up to him to fix him and he was running out of will, patience and energy. "I… I just felt like spending some time…"

"Alone?"

"Yes."

"And… how are you feeling about it?"

"Miserable." His hands closed together in his lap. "As usual."

"Listen, Adrian, we both know sometimes company can be a bit… overwhelming." Monk glared at him, aware he was talking about himself being too annoying to be around. "But Natalie actually enjoys your company, or at least that is what I've appreciated, so unless something has actually happened, I don't see a reason for her to quit the job."

"What if… what if something happened but she just doesn't know…yet?" The doctor squinted his eyes, what was Monk hiding?

"I think it would depend on what it is… but, if it is something important, I am sure she would like to know."

"What if- What if it's not? What if it is something mundane? Something that wouldn't really physically hurt anyone? She doesn't need to know… right?" Doctor Kroger took a deep breath, being Adrian's moral guide was hard sometimes because he was sure Monk knew what he had to do, but didn't really want to. And when it came to Natalie he always seemed to put her needs second. In any case, he couldn't say or do anything because before he could organize the ideas in his mind he got interrupted, "Thank you, doctor, I am feeling much better now, you are right, she doesn't need to know, no one is hurt, this session was great."

He was already on his way to the door.

"Adrian, wait, we still have ten minutes left, and you know I don't-"

"Oh, I know, it's okay, I'll pay for those extra ten minutes, I mean… it's a perfect ten, I'm willing to, bye, have a nice… life!" And he left, so tense in the shoulders that the doctor was sure he could've simply crash through the wall and suffer no damage.

Whatever it was, it was bad. He wondered if it to call Natalie or the Captain, but finally decided not to, at least not yet.

Adrian got home almost dragging his feet because of how tired he felt. He had no idea how longer he could go with no sleep but he was willing to try. Every time he closed his eyes Natalie was there, it was not the first time, of course, he's dreamed of her a couple times before, but never like this… not with her fair skin exposed, so he could analyze every part looking for something, he didn't even know what yet, and he was determined to actually never find out. He's spent his nights squirming in guilt and misery, not just for Natalie, but for his beloved wife Trudy, what was happening to him?

His keys tingled in his hands, but the moment he was to turn them around he noticed… the door was already open.

Just who…? Was he being robbed? He reached to immediately call Natalie, and then retreat back. Making an effort to be silent he entered his own house, looking for signs of intrusion. Then, on top of the table next to the door he saw it; Natalie's keychain. He sighed heavily and closed the door behind him.

"Natalie?"

"Oh, Mr. Monk!" Her head appeared through the frame of his living room, and he felt dizzy once again, that was the exact view he had had days ago. "You got home early!" The rest of her body followed her and she went to greet him, causing him to step back. The woman stopped and frowned at him, that was new. "I washed my hands, I promise!"

"Natalie, what are you doing here? I told you not to come, are you-are you working extra hours so I pay you double or something?" Natalie answered him with a half smile, ever so cheap.

"I know, Mr. Monk. I am not here as your assistant, I am here as your friend."

"My what? Friends don't break into other friends' houses."

"I didn't break into, I used my key." Her hands crossed against her chest. "I enjoyed my day with Julie, we went to the zoo, and well… we heard something really interesting about one of the animals, and we thought it would be a fun fact for you… but hey! If you had plans, you can tell me, we can go have dinner somewhere else, dealer's choice."

Adrian was extremely confused about everything said.

"… Who is the dealer? What are you talking about?" Natalie laughed, and Adrian looked as small wrinkles appeared around her eyes, meaning it was an honest smile. There was a knot in his chest, maybe Dr. Kroger was right and Natalie did enjoy his company.

"My mom is asking you if you want us to leave, Mr. Monk." Julie had appeared from the living room. "She is preparing dinner, but I guess we could re-heat it at home." Monk was oblivious to female manipulation, so he couldn't care less for that comment.

"So… What do you say?"

Adrian stared at Julie with his mouth half open; there she was, kind and affectionate as always. Perfectly dressed, he told himself. Finally deciding it could be for the best.

"… Alright." Natalie clapped her hands in pretended excitement while making a sharp sound.

"Julie, why don't you show Mr. Monk what you brought him while I finish dinner?" They both looked as Natalie marched to the kitchen with her high heels.

Minutes later Adrian was sitting in his armchair, with his eyes closed waiting for Julie to give him some kind of present. Which he really didn't want, it only meant a compromise for him, now he would have to get them something for Christmas.

"So, my mom and I went to the zoo today and there was this guide that told us all kind of fun facts about animals, and there was this one that reminded us of you. Bet you can't guess which one it is."

"A monkey." His eyes still closed, slightly annoyed. She giggled.

"No, try again."

Sigh.

"Are you sure it is not a monkey? Because that is the closest animal to the-"

"Open your eyes."

He did as he was told and beheld how Julie was holding some kind of small toy pig. He felt insulted at many levels.

"… A pig?" His voice almost cracked, breathless.

"Yes!" She handed it over to him, really excited about her own gesture. "Did you know that pigs are one of the cleanest animals in the world?"

"… I'm not sure we are talking about the same animal here."

"Yes! They refuse to go to the bathroom in the same place as they eat and also they don't sweat! I know how much you hate sweat! I wanted to get you a real pig as a pet, but my mom told me baby steps, so… I bought you this. You see? It is clean, I polished it myself!" Adrian could tell how proud Julie was of her own gift, he could tell, he knew, but even so… it was too much. He was about to reject it when his eyes drifted to Natalie in the kitchen holding a knife in a really menacing way.

"It is… thank you, I-I'll keep it… here." He placed it with difficulty in the coffee table; he could get rid of it later. At least this one didn't have any catchy song.

"I knew you would like it! Most people think pigs are disgusting, but I think they are actually adorable, you know? They are really smart animals, like you!" She stopped for a minute, only to add with a spark to her eyes "Mom likes them, too."

Monk remained in his place, uncomfortable with the gift, Julie's proximity, Natalie in the kitchen, his own thoughts and especially the idea of him being compared to a pig. He tried to focus his attention on the gift on the table or even in Julie still mumbling something about the zoo, but his eyes continued to drift to Natalie, visible at times. He felt sick, but… now that he knew there was something about Natalie, he couldn't shake the feeling off of being so close to the truth, if only he could, somehow, get to see her once again, perhaps-

"Mr. Monk." Julie was whispering to his ear, which startled him, that was way too close. "Can I ask you something?"

He moved back, but understood by Julie's face that whatever she wanted to ask was supposed to be secret and not to be said aloud, so he remained close enough to listen.

"Is my mom dirty?"

The man almost chocked with his own saliva. His head moved from the kitchen to Julie and then again a couple times, completely confused.

"Why would you ask that? I don't know, is she? For God's sake, Julie, she is preparing food! You should've told me that sooner."

"Well, you keep staring at her; you've been doing it for two days." Monk wanted to kill himself, his heart bumping in his ears. "Yesterday I caught you doing that thing…" Her hands started moving slowly around, imitating his way of solving crimes. "- to her while she was not looking, so… Is she dirty and nagging you or did she kill someone?" Her eyes got back the spark from minutes ago and she wrinkled her nose as she smirked, "or maybe you just noticed how pretty my mom is."

"Julie!" His pitch high, the same tone he'd use to scold Natalie.

"Did something happen?" Worried for the scream, Natalie had gotten out the kitchen to ask. "Are you bullying Mr. Monk? You know he gets uncomfortable when a person is too close."

"Sorry, mom." Julie moved away, Natalie threw her hands to the air and then back to the kitchen.

"Mr. Monk." She waited for him to look her way. "You are blushing." She giggled.

"No, I'm not." But he was.

And yet, once again, Monk couldn't sleep. He found himself rolling around in his bed, squirming and trying to find a position that would take all those thoughts away even when he knew there was no way. He was so tired, the last time he had gone through this was because of the woman who happened to have Trudy's eyes. Was there any chance that Natalie had any other part of Trudy that he didn't know about? No… that wouldn't be possible, she would've told him for sure.

Many ideas had crossed his mind through the days, Natalie having Trudy's left kidney, maybe she had a mole in one of her breasts and in one only, perhaps her spine was slightly crooked or curved, or maybe even a scar, appendicitis could be responsible for his misery, it made perfect sense.

If only he knew, that was all he needed, to know. He was –almost- sure he could continue to live –almost- happy next to Natalie with her body not being exactly perfect (as he had thought it to be), but he needed to know why. What if it was something serious? What if he had seen something actually important but his anxieties didn't mind registering it because of her nudity? Some sign of sickness? He damned himself once again, this… this thing he had was for sure a gift and a curse.

He reminded himself he was a detective, that he could get the info he needed so badly one way or another, but how…? Because asking Natalie to show her was clearly not an option, as a matter of fact he had started to worry that with Natalie being his employee, she could already present a sexual harassment complain. If he were to ask her to take her clothes off for him to 'take a good look' that could easily take him to the police station.

Maybe Julie was right, maybe he was a pig.