Sovengard was empty. It had been for a long time. How long? I couldn't say. It seemed like years since the fateful battle against Alduin but I couldn't know for sure, not when I spent most of the time lost in my own memories and wallowing in an ocean of guilt. The once promised paradise of Sovengard was rendered empty. The souls that once occupied the hall of heroes drinking and celebrating were consumed. The worst part is that it was my fault. I failed. When the time came for me to face Alduin, I lost and I died.
It was ironic that I immediately found myself back in Sovengard, I guess my death was enough to earn myself a place in paradise. But under the circumstances I only felt bitterness towards my situation.
The only reason I was still around is that the dragon thought it would be crueler to leave me forever wondering a place that I wished so dearly to see when I died. He was right. The guilt hit me hard, and I spent most of my time so far plagued by thoughts of what Alduin could be doing to Tamriel. Such thoughts didn't help, but they were all I had. That and my ability to walk. So that's what I did, I walked and I thought and I walked and thought some more.
Eventually I couldn't take the guilt and loneliness anymore and that lead me to do something that I haven't done in a long time. It lead me to pray.
So here I've been, for the past several hours, kneeling on the floor, praying to Akatosh and begging for a solution. For a way to redeem myself if it wasn't too late. "... please, I'm begging you. "
It was after a long prayer in which I asked for help in every way I could think of that I finally opened my eyes. I can honestly say I wasn't expecting much, it was pure desperation that lead me to pray in the first place.
However that just meant that I was especially shocked when I opened my eyes and saw that for the first time in a long time I wasn't alone.
The being before me radiated power. It was as if it was made of the very concept. It was enough to make me wonder how I didn't notice it while my eyes were closed because it seemed as if it was the only thing in existence at the moment, I could not take my attention from it even if I wanted to.
For a second I thought it might be Alduin finally come to finish me off and I felt relief. However that notion was quickly dispelled and my relief turned to shame. I was supposed to be a warrior, and should be above such thoughts.
The reason I knew it wasn't Alduin? The dragon seemed to made of golden light and was larger than Alduin, if such a thing was possible. It didn't take me long to determine the identity of my visitor and once I did I immediately fell to a knee and bowed my head.
"Akatosh." I said with awe and a little trepidation. How should one greet a Divine and why did he only show up now? Whatever the reason, it probably wasn't good.
Akatosh didn't seem to mind my greeting and he spoke in voice that sounded vaguely like the rumbling of thunder, I felt it deep in my bones and it hinted at an underlying power. "Rise my child."
Without hesitation I stood up and looked at the being responsible for the way my life turned out.
The awe faded quickly as I considered all the times I could of used his help. All the prayers that went unanswered. Most recently against another son of his.
"Why are you here?" I winced as soon as the words came out of my mouth. Although I may harbour some resentment for Akatosh, that doesn't mean I can afford to be disrespectful.
Luckily he seemed to find amusement in my words. "Did you not pray for my help? " He asked with glint in his eyes.
I swallowed "I did, but why did you..." I trailed off, not knowing how the being before me would react to the question I so desperately wanted to ask.
Akatosh looked at me with a piercing gaze. "Why did I answer your prayers now and not before?"
I just nodded silently. At this the Divine turned his attention away from me and towards the endless space around us. I felt like a weight had been lifted as soon as his attention was no longer on me and I felt myself straighten and stand a little bit taller. It was akin to a beta wolf cowering to its alpha. This realization flooded me with rage. I am a DRAGON! I bow to no one. Not even the Divines.
Akatosh turned his attention back on me and this time I forced myself to hold my posture. If he noticed my change he chose to ignore it. "When the Divines created this world we gave up some of our essence, our very beings, to bring it to life and to allow it to function without us. We gave mortals an incredible gift. Free will. But the cost of us giving this gift was great. For would mortals truly have free will if we ruled over them and forced them to do what we wanted, told them who to worship and controlled how they lived their lives. No, they wouldn't. So we came up with laws. Laws that every Divine would follow. We would limit our interactions with mortals. We could guide them but never take away their gift of choice. Even the Daedric Princes follow these rules to an extent, they don't have the ability to dominate a mortals free will but they could manipulate them. Through fear, worship or by making a bargain. Ultimately the decision of whether to follow is always the mortals. We Divines can do the same but ultimately prefer to stay out of mortal affairs. "
I had a lot of questions, in fact my mind was full of them, but he still hadn't answered my original question. "That still doesn't answer why you are here now and not before."
Akatosh hummed. A great sound that made the ground rumble. " As I said before we Divines prefer to stay out of mortal affairs. I suppose a big reason for not coming to you sooner my son was that I had faith. Faith in you and your abilities. I see now that my faith was... misplaced."
I flinched. I couldn't stop myself. The reminder of my failure was too great but that didn't stop me from getting angry immediately afterwards."How was I supposed to win?! Alduin is too strong! I did everything I could! But at the end of the day he's a god!"
I felt more than saw his attention on me sharpen, it felt as if the weight pressing down on me from his presence got infinitely heavier. I had to fight to stay standing.The world trembled as he roared and the force of it made me take a few steps back. "YOU FAILED BECAUSE YOU DID NOT DO EVERYTHING YOU COULD!"
I quickly regained my balance but it was a far greater feat to control my temper. Nevertheless I managed to pull it off. "What do you mean I didn't do everything I could?" I asked through gritted teeth.
I could see Akatosh was undergoing a similar struggle, I could physically see the anger in his eyes fading as he released a sigh. "You destroyed the Dark Brotherhood instead of learning all you could from them, left the Companions when you found out they were werewolves instead of accepting the boost to your strength it would of given you and probably the worst is that you refused to join the Mages Guild. "
I was left floored. I felt as if I had just been punched in the gut. " I - I - the Dark Brotherhood is a group of murderers. I thought I was doing the right thing. All I've ever wanted was to die honorably and go to Sovengard, if I became a werewolf my soul would go to Hircine instead, I didn't have a choice. The Mages Guild? Im a nord! Talos is my hero and he never learnt magic! Ive defeated countless mages. I didn't... I thought..."
I thought I couldn't feel any worse in that moment but once again Akatosh proved me wrong.
" You were supposed to be better than Talos." He whispered. "What are morals and honor compared to all life on the planet? Everything is permitted if it serves the greater good. What is the importance of your soul compared to the souls of countless others? Magic is a great tool. What is the respect of your fellow nords compared to making sure your race continues? You should of done everything in your power to defeat Alduin. Even if it cost you everything. "
I fell to my knees. I couldn't help it. It felt as if my very soul was crushed. Grief coursed through me. I didn't didn't know how long I sat there weeping before I finally managed to drag myself to my feet and wiped the tears from my eyes before looking at Akatosh. "Why are you here?"
He looked... sad. It's not a look that such a being should have. "The Divines are fading."
My eyebrows shot up. "Fading?"
I didn't like the way he was looking at me. It was a look filled with pity. It was a look I hated receiving, it reminded me of my childhood. "We're dying. Most have faded already and soon we all will cease to exist completely."
My face drained of color and my voice cracked as I struggled to fully register that statement. "W-What?"
"It's been a century since you lost to Alduin. He's consumed almost every living soul. One of the downsides of infusing our essences into the world is that with the end of the world and with no worship we will cease to exist. Alduin has completed his destiny. He's brought about the end. "
A little while ago I thought that things couldn't get any worse. I see now how wrong I was. I failed and now everything has ended. "So that's it then. Everyone's gone. Alduin won and I'm going to spend the rest of eternity wondering aimlessly through this cursed place!" I was shouting at the end. I feel like I have no control of my emotions. I'm jumping between all consuming anger and a sadness that makes me feel absolutely empty. I once again found myