We Pretend It's Alright
Chapter Eleven
Dawn of the Night Part III
AN: (By the way, adjusted the timeline slightly in the last two chapters so now at the beginning of this Chapter, it has been almost 6 months since Ahsoka left the order, and around 8 months until we catch up with the present timeline. Thanks and enjoy!)
We Pretend It's Alright
(A few days later)
"Do you want another egg?" Ahsoka asked, before taking the last bite of her own. "I think I do."
Liolee furled her brow, looking down at Ahsoka, who was sitting on the floor on a pile of blankets leaning against the wall, her head tilted to the side.
"What?" Ahsoka asked, bemused, still eating.
"More?"
Ahsoka looked back at Liolee, raising an eyebrow. "Yes, as in more food." The Tortuga stated, not sure why she wasn't understanding.
"I am fine, thank you." Liolee said quietly, looking down at her plate.
"Are you sure, there's plenty left. I'm going to have more."
Liolee nodded, still looking down.
"You know, that if you wanted more food, you could have it, right?" Ahsoka said tentatively, not quite sure how to breach this matter. Liolee was used to a very different kind of life, a life that Ahsoka didn't know much about. "Here everyone participates in the community, and part of that is making sure everyone gets enough to eat. There are no rules on how much you are allowed to eat. Okay?"
Liolee looked up, with an expression Ahsoka couldn't read, but nodded. "I understand."
"Alright then." Ahsoka said with a shrug, getting to her feet and moving beside the bed where Liolee sat, a blanket around her shoulders. She noticed Liolee flinch when she stood up, but didn't address it. She supposed it was an old habit, one she was scared to ask about. "I'll be right back then. Do you want a biscuit or something, you barley ate."
"I-yes, thank you."Liolee said tentatively, looking up at Ahsoka, who beamed back.
"Coming right up!"
We Pretend It's Alright
(one month later)
"Do you want to come outside with me today?" Ahsoka asked casually as she flipped through a book, looking up at Liolee, who was sitting up in a meditative position, her eyes closed. Over the past month, they had developed a kind of relationship that Ahsoka couldn't really explain. They were something like friends, but not quite. Conversations weren't usually very long or deep and there was much they didn't know about one another. But they spent a considerable amount of their time together and Ahsoka noticed that Liolee had started to relax around in her presence, something that she did not do when she was around anyone else.
"Outside?" She asked, opening her eyes, and gazing warily back at Ahsoka. "What's outside?"
"Umm, some grass? Maybe a few trees or hills?" Ahsoka joked, smiling as she looked up at Liolee, who clearly did not get the joke. "It's just a nice day and I was going to go outside, maybe train or meditate or something. I just thought you might like to get out outside, get some fresh air."
"Okay."
"Okay as in, I want to go outside?"
"Yes." Liolee nodded, uncrossing her legs.
Ahsoka slowly got to her feet and walked over to the bed. "Do you think you can walk that far or…?"
Liolee seemed to consider this for a minute before answering. " I can walk."
"Here, let me help you up." Ahsoka wrapped her arm around Liolee's now healed shoulder, and slowly helped her stand up. Her leg that had been broken had mostly healed, but was still rather weak and in recovery.
"Okay," Ahsoka said, supporting Liolee's tiny frame. "We're going to head to the main doors, do you remember where those are?"
"By the cantina." Liolee responded and Ahsoka nodded. She had been slowly showing Liolee around the base, but Liolee mostly preferred to stay in the room. Ahsoka could tell she wasn't very comfortable around most of the crew, which she understood. They could be an imitating lot, especially for someone like Liolee, who had not had good experiences with men she had meet.
They began to walk, but after not having moved much that day, Liolee tripped at the door. This caused a loss of balance for both women, and a very quick catch on Ahsoka's part as Liolee started to fall.
"I'm so sorry." Liolee said at once, embarrassed, as she stared down at the ground, refusing to meet Ahsoka's gaze.
"It's okay!" Ahsoka said reassuringly. "This time, let's go a bit slower, okay?" Ahsoka laughed, as Liolee blushed. Very carefully, she helped the petite women regain her balance. Slowly but surely, they began to walk. Liolee leaned heavily on Ahsoka, who made sure they moved at a very slow pace, knowing how much of an exertion this was for her.
"Where are we?" Liolee asked as she looked around.
"We're on Hondo's new base, remember?"
"Yes, but where is that?" Liolee asked.
"Oh!" Ahsoka exclaimed, realizing what she meant. "We're on a planet called Lothal."
"Lothal?"
"Yeah, Lothal."
"What's it like?"
"Well, there are a lot of grasslands and hills. A lot of loth-cats and a few cities, but it's mostly small towns. It's an outer-rim planet."
"Is there any… water?"
"You mean like lakes or oceans?"
"Yeah."
"Umm, sure. Almost all planet have some form of naturally occurring water."
"Tattooine didn't."
A silence fell back over them as the continued down a series of halls that lead to the front doors. Truth be told, that had been one of their longer conversations. Liolee wasn't a big talker and Ahsoka didn't push her to talk that much, wanting the girl to feel comfortable around her.
