A tangled Web we cut
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
...III...
ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
...III...
AN: Many of this is paraphrased stuff given to me by Wolvenstrom, sorry buddy. I remembered them the best I could!
...
"I just don't understand this, it shouldn't be possible for ANY of us to have kids!" Exclaimed Omnitraxius.
"Well, I don't know about 'impossible', difficult MAYBE. I really wasn't paying attention when I making those parts so I can't really say one way or another... heck, I don't even remember for certain giving you genitals or not..." Says Glossaryck out loud as he scratches his chin thoughtfully.
Omnitraxius blushed and crossed his legs as many girls in the room giggled...
"ENOUGH!" Shouts Rhombulus, "When are we going to punish this bastard for violating Hekapoo!?" He demanded.
"Wha- Violated!? I'm sorry, what do you think is happening here?!" Demanded Hekapoo annoyed.
"He stuck his fuck-stick into you, and now I'm going to chop it off!"
"You do that, I cut off your balls and feed them to your snakes!" Shouts Hekapoo as his snakes go greener
"Well, Excuse me from protecting you from getting violated!" He snapped.
Hekapoo face palms and groans, "Do you even know what that word MEANS?"
"What's to know? He touched you in your private areas and now I'm going to kill him for it!"
"ENOUGH! Rhombulous...just...just go home. Clearly your in for a LONG overdue talk about the 'wands and the Hoodlums.'" Said Glossaryck awkwardly.
Rhombulus grumbles but obeys.
So they kept discussing things, and it was decided that while moving to Earth and having a family might cause some problems for Hekapoo's job...there were ways to workaround it...
Glossaryck alluded that they could be a great help keeping order in the magical universe should they choose to when their older...although he also said that now he was going to have to postpone his retirement much to everyone's confusion...
Meanwhile, Marco had his own business to deal with...
...
Jackie looked at Marco in stunned disbelief, "Why? Why do all that just to get some scissors back?" She asked baffled.
Marco sighed, "It was my screwing around that allowed Hekapoo to realize what was happening and come to confiscate it...and while it WAS technically stolen it was still one of Star's most prized possession. What kind of man would I have been if I didn't own up to my mistakes?"
nearby Lori rolled her eye's, "Dad, mom's scissors are valuable and obviously I'm glad that you continued your quest to meet mom and have me...but it was freaking SCISSORS not her lover! Besides, from what you told us about her...if you HADN'T done it; at WORST she'd have been pissed for awhile, drowned her sorrows in sugar packets, then forgot what happened the next day when the next shiny thing showed up..."
Jackie snickered, "Yep, that's Star alright."
Marco ignored her, "Look Jackie I'm sorry...I honestly thought everyone here had thought I was dead and moved on...I never meant to hurt you...I gotta be with my wife and kids and I don't rgret having them...I'd like it if we at least tried to be friends...but if you want nothing more to do with me that's fine too and I'll respect your wishes.
Jackie smiled, "It's fine Marco."
Marco looked at her surprised. "Really? Your okay with this? But it's so-
"So What? Weird? Marco, being around star- if nothing else -has kinda desensitized me to weird. Plus...well, honestly? I'm kinda releived about how this turned out..."
Marco looked confused. "Relieved?"
"Okay, don't get the wrong idea. You were good friend and good devoted boyfriend...but you spent most of your time with Star having mad-action packed adventures! Let's be honest...if I was a character a TV show...it be the satellite love interest who's only really there and be filler and an occasional complication until it's resolved with the 'main characters' getting together."
Marco looked at her baffled, "You thought I was going to end up with Star?"
Jackie shrugged, "Weren't you? Opposites attract and all that?"
Marco looked to be in deep thought...then shook his head. "Well, maybe. It's hard to really remember...but even if that was where I was going, it doesn't matter now. I have my family and that's all that matters...but I am sorry I made you feel like that."
Jackie shrugged, "No sweat, between that and certain other things that have popped up in my personal life...I kinda made my peace that I was on the way out." She frowns, "Although I'd by lying if I said I wished it hadn't ended on such a crazy, kinda messed up note..."
"Were sorry." Said Lincoln sadly.
Jackie's eyes widen, "What? No, no! I didn't mean it like that! Never be ashamed of existing little guy!" Said Jackie warmly as she gives him a hug...
Lincoln blushes as he's enveloped by two giant 'marshmallows'...
He smiles to himself, 'I think I'm gonna like it here on earth...'
...
Principal Skeeves was reluctant to accept so many new students at once...in the five seconds before Hekapoo dropped a huge load of gold and jewels on his desk.
"Dungeon crawling can be quite profitable when you have a nerd of a husband who knows how to invest and budget."
"Yeah, well this 'nerd' made sure we had enough money to feed, cloth and house eleven kids for 24 years." Snarked back Marco.
"Touche."
...
A quick aptitude test had shown that the kids had inherited the instinctual grasp of quantum mathematics and dark matter physics that allow Hekapoo to create her interdimensional scissors.
Despite this, Marco and Hekapoo preferred they stay in classes their own age group so they could learn to socialize...although the were willing to make an exception for Lisa after her first day in pre-school ended with half the class eaten by a giant blob...
"Hey, this is not on me! I warned her the mass would gain sentience if I didn't keep cheeking on it, but NO! She just laughed my concerns away and insisted I have nap time!" She shouted to the police as the pre-school burned down behind her...
They decided to at least move her up to Lincolns age group...although at his request, she was put in a different class then him...he was looking forward to spending time with people who were NOT his sisters...
...
People at school were surprisingly chill about a group of half-demons showing up...about as chill as they were with Star actually...
"Huh, I never realized it before...but why is no one ever freaking out about anything magical...?"
"Because this version of earth is- more or less -filled with apathetic morons who can't be bothered to worry about anything. Why do you think I arranged for Star to learn here? Less people complaining about their homes burning to the ground, give me SOME credit here, man." Said Glossaryck as he rolled his eyes.
...but let's get back to the Diaz siblings...
Lola was eager to show-off to people NOT her siblings, so when she saw a flyer for a 'pageant'...she entered...
YOU MAKE ME PRINCESS!
YOU MAKE ME PRINCESS OR I'LL SUMMON THE SCREAMING KING OF YELLOW INTO YOUR LEFT EAR!
Screamed Lola as she dangled the judges over a swirling vortex of brimstone and agony...
One of the Judges sighed, "It says something about my life that this isn't the first time a contestant has done this to me..."
...
Lana was happy to expand his pet collection...
"Giddy-up partners!" Shouted Lana as he rode the komodo dragon like a horse while all the other children cheered and the teachers panicked.
...
Lucy sighed in disappointment as the local Goth club fled in terror from the demons she'd summoned into the club house. "Posers! What kind of lovers of darkness and despair doesn't love to watch to demons murder each other in bloodsport?!" Lucy sighed, "Why did mom and Dad want me to come here?...I was perfectly happy in the dark abyss of our home."
"Don't be sad sweetheart, here...take Bills head as a trophy. I got plenty mounted on my wall already." Said the five armed demon the looked like a scrotum as he handed over the losers head...
Lucy smiled and thanked him...
...
Lynn had tried out for sports...she was quick to become captain of all teams-
"24, 32, 7, Hik- GAH!
Screamed the Quarterback of the opposing team as he and his entire team was completely bowled over by Lynn-
BOOM!
As was the the side of the stadium and Gymnasium...
"Dang it girl, we don't mind you crippling the other team, but buildings are expensive! I have half a mind to call your father!" Shouted Mrs. Skullnick
"You don't have to call me, I'm right here." Said Marco flatly as he sat on the bleacher beside her.
Skullnick blinked several times. "Oh...right...wow, this is going to be weird to adjust to..."
"It's even weirder then you think, I can't come to the parent teacher conference tonight because I'll be busy doing an assignment YOU gave me."
"Oh...right...Uh...I could give you a couple days extension, I guess?" Said Skullnick as she scratched her head baffled on how to handle this...
"Thank you." Said Marco simply and said nothing more, not wanting to make things more difficult for the clearly VERY confused and weirded out teacher-turned-troll.
Marco was seen in a new light by many at the school...and not just because of his 'kids', hot wife and dragon motorcycle- although that was a huge part of it.
Gone was the socially awkward 'safety kid', in his place was a very mature and capable father-figure to anyone who needed help. His leadership, organization, and diplomatic skills had been sharpened after years of negotiating prices and keeping the peace in his wacky family...
This of course made him very popular...
Which also lead to some problems...
"Right, Mam. I got a tip that your having an illegal relationship with an underage minor..." Said an officer to an annoyed Hekapoo.
"Let me get this straight; you refused to get involved in magic when I was kidnapped by a megalomaniac monster. But when it comes to breaking apart my family, THEN you'll get involved?"
"Wait, magic's involved? Well, why didn't you say so? I wash my hands of this whole thing!" Said the officer as he walked away.
From nearby Britney Wong cursed that incompetent officer, 'Dang it, if he'd just arrested that magical foreigner then that Diaz boy would be putty in my hand-
Suddenly she felt something cold to her throat. Marco glared at her as he held a knife to her throat. "Listen to me you spoiled brat; I slaughter the machine army of Demonica, I slayed the impossibeast of Koll, I solved the riddle of whu-pas-win! Do you think of scared of a whiny brat who would be nothing without her daddy's credit card! I'll make this very clear; you try to cause problems for my family again and I will slice you up so badly it'll take fifty enigmatologists and forty crowbars to put you back together!"
...
Brittney transferred to a new school the next day...
People also celebrated until the day after THAT...
...
