Going to switch POV later in this chapter. Hope you enjoy ;)

Chapter 4: Yin and Yang

A few months later, Robert was getting better. He and I had talked a little and done friend things, but he never tried going further with me. I knew he needed time to heal, time to feel better about himself as a person. I, however, found myself relapsing. I couldn't help but be selfish. I wanted more. I knew it was the right thing to do to talk to Robert about his feelings that night, but it didn't mean I didn't want the other ending. Some nights I would dream about that fiery kiss and then the dream would ramp up to just as we're about to have sex... before ending. Just like that night. I found myself distancing myself from Robert. I wanted more from the relationship and he was not ready for that yet. It didn't mean I was going to exclude him from Andrew's graduation party though.

Robert didn't talk about bringing a plus one, but I was certain he had brought one. The woman shared his dark skin tone and eyes. Her gaze, like his, carried a weight of a thousand words with only ten said. I take a quick swig from my hip flask, put it away, and go over to her.

"Hey, I don't think we've been formerly introduced," I began.

"Oh, we've met. Years ago," she said. "And I'm here for my revenge."

I gave a short laugh and said, "I figured you must've been Val, Robert's daughter."

"Spot on. I guess that makes you Carrie, huh?" she asked as we briefly shook hands.

"Yep, that's me. It's good to meet you. I'm glad Robert brought you along."

She shrugged. "He promised there would be free food, so that's kinda hard to pass up and... look, I don't know you, but can I get real with you for a sec?

"My old man's a real closed book, you know? Me and him, we got a long way to go. You don't erase decades of neglect in a week, but you sure can get tired of staying angry about it. That kind of bitterness... it poisons you, I think. I'm too young for that. Anyway, lately he's been... better. A lot better. Between him shaving for once and how much he talks about you, I get the feeling you have something to do with it. So... thanks."

I was still reeling over the fact Robert talked about me to his daughter. I tried not to overthink it, but it was hard, especially with my weeping heart. When Val finished talking, I found myself and said, "Yeah, no prob. Robert means a lot to me. I'm glad he's getting better." Even though the knife is twisting deeper in my heart, I can find some gladness seeing Robert getting better.

"Just... keep an eye on him while I'm not around, okay? Or else."

I scoffed. "What?"

"I'm kidding... or am I?" After a moment, she said, "I don't know why I'm like this."

"I think it runs in the family." Just then, Andrew comes over and the two talk. I unintentionally tune out the conversation.

I lost track of the time. The last of the guests were leaving. Andrew comes up to me and asks, "Hey, you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm good. How'd you like the party?" I ask.

"It was good. Thanks, Mom. I'm going to go hang out with the Eddie's. Cool?"

"Yeah, go ahead. Have fun." He surprises me with a hug.

"It'll be okay, Mom."

"I know." So long as I have Jack, I'm fine. Jack Daniels is the only man I need.

"K. See you later." He waved and left.

I sigh and take a look around the yard. The nice thing about having single dads for neighbors is that they clean up after themselves. I was almost disappointed. I could've used with a distraction. Looking to the bench beneath the cherry tree, I saw one last guest still chilling. Robert.

I went over and sat down by him. "Hey," he said.

"Hey," I returned. The silence was suffocating. I think Robert knew I wasn't my usual chipper self. I'd be dumb to think he didn't notice I'd been avoiding him lately.

He broke the silence with a gesture to the snack table. "Good stuff," he said.

"Thanks." I feel an itch to take a drink. I ignore it. "So... I had a chance to meet Val."

"She physically threaten you?"

"Yeah."

"That's my girl." That elicits a short laugh from me.

"She said you've been doing better."

"Trying to work on the vices. I also showered today." That would explain why he's smelling so good... not that he smelled bad before, but... Man, I have it bad for this man. I figured we probably couldn't share a drink like we used to, so I refrained from offering. I tried focusing on the smells of the season, but Robert's manly musk kept permeating my nose.

