Chapter 20: His Sorrow

"Athrun?"

He turned away from the small window that he was looking out of and met Cagalli's worried eyes. Athrun immediately averted his gaze and went back to watching the sun set over the plethora of buildings in the distance. His expression: forlorn.

Cagalli observed him before speaking.

"I've been looking for you all over."

He looked at her, shocked. She moved closer to him, joining him in staring out of the small window.

"I didn't know if you would be up here, but I'm glad I checked—glad that I found you."

As she stared out the window, Athrun watched her. Unlike his, her eyes—reminiscent of the sun—were warm, and she carried a small smile.

"Here," she said, holding out a red and yellow, striped scarf. "You had left it in history. Can't go home without it; it's way too cold."

"Thanks," he said, taking it and wrapping it around his shoulders.

Cagalli frowned. "Athrun, what's the matter?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been gloomy all day and have been MIA most of the day. I even asked Nicol about it and he told me that today wasn't a good day for you. Why?"

Athrun sighed and leaned his head against the window pane.

"Nicol would be the only one to know," he said.

"Know what?"

"That I have been counting the months. It's been four full months." He returned to looking out of the window.

"Four months? Four months since…" she gasped.

Cagalli realized that four months ago, on August 6th, Zodiac Alliance was mysteriously attacked. Of course it would be hard for him. He had to leave his home—probably on his parents' wishes rather than his own—to attend a new school in a city foreign to him.

"You've been counting?" Cagalli said in monotone.

She wondered why. Was he counting the days he had left? Would he be transferring, would he be going back home—going to a school in the city Junius? Was this all temporary? Would she see him again after winter break?

Cagalli placed her hand to her chest. She could feel the palpitations through her shirt.

"Yes," Athrun said. He paused and paused for such a long moment that Cagalli could feel herself going mad from the suspension. "I have been counting how many months it has been since I lost my mother."

Cagalli clasped her mouth with both of her hands. She watched Athrun with shaky eyes. She watched as his face remained calm even though tears rushed down his cheeks. She wanted to reach out and wipe his eyes, but she couldn't move. She knew it would hurt too much.

"My mother…" he sniffed. "She was a counselor. She was there at the time of the—"

He didn't expect it; Cagalli had swiftly wrapped her arms around his torso in a tight embrace. It shocked him further when he felt her body tremble against his, and—where her face was buried—his shirt became wet. He was stiff for a while, but eventually he wrapped his arms around her as well. His head fell atop of hers and he wept into her hair.

They were a few blocks away from the school. The sky was dark, and the wind was much chillier than it had been that morning. Cagalli shivered in her buttoned-up letterman jacket. Athrun stopped in front of her and wrapped his scarf around her neck.

"I should be the one walking you home," he said as he tied the scarf into a loose knot.

"It's too far of a walk," she said. "I'll call for a ride once we reach your building."

Once Athrun finished with the scarf, she looked up at him, and he noticed that her eyes were red and swollen. He frowned.

"You were crying for me," he said. "Why? You cried as if it happened to you."

Cagalli folded her arms and scowled at him.

"We're friends, aren't we?" she said. "Even if we weren't, I still would've cried. But, because it was you, it felt ten times worse. What happened was sad and I can only imagine how you feel."

"Cagalli…"

"I don't want you to hurt, Athrun. I also know there is nothing I can do about it," she looked down. "But…enjoy what is left of your life. A big part of your life has been taken from you, so you definitely have to cherish all that remains. Cherish with all of your heart." She paused. "Cherish your father. He's still here."

Cagalli looked away and began to walk ahead of him. But, before she did, Athrun had noticed that her eyes were once again filled with tears.

AQ: What's your opinion on the "harem" Athrun had in SEED Destiny?