Are our Lives Worth it?
The passion exploding through their bodies, hands wondering to places they never dared to roam, the eye contact broken when the pleasure took hold, regaining their sanity before allowing the primal instincts takes hold.
The soft skin brushed against his knuckle as Mikasa's shirt was removed, the moans as Alan kissed her neck, returning the favour his own grey shirt removed effortlessly, the clanging of metal colliding around his neck. Marvelling the view in front as her cheeks grew brighter with every moment, closing her eyes as she removed the last fabric from above the waist.
Hissing in air at the sight of her mounds, perking as the mountains suddenly hidden from view as she covered herself with her arms, anxious, embarrassed, it was a delightful sight, slowly removing her arms, panting his own lips against hers, her moans grew louder, slowly Alan placed his fingers on her breasts, brushing his fingers slightly on her nipples, eliciting a delightful squeal. Feeling her eyes, bearing onto him, his own signature eyebrow raised fashioned on her own features. Giving a smug grin, returned to her lips once more.
The urges grew as her lower body grinded against his own mound, Alan growling at the urge she's tempting him with, a pull at the waist demanding for him to remove the clothing caging his friend to say hello. Giving in Alan removed both his trousers and underclothes, freeing the titan (An exaggeration that can be shot down if he got too cocky about it).
Blinking down towards the newly arrival Mikasa's hands wrapped round, feeling the thickness, curious as she examined the rod, unconsciously moved her hands in a vertical motion, learning Alan's reactions as he gritted his teeth, small moans escaping, his eyes flew open, grunting with each movement, her own body growing hot at his composure breaking under her own hands, exciting her even more. Building the courage, Mikasa slowly slipped her own trousers and underclothes while moving on top of him, watching his eyes widen at her sight, his hungry stare watches her hands moving down, holding himself back, even in his state he resisted taking her for his own. Feeling his hands worm down her back, caressing the skin on his journey. Sending a tickling sensation, sending jolts down her spine until both his hands reaching its destination, grabbing firm on her hind quarters. Mikasa moaning, in surprise as his fingers caressed between the cheeks, near one entrance that sends chills through her body, her eye raising in question, did he do this type of thing before? In truth Alan saw Garrus doing this to Sasha when he accidently caught them a few times, research purposes when he started having thoughts with Mikasa.
Having enough as her primary entrance, feeling wet from his wondering hands, catching him by surprise as she grasped his winking friend, a battle of wills between the two on who would take control, stroking his member across her wet entrance, resisting her own groans as she watch her lover reaction, amused how she truly had him within her hands before Alan taken the initiative by thrusting inwards while she teased.
Eye's widened and her mouth agape as a whole different feeling jolts through her body, a sting shot through her as his friend entered inside, gripping his shoulders. Both holding still as Mikasa caught her breath, regaining her composure, before Alan can ask if she was ok, Mikasa now taking back control he stole, moved her hips down onto his shaft, both moaning from the sensation, Alan noticing a trickle of blood, deducing that they both was their first, sends a new vigour of confidence etching his face but the amusement is how they are fighting for control, sending more excitement into their movements, grasping her arse once more sending a squeal from Mikasa as his finger stroked the inside of the secondary entrance, now tightened around his member as she bucked, her moans growing louder. Alan surprised from her reaction, expecting it to be too much for her only to be shocked for her to be more ferocious in her movements, both grinding as their lips connect and remained so a both reaching their end, Mikasa's eyes rolling backwards as her limit reached, her body quiver from the extreme pleasure, Alan feeling his own, her breaths wanting it, to feel it, but inside Alan's mind screamed at him, his blood demand to deny her need of his own climax, thankfully his friend escaped during her climax as he shot his own away. Breathing heavily before they can kiss their bliss away, a jolt of yellow lightning engulfed the spot they lay, its armoured hand reaching towards them.