I hadn't realized we were in silence until Robert spoke again. "You know, every day for me is a battle against my own self-destructive habits, but... lately, it's gotten a little easier. Thanks for talking some sense into me. It's hard to get things through my thick skull sometimes, but... what you said that night has actually helped."

"I'm glad."

"I like you, Carrie. I like you a lot. I haven't felt this way about someone in a long time." The blood rushed to my ears and I wasn't sure if this was just another dream. It was a loaded statement, but it felt like there was a 'but' coming. I want to kiss him so badly. Anything. Even a touch. I cup his cheek in one hand and smile. It's the best I can manage and I'm sober enough not to go too far. He took my hand in his.

He said, "You're special to me, but I have some stuff I need to work on... uh, emotionally... before I can get into anything romantic with you. You deserve better than who I am right now. I need to be on my own for a bit, figure some things out."

"Of course," I said, pulling my hand away. It was getting harder and harder to be supportive. At least now he says he likes me. That night... I couldn't think long on how he made me feel that night. Like I was an object. It was shameful I wanted to go back to that, now that Robert was trying to be respectful. I rubbed my hands contemplatively as I said, "I think what you need right now is a friend and I'm happy to be that for you."

"Thank you. That means a lot to me." He matches my hunched over pose. We each sit with our own weights on our shoulders.

"And if you're ever ready for more than that, you know where to find me."

"Let's hunt ghosts sometime?"

"Sure. I'd really love that." Maybe I can pretend that night never happened. Maybe we can go back to how it was. It wasn't what was best for Robert, but I missed those days. We sat, watching the sun dip below the horizon in silence. If he and I were the same kind of ready, it might've been better. As it was, I headed inside with a "Good night, Robert."

"Night," he said.

Three months sober. For Robert, they were foreign words. Val helped him install an app on his phone that allowed them to video chat and they had come to talk for a few minutes almost every day. He had gone to a few therapy sessions to come to terms with some things, get in touch with himself. He felt better than he had in a long time.

His thumb hovered over the Siingle app on his phone, wanting to delete it. He didn't need what it had to offer anymore. Yet... that seemed to be the only way he could talk to Carrie anymore. She had started taking longer hours at her job. He barely saw her. She always said she was fine, but lately she looked... less than sober. With Andrew away at college, she had become more of a recluse. Robert would sit on his porch some nights and watch her. She always looked like Atlas, carrying a huge weight on her shoulders. Robert wasn't sure if he was good enough for her yet or ready for the responsibility of helping someone else.

One night, Carrie didn't come home. He didn't know if she was working late or not. She never took the third shift before, so he doubted she would take it now. His thoughts were disrupted by his phone ringing. It was Neil, the bartender of Jim-N-Kim's. The two seen so much of each other, they were friends, especially after how many times Robert needed a drive home. This better not be about Mary, he thought.

"Hey, Robert, you might wanna come down here," said Neil.

"Mary?" asked Robert.

"Nope. Carrie. I figured you were the best one to call to help her get home. She's passed out in one of the booths."

"All right. I'm on my way." Though Jim-N-Kim's wasn't far to walk to, it would be better to drive.

When Robert got to the small bar, he felt a shiver go down his spine. I'm past this. I can do this. He walked in and was greeted by most of the patrons. He waved as he walked toward Neil. The bartender pointed to a familiar booth near the back. That's the same booth we sat in on that night. He walked over and found her on her back, her legs spilling over the end of the booth and feet dangling inches from the floor. A mostly finished bottle and an overturned glass sat on the table. He reached into the booth and picked her up bridal style. Her head and arms lolled about. Robert didn't know whether to be more impressed or concerned.

Carrie didn't stir until the truck had parked in her driveway. "Whoa, what the fuck?" she slurred.

"Geez, you didn't even finish the whole bottle," said Robert.

"You took the shecond one? You bastard." She went to slap him, but fell forward toward the console. Robert caught her and set her upright.

"Stay put, I'm coming around the other side."

"I don't need your help." She opened the door, but held onto the handle too long. She swung out with the door and let go only to hit the pavement.

Robert ran over and put one of her arms around his shoulders, helping her to stand. It was unexpectedly difficult getting her down the driveway and up her porch. "All right, where're your keys?"

"Uh... pocket...? Pocket or pot, one of those two one." Robert shook her jacket and heard keys jingling. He took them out, opened the screen door, and unlocked the house. At least it wasn't hard to find which key was which. He shut the door and was surprised at how clean the house was. "I clean everyday. Then, I drink."

"Busy life." Robert walked her down the hall and found her room. "All right, time for sleep," he said, putting her on the bed.

"Not sleepy. I need a drink." She reached into her shirt and pulled out a small flask. There was probably only a teaspoon left in the small container. She drained it and was disappointed. "Why does everything I love leave me?" She sniffed, tears coming to her eyes.

Robert gingerly took the flask from her and set it on the nightstand. "I'm still here, Carrie."

She laughed then. It was the laugh of the broken and despairing. "You're nearly 40 years old and I'm still more mature than you, motherfucker. You had to have your fuckin' space and be alone to figure out your life and shit. Why didn't you already have that figured out? Maybe then I coulda jumped your bones instead of spending all these nights dreaming of a sexcapade that's never gonna happen!"

"Carrie, I didn't love you then. You're too good a person to waste on meaningless sex."

"I can't keep waiting, Robert. I'm lonely. What do you want me to do, spell it in gasoline and set it on fire? I want you. I need you, Robert. I love you. It hurts how much these feelings, man."

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long, but you don't get over alcoholism in one night. I didn't get my relationship with Val in one night. Those things took time... and I'm prepared to take time with you. I should have noticed how you were feeling, done something about it. Maybe I coulda taken you to my AA meetings, I don't know."

"I'm not goin' to fuckin' AA."

"You don't have to, but they've helped me. Maybe they can help you." He was close to her. She sat on the bed while he was on his knees on the floor. As he looked into her teary eyes, she suddenly reached forward and hugged his head. He could hear her heart beat, the air in her lungs.

"Stay. Please." Her words her whispers. If he hadn't been so close, he might've missed them.

"I'll stay."

"You better not leave in the morning."

"I won't. I promise."

"Promises..." Carrie let him go and lay down on the bed. She turned on her side and faced away from him, curling into a ball. Robert sighed. He took her shoes and jacket off and pulled the covers to her chin. She let him do it, though she was barely conscious. He went into the living room and put her jacket and shoes by the door. He laid on the couch and covered himself with the thick afghan that had been draped across the top cushions.

I woke up with the mother of all hangovers. I must've blacked out. What happened last night? I remembered going to Jim-N-Kim's, drinking a bottle down and starting another. Then what? Who brought me home? Neil must've called me a cab. I should pay him back later. I curled up to go back to sleep only to hear a sound that was out of place. Who's running the blender? And also, OW.

I was alarmed, but my ringing skull didn't allow a lot of quick movement. I pulled a pair of sunglasses from my nightstand drawer and put them over my face. I should probably grab a weapon. I remembered I kept Daniel's bat in my closet. I grabbed it and warily headed out of my room, down the hall.

I came to the kitchen and Robert was there, pouring a smoothie into a glass. I blinked hard. "You wanna hit me with that, good luck. I still carry around five knives in my pockets," he said.

"Your teeny little pocket knives? I got more reach. Your head's gone if you so much as blink funny," I quipped.

He smiled and set a tall glass on the bar. "Here, drink this. You'll feel better."

"Why are you here?"

"I promised I'd stay. Figured I might as well help you with that hangover. Considering how wasted you were, it's probably best to do liquids for a little while."

In that, a piece of the puzzle clicked into place. "You brought me home last night."

"Yep."

I wracked my brain, trying to remember. "Did I... do or say anything weird last night?"

"Oh, yeah, we totally fucked. Great sex, by the way."

My eyes widened. No, I'd remember that... wouldn't I? His eyes twinkled with that familiar glint. "I'm just kidding," he said. Then, "Or am I?"

"Robert..."

"Right, hungover. Sorry I ran the blender. I didn't wanna eat in front of you and have you runnin' away. Want any aspirin?"

"Bread box," I said as I pointed. I groaned. Everything was too loud and too bright and I was in no mood for any emotional bullshit.

Robert opened the bottle and poured a couple tablets out. After putting the bottle away, he sat back down by me and drank some of his smoothie. I drank some of the glass he poured me and was somewhat disappointed to find it to be plain old water. I drank half the glass and plopped the two aspirin in my mouth before finishing the glass. I went to the fridge to fill my glass before sitting next to Robert again.

I broke the silence with, "Why is it that neither of our lives are good at the same time?"

"Dunno. Yin and Yang, I guess. Life needs a balance."

"Do you think we'll ever be both okay at the same time?"

"I hope so, Carrie. I hope so."

We were quiet a bit before Robert asked, "D'ya want me to leave now?"

"Since when did you need permission? I prefer you as the come and go as you please type of guy," I replied. I realized I hadn't answered the question, so I added, "I'd prefer it if you stayed a while. If you can, that is."

"Whatever you want."

Another silence reigned before I said, "I liked it when you had the plan. I prefer it that way with guys I like."

He thought over what I said for a moment. "You up for followin' me?" he finally asked.

"Always." I gave the glasses and blender a rinse before putting them in the dishwasher. Then, after a pit-stop for coat and shoes, I followed Robert out the door. He got in his truck and I hopped in the passenger side. The journey wasn't as long as I was expecting since he only put it in his own driveway a couple houses down.

Robert stepped out and I followed him into his house. Inside, Betsy approached us with a waggle butt and tongue. I gave her some pats before following Robert to the living room. "Go ahead and make yourself comfortable," he said.

"Does Betsy like to be held?" I asked.

"Yeah, go ahead." With permission granted, I patted my lap and Betsy leaped up. She settled into my lap and I started petting her. Robert picked out a movie before drawing the shades and sitting down with me. After a few button presses, he seemed satisfied. He leaned back and put an arm on the back of the couch, leaning closer to me.

After two good movies, Robert ordered pizza. It came and we consumed it as the third movie played. As the day progressed, Betsy went about her business while Robert and I sat comfy, enjoying the magic of cinema.

The fifth movie was an action movie with a love story. I hadn't noticed until then how close Robert and I had gotten. His arm was unashamedly around my shoulders now and I was leaning my head against his chest. I looked up at him briefly. He seemed to be invested in the movie. I sighed happily, for the first time in a while.

Robert paused the movie. "You feeling better now?" he asked.

"Yeah," I replied.

He smiled. "Good." There was something else he wanted to say, I could tell.

I poked his ribs. "Come on, out with it."

He gave me a meaningful look and said, "As you wish." I blushed and looked away. He came in close and softly asked, "Can I kiss you?"

"Always," I replied just as soft. He put one hand at the back of my head and kissed. It was the sweetest kiss I had experienced in a long time. The only one who came close was Daniel.

The kiss wasn't long, but I still felt it after he pulled away. He moved his hand to my cheek. I put one of my hands over his. For a moment, we were both young and new. For a moment, there had never been a Daniel or a Marilyn. He kissed me again and I knew that waiting, though painful, had been worth the while. It was only a few kisses before we went back to the movie and I finally felt peace. Everything that had been weighing me down seemed less important now. It was clear to me now: Robert loved me, truly. He wouldn't have gotten here without some work. He learned to love himself, so he could better love others. Yeah, it was worth the wait. Concluding that thought, we spent the rest of the evening watching movies across varying genres and time periods. All were good picks.

That night, Robert walked me home. He gave me another kiss that seemed more like the ones he had given before: deep and longing. When we broke free, I asked, "Why are you kissing me like it's good-bye?"

"You still want my company?" he asked.

"Of course!"

He smiled. "All right. I might just take you up on that offer sometime soon."

"I look forward to it." I smiled.

I wanted something simpler for Robert than I did with Damien for the fourth chapter of that story. I think it still turned out pretty good. There's still more to come, so look for the next chapter next week! Please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :)