[this is going to be a rather less happy chapter - but it will get happier again, no worries]

She realized that she had completely forgotten about her mission, the alternate universe and all the questions that have come up here. Was there a Kara from this universe? Why did Alex have a husband? Why was she laying here in a bed with her best friend? That's when it hit her.
Kara finally understood that what made this possible was that she didn't feel pressured to not like Lena this way. She didn't have to be straight here because Alex was. She knew that it didn't make sense at first…but then she really started to see this through. She did really love Lena for real and so much that she had never allowed her heart to experience the complete form of that love. This love that makes the heart heavy and Kara knew that she couldn't take it so she had never dared to try. Then Alex came out and Kara felt like there could only be one with "weird" feelings. With a "different" heart. Her eyes teared up when the curtains opened and reality became clearer. Kara had already been the alien. How could she also be with a woman? She wished that people were different and that this didn't matter so much.
She would not be able to bear this pain any longer and knowing what Lena really meant to her was even more like a dagger in her chest. But that wasn't Kara's place. Kara, best friend or whatever of the human that made her mind go so crazy she'd rather never think too much about it again. Her Lena didn't love her. Kara felt tears running down to her chin. She realized now how it worked. The Lena that was laying there so peacefully and pure was a version of Lena she could never have.
And as much as she hated it, she had to go back.
Her mission had resulted in nothing but the realization of Kara's feelings - which made the pain even worse.

With her heart more heavy than all the buildings she had lifted Kara stood up to get dressed. She wondered what would happen in this universe with this Lena. She knew she had to tell her, that was decency. If Kara just disappeared Lena would be heartbroken and Kara wouldn't ever want to hurt any Lena Luthor in any universe. It had already been foolish and selfish to stay so long and let this happen. Kara hoped that the Kara in this universe was going to end up with this Lena. That she would propose to her and love her just as much as she would have liked to. So she decided that this would be her anchor, her safe haven: knowing that there was a them somewhere. A Lena and Kara – happy together.

Lena opened her eyes because she noticed Kara was not in bed anymore. She looked up and found her lover half-dressed at the other side of the suite. Trying to find out what time it was Lena checked her phone. She immediately noticed a text from Alex: "I found out Kara is in Greece with Aeneas – when did she leave Spain?"
Lena furrowed her brows and decided to think about it later.
"Good morning" Kara said with a low tone.
"Good morning to you too. What's wrong?" Lena asked insecurely.
Kara sighed and sat down on the floor. Lena instantly got up and knelt down aside of her.
"Lena I have messed up" Kara started.
"Because of last night? Do you regret it?"
"No. I mean, yes. Don't get me wrong, it was amazing and I really wanted this. But I was unfair to you. I am – not… not from this universe Lena."
Lena remained silent. That explained Alex' text. She was confused but when she looked in the eyes of the woman she had been in bed with a few moments earlier she didn't see a threat or a swindler. There was just Kara, a very vulnerable and crying one.

"You really do love me don't you?" Lena said suddenly.
Kara's heart ached as she nodded.
"That's why you're here, aren't you?" Lena assumed. Kara nodded.
"In my universe you didn't forgive me. Our friendship is broken and I am scared of losing you" Kara admitted sobbingly.
"So you wanted to know what difference it'd take to save your friendship with your Lena" Lena concluded. Kara nodded again. How could she have come to this conclusion so fast? Lena was so smart it always astonished Kara.
"So what is it?"
"Well…that we can love each other…or rather, that I can love you and you have feelings for me in this universe. I mean it will sound crazy. But Alex is gay in my universe." Kara expected Lena to not understand but she underestimated the logical skills of her friend again.
"Of course – what show would have two queer main characters…" Lena murmured.
"What did you say?"
"No forget about it. So what you're basically saying is that because you're pressured to not love women you can't unleash all the love you have for your Lena-"
"-which makes our bond more vulnerable"
"and your friendship almost broken" Lena finished.
"So I guess that's why you – well Lena in my universe is so angry and feels so betrayed because she feels that I am still not fully honest with her and she feels less…"
"…loved?" Lena suggested.
"No - I don't think I love Lena less just because I can only love her as a friend there…"
"But that's the problem. You don't only love her as a friend…which may make your love somehow less honest."

Kara swallowed thick. It was all so confusing and complicated and she wasn't sure if she could follow through completely. "So what do I do? It's too late – Lena has lost all trust in me."
Lena needed a moment to answer, then she said: "Well she is me, right? Do you know why I like math and biology? You get a problem or a question that you have to solve or answer" she explained. "I get the feeling of control because we can often solve them or answer them with our knowledge."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because you're not at all like any of those things. I don't feel like I was in control, nor can I really understand you. But everything is so exciting and different with you – with Kara. I don't feel like I have to be in control and I love Kara more than anything else so I don't mind" Lena said "and so will she."
Kara couldn't speak. Her thoughts rushed. But that was this Lena. Hers never felt about her this way.
"What will happen to you and this Kara?" she asked.
Lena ran her fingers through her dark hair.
"If I understand this correctly – well" Lena looked around and took a moment "then this isn't real" she said. "This is just an alternative to your universe where facts are switched and mixed up…maybe we only exist as long as your simulation is running."
"But – I thought it is an alternate universe. How could it be only a simulation?" Kara asked scared.
"I don't think we can truly understand the concept of alternate universes. I don't even know if such exist. I mean there are different earths but this sounds more like a simulation. I mean you said you came here to test something" Lena tried to explain.
Kara sunk even more to the floor. She was scared that as soon as she left – all of this would be gone. Vanished. "But this was my anchor…knowing a 'Lena and Kara' exists somewhere…" she murmured not looking at Lena.
"It doesn't matter if it's another universe or a small town in Serbia where you will probably never go or anywhere else…you carry this place inside you where there is an 'us'." Lena said and placed her hand on Kara's chest.
"You are very wise here" Kara acknowledged and almost smiled.

TBC

Hey I am very sorry for the huuge delay. I was almost about to not finish the story because - while it felt like the whole world was put on pause with quarantine and everything - I was one of the few people who had to go to school continuously. I won't complain, but I had a lot to do and a lot on my mind so I wanted to wait for inspiration to come back before continuing the story as I am already not a really gifted writer.
Thank you for all the nice comments!
It was a really nice experience to have people read something I wrote ;)