The comedy club ran in fear as their founder Bon Bon was returned to them as a ghost!
Luan looked annoyed as they fled. "What kind of clown dosen't want to meet a fellow clown?! You could've told me you don't like clowns before I did all that work to summon him, I'm DEAD tired now!" She laughs at that last bit.
"Good one kid!" Laughs Bon Bon.
...
They say our summer vacation has come to an end
And we simply have no more holidays to spend
They say "No more barefoot, no playing around the pool"
They say now it's time for us to "Go back to school"
Got all my friends and a teacher, okay
But why do we really have to study all day?
Well, see I'm on to your scam and I'll tell ya how
We ended up with a Fall that we know in all
A time was invented to keep the kids in the hall
They gave it a name and we all know it is 'Fall'
The line of the story that I have presented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Though some things in Fall are just too good to pass
Jumping in leaves and Halloween is a gas
But I'd rather see to it that the truth be told
So I better do it now before I grow old
They wanted a break after the summer disarray
To rest up then handle the stress of Christmas day
So the grown ups got together and made up the rule
That kids shouldn't be playing, no they should be in school
A time was invented to keep the kids in the hall
They gave it a name and we all know it is 'Fall'
The line of the story that I have presented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Kick it!
Shouts Luna as she causes the stage to burst in intense yet non-lethal flames...
A time was invented to keep the kids in the hall
They gave it a name and we all know it is 'Fall'
The line of the story that I have presented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented!
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Fall is just something that grown ups invented
Luna wiped off the sweat from her brow as the jam session ended. "Thanks for inviting me to join your band Jackie...but are you sure your okay with...y'know...me being here?"
Jackie rolls her eyes but smiles, "Look Luna, I've had my fair share of bad break-up's. If the worst that happened from this one is that Marco had a rocking daughter that is basically a one man band and Hollywood special effects department and one son who's bad at hiding how much he likes OLDER woman- they both share a snicker about that -than I'm willing to call it even!"
"Righteous!" Shouts Luna as both she and her high-five.
"Oh, just so you know...Sam would be TOTALLY into what we were talking about earlier if you asked..." She says with a helpful wink that makes Luna blush...
...
Leni enjoyed her time at the sewing club...
"Wow Leni, thanks for making me this rocking swimsuit! "Shouted Swimsuit wearing a pretty pink one-piece...that now gave her deadly knives for arms and laser eyes!?
"What the!?" Shouts Sabrina before the force of the laser activating smashes her through the wall.
"Your welcome! It's the latest safety feature!" Shouts Leni oblivious.
"Leni! Your shoes!" Shouts another kid as he's carried off into the sky be wing-clad sandals...
"I know! Super cute, right? I tots outdid myself!" Shouts a clueless Leni as he continues to sew...
...
Bobby Santiago didn't know what to think when the former safety kid-turned father of many came dragging his cute eldest by the ear.
"Daddy! Don't make me do this!" Leni cried in pain and embarrassment.
"Nope, you lost all right to do this your way when you brought a kraken to school for HIM- points to a still very confused Bobby -to fight to the death!"
"But that's how you and mom's first date went!"
"Not by choice! And even if that wasn't the case, I was a trained warrior at that point! He's just a normal teenager!" He turns to him with a sigh. "Sorry about her, she has a messed up view of romance thanks to her mother an me. So this is partially on us."
"Uh...that's okay?" Said Bobby unsure.
"Great, so she wants to ask you out. Interested?"
Lori went bright red, "Dad! You can't just-
"Yeah, okay. Sure." Said Bobby happily.
Lori looked at him stunned.
"Great, is 5:00 pm tomorrow good for you?" Asked Marco.
"Uh, I'll have to check with my mom. But it should be..."
"Great, call us when your sure." He then releases Lori. "See? Right there! Easiest thing in the world!"
Lori looked at him annoyed, "Didn't you spend years of your life giving a 'nod' to the girl you-
"You know, I can still ground you right?" Interrupts Marco.
"I'll be good." Said Lori quickly.
...
Lincoln whistled as he set up a lawn chair by a lake in a secluded area. He was still adjusting to being on earth...but his grandparents were nice...his classmates seemed nice...Star seemed VERY nice...
Lincoln shakes the blush away, in any case. Time to do his favorite pastime: Reading comics naked!
He could technically still do it back at his previous home...but his sisters were always barging in...and he couldn't do it outside, as the monsters seemed to be drawn to people skinny dipping or at least just being naked...
But here, he could do this without fear of being eaten or caught! He strips down to his birthday suite and jumps on the chair.
"Ah, nothing but me, my comic, my skin and the sunlight...what could be better?"
...
Ronnie Santiago blinked at the sight of a naked demon boy on the other side of the lake through her bird-watching binoculars. "What the frack?" She says with a blush...
…III...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Go to my P,a,t,r,e,o,n account!
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