Five minutes later, they walked out the front doors and into the sunlight. A gentle breeze blew across the endless grass fields in front of them, which seemed to stretch on forever. Ahsoka turned her head to Liolee.
"Where do you want to go?" She asked cheerfully, regarding her questioningly as Liolee returned her gaze with a puzzled look.
"What do you mean? I thought we were going outside?" She said, again not understanding what Ahsoka meant.
"I know, but there are a lot of places to go outside. I thought maybe there would be something you might want to see or something like that." Ahsoka chuckled, the smile finding its way back on her lips and she gazed at the woman resting against her shoulder.
"Oh." Liolee looked down for a minute, her face screwed up in thought. After a minute she looked back up, and answered, "Can we see water?"
"Sure! Water it is." Ahsoka said, pointing towards the ship bay. "We got to borrow a landspeeder, because I don't think we could walk all the way to the nearest lake." She said, leading Liolee towards the bay.
"Hey Jihn, can we borrow a landspeeder?" Ahsoka called out lazily as they entered the room of vehicles while Liolee looked around curiously.
"Yeah, whatever." Came the bored response from somewhere in within the hanger.
"Thanks!" Ahsoka called back with a laugh, shaking her head at Jihn's disinterest in where the ships where going or who was taking them. She lead Liolee over to the speeders. "Which one do you like?"
Liolee shrugged and Ahsoka nodded, a smile slipping back on her lips.
"How about this one?" She suggesting, pointing to a pale green two-seater that looked like an older model.
Liolee nodded, regarding the speeder. They slowly walked over to it, and Ahsoka gently helped her into the passenger's seat before climbing into driver's seat.
"Hold on, alright?"
Ahsoka fired up the engine and slowly backed out of spot the speeder was parked in before driving out of the garage, back onto the vast fields. "You okay?" She asked Liolee, wanting to make sure this wasn't too much for her. "Liolee?" She repeated when the girl didn't answer.
"I'm okay." Liolee answered quietly, turning her head slowly towards Ahsoka, with an expression the girl couldn't quite read.
"You sure?"
"Yes." Liolee gave her a small smile. Ahsoka nodded, trying to stop the smile that was widening on her face. That was the first time she had seen Liolee smile, however small it may had been. Maybe she wasn't doing such a bad job after all.
She started to drive west, knowing there was a rather large lake about fifteen minutes out. The wind whipped around them, the cool summer air just the perfect temperate. They rode in a comfortable silence as they zoomed over the grass lands. After a bit, the lake came into view on the horizon, and Ahsoka watched out of th corner of her eye as Liolee sat forward in her seat, staring mystified at the vast lake before them. Ahsoka pulled over under a large shady tree, and jumped out of the speeder.
"It's so big." Liolee murmured as she continued to gaze out at the shimmering water.
"You should see the Veldt Ocean on the southern half on Lothal, it's a thousand times the size of this." Ahsoka said, as she started to help Liolee out of her seat.
"Maybe we'll go see it someday." Liolee said absentmindedly as she leaned on the speeder, regaining her balance. Ahsoka smiled, watching Liolee and wondering if Liolee was feeling what she was right now.
"It's a date." Ahsoka joked, her smile widening as Liolee cracked a smile as well. "Come on, let's down to the shore." Ahsoka took a step forward and turned towards Liolee, holding out her hand. The sun blazed behind the young woman and she glowed in the backlight as she stood, holding out her hand to the other woman. She felt as drawn to the Liolee as Liolee felt to her, even though neither quite understood the feeling.
Liolee took a step forward and placed her hand into the hand outstretched to her, a smile still on her face as she returned Ahsoka's gaze with the same emotion that neither girl could quite place. Slowly, they walked down the to the beach, the sun reflecting above the water as the waves lazily rolled in and out.
"I like the sand here." Liolee murmured as she looked down at her feet buried in the warm sand. "It's softer, not so rough."
Ahsoka didn't say anything, knowing what Liolee was referring too. Anakin had always hated sand too. She simply gave the former slave's hand a squeeze as they walked towards the water. As the approached the shore line, Liolee drew closer to her, their arms touching. The sand became wet beneath their feet as they moved onto the shore and the next wave that rolled in soaked their feet. Liolee gasped as the cool water hit them and Ahsoka giggled at her response.
"You'd think you'd never been on a shore." Ahsoka joked, realizing to late she had made a mistake.
"I haven't since I lived on Ryloth." Liolee murmured, a far way look in her eyes as she stared down at the water that washed over their feet once again.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"
"It's okay." Liolee said quietly, giving Ahsoka small nod to reassure her. "Can we sit down here?" She asked genuinely and Ahsoka told her of course. They slowly sat down on the warm sand, their feet still within the water's reaches.
"I haven't been many places." Liolee said. "I was born on Ryloth and lived in a city there with my mother and brothers until I was six. I was taken from Ryloth in a roundup by bounty hunters, but my mother and brothers weren't home when it happened. I haven't seen them since. Liolee fell silent after that, staring out over the water.
"You miss them?" Ahsoka asked, watching Liolee curiously.
"Every day since I left."She answered simply. "I wonder about them, whether they still live in our old house, what they look like now. How couldn't i?"
"I understand." Ahsoka said as images of Anakin, Plo Koon, Padme, and everyone else she left behind flashed through her mind.