Jolting his eyes open, blinking, his sweat forming on his brow, the morning has yet not come as Alan lay on top of his own clothes as blankets, glancing to the heavy feeling on his chest as Mikasa, peacefully slept in his arms, both naked. 'Why did that stupid titan appear at the very end of his dream' it was close to perfect as if his dream reminded the bliss they shared that night, down to the last detail, yet the titan decided to ruin that memory by turning up. His arm wrapped around her as she slept, her naked form breathing, her face looking peaceful unaware of Alan's unrest. Alan prefer to keep it that way, looking up to the sky above as the leaves from the tree's cover blocking most of the night sky, the moon creeping through the gaps. An unsettling feeling reaching within him as the metal around his neck feel heavy, yet the knife discarded somewhere still haunts him. He never want to see it again yet Mikasa would say that it belongs to family, always keep something to remind you of them. Yet it reminds him of the father that never wanted him, the father that chose to die at the hands of a titan. How it happened or why, simply abandoned him, he remember from an early age how his father awakened something within Alan, making him stronger, yet Alan clung onto his father, but shunned to the side. News of his father's death broke something within him, then he met Reiner, who took him in, and his awakened blood connected to Reiner.
Shaking the thoughts away he focused on what is here and now, a beautiful woman laying on his chest as her breath tickles the hairs on his chest. Unable to sleep he watched the darkness turn to a shade as red, signalling that the sun will soon be up and the morning risers will wake and see their state, he sure as hell isn't going to end up like Garrus. Reluctant to disturb her slumber, slightly shaking her with his shoulder, the Asian goddess stirred in her sleep, her head tilted upwards as her eyes open meekly, before giving a tiny smile.
"Sorry to disturb your sleep, we have to get up, unless you want to head to the Survey Corps HQ naked" Alan smirked at his little joke, more amused that Mikasa placed her head back onto his chest, listening to his heart beat.
"You had a bad dream" Mikasa bluntly said, feeling a questioning gaze dawning onto her "Your heart spiked for a few minutes, before resting"
"Could be that I woke up and still think I'm dreaming with a naked woman on top of me" Alan mused, he practically imagine her cheeks blushing bright red from the memory of their first passion.
"Mmmm, last night was just right" Mikasa now tilting her head to peck his lips "I do not regret it" her smile forming more.
"Nor do I" Alan recuperated the feelings. It was a big step for both of them and yet it felt so right. Slightly nudging her some more, an adorable reluctant grumble passed her throat as she begrudgingly lifted herself up, her mounds revelling in Alan's sight. Mikasa looked down his body, soaking in the sight before raising her eyebrow at his face, 'well shit, the unwelcomed visitor came to say hello'.
"Just morning glory, pay no attention to him" Alan muttered avoiding eye contact.
"Your calling it a him, are you?" Mikasa responded as her hands wondered down grasping him, the hint all too obvious.
"Maybe we have some time before the early birds get up" Alan mused, conceding to her will, she won this round. Smiling before kissing each other with passion yet again.
Reiner woke up in the temporary barracks, his sweat forming from a nightmare, leaning up, he looked at the few guys that remained to join the survey corps, it felt a little bit empty considering they shared a whole barracks with the 104th, scanning each face, his brow furrowed when he is missing one short, Alan, last time he saw him, Alan was with Mikasa, his grin forming as putting two and two together 'That sly dog', deciding to get out, getting changed into his uniform, still bearing the two swords of the cadets, by the time they reach the HQ they will be bearing the insignia of the wings of freedom. 'Freedom' Reiner thought, his eyes getting lost in thought, freedom come at a price and duty would chain them away from it. A ping of regret formed in his stomach, Alan always wanted to be free, now finding his form of freedom here and now, his brother and a lover both in his reach. Reiner proceeding out to the thin crisp air of the morning breeze, Alan deserved better, sooner or later he will be hurt. He remembered that day when he bonded with him as he was alone, ever since the walls, things gotten complicated, looking to his hands, Reiner could see himself forcing Alan in a difficult position, the hurt, the betrayal in so many ways, it will soon happen, snapping out of the train of thought, no, Reiner is a soldier, he will protect Alan even when he couldn't.
Speaking of Alan, seeing the man strolling out of the woods nearby with his heart following closely as if nothing happened, he might well tease them a bit for his own amusement.
"Had quite a romantic morning stroll, have we?" Reiner called out startling the two.
"Bloody hell Reiner, when did you become an early bird" Alan greeted in fake surprise, Mikasa to Reiner's surprise looking nervous.
"Since we have to be ready to head to HQ or we get left behind, I'm guessing the training with these guys would make our cadet training child's play" Reiner responded "Saying that, seems like you two had some endurance training yourself during your stroll" holding in the laugh forming in his throat as Mikasa looking away, trying to avoid showing the blush forming on her cheeks.
"More of a marathon for me and Mikasa, short sprint for Garrus and Sasha" Alan teased, before stopping to think on his words. Frowning at what came out of his mouth "That sounded better in my head" making Reiner to laugh out loud, Mikasa's blush intensifying.
"Yeah I bet it was" pointing to the mess hall "Foods nearly about done, might as well get it fresh and hot before Potato girl and her whip comes and eat it all" Reiner spoke, having a unison of agreement from the two.
Shaking his head Reiner walked with them, keen on what would await them at their new home.
More people woke up joining them in the mess, Jean, Bruno and Izzy sat calmly eating their fill, Izzy taking more off Bruno's plate, either he didn't notice or allowing her eating habits to go out of control.
Armin sat with Mikasa, Alan, Reiner and Bertholdt, talking about all things and the prospect of seeing Eren, who they are guessing couldn't wait to see them again after a few days without them. Mikasa expressing her worry, on his treatment, due to his titan powers. Alan humming in agreement, Alan still couldn't get his head round the fact that Eren of all people, who despises titans with prejudice can transform into one, must be a shock to him more than to the group.
Bertholdt, keeping his silence most the time, possibly thinking of Annie due to her leaving for the Interior, or something else as he glances to Reiner from time to time. Reiner as his usual self with added teasing to Alan's amusement.
"Well we can at least say, Alan you still have your pants on" Reiner teased, causing the group to chuckle, only Mikasa smiling somewhat awkwardly, apparently the thought of Alan showing his body where only she has been doesn't sit well with her as she seemed more territorial whenever a woman comes near Alan, she gave poor Christa a glare, causing the poor girl to ask Reiner instead for some form of help that she needed.
"Still speaking of no pants, sounds like Garrus and Sasha have been caught again" Armin interjected, noticing Mikasa getting uncomfortable with Alan being the subject. Heads turning to the duo sitting with the now embarrassed Izzy hiding her face, Jean and Bruno scooted to the edge of the table in case they need a quick getaway, while Sasha wolfing down her food like there won't be any left, with Garrus sitting in his black hoodie with cadet jacket, sitting down with only his boots, showing all of his glory, either Sasha is preoccupied with the food in front of her or she is fully committed to Garrus's naturism.
The door swung open to see two Survey corps members coming to collect their new recruits. "Ok guys, horses are prepped and ready to go, we will head out ASAP and be hitting the HQ before noon, hustle up…." One paused as he watched all the recruits stood up, looking straight at Garrus's junk. Completely speechless at the sight.
"Don't mistake it for a titan, she can gobble it up with ease" Garrus pointed to Sasha, causing the girl to splutter her words, as rage formed on her face.
"Get this tiny prick some pants" The taller veteran corps member called, shaking his head from the sight, muttering to his partner "We need to inform the Captain about this one" only to receive a hummed agreement.
If Alan have any inkling on which captain they be referring to, why would humanities greatest soldier have a problem with rabbits?
When the twenty-two recruits removed themselves from the building, witnessing a cart and a dozen horses. The two seniors pulled a crate from the back of the cart, lifting it open to see green capes bearing their regiments insignia.
"Wear these, you get your jackets at HQ" One called out, rolling his eyes at some questioning gazes "Isn't like we know your sizes, you just grab a jacket and wear the one that fits, dummies" muttering the last word under his breath, these seniors are really a nice bunch, Alan can feel their gratitude from a mile away, then again these guys been through hell and the only way to earn their respect is to survive hell and make it through, apparently they don't expect the recruits to survive very long on their excursions. Yet they are with recruits that went through a fraction in Trost, surly that would give them some form of credit.
As few chose to get in the cart, Alan, Reiner, Bertholdt and Mikasa opted for the horses, Alan never liked being cooped in a cart, he felt trapped, unable to move, unable to breathe, he half expected Mikasa to go with Armin into the cart but yet she stayed with him, Reiner sending a wink his way and Bertholdt, staying quiet but smiled.
Garrus jumping into the cart, apparently, he found his missing pants, to many recruits relief, apparently they are not too keen to have his junk waving about and being so close to him. The seniors manning the main cart as they ordered to stay close, towards the direction of the HQ.
The journey was mostly quiet, Bruno making conversation with Reiner on his thoughts of the scouts, idle chatter here and there, Alan catching Bertholdts eye, 'another private conversation, hooray' Alan thought, not really wanting to leave Mikasa's side but excused himself to Bertholdt.
"What's up Bert, Annie on your thoughts?" Alan inquired, having a sneaking suspicion it might be about her.
"Yeah" Bertholdt nodded "I worry about her, but I know she can handle herself" His eyes looking at any direction hoping it be in the direction of Annie.
Humming in thought "She be ok, doubt any guy can handle her, her kicks hurt like hell" Alan mused only to receive a chuckle.
"So where do we go from here? What do you plan on doing at the scouts?" Bertholdt asked, why does he want to know Alan has no idea.
"Apparently if I heard the commander right, we be having the expedition in a month time, we do what we always do, complete the mission and protect Eren, his survival is key to all of this mess" Alan spoke, fully aware Mikasa is listening "Once we get to Shinganshia we can end all this and go home" Catching her eye, only to receive a smile, he get them all home, that he promise to do.
"Yeah, I can get behind that plan, but what happens if we come across those titans that broke down the wall?" Bertholdt asked carefully, Alan narrowed his eyes at Bertholdt, before Bertholdt could look away, apparently nervous all of a sudden.
"Simple Bert, we kill them all. Mankind won't be safe as long as they are alive" Alan bluntly spoke, his thoughts now drifted to the titan that reached "I got a score to settle with one of them" his thoughts turning dark. He moved next to Mikasa with Bertholdt looking after him, concern over his face.
"I will be by your side when that day comes" Mikasa spoke, drawing his attention away, Alan only to smile to her profound statement, both unaware the look Bertholdt is giving.
'Alan, you will know only hurt' Bertholdt can only think, looking to Reiner once again, he will be truly hurt and wear a broken heart for the rest of his life at the end of this.
The HQ of the scouts was something to look at, an old stone fortress, with a courtyard, you would have thought it be dusty, grimy and broken down but apparently it is like someone had a serious cleaning OCD as each and every stone is cleaned to the last detail, you would have thought it has been recently built.
Garrus whistled at the sight "Damn this place is spotless, I feel sorry for the bastard that had been charge of cleaning" shoving a potato into Sasha's mouth he pulled from inside his jacket, for purposes of shutting up. Being ordered to get off their horses and cart, they head inside the courtyard, only to hear a familiar voice calling out to them.
"Hey guys your all here, Mikasa, Alan, Armin, good to see you guys" Eren called out from behind checking out the capes they are wearing "Nice capes, I take it Marco, Annie and Jean gone to the interior?"
"Marco's dead" a voice behind Eren spoke, a sudden pregnant silence stilled the air as Eren turned around to see Jean. Jeans features fixed on him as if wondering what to say.
"Jean? You're here as well and… what do you mean Marco is dead?" Eren, stuttered, disbelief in his ears, Marco dead? Impossible, how?
"Not everyone go down with a blaze of glory" Jean spoke harshly "No one seen him, he just died like the everyone else, I mean he didn't have his ODM gear on" Now Jean is piercing into Eren more intently.
"I heard you tried to kill Alan when you turned" Jean suddenly spoke, Eren holding his gaze but yet faltered. "Mind telling me what the fuck that was about?"
"Wrong Jean, Eren was just swatting a fly" Mikasa quickly went on the defence, Jean staring intently back at her, not even backing down from Mikasa's own stare.
"Let's here from the guy himself" Jean spoke, eye's now on Alan. 'Well shit, I didn't get my makeup on for the spotlight' Alan grumbled, looking to Mikasa and Eren, he hates this situation.
"Don't look at them" Jean spoke, a deathly calm in his tone. Alan looked away, unable to lie about it.
"He tried but I did it to save Mikasa" Alan muttered, Jean scoffing at the statement.
"So, it would have been Mikasa that would have attacked so if it wasn't for you then" Jean now looking back to Eren, Mikasa frowning, guilty that she unintentionally forced Alan into a difficult position.
"It's seemed to be true after I turned I…. tried to kill Alan" Eren staring to floor, hanging his head down in shame.
"Seemed to?" Jean picked up on that sentence "So you have no memory whatsoever. No means of control as well if you were to transform?"
"Yeah that's about it" Eren admitted even further, not liking the conversation.
Jean only stared back, letting that information sink until turning to the others listening "You guys hear that, I guess that's where we stand"
"This is what Humanity is putting all their faith and our fate are riding on, This is what we will die for and like Marco, Eren wouldn't even know about it" Jean finally stating what's on his mind, the others stood there not saying a single word, eyes just on Eren.
Alan hated it when someone spoke the truth but here it is, no matter how he wants to defend Eren, he has no control, the possibility of him turning and killing one of them is high and because he would have no memory, he wouldn't even know Eren have done it.
Mikasa, glare darkened "Jean, why do you have to back Eren into the corner like that" her tone stoic, yet Alan can sense a bit of anger in her tone.
"No one is like you Mikasa" Garrus piped up "Nor Alan" nodding his head to Alan as well "Marcus died with his damn head chopped off, nobody saw it, nobody knew about it until we saw the damn corpse"
Another pregnant silence fell, the atmosphere suffocating from the silence, Alan can only watch Garrus, as Reiner's eyes glanced to Alan and back to Garrus.
"None of us volunteered for Eren here, Mikasa" Garrus added, twisting the knife in, Mikasa, losing some composure, everyone is aware why she joined, not aware that she joined because Alan is joining it to begin with.
Jean stood forward "All of us should know, even you should know what our lives are going to be used for, otherwise we might hesitate when we are in a crisis"
Looking back to the crowd, but keeping one eye trained on Eren "We are now looking to Eren to give us something in return and let us carefully appraise the value…" allowing the words to sink in, Eren paling at the responsibility being pushed onto him "So we can decide if it is worth our lives".
Grasping Eren's shoulder, as Jean leaned forward ever so closer "Eren, seriously, we are counting on you, to make everything worth it" Jean's eyes dead inside wanting everything, for Marco, Marcus, Thomas, all the bones to be worth it.
Eren can only speak once of a simple ok, before Jean is satisfied enough to let go, before moving pass him, to the barracks for them to get settled in. The rest followed in besides Alan, Armin and Mikasa stayed by Eren.
"What he said…" Mikasa gritted through her teeth before being cut short from Alan.
"Is the truth" Alan spoke quietly receiving a glare from Mikasa, his face stoic. "Garrus is right, me and you can handle anything that gets thrown in our way, but they are not like us, they want their deaths to actually mean something"
Eren can only look downwards before perking up with more determination "The I have to step it up, make sure that I am worth a damn to fight for"
"You can, if we are there to help you Eren" Armin spoke, he too understood the implications of what Jean said. "Still what does he mean Marcus's head being cut off?"
"Meaning someone who isn't a titan killed him" Alan spoke, thinking on why.
"Wait?" Eren questioned "Commander Erwin asked me who the real enemy is when the two captured titans were killed" receiving a few eyebrows raised when spoken about this, continuing "I think that whoever it is does not want us to advance our knowledge on the titans"
"True or they could not stand titans being alive, but what's the point in taking out the means of understanding them better when we have safer means to do so there are many reasons for it to happen but yes someone doesn't want us to find out more about the titans?" Armin deduced, Alan have to admit Armin is too smart for his own good, thinking out the box all the time, that thinking would make him invaluable to the military. Something the Scouts needs.
Looking to the sky Eren, watches the birds fly high above "I better get going, the Captain wants me to make sure the rest of the barracks are clean" heading off towards the barracks. Armin smiling at his best friend running away.
"I see you guys later?" Armin asked receiving a nod, leaving the two alone.
"Why didn't you defend Eren when he was backed into a corner and why would you tell them I could have been the one to be nearly killed?" Mikasa asked, her face like stone. Alan raising his eyebrow, not surprised she would ask him that.
"Would you have me lie? Besides they wouldn't believe such a thing when they heard it from others" Alan said, his voice calm "I don't blame you though, Eren is your family"
Mikasa humming in agreement "Would you have acted like me if it was Reiner standing in Eren's place?" 'Ah yes, the in your shoe's moments' Alan hummed, he might as well be honest since she be waiting for one.
"Yes, I would have, but I would not expect you to defend him nor will I question you why you haven't" Alan spoke, his features stone as their eyes locked, seeing into each other's emotions from the inside. Until Mikasa gazed down to her feet, her scarf pulled to her mouth.
"I am sorry" Mikasa whispered, guilt treading her stomach once more "I am sorry for forcing you into a position to begin with"
Felling his hand lifting her chin, obliging to the movement, to look back into his eeys once more. His dark blues penertrating hers as smile crept on his face, before lowering her scarf to plant a small kiss.
"Don't be sorry, I know you meant well for Eren, as I said he is family" Alan spoke allowing Mikasa to rest her head onto his chest as they embrace for a moment. "Let's go and get our jackets, hopefully one would be able to fit us just about right" Alan joked, finally bringing a smile to Mikasa's lips, 'there she is' Alan mused to himself.
The day have been trying as they finally have their Scouts jackets bearing the wings of freedom, now they are fully inserted themselves into the regiments.
A tall blonde man, hair parted to both sides, sporting a stubble, watches the new recruits as they settle in, knowing in a month time they be heading out the walls for their 187th expedition, some won't even make it back alive. The tall man sniffing the air, an unusual smell touched his nose, crinkling it a bit before snorting.
"Oi Mike, what do you find so funny" a short man came by, Levi watching the commotion, looking at disgust as they left mud on their shoes as they walk about.
"Someone is having sex" Mike simply stated, noting Levi's reaction as the short man eyes narrowed.
"Tch, they better fucking clean up after themselves, or there be hell to pay" before heading to the barracks, wanting to check on Yeager's progress.
Ironically that's where the smell is coming from, he had been notified of a couple, one having the tendency to be forced to train with no pants, if he heard right. Snorting once more to the fact that someone failed to notify the Clean freak about them. Oh well he find out soon enough, before catching whiff of another strange smell, his eyes darting amongst the recruits, it smelled of raw hidden power, this smell will drive him crazy until he finds out who it is coming from, but he have a month to find out, now he have important tasks to bring because tomorrow will be the start of formation training, and serious training for the recruits because the scouts push them far pass their limits if they were to survive the excursions out the wall.
The door to Commander Erwin's office sprung open, as said commander looked up from his desk, not surprised to see Levi standing there, not looking at all happy.
"Levi, I believe you seen the recruit's habits" Erwin asked, expecting the answer to be like…
"Filthy animals, Erwin, I caught two fucking already" Levi dryly spoke, he walked in and as he did saw the mess shot up this woman's face and the worst part it hit the wall behind her as well. Say to least they might be still cleaning that room, he inspect later.
"Eloquently put as always, anything else you need to say?" Erwin, offering some tea as he spoke which Levi happily obliged.
"Hange's experiments proven somethings with Yeager, kid transformed being determined to pick up a spoon" Levi continued sipping out of his cup his hands picking up from the top instead of by the handle. "Nothing we can handle, kid might have shit himself"
Erwin nodded, he read Section Commander Hange reports, any information is crucial if he were to plan the expedition, all of mankind is riding on Eren's titan ability after all.
"Have you spoken or watched the recruit we talked about?" Erwin inquired, the boy held his stare against him at the induction ceremony, quite impressed with his answer, he would have either expect him to say he will give his heart or not wanting to, but to refuse shows he is determined to see it through, that is a trait he can respect.
"Planning on that tomorrow as you asked even though I got better things to do than chase a brat" Levi waving off the matter, his skills in Trost are quite impressive but an Expedition is a whole new ball game and even though he won't admit it he is quite curious of the so called next strongest soldier.
"Very well Levi" Erwin spoke knowing the captain has finished anyways. Watching him leave he opened up a report of the recruit, his background and his cadet training.
The boy is very strong, his father eaten by the titans when wall maria fell, his diary he keeps on his person since before, yet the knife he carries is an unusual make, he may need to ask about that, doubt he would get the answers from him directly since in the reports he avoids questions asked about it, too painful memories he does not want to delve back into. Not that it is important anyway.
It will be a month until the first of many expeditions to recapture Shinganshia.