Sarah woke up at the sound of her alarm, hit the button to turn it off and stretched expansively. She was more than a little disappointed that Chuck wasn't sleeping next to her. They had mutually decided to spend the night apart. Waking up now, wanting to feel his hands on her, wanting to put her hands on him, she couldn't exactly remember why they thought it was a good idea.
After their "afternoon delight" and Chuck's story about Stanford, they had actually gone to Venice Beach. They had walked along the boardwalk, watched street performers, browsed in the various shops and had dinner at a little mom & pop pizza parlor. And they'd kissed. A lot. A lot of kissing. And it was wonderful. As amorous as they'd been over the prior 16 hours, the kissing didn't get them as aroused as it otherwise would have. It was different than that, more intimate. She truly believed she'd spent more cumulative time kissing Chuck than all the previous men in her life combined. She couldn't get enough of it, and it seemed like he was in the same place. When she'd finally dropped him off at the apartment he shared with his sister and her boyfriend, they'd leaned in to kiss each other good night and 5 minutes just literally vanished.
Sarah did notice that Chuck was becoming a little more inquisitive about her past. Every now and then, he would slip a little nudge or half-question about her past into their conversations, looking for little details about her history. She found she wanted to tell him but after spending a life closing those things off, it was difficult. And other things she simply couldn't talk about. So, she would deflect or offer up a half-truth and then redirect the conversation. She found that she really didn't want to lie to him about her history but in some cases the only option was to either lie or deflect. Every now and then, she would see him raise a questioning eyebrow, but he never pushed on the same question twice, for which she was very grateful.
She had shared with him that her parents divorced when she was very young, and she'd spent a lot of time moving around from place to place with her father. She also mentioned that's she'd spent some time with her grandmother when her father was travelling too much to keep her with him. One tool of deflection she used was that her childhood was a very difficult time, with lots of painful memories that she didn't like dwelling on, and he seemed to accept that. It was a true statement, if lacking in underlying details.
She'd walked into her hotel room after their night together and she could still smell just the barest hint of him in the air that had her rethinking their decision to spend the night apart. But she was ok with it. Whatever this thing was between them, they needed to maintain proper perspective, and it felt smart. As she was brushing her teeth, she'd received a text from him – "If I timed this right, you should be getting to your hotel room about now. As I got into bed, I found myself wishing I could whisper good night in your ear. Good Night, Sarah. I'm looking forward to tomorrow…" – and then some kissy face emojis.
She'd texted him back. "You're adorable but you need to work on your timing, Chuck. I've been in my room for almost 10 minutes. I'm looking forward to tomorrow as well. Good night, loverboy!
The plan today was for Sarah to pick him up at his apartment, get a late breakfast together, go to a few museums in the area, then see where the day took them.
She texted him that she was on her way when she left her hotel. At the next stoplight saw that he'd responded – "Great. Ellie and Awesome are at the hospital all day so if you want to come in feel free, otherwise let me know when you're here and I'll come on out."
Oh, Chuck. Really? Of course, I'm going to come in, you silly, silly man.
She opened the door to his apartment after she heard him bellow from inside and stepped into the glorious smells of him cooking breakfast.
"Oh, wow, Chuck, that smells great! But I thought we were going to grab something out?" She asked, putting her purse on a chair near the door and looking around the apartment. There were a number of pictures on the walls of Chuck and a pretty brunette she assumed was his sister, along with a tall, blonde, SoCal looking muscle-man who could only be Captain Awesome. There was also quirky art on the walls and brick-a-brack scattered along various shelves. It had a very warm, lived in feel. It was a marked contrast with the barren, austere places she was used to.
"Yeah, I know, but I thought what the hell, I'm taking some vacation and I want to cook you breakfast. Do you like omelets?" Chuck said, walking into the living room with a smile. He leaned in and kissed her deeply but quickly.
"Yeah, an omelet sounds great. Do you have coffee?" She asked hopefully.
"Of course, what kind of breakfast would it be without coffee?" He asked, mock offended. "How do you take it?"
"Light cream, light sugar. Can I do anything to help?"
"No, I got this. You make yourself at home, wander around if you want. Mi casa, es su casa."
Chuck brought her a fantastic cup of coffee, gave her another kiss, and she wandered around the apartment looking mostly at pictures of Chuck and Ellie. More than a few of Ellie and Devon. A lot of Chuck and Morgan at various ages. Before long, Chuck brought out two plates with what looked like fully loaded omelets with cheese, bacon, ham and potatoes.
"Oh, Chuck that looks delicious." Sarah said, sitting at the table.
"Thank you." Chuck said smiling. "My culinary skills are pretty limited, but if I do say so myself, I make great omelets and pretty mean pancakes as well." Sarah dug in, feeling suddenly ravenous and it didn't disappoint.
They talked while they ate. Chuck described some of the places they were planning on visiting that day, most of which he hadn't visited in a long time, one of which was the LA County Museum of Art. Sarah had heard somewhere that it was one of the largest in the country and it was less than 10 miles from his apartment. "We could go to LACMA every day this week and still not see it all. It really is amazing." Chuck said excitedly. "For the life of me, I don't know why I haven't been back in all these years."
"I think that's actually pretty typical," Sarah observed. "When you live in a place, the local culture tends to fade into the background. You're so focused on your daily life you don't think about it. It's only during unusual events that you start to really look at all the interesting things there are to do in your area.
"You literally live less than an hour away from some of the most amazing attractions in the country, but it's just sort of there for you. I bet you drive by a lot of these places every week and barely see them. I lived in DC and never even really thought about all the amazing museums and monuments they have there. Of course, I was often overwhelmed by work and didn't have the time," Sarah said between mouthfuls of the delicious breakfast he'd made.
This reminded Chuck of something she'd said the night he picked her up on their first date. "You mentioned the first night that you were in kind of a weird place with your job since you moved out here. Is taking this time off going to cause any problems for you?" He asked.
"No, not at all. And I really am in kind of strange place at work right now. I'm sort of in-between projects and I don't have a lot on my plate. So, I figure, why not take advantage?" Sarah said, a little hesitantly.
"You know you've never really told me what it is that you do…?" Chuck asked curiously.
Sarah paused for the barest moment but quickly decided at this point, she had to give him the lie. "It's just really not that interesting. I'm a logistics and project manager for a defense sub-contractor. I help manage the movement of equipment and systems to projects all over the world. At least, that's what I was doing in DC. When they transferred me out here, they put me over another group of contractors and I just really don't have much to do."
Chuck listened intently. "I don't know, that actually could be very interesting. It sounds like you get to be pretty involved in various government contracts, maybe work alongside the military. And it also sounds like you get the opportunity to travel. That could be fun."
"It was fun in the beginning, but you don't really have the time to sight-see. These projects run on crazy tight deadlines and if one tiny little piece of the of the puzzle is delayed, it throws everything that's supposed to come after it into chaos. And dealing with the military is its own nightmare. Some of this job used to be handled by military quartermasters but a series of audits in the 1980's and 90's showed that corruption within the quartermaster system was just off-the charts, so they started out-sourcing logistics management. But the military resented this, and they have a very long memory. They often work to undermine us if they think they can get away with it." Sarah was offering a lot of truth about these things, both as it pertained to her actual job as a field agent, and the fictional one.
"Wow, that does sound like it could be challenging. And you're ok with taking the days off?"
Sarah nodded, smiling. "I've honestly got months of vacation time available. Our vacation time rolls-over year to year and we can choose to keep rolling it over or we can get a cash-out of the accrued time. I've just let it roll over every year." Sarah said, which was all true. The CIA did have a pretty impressive benefits structure, especially for field agents.
Chuck gave her look that said he was impressed. "Wow, that is a pretty cool benefits package. At the Buy More we get a maximum of 5 sick days and 5 vacation days a year, and that's only after you've worked there for a year with full time status. They will cash out your unused vacation time at the end of each year, but not the sick days, and there's no roll-over provision. And the part time workers don't even get that."