"Did you leave your family too?' Liolee asked.
"When I was very young, I lived on a planet called Shili. I don't remember my family, but I have memories of faces. The Jedi came and took me to the temple when I was two and I lived there from then on." Ahsoka explained. "As Jedi, we were taught not to form attachments, but it's hard not to. I lived with people my whole life and I grew close to some. When I left the Jedi, I left them too."
"Why did you leave?" Liolee asked, turning her head to look at Ahsoka
"It… it's a bit of a long story." Ahsoka sighed, closing her eyes.
"It's okay, you don't have to tell me." Liolee said, with a small smile, and Ahsoka looked up at her.
"No, it's not that I don't want you to know, it's just… it's hard to talk about."
"I understand, you don't-"
"No I want to, I do." Ahsoka said, turning and looking at Liolee, a fierce look in her eyes. "I want to tell you, because I want you to know about me, to know how I ended up here. Okay?"
"Okay." Liolee said, with a small smile.
Ahsoka returned the smile. "So, I guess I'll start at the beginning then."
We Pretend It's Alright
( 1 month later)
"How was your date?" Hondo asked playfully as he threw himself into the seat across from Ahsoka in one of the common rooms, waggling his eyebrows suggestively.
"Oh shut up." Ahsoka said, rolling her eyes and leaning over the table to punch him in the arm. "It wasn't a date."
"Yeah, and neither were the million other times you two have disappeared together." Hondo snorted, rubbing his arm as he smirked at her. "Just admit it, Tano! You're all over that girl and you know it."
"No I'm not." Ahsoka muttered a little too quickly.
"Whatever you tell yourself Tano, but I'm just saying, if you need some advice, I do have a certain charm with the ladies and I'd be more than happy to share my wisdom." He said with a wink, leaning back in his seat and folding his hands behind his head.
"I think I'm good Hondo, thanks." Ahsoka said with a laugh, looking back down at the book in her lap and shaking her head.
"Alright, your loss." Hondo shrugged, still grinning. "The Jedi really did a number on you. Anyway, we're leaving in two hours, you, me, Frogon, and a few others. Deal for a shipment of a new electro-field explosive prototype on Beris. We leave in ten minutes." Hondo explained shortly.
Ahsoka snorted as she got to her feet, tucking her book under her arm. "Well thanks for the heads up." She said sarcastically as she started to walk away. "I'll be in the bay in ten." She called over her shoulder.
"Going to go say good bye to your girlfriend?" Hondo called after her as she left the room.
"Not my girlfriend." Ahsoka muttered under her breath as she walked back to her room, knowing she would find Liolee there. Over the past two months, Ahsoka would like to believe that they had become friends. Liolee shared more about her past, especially about her family, and Ahsoka did as well. She could tell that Liolee was still slightly guarded around her, but what else would she expect after the way she had lived her whole life. But she thought that Liolee trusted her and that was something.
Ahsoka opened the door to her room to see Liolee sitting on the bed, her legs crossed as she looked down at the magazine in her lap.
"These stories are unbelievable." Liolee said, looking up as Ahsoka entered. "Is this really what the world is like on core planets?"
"Not where I was at least." Ahsoka supposed, walking over and standing next to Liolee. She looked down at the magazine and with a jolt saw a picture of Padme, with the caption Senator Amidala Pregnant?
"She's pregnant?" Ahsoka asked, pointing to the picture of Padme.
"It seems like a lot of guessing, but that's what the article said." Liolee shrugged, looking back at Ahsoka. "Why, do you know her?"
"Yeah, remember how I told you about Padme, the Senator?" She said, still gazing at the picture. "The one who was with Anakin?"
"Is that her?"
"Yeah." Ahsoka confirmed, a nauseous feeling growing in her stomach as she looked at the headline. "Anakin's going to be a father." Ahsoka murmured, still looking down. "What are they going to do?"
"They might not even be right, a lot of it seems like made up stories." Liolee said, looking curiously at Ahsoka. "Something wrong?"
"Yeah, it's just… I don't know? They were my family." Ahsoka said, her voice getting heavy. " Anakin and Padme, they were my family. It's just hard not being able to talk to them or see them."
"But why don't you?" Liolee said, turning to face Ahsoka. "Why don't you go visit them? What's stopping you?"
"I left." Ahsoka said simply, standing up and placing her hands behind her head. "I made the choice to leave, I can't go back now."
"Why not?" Liolee said, moving to the front of the bed and swinging her legs off the edge. "I'm sure they'd be happy to see you."
"I just can't go back, okay? I don't want to talk about it anymore." Ahsoka said with a sense of finality.
"Alright." Liolee said , turning back to the magazine.
"Where did you even get that?" Ahsoka asked, gesturing to the magazine.
"I got it when we went into that town today. Someone left it on a table in that café." She shrugged, looking down at the article she was reading.
"Ah, so you're a thief?" Ahsoka joked, sitting back down beside her.
"It was going to be thrown away." Liolee defended.
"Whatever you tell yourself." Ahsoka teased, smiling. "I'm actually about to leave." Ahsoka added after a minute.
"Where are you going?" Liolee asked curiously, turning to look at Ahsoka
"We're picking up a small shipment of weapons on a mid-rim planet, we should be back in a couple days." Ahsoka explained, sitting down on the bed next to Liolee. "Hondo just told me."
"A few days?" She repeated, something in her voice that Ahsoka couldn't quite read.
"Yeah, we have to pick up some cargo and then go drop it off on some mystery planet that Hondo won't tell me." Ahsoka explained.
Liolee said nothing for a minute, deep in thought.
"Well, I should probably get going." Ahsoka said, standing up. "You sure you'll be okay here by yourself?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Liolee said softly, a smile on her face as she stood up as well.
"Okay, well I'll see you in a few days." Ahsoka said, nodding to Liolee. Liolee pulled her into a hug unexpectedly just as she was about to leave. Ahsoka was shocked, but returned the hug nether the less.
"Ahsoka, thank you." Liolee said as they separated, emotion glittering in her white eyes.
"Think nothing of it." Ahsoka smiled.
"No, really, thank you." Liolee said again, still staring. "I owe you so much." Leaning forward, her lips brushed Ahsoka's cheek. "Goodbye." She murmured, pulling back and giving Ahsoka a small smile.
"Bye." Ahsoka repeated, somewhat in shock as she slowly backed away and out the door, not quite sure what had just happened. She walked back through the base and outside into the cool night air pulling on her hooded dark-grey cloak as she moved, still trying to understand what this meant. As she walked towards the hanger, she could see lights on inside and hear voices.
"Hey Jihn." Ahsoka called out as she walked in, her voice somewhat hoarse. She had come to know the garage quite well over the past few months, putting to use all the mechanic skills she had learned over the years.
"Orange One." Jihn's accented voice called back in greeting from somewhere in the bay, referring to her as he always did. "Hondo's by the Shade."
"Thanks." She called back, walking to the left half of the hanger where the ship they called Shade resided. "Hondo?" She called out, approaching the ship.
"Tano, perfect! I was about to send for you." Hondo said, walking around the other side of the small stealth cruiser. "Come on, Frogon's inside starting her up."
Twelve hours later, the three stood in a large warehouse, waiting for the Bounty hunters they were brokering with to show up.
"They're already ten minutes late." Ahsoka pointed out, her hands on her hips as she taped her foot impatiently. "What are they playing at?"
"Patience, it's all part of the game." Hondo said, his eyes darting around the room, a relaxed look on his face. "See, that's them." He added as the sound of approaching footsteps became audible. "My friends, so good to see you again!" Hondo exclaimed as six Bounty Hunters came into sight, one leading the bunch and two at the back guarding a small crate.
"Hondo Ohnaka." The leader said, the corner of his lip curling up as he stared down his nose at the pirates. "It's been a while."
"Too long Kaalin." Hondo said, grinning back at the Frenk. "I see you brought the whole crew, expecting trouble?"
"Can never be too careful." Kaalin said loosely, a hard glint in his eyes as he looked at Ahsoka and Frogon. "Now come on, let's get this over with."
"Always business with you." Hondo tutted, shaking his head at the man.
"I do have a schedule to keep even if you do not." Kaalin said lazily, his eyes narrowed. "Do you have the money or not?"
"Of course I do! What kind of a crook do you take me for?" Hondo said, grinning as he meandered over to Ahsoka and took the book full of credits from her. He walked to Kaalin and quickly popped the top of the case open to show him the contents. Kaalin nodded swiftly and motioned to the men with crate, who pulled it over to where the Hondo and Kaalin stood. Hondo pulled up the lid and peered inside. Closing it, he nodded to Kaalin, satisfied.
"Alright, then." Hondo said cheerfully, placing the box of credits on the ground and dramatically kicking it so it slid across the floor to Kaalin's feet as he grabbed the crate. "Till we meet again!"
"Always a pleasure, Hondo." Kaalin called out as his crew walked away from the three pirates.
"Come on, let's go." Hondo said, turning around and starting to walk back toward the other door of the warehouse. "Before they realize half of those credits are fake." He muttered, flashing a grin at Ahsoka, who rolled her eyes.
Once off the planet, Ahsoka kicked back in her chair, looking lazily out of the front wind-shield. She sat in the cockpit with Frogon and Hondo, the other three men hanging in the back of the ship.
"Are you going to tell me where we are going now?" She said, raising her eyebrows at Hondo, who was imputing the coordinates into the ship.
"Why would I do that?" He said with a wave of his hand, leaning back in his seat and kicking his feet up on the dash. "Takes all the fun out of a mystery location if I tell you what it is."
"I can just look at the coordinates. Come on, tell me!" She insisted.
"Fine, fine! Take all the fun out, why don't you." He mumbled without looking at her. "Next stop, Coruscant." He announced, shaking his head.
"I'm don't want to go to Coruscant." Ahsoka said at once
"Well, unless you want to jump out of the ship and suffocate in space, you're going to have to." Hondo shrugged, making a face at her as Frogon chuckled.
"Who are we even selling these too?" She asked, narrowing her eyes.
"Some crime lord or something, I don't really know." Hondo said inconsequentially.
"So were selling dangerous bombs to a crime organization on Coruscant? Where the Republic's government is located?"
"Yes, very different from what we usually do." Hondo said sarcastically, giving Ahsoka a look. "What about this do you not understand?"
"I understand I just… oh never mind!" Ahsoka huffed, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes at Hondo and Frogon's bemused expressions.
"What do you have against Coruscant?" Frogon asked.
"I have nothing against the planet, I just don't to run into anyone I used to know." Ahsoka said, looking down at the floor as she spoke.
"Got a lot of enemies or something?"
"Something like that." Ahsoka muttered, crossing her arms.
Frogon looked curiously at Hondo, who shook his head, casting a sideways glance at Ahsoka's brooding form.
"Trouble with your lady?" Hondo said, grinning michevously as Ahsoka gave him a look
"No." She said simply staring out the front window.
Hondo decided not to push the issue any further.
The next day they were almost at Coruscant, two days since they had left with a few stops here and there.
"So what's the plan?" Frogon asked as they exited hyperspace, Coruscant now looming right ahead of them.
"We're meeting them by some cantina- Scorpio's or something- on the 322nd level in the slum district. We'll hand off half the shipment there for a what should be full price and bring the rest back with us. Now, I'm going to be directly involved as.. well because I don't have too. So Frogon take the lead and Ahsoka be the muscle, the others will be around in case the deal goes south."
"Why do I have to be the muscle?" Ahsoka groaned, hanging upside down off her chair, a frown still on her face.
"Because you're acting like a brat." Hondo said, shaking his head at her antics. "Go divide up the explosives before we land."
Ahsoka said nothing but somersaulted backwards off the chair, landing on her feet and heading to the back of the ship muttering under her breath. By the time she finished dividing the explosives, she felt the soft thud of the ship and landing and headed back to the cockpit.
We Pretend It's Alright
"Come on, it wasn't that bad!" Hondo laughed as they walked off the ship into the garage, ignoring the protests that instantly went up around him.
"That's because you were safe on the ship!" Ahsoka said, others nodding in agreement. "You didn't almost get burned alive."
"The key word here is almost." Hondo said with a grin as Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "How was I supposed to know they were gonna fight with flamethrowers?"
"Next time, you're the muscle." Ahsoka said, poking Hondo in the chest. "I'm not getting burned to a crisp for some small deal with some hotshot new gang well you sit on your ass. And that was not a pun!" She called over her shoulder to the laughing group as she walked out of the garage.
She couldn't wait to see Liolee. The way they had left things, well she wasn't quite sure how they had left things, but she really wanted to find out. She quickened her pace as she approached the front entrance, l unable to resist. She had only been gone about three days, but the excitement drove her forward.
The ex-Jedi bounded into the building, the anticipation making her want to run as fast as she could. But she controlled the urge and kept to a brisk walk, waving hello to those who called out in greeting as she passed though the base. She had a nervous flutter in her stomach, but tried to ignore it. She had no reason to be nervous about seeing Liolee again, they'd been basically living together for the past two and a half months, longer if you count when she was unconscious. But still, this felt different, she couldn't shake it.
She reached the corridor where her room was and stopped. Leaning against a wall, she rested her hands on her knees and took a breath, willing her nerves to calm down. When she was a Jedi, she never really had situations like this and it was all still so new. As aggravating as this was, she needed to learn to deal with it
"Calm down." She muttered to herself, rubbing her eyes and shaking her head to clear it. "You can do this, your fine."
Nodding to herself, she stood back up and again began walking towards the door looming in front of her. Upon reaching the metal door, she took a breath before slowly reaching her hand up and knocking softly.
No reply came.
Frowning, Ahsoka knocked again, this time a little louder. Maybe Liolee hadn't heard her the first time. When still no reply came, Ahsoka decided just to go in. Pressing a button on the control panel next to the door, the door slide open to reveal an empty room. Ahsoka stood in the doorway, frowning at the dark room.
"Hello?" She said, taking a step into the room and turning on the lights. The room was clean, the both the top and bottom bunks made in, with the blankets tucked in neatly under the mattress. The chest that held all of the clothes had been cleaned off and all of Ahsoka's clothes that had been left out were put away. The small table against the wall next to the beds had been cleaned off as well and looked clear at first glance. The glass of water that Liolee always kept there was gone as was the small box that she placed her necklace in every night. Her mother had given her that so many years ago, and as was tradition for her, she removed it every night and laid it into the small red box, saying a short prayer in her native tongue.
But when Ahsoka walked further into the room, she noticed there was something laying on the night table. Slowly, she walked over the table and found a folded piece of paper sitting on it, her name scrawled on the front. Ahsoka picked up the paper and carefully unfolded it to read what had been written upon it.
Ahsoka,
I'm sorry for telling you like this, but I didn't have the courage to do it in person. By the time you're reading this, I will be on my way to Ryloth. I am so thankful for everything you've done for me, but It's time for me to go out and find my own way. Hopefully I will find my family as well. I need to find out what happened to them and where I can go from here.
The time we spent together was some of the happiest of my life, and I will never forget the kindness you shared with me. Never did I expect to be cared for by someone the way you cared for me, or feel the way I felt about you. Please know that my leaving had nothing to do with you and I will always be forever grateful to you.
Goodbye.
Liolee
"Ahsoka!"
She didn't even register Olav's distant call as she stared down at the letter, unable to believe what she had just read. Liolee was gone?
"Ahsoka." Olav stood in the doorway, watching Ahsoka's staring blankly at the letter. "I just found out you were back. I wanted to find you before…" He trailed off, taking another step inside the room. "Ahsoka?" He asked again, taking another step closer to her.
Ahsoka finally looked up at him, hurt in her blue eyes.
"When did she leave?" She asked in a quiet voice, looking back down at the letter.
"The morning after you left. I came to check on her after she missed breakfast, and I found the letter. I checked with some of the others and someone said they saw her leaving early in the morning." He said sympathetically, walking over her and resting a hand on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry Ahsoka."
Ahsoka nodded, not knowing how to respond to any of this. She didn't know what to do, how to feel. She sat down on the bed, finally setting the letter down gently on the table.
"I just-everything was going so well." Ahsoka murmured, staring down blankly. "I thought she was happy."
"She was." Olav said, sitting down next to her and putting an arm around her shoulder.
"Then why did she leave?" Ahsoka said, the hurt in her voice painfully audible.
"She needed to find her family, to try and have a life now that she is free." Olav said simply. "Her leaving had nothing to do with you. She just needed to find her own way."
"And I was holding her back?"
"No, she just needed to be alone to start again. It wasn't you." Olav added gently, squeezing her shoulder.
Ahsoka nodded but said nothing, still looking down.
"Why don't we go grab something to drink, okay?" Olav suggested, standing up when she nodded once again, and pulling her to her feet as well. They walked silently out of the room and into the dark halls. As they approached the cantina, they heard loud voices and Hondo popped his head out the door as they approached.
"Come join us! Where's your girlfriend, Tano?" He slurred, laughing with the others.
Ahsoka said nothing, continuing to walk numbly into the room past Hondo and straight to corner of the bar. She took a seat at the counter and waited well Olav quietly explained to Hondo what had happened. The smile fell from Hondo's face and was replaced by a frown. He walked over to where Ahsoka sat and pulled up a stool next to her.
"Four shots, Klen." Hondo told Klen, who was working the bar. Quickly the drinks appeared before the two and Hondo pushed two towards Ahsoka, keeping two for himself. "Come on kid, down the hatch." He downed his two and pointedly looked at Ahsoka. "Don't make me dump them down your throat, Tano."
Relenting, Ahsoka swallowed the drinks, coughing as the warm liquid burned her throat. "What was that?" She asked.
"Something to help." Hondo shrugged with a grin, gesturing for more drinks. "Now tell your old friend Hondo all about it."
A few hours later, a drunk Hondo and an even drunker Ahsoka stumbled into the nearest town.
"Now let me tell you," Hondo slurred as they leaned on each other. "The trick to get over a woman, to get under another woman!"
Ahsoka laughed shaking her head. "You're advice suuuucks." She giggled, stumbling as they walked down the small cobbled road. "The solution is always sex."
"And it hasn't failed me once!" He proclaimed, winking at an old lady in a shop they passed.
"Eww." Ahsoka said, shaking her head in disgust.
"This way, my heartbroken friend." He said dramatically, leading her into a bar. The rest of the night was a blur.
The next morning Ahsoka awoke to a massive headache as she lay an unfarmiliar bed. Much softer than hers. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to block out the light as she squinted around. She was in a brightly light room that she did not recognize, laying in a bed that she had never seen before. She sat up quickly, feeling disoriented. She stood up, wondering where she was and trying to remember what had happened last night.
Picking up her cloak from a chair next to the bed, she drew it tight around herself, suddenly feeling very small. Ahsoka quickly exited the room in found herself in a small living area. On a table by the front door lay a small note that Ahsoka picked up as she moved to leave.
Had a great time last night. Lock the door when you leave.
Keiri
Ahsoka set the note back down and walked out the door, hearing the click of the lock behind her. Her face was downcast and hood drawn as she walked through the apartment complex down the stairs and outside into the crisp morning air. She walked, no destination in mind, but with only the goal to get as far away from everything as she could.
The narrow streets were full of twists and turns and Ahsoka moved through them in silence, ignoring the thoughts that kept popping into her head. She vaguely remembered talking with a girl at the bar last night but even by then she had drank so much that even that was a little fuzzy. Regardless, she knew what had happened and what she had done last night.
Whatever her drunken self had been trying to achieve by sleeping with someone else, it hadn't worked. Liolee still filled her mind as she walked down the quiet streets, wishing she could think of anything else.
After about an hour of walking aimlessly, she found herself on the edge of the small city, nothing before her but long grass fields. Casting one last look over her shoulder, she started walking into the field.
Three days later, she was found right outside a lake-side town 80 miles from base, reeking of booze among other things and laying in the water's edge. She said nothing about where she had been or what she had done, but merely climbed into the ship silently and sat downcast as they returned home.
We Pretend It's Alright
Over the next three months, Ahsoka became a completely different person. She seemed to finally adopt the pirate lifestyle that she had dismissed for so long, drinking heavily, engaging in a long string of one-night stands and thinking more about herself for the first time.
Hondo couldn't have been prouder.
"Hondo, something is wrong, this isn't her." Olav insisted one night as they sat in a bar, watching Ahsoka down a another shot before walking over to talk to a girl she had been eyeing all night.
"Let the girl be happy! She's finally rid herself of her Jedi values and is enjoying the finer things in life. This is not a bad thing." Hondo insisted, grinning at the girl on his other side. "And look at her go!"
Olav didn't say anything as Ahsoka whispered something to the girl at the bar and the two started towards the exit, Ahsoka throwing her arm around the girl and shooting a grin in their direction. Hondo gave her a thumbs up before turning back to Olav.
"See? She's happy, let her be happy." He stood up, pulling the woman on his left closer to him. "Now if, you'll excuse me." He grinned and made his exit as well.
We Pretend It's Alright
"You want to do it?" Hondo asked, raising an eyebrow at Ahsoka.
Ahsoka nodded, with a shrug, her face emotionless. Although Hondo wouldn't admit it, he had started to see what Olav had meant. Well she laughed and seemed fine most of the time, there were moments when she thought no one was looking, that the façade fell. Hondo had seen her in those moments, her blank expression, the distant look in her eyes. He saw what Olav had been seeing all along. But he choose to ignore it.
"You want to go spend over a month alone undercover so that we can pull of this heist?"
"Yeah, why not?"
Hondo narrowed his eyes slightly, but nodded. He didn't understand her eagerness to get away, but decided not leave it. "Alright then, I was going to have Klen do it, but if you want to, I won't stop you."
"When do I leave?"
We Pretend It's Alright
(2 months later, present time with rest of story)
"Come on!" Hondo insisted, pulling on Ahsoka's arm as she refused to get up "Up you go now."
"It's been almost two months since we last saw you, come on!" Olav added, laughing as Ahsoka groaned, trying to wrench her arm out of Hondo's grip
"Exactly, I've been gone for two months working harder than any of you. I'm tired." Ahsoka whined, closing her eyes and laying her head back against the booth. "We have enough stuff here, do we have to go somewhere?" She said, gesturing to the cantina they were sitting in.
"You're young, you'll live." Hondo said, shaking his head and laughing. "When I was your age I never missed a chance to party."
"I can't imagine how unbearable you would have been." Ahsoka muttered, causing the rest of the group to laugh. "Fine! One hour." She conceded, allowing Hondo to pull her to her feet and through his arm around her shoulder. "Where are we going?"
"Lirgio's?" Jihn suggested and everyone nodded their approval. They headed out outside and grabbed some speeders before setting off towards the diner located in a nearby city, Lothal's largest.
"I'll get a table, you guys go grab drinks." Ahsoka told the rest of the group, forcing a smile when they arrived. When they walked into the building they were met with shouts of greeting and the group, minus Ahsoka, went off the bar. As soon as her back was turned, the smile fell from her face as she stood in queue of people waiting for tables.
Three hours later Ahsoka had forgotten about her wish to only go out for an hour and was having more fun than she had had in a long time. Not only were they celebrating her return, but also the massive heist they had been able to pull off thanks to her undercover job infiltrating a Corellian mob. Ahsoka had become quite used to this lifestyle after Liolee had left, and she sat with her arm around some girl as she laughed loudly and downed another shot.
"Another round!" Hondo called out and everyone cheered at his words, Ahsoka kissing the girl briefly before continuing her discussion with Frogon and Gini, Frogon's Bounty Hunter girlfriend that Ahsoka loved talking to.
"No you didn't!" Ahsoka insisted as Gini laughed.
"I did too!" Frogon stated, finishing off his drink.
"You did not single handedly take out a group of ten Night Sisters, shut up." Ahsoka refuted, raising her brow at him.
"Well, maybe it wasn't a whole group…"
They all laughed as Frogon poured them another round.
"I'll be right back." Ahsoka said, detaching her arm from around the girl and standing up. "Bathroom." She left the loud table and started heading to the back of the cantina, passing a few other tables but not taking notice of them.
"Ahsoka."
She froze, recognizing that voice. Slowly, she turned around to face the voice and saw Rex standing a few feet behind her.
"Rex." She breathed, a smile stretching over her face. Before she knew what she was doing, she wrapped her arms around him and the embraced tightly.
"It's been a while." Rex said as they let go of each other, a smile on his tired face.
"Yeah, it sure has." Ahsoka smiled back, feeling a pang of sadness as she stood facing one of the people that she had left behind. "What are you doing here Rex? Is the rest of the 501 here to?"
"No, just me." Rex said. "Most of the 501 has been moved from battle and disbanded actually."
"What, why?" Ahsoka asked, her brow furled.
"Ahsoka, we have a lot to talk about, do you mind if we step outside?"
"Of course." Ahsoka said at once, following Rex out of a side door and into an alley next to the diner. "Rex, what's going on?"
"I'm currently on a mission to find you, a mission that was given to me by Senator Amidala." Rx started.
"Padme sent you to find me?"
"Yes she did. Do you know anything that has been happening on Coruscant?"
"No, we don't really get a lot of news out here, especially at base. Is there something I should know?" She asked, looking curiously at him.
Over the next hour, Rex explained everything that was going. He told her about Anakin's arrest and that when he had left, Anakin was awaiting a Jedi trail. He told her about the clone inhibitor chip and what happened to Fives and Tup, showing her the scar from where he had had his removed. He told her how she had been spotted on Garel and how he had spent the last month looking for her.
"I can't believe it." Ahsoka murmured tears in her eyes after Rex had just finished telling her about Tup and Fives. "So they were both killed to cover this up?"
"Yes, they were." Rex confirmed, bowing his head. "And it's been nearly impossible to do any research on it at all, let alone get the message out to other clones."
"And Anakin is in prison for saving the galaxy from control of the Sith." Ahsoka said, shaking her head in disbelief. "How can everything have gone so wrong?"
"I wish I knew." Rex said squeezing her shoulder sympathetically.
"But why did Padme sent you to find me?" Ahsoka said after a minute of silence, looking confusedly at Rex.
"We need you back on Coruscant." Rex started.
"What?" Ahsoka asked, her brow furled.
"Senator Amidala needs you to testify in General Skywalker's trial." Rex explained. "And I think they just need you as well, though she would never admit it. Senator Amidala and you were always close and you and General Skywalker were practically inseparable half the time. They need you Ahsoka, they can't do this alone."
"Rex, I'm not… I'm not the kind of person that they need right now." Ahsoka murmured, looking down the ground. "I would only make things worse."
"What are you talking about?" Rex said, looking at her questioningly. "You're exactly who they need."
"No, I'm not. Not anymore. I'm not the same person as when I left." Ahsoka stared, looking up at him sadly. "I'm joined Hondo's crew, Rex. I am a criminal. I steal from people, I've hurt people. I've killed people." Her voice was steady but quiet as she said this. "If they knew that…"
There was silence for a moment, neither knowing quite what to say.
"So you're just gonna step back and watch them fall apart?" Rex said quietly, looking harshly at Ahsoka. "You think you aren't good enough so you're just gonna stay away and let your family die?"
"No-"
"Yes, that is what you are doing. You want to know how many of my brothers I've watched fall at my side, how many have been cut down right in front of me. There wasn't anything I could do for them, but keep fighting. You think I haven't done things that make me sick? That there haven't been times I wanted to walk away from it all and never look back?"
"Rex, I-"
"You walked away, Ahsoka. I don't blame you for it, I understand. But if you really think that you should stay away right now, you are a different person. The Ahsoka I knew wouldn't stand by as her friends, her family, were torn apart and attacked. The Ahsoka I know was a soldier who toughed it out and thought beyond herself. She fought for those who she cared about, and those who couldn't fight for themselves."
"What if I am different?" Ahsoka finally interjected, her voice raised. "What if I'm tired of fighting and putting myself last? What if I'm tired of trying and losing?"
"Then you are like everyone else. The difference is whether you decide to keep trying or not." Rex said simply. Silence yet again fell over them as they stood in the dark alley, staring at each other.
"Is Padme really pregnant?" Ahsoka asked after a moment of silence, her voice softer than before.
"Yes, she is." Rex said solemnly, sharing a sad smile with Ahsoka. "And still handling Anakin's case along with her other senate duties and campaigning for Bail Organa."
"She needs help." Ahsoka said quietly looking down at her feet, shame washing over her. "They both do."
After another moment of hesitation, she looked up at Rex and nodded.
"I'll come back with you." She said, her voice full of emotion as Rex threw an arm around her shoulder with a smile.
"Thank you Ahsoka, they need you."
"Yeah, or maybe you just missed me." She teased, sticking her tongue out at the older man.
"Yeah, maybe." Rex chuckled. "So you've been with Ohnaka's crew?"
"Yeah." Ahsoka said casually, smiling at the look on the captain's face. "Really, he's not that bad once you get to know him."
"I'll take your word for it." Rex said, shaking his head in amusement. "And I expect a lot more detail than that in the future." He added.
"Of course, A… a lot has happened since I left. I'll tell you all about it on the way back to Coruscant." She said with a small smile. "But I should get back, I've Got to talk to some people before I leave.
"Of course." Rex nodded. "When is the soonest you'll be ready to leave?"
"Tomorrow morning?" Ahsoka threw out and Rex nodded. "I'll meet you at the south entrance to the city, alright?"
"Alright." Rex said with a nod. Ahsoka held out her hand, and he took it. After the handshake, Ahsoka returned to the cantina, her head reeling. "Everyone will be glad to see you, we've missed you."
"I've missed you too." Ahsoka admitted, with a sad smile. "See you tomorrow, Rex."
AN:
Well, there it is! The conclusion to the Ahsoka story. This took so long as I completely rewrote this chapter from scratch TWICE after finishing because I couldn't decide what to do with Liolee. I ultimately picked her leaving and have finally finished yet again with this chapter. Also, Ahsoka might seem a little OOC in some parts, but that's just how I decided she would react given her environment and full rejection of her Jedi past after Liolee left. But for those who are worried, being on Coruscant will definitely be another turning point for her, in a few ways.
So, PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you thought, as that is really one of my favorite parts of writing. Next chapter we get back to Coruscant and I am very excited to write some happy reunions for once. Also, I missed Padme and Anakin;)
Till next chapter,
Diamondgirl3;)