A/N: Happy New Year! I finished another chapter – and it is still winter break, who figured. It is Lilly-heavy chapter once more, so I do apologize if that isn't what you are looking for exactly. I feel like I need to get this whole Stein debacle moving and, more importantly, over with, but it is going to take the words it is going to take. Nevertheless, I hope you'll enjoy it :). Thank you for reading and thank you, Kareneb, for reviewing the previous chapter!

Lilly:

Being able to focus turned out to be a blessing and a curse. Engrossing herself into her work until the point where she barely noticed anything around her was doing wonders to not think about the last couple of days.

On the downside, when a coworker quietly asked her a question, it almost made her want to crawl out of her skin, jump up and run away. The first time she had attributed it to being so focused but that self-explanation got weaker and weaker when it happened a second, third and fourth time in the last couple two days.

Soon, even the people who weren't cued in by the centralized team hotline would know that something was up. Lilly could feel the control of her emotions slowly slip away and feared the moment she would run out completely.

Even though she appreciated all Booth did and was doing for her and their amicable friendship, she knew she wasn't going to open up to him. Lance had already told her Booth wasn't going to let her move out until he knew she was okay and wouldn't have to fear reprisals from Stein. She knew herself good enough that if she opened up, she would want to run out of the room afterward. That wouldn't work well when Booth was following her everywhere for her safety. Truth be told, the idea that she might still have to fear Stein scared her and most likely added to her jumpiness. She had tried to deny it had happened, the well famous ostrich strategy, and for a couple of days it had felt like it had actually been working. But, when Sweets had stopped her only a couple of days ago, her tactics had begun to fail her. It was hard to get that conversation out of her head, especially since she knew he was right.

To top it off, last night one of Booth's neighbors had gotten home late and from the rather loud sounds of it, said person had been drunk. Startled by the noise, Lilly had woken up from her sleep. It had taken her a second to remember she was in the bedroom of Booth's son and her heart had pounded in her chest as she had felt uncharacteristically unsafe during the rumblings in the hallway.

As if panicking like a toddler that feared monsters under her bed wasn't bad enough, she been unable to fall back asleep for hours afterward. Her thoughts had kept her up as she kept replaying Stein's words over and over again. Meditation, and - when she had grown more desperate - even counting sheep, hadn't helped calm down the whirlwind of thoughts. Eventually, she had found a light slumber again, but it felt like she had only closed her eyes for a second before the sun had peaked through the blinds. Her alarm had killed off every last bit of hope for a full night of sleep and at that point, she had been certain she wouldn't be able to keep up with the façade she had created. She felt restless, like all the thoughts in her head were going to cause it to explode.

How she had made it out of Booth's apartment without getting caught by Booth's observing eye was a miracle, but one she was very thankful for. Booth hadn't even questioned her when she had told him she needed to go to the Hoover, even though he was due at the Jeffersonian within two hours, so it obviously wasn't one of Lilly's FBI days.

Sweets:

Suddenly the door to Dr. Sweets' office swung open and miss Lilly Johnson nearly stormed in. Seeing he was with a patient, she was quick to mumble an apology. She looked rushed, worried, and, for the intern's standards, somewhat disheveled. Surprised Sweets stared at her. It wasn't like her to be disrespectful of his appointments or work in general. Neither was just walking in without knocking. For a second, he turned his focus back to the agent on his couch. Quickly he thanked the man for his time and that they could continue their conversation next week at the same time.

Sweets waited until the man had left them alone. Shifting in his chair he looked at Lilly as he pointed to the now empty chair, gesturing her to take a seat. "I am not used to you barging in and forgetting social norms."

Ashamed of her rudeness, she rubbed the back of her neck. "I... am sorry. I didn't think that through. But you said you were available at any time if I wanted to talk and I've been tossing and turning most of the night, so this morning my first logic thought was coming here. I really could use your insights."

Flattered, Sweets nodded. "I understand. I am glad you came. What is on your mind?"

Instead of her looking more relaxed now she had his undivided attention and would be able to get a load off, she actually looked more worried. "Maybe... I... okay this was a bad idea." Lilly said, sighing, ready to get up out of her seat.

Wordlessly he told her to stay where she was. "Now, wait a minute. You look raddled, tired, nervous even, you came here to talk and I am here. I know you haven't told anyone about what exactly happened and there is no need to get into that today, of course, I hope that in one of the later sessions you will be able to share that, but for now, just tell me what is on your mind." What would have happened that she was here, just a couple of minutes after 9 am?

Lilly shrugged uncomfortably, letting out a frustrated sigh. "I don't really now. It is like I can't stop thinking, but I keep getting stuck in the same loop of annoying thoughts. It kept me from falling asleep last night. And at the office, I sort of half panic when I hear footsteps."

"Hmm." Sweets hummed. "Any particular thoughts that you can't seem to get off your mind?" He saw the look on her face, like she needed to mentally prepare herself to tell him. "Listen, you don't have to tell me anything you are not ready to share. We can totally work from where you want to start. Just start with what comes to mind first."

Lilly nodded gratefully for his reassurance and then blurted out: "I keep thinking I should have been nicer to him."

"You mean to the man who assaulted you?"

"Stein and yes," Lilly said softly.

"Why?"

"Well, isn't it obvious? If I had been nicer then maybe this wouldn't have happened."

"Maybe", Sweets admitted. "But there might be just an as big a chance that it still would have happened. Agent Booth told me about the encounter you and he had a couple of days earlier before Friday. Matter of the fact is, this Stein fellow might not have stopped before he would have gotten you into his bed."

A tear made its way down her cheek. "So, you agree that it could have helped", she whispered.

"That really isn't what I am trying to say... it is exactly the opposite of what I am trying to say." He could see how she hadn't wanted this dam to burst, especially if she had foreseen that she would be victim blaming herself, but really, it was inevitable. Sure, some people were capable of pushing down their feelings for years, decades even, but unresolved events would always find a way back to the surface. "Yes, there is always that chance. Naturally, I don't know exactly what happened that Friday night, but based on what I do know, the chances of telling him no as politely as possible, probably wouldn't have gotten through to him. I think there is a bigger chance that whatever you did didn't really matter towards this outcome. Unless you were ready to give him what he wanted. But regardless of probabilities, it is not your fault that it happened. It is him who should have changed his behavior, not you."

"But I kept pissing him off with my comebacks, if I hadn't done that, he wouldn't have been so angry."

"Again, maybe, maybe not." Lance paused to think of a way to explain this best to Lilly. "You are well versed in causality, yes? Take one chain out of the series of events and the outcome wouldn't have happened, that kind of thing, right?"

Lilly nodded, that had indeed been the basis of her reasoning.

"There are many different ways to Rome. Even if one chain wouldn't have happened. Like what you're saying: if you would have told him off in the nicest way manageable by mankind, there still could be a million of other possible replacement chains that eventually could have made Stein confront you. You are not the one to blame. "

Lilly nodded again. "And... If I... Booth... He warned me and told me to call him when something happened. I keep thinking about that too. Like... What if I had called Booth earlier? What if I, I don't know, had walked out of the building holding my phone, already having Booth on speed dial just in case Stein would have approached me?"

"As a means to prevent it? I don't think so. Even when we only take logic into account, agent Booth might have not been able to get to you any faster. There are many variables to this question too. It is very natural to mull over alternative outcomes, but you can't change what happened or sometimes even what happens just by will."

A knock sounded on the door.

Looking past Lilly, Sweets saw that it was his next appointment. "I am sorry to say but my next appointment is here. Would you like to pick this up tomorrow or at the end of the business day?" He didn't want to leave her hanging and she was making progress. The first step of trusting someone to open up to was really important and he hated to cut it short, but there wasn't a suitable alternative.

"Yes, though tomorrow should be more than soon enough. You already gave me more than enough to think about for now and I understand you have other… patients."

A/N: I have several ideas for the next couple of chapters. The hardest thing is to get them into an order that still makes sense. I promise I won't make all of you suffer through too many Sweets sessions XD. Thank you for reading!