"That's terrible," Sarah said. "Honestly, Chuck, with what you've described to me about that place, I don't know how you can stand it there."
"Ah, I know I complain about it a lot, but it's really not that bad." Chuck said dismissively. "It's work that I'm good at and I kind of keep the place running to a certain extent. I'm one of the only ones that some of those guys will listen to even occasionally."
"They respect you, Chuck," Sarah said plainly.
Chuck scoffed. "I don't know about that."
"No, seriously," Sarah insisted. "Even for just the few minutes I was there the other day, I could tell that much. When you ask for something you really want done, they recognize it and they get it done." She was thinking specifically of how they'd all jumped to help him with the little ballerina girl. They couldn't have cared less for the dad or the little girl really, but they wanted to help Chuck.
"Meh, I suppose," Chuck shrugged. "Sometimes I really have to threaten to knock heads together to get them to listen. Or more accurately, threaten to limit their time wasting activities. It's a balancing act between using a carrot or a stick to get them to just do their damn jobs," he let out a frustrated chuckle.
"You realize how insanely overqualified you're are for that job, right?" She said, finishing the last of her omelet.
"Yeah, I suppose," he said shrugging. "Like I mentioned yesterday, it's just so… Not easy, but comfortable, I guess. Even the frustrations I deal with have a familiarity to them that I know how to handle."
"I get it," Sarah said. "And I'm not judging you, Chuck."
"No, I know," Chuck said quickly. "It's nice to hear these things from someone besides Ellie. I know she's worried about me. I have to admit, looking back on things now, she's been amazingly patient with me." Chuck paused and gave Sarah a meaningful look. "Sarah, you've really given me an amazing new perspective on things. I have to thank you for that."
"You're welcome, Chuck." She said quietly, noticing that in the light of the morning sun coming through the dining room window, there were flecks of color in his eyes she hadn't noticed before and didn't have a name for.
She stood up quickly and took his hand. "Thank you for making me breakfast. Now, take me to your room. I want to have sex." She stated plainly.
"You have no idea how happy I am you said that! It took all my will power not to jump you as soon as you walked in the door!" He exclaimed, jumping up and practically dragging her down the hall to his room.
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"Is it just me, or do we keep raising the bar?" Chuck panted as he lay next to her, her head on his chest. It seemed she was as breathless as he was.
"We?" Sarah asked giggling. "Uh, Chuck, I was pretty much just along for the ride on that little adventure!"
"Sarah, everything that I've been doing with you, it's all you." Chuck said earnestly. "All of it, it's like all I want to do is give you pleasure. It's you are pulling this all out of me. Am I making any sense at all?"
"Yeah, but I think I need to push back on that a little bit, Chuck." Sarah said. "I mean, whatever you're finding in yourself to give me pleasure, that's great – hey, by all means, keep it up! But you're still finding it in yourself. The most I'm willing to give you, and this is probably more appropriate than I realize, is that you're a great artist, and I'm your muse! And maybe a little bit vice-versa as well, Chuck because I find myself wanting you to experience the amazing things you're doing to me!"
"Ok, I think I can accept that analogy." Chuck leaned over and kissed her, then stood up and held out his hands to her. "Do you want to bask a little longer, or go see beautiful gardens and amazing art?"
She grasped his hands and he easily pulled her up out of the bed, embracing her.
"I want to do both but gardens and art it is!" She said with a contended sigh.
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The day went by in a blur. There were a lot of people out enjoying the same activities, but they hardly noticed anyone, or at least Chuck hardly noticed. Sarah found herself struggling to maintain even a baseline of situational awareness. She had enemies in the world and if one of them were to stumble upon her, they would not hesitate to try and kill her regardless of the potential loss to innocent life. The crowds worked to her advantage. It was always more difficult to follow someone on foot in a crowded environment, unless there was an electronic tracker in play.
The gardens were stunning, and the art was breathtaking. They held hands, they kissed incessantly, and they just enjoyed being in each other's presence. They ate an expensive yet mediocre lunch at the museum cafeteria, saw more breath taking art, then bought a cheap but delicious Mediterranean dinner from a street vendor and ate it as they walked and talked.
As they were walking, they passed a comedy bar and noticed that there were still tickets available for a show starting in the next half hour.
"Hey, have you ever been to a live stand-up comedy event?" Chuck asked.
"Um, no, I can't say that I have. I don't even know if that's a thing in DC?" She said, perplexed.
Chuck laughed. "Oh, it is, I'm sure. I can't imagine a city riper with self writing jokes than DC"
Sarah laughed, "Ok, funny man, are you doing a routine tonight?"
Chuck was horrified. "Are you kidding me? Just the idea of being on a stage in front of people..." He shivered. "That's like, literally nightmare material for me. I mean, I get self-conscious dancing in a room full of people dancing!"
"Well, should we check this one out?" Sarah asked.
"Sure, that sounds like fun. I've been to them before but not in a long time. Not since college actually." Chuck said, stepping up to the ticket counter.
Sarah spoke up behind him. "Chuck, let me get the tickets and drinks, you bought all the food today!"
Chuck relented quickly. "Sure, that's fair."
The man behind the counter gave them their tickets and said, "It's a two-drink minimum per person, go on inside and they'll give you a seat."
"Thank you!" Chuck said excitedly.
Sarah handed their tickets to the hostess who looked at them intently for a moment and smiled. "Do you guys want to sit up front?"
Sarah smiled and said, "Sure!" before Chuck could object. The woman nodded and started walking them to a table at the front of the room right next to the stage and right in the center of the stage.
Sarah saw Chuck pausing, looking strangely nervous. "Chuck, you ok?" She asked.
"Uh, Sarah, if we sit up front, there's a good chance the comedian is going to like, talk to us, make us part of his show… Right, miss?" He said, directing his gaze towards the hostess.
She laughed knowingly. "Oh, yeah. Jeremy is going to love you two."
Sarah giggled. "Oh, come on, Chuck, that sounds like fun!" She said, clapping her hands quietly.
"Oh, my God. I may die from a stroke tonight as all the blood rushes to my head." Chuck said pulling out Sarah's seat for her.
They ordered their drinks as they sat down. Sarah looked around and noticed that the room was about two-thirds full, getting fuller and should be close to full by the time the show got started. There were two acts scheduled, for a total of about an hour show.
A waitress brought their drinks a few minutes before the lights went down and the emcee came out to warm the audience up a little, then introduce the first comedian. He seemed to have a pretty rigid set, and he was funny, but he didn't really interact with the crowd, much to Chuck's relief.
The second comedian to come out was the headliner, and he was much more casual, much more comfortable and engaging.
"Hello everyone, my name is Jeremy," he said, looking around the room. Being trained to pay attention to the details, Sarah noticed how his mouth quirked and an eyebrow raised a little as his eyes passed over her and Chuck.
"It is a perfectly average name for a perfectly average guy," he continued. "I am five foot nine inches tall, 170 pounds of completely average North American white male. I am the living definition of a 5 on the 10 scale." The audience laughed, enjoying his casual and comfortable presence on stage.
"And I have chosen to live in the city with the highest per capita number of stunningly beautiful people – nines and tens – anywhere in the world. So, with that in mind, at the beginning of all my sets, I like to take a look around the room to get a feel for the mean beauty level of the room." He shielded his eyes from the spotlight on him and mumbled into the microphone. "Ok, some solid sixes in the back there, some sevens. Oh, ouch, my apologies to you sir." He said shivering. "Ooh, that guy's is an eight, with a nine, good for you sir."
There were laughs as he worked his way around the room alternately complementing and insulting people. Then he worked around to Chuck and Sarah and did a double take. "Holy shit!" He exclaimed into his microphone. "Ladies and gentlemen, we have couple up front here that is ruining the curve for everyone else." He laughed genuinely, looking at them. He paused for a long moment, studying them intently as the audience chuckled.
"Jessica sat you guys up here, didn't she? Oh, I love Jessica." He said quietly, into the microphone. "Not, in a creepy way, Jessica!" He said louder, looking at the entrance to the room. The audience laughed "Seriously, you guys are beautiful! I mean way to go swimming in the gene pool, guys!"
Chuck groaned as Jeremy leaned down towards him. "What's your name, sir?" Jeremy asked, looking at Chuck.
"Chuck." Chuck said, blushing.
"CHUCK!" Jeremy exclaimed excitedly. "That's a fantastic name!" He laughed, walking back and forth on the stage. "It's so goddamn versatile! You can be "Chuck!" everyone's pal, their buddy. Hey, let's get a beer with Chuck!" He laughed.
"But then you can put on a tux, go to a charity event and be, Charles, the prince of goddamn England!" He put his hand on his hip and thrust his chest out. He affected a snooty English accent. "I can't get a beer with, Chuck, you plebeian dilettante. I'm having champagne with Charles, on his yacht!" He tossed imaginary hair over his shoulders.
"Great. Fuckin. Name. That's worth a point right there on the scale, man!" He said looking down at Chuck, obviously amused with his discomfort.
"Hey, not many names are worth an extra point. You think 'Jeremy' is worth an extra point?" He used a nasally, high-pitched voice when he said his own name. "No, man, it's not! So, you gotta own that extra point!"
The audience was greatly enjoying Chuck's obvious discomfort and Sarah was grinning so hard her face looked like it could split.
"Chuck! I love it!" Jeremy said, laughing. "How tall are you, Chuck? You look like you got some lank to you. How tall?" He asked.
"Six-four" Chuck said.
"Fuck you, Chuck." Jeremy said flatly into the microphone, his face losing all expression. The audience was rolling. He paused for a long time, walking back and forth across the stage, acting distressed. "Six foot four, fuckin' dick." He whispered into the microphone. "Yeah, fuck you, Chuck."
He laughed. "I'm sorry, Chuck. I apologize. It's not your fault I have self-esteem issues." He paused, looking around and laughing. "It's hard being a five man, it's tough!"
Still laughing, he continued. "Chuck! Charles, my six-foot-four nemesis, you also have great hair so you, my friend, get a nine on the Jeremy ten-point scale of hotness. Good job! Everybody give it up for Chuck and his nine" Jeremy and everybody in the audience applauded as Chuck buried his face in his hands.
After the applause settled down, Jeremy rolled his head dramatically, looking back at Sarah, to the amusement of the audience. He just looked at her, grinning maniacally and blinking rapidly as the audience laughed.
"Hello, Clarice." He said finally, affecting a perfect imitation of the Hannibal character.
Sarah sat back in her seat and gave him a little wave. "Hi." She said.
He looked around at the audience. "Are you guys seeing what I'm seeing?" There were whistles and cat-calls from the audience.
He looked back down at Sarah, giving her a smoldering look. "How you doooin?" He said with another perfect imitation. The audience loved the reference and laughed loudly, clapping.
When things quieted down, he asked softly, "What is your name, beautiful?"
"Sarah." She said laughing.
"That's a great name, too, Sarah!" He growled heavily into the microphone.
He paused, walking around the stage, affecting deep thought. "Ladies and gentlemen, I regret to inform you that I do not believe in elevens on the ten point scale!" He looked around dramatically. "What this means is that all of you-" he made a grand sweeping gesture with his arm. "-lose a point!" There was a lot of groaning and laughter.
He looked at Chuck. "That includes you too, Chu-ck!" He said, emphasizing the CK at the end. "But you get it back because you're sitting next to…" He looked back at Sarah. "Sarah!" He exclaimed breathily into the microphone.
"Sarah." He said. She gave him another little wave. "Sarah." He repeated. Then he quickly said, "Chuck's your brother right, Sarah? If there is a God - please-god, please-god - then Chuck is your brother!"
Sarah shook her head, laughing and said, "No, he is definitely not my brother."
"Dammit, Chu-ck!" He screamed, looking back at Chuck. The audience was enjoying their exchange immensely. "I'm taking a point away from you, Chu-ck, now BECAUSE you're sitting next to…" He smiled slowly and looked back. "Sarahhhh!" Every time he said her name he was saying it breathily and drawing it out.
"Are you related to Chuck in any way?" He closed his eyes and put his hands together, affecting a little prayer.
Her eyes got big and she said, "I certainly hope not!"
"You're killing me, Chuck!" He exclaimed. Chuck still had his face in his hands and the audience was loving it.
"Sarah, are you dating, Chuck?" He asked, his eyes closed.
She bit her lip and nodded her head. "Yes, I am, Jeremy." She said drawing his name out. The audience laughed and oooh'd.
Jeremy's eye's got wide and he looked around smiling. "How long have you been dating, Chuck, Sarah?"
"Three days." She said laughing. Chuck audibly groaned and the audience laughed.
Jeremy was obviously ecstatic and danced a little jig on the stage. "Oh, the comedy Gods are smiling on me today!" He looked around the room with a huge grin. "She said three days! They've been dating… THREE DAYS!" He held three fingers high over his head, his eyes closed and his head down, in a victory pose.
"Everyone who knows what my next question is, please raise your hand." He said firmly. Nearly everyone in the room raised their hands, including Sarah and Chuck, who still had his face in one hand.
Jeremy looked at Chuck with his hand up and started genuinely cracking up. "Chuck knows what I'm going to ask!" Jeremy took a step over to Chuck, and asked, "What's my next question going to be, Chu-ck!" and he actually put his microphone down in front of Chuck.
Chuck groaned, the microphone picking it up loud and clear, causing the audience to roar with laughter. Jeremy screamed, "What's my question, Chuck!" With the microphone still in front of Chuck.
"Have we had sex yet!" Chuck yelled, looking like he wanted to hide under the table. The audience roared louder and applauded! Sarah was turning red from a mixture of laughter and embarrassment. Chuck was closer to scarlet.
Jeremy threw his arms in the air. He strutted and danced around the stage a little while the audience laughed and hooted, giving them a few seconds to wind down.
After things got a little quieter, he looked at Chuck again. "Well?"
Chuck looked shocked. "I can't answer, that!" He yelled, to everyone's enjoyment.
Jeremy started, tapping his foot impatiently looking at Chuck. He looked up and around the room, then he looked down at Sarah as a slow smile crept across his face. "Saaarraaahh…!"
Sarah was looking up at him, giggling madly. She held up her hand open with all five fingers up and silently mouthed the words "Five times."
Jeremy's mouth fell open and he started laughing right along with the audience. "Holy shit, Charles!" He said finally looking at, Chuck who had his face back in both hands, but his neck and ears were bright red. "You are my new fucking hero, man!"
He looked out at the audience and whispered into the mic "Five times!" Then mimicked Sarah by holding out his hand counting out each finger individually for the audience until they were all open and the room was cheering.
As the audience calmed down, a man in the back yelled out, "Good for you, Chuck!" And then a woman yelled out, "To hell with that! Good for you, Sarah!" And the audience cheered again.
When things calmed down again, Jeremy said, "Everyone, give it up for Chuck and Sarah, they've been great sports tonight!" And the room cheered again for the two of them.
As the audience settled, Jeremy moved on to the rest of his routine, which Chuck found very enjoyable, once he wasn't the center of attention, but his ears were bright red for most of the night.
After Jeremy's routine was over, he received a standing ovation from the audience. As they were walking out, several men patted Chuck on the back and the women gave Sarah several thumbs up.
As they were walking down the sidewalk, Sarah wrapped her arm around Chuck's and leaned into him. "Oh my God, I don't know if I've ever laughed so hard in my life!" Sarah said still giggling. "Like, my ribs are hurting."
"I don't know if I've ever been so mortified in my life." Chuck said laughing.
"You were a really good sport back there." Sarah said. "I know you said he might talk to us, but oh wow, I never expected something like that."
"I think Jessica kind of warned us. Seems like that's a big part of his act. Did you see how she sized us up before she asked if we wanted to sit up front?" Chuck asked.
"You think that's what she was doing? I thought she was just checking you out!" Sarah laughed.
"No, she knew Jeremy would love you, and apparently I'm hotter just by being in your presence!" Chuck exclaimed.
She leaned into him as they were walking. "You heard what the man said, Chuck! You gotta own your nine!" She whispered in his ear, then quickly bit his earlobe.
He stopped walking then and pulled her into a deep, sensual kiss that had her insides humming.
As he pulled back, he looked in her eyes. "I know we said yesterday that we should probably go to our respective homes at night, but oh my God I want to spend the night with you. I want to wake up with you tomorrow morning!" He whispered fervently.
She leaned up and brought him into a kiss of her own. "You know, I don't even remember why we made that silly decision. I want to spend the night with you too. Of course, you can stay with me."
He kissed her again, then smiled. "And if you wanted to drive a little faster to get us back to your hotel, you know, quicker. I think I could handle that right now."
Chuck did quite well with the drive to her hotel, primarily with distracting himself. The problem was that the way he was distracting himself turned out to be fairly distracting to Sarah as well. He used his right hand on the interior grab-handle of the car, but his left kept stroking her right leg, running down her thigh, then back up. She was wearing a stretchy jeans, but his hand was tracing fire on her thigh. And he wasn't focused on the looking out the windows either, but rather just on her, which was also probably helping him maintain his calm.
"Do you ever wear dresses?" He asked suddenly, a secret smile on his face.
She glanced at him curiously. "Um, sure, sometimes. Why do you ask?"
"Because it occurs to me that if you were wearing a dress right now, I would have access to your skin."
"Chuck, if you had access to my skin right now, we'd probably be wrapped around a telephone pole."
"Hmm." He said that secret smile still in place.
"Chuck, what are you thinking about?" She asked slowly.
"This morning, in my room. I want to do that to you again. I can't wait to do that to you again." He said without hesitation.
"Oh." She said, wondering if maybe she should look into buying some dresses, driving even faster.
Upon entering her hotel room, Chuck was true to his word. Afterwards, they lay together in companionable silence, neither one feeling the need to talk or analyze, but simply enjoy each other's warmth and presence. Sarah had never felt so safe or comfortable with another person.
Sarah felt his breathing even out and heard an ever so gentle snore she remembered from their first night together, which made her smile. That had been about 48 hours earlier. It seemed like such an inconsequential amount of time to have such a monumental effect on her.
She ran through their time together in her head and tried to processes it from his perspective. He was so transparent with his feelings and she knew the affect she had on him. She had to stifle a giggle as she remembered him dropping the phone when he first saw her. He didn't drop it so much as forget it was there, lifting his head to look at her and letting it slide down off his shoulder. And then when he didn't call, it was because he thought she was out of his league. Men could be so stupid.
But she knew it was about more than that. He had serious self-esteem issues that were on a negative spiral, stemming almost completely from his Stanford experience, and getting dumped by who must be the stupidest woman to have ever walked the earth.
After meeting her, talking to her briefly and apparently missing what felt like brazen flirting on her part, getting her card, very consciously NOT calling her back (jerk) only to have her show up again the next day and be like, take me out you giant nerd! Sarah wondered what that must have been like for him. She knew a little bit from what they'd talked about, but to be in his head! The poor guy must have thought he was going a little crazy. She wondered what the rest of his Thursday had been like, between the time she'd asked him out and the moment he'd showed up at her door. She could envision him talking to his sister, probably accompanied by Morgan, the strange bearded little man who'd left condoms in his wallet – a memory she thought would still make her smile serenely in 50 years' time.
She could see his sister being overjoyed that he had an actual date after all her failed attempts at setting him up. Him getting ready, showering, getting dressed. She wondered if he tried on different outfits, because she sure had. She'd been much more nervous than she'd let herself realize at the time, which was bizarre in its own right; more nervous about a normal date than she'd been infiltrating the Kremlin a couple of years ago. What would he think if he knew how nervous she'd been?
And then the moment she'd opened the door and seen him. She tried to see herself from his perspective, using the emotions she'd seen flit across his face. She knew quite well that he thought she was beautiful. What if he knew that she'd felt very similar, wanting to kiss him even then, feel those ridiculous curls in her hands. If only he'd known that she was every ounce as physically attracted to him as he was to her.
And then have two different people, from two crazy different perspectives tell her what she'd already known to be true. That he was one of the good ones. As attracted as she was to him physically, it was his innate goodness that had brought her back the next day. That man and his ballerina daughter. Bless that man and his ineptitude with technology.
It hit Sarah like a bolt out of the blue, a true epiphany. Chuck was the living embodiment of why she did what she did. Of who she envisioned herself working to protect. The good people who just lived their lives, never hurting anyone, never wanting to hurt anyone. The 'Chucks' of the world. It sounded so banal in her head, so trite. It was a thing that if said out loud on a mission would make other agents scoff and look embarrassed for her. But it was true, or it would have been if she'd had the foresight to understand it.
The cynic in her head spoke up to mock her. Really, Sarah? The cynic was the embodiment of Agent Walker, the one who doubted the good in the world, who saw everything as an angle, everyone as being out for themselves. Believing that even his pretense at goodness was ultimately self-serving
Could she truly say he, or what he represented, was why she did what she did? Honestly, probably not. If someone had described Chuck to her as little as a week earlier, the quintessential good guy, she would have been the one scoffing. Her father had raised her to see everyone as a mark or as someone who saw you as a mark. Then the CIA had moved in and reaffirmed that worldview.
But that was the old Sarah. She knew that Chuck had fundamentally changed her, changed what she viewed as possible. She may not have been able to say that's what she was fighting for, because you can't fight for something you don't believe exists. May as well say you're fighting to protect Unicorns. But now she did know. The theoretical good guy was very real and living in Burbank. And where there is one, there are more. He might be rare, but he wasn't an anomaly.
Unfortunately, there was another uncomfortable truth she had to admit to herself in these quiet moments, and that was that protecting the 'Chucks' of the world really wasn't what she did. It wasn't her job to protect anyone or anything. It was to take what she was told to take and kill who she was told to kill. To do it as cleanly and efficiently as possible, to not get caught doing it and to not question why. And she really didn't think she could do it anymore.
Sarah fell asleep with that last thought running through her head and slipped into a dream of running away from Director Graham who wanted her to go on one last mission. A mission to kill a man pretending to be the ultimate good guy. She'd opened the manila envelope with her target and Chuck's Buy More Nerd Herder ID would fall out and then she'd turn and run away. Only to run into a room with Director Graham giving her one last mission. To kill a man pretending to be the ultimate good guy. She'd opened the manila folder…
The dream faded into mist as she felt arm pressed up against her, someone softly kissing her neck, and hands stroking her back, down to the very top of her naked behind, then back up again. Oh, this was a very nice way to be woken up, she thought. "You know, if you could design an alarm clock to actually wake people up like this, I think you could hang out with Bill Gates and Warren Buffet and count your money together."
Chuck laughed quietly behind her and said, "I don't know if I could design an alarm clock with quite so much… intent." Suddenly she found herself fully awake.
"Oh my, Chuck, what exactly is that you 'intend' to do to me?" She asked rolling over.
With that invitation, he began kissing her in earnest, but it was leisurely, attentive, rapt. He had all the time in the world, and he meant to use it. Their lovemaking had always had some new element to it each time, from ferocity, to intimacy, to raw animal magnetism, and today was no different. This morning, the new element was time; drawing it out and making it last as long as possible. Of forgetting that fourth dimension even existed.
She embraced him, savored every exquisite sensation he created in her body, along her skin, with his eyes. And he did the same, each touch from her lips a wondrous gift to be savored, explored and returned in kind. Each brush of her hand along his face to be marveled at and treasured. Every gaze from her to be accepted and cherished.
It seemed that the depth and breadth of the pleasure he was able to give to her was growing with each intimate moment they shared. She rejoiced in it, let it overwhelm her senses and transport her outside the passage of time. She knew that when her senses returned and she was left with the memory of unimaginable bliss, she would open her eyes again and have his looking back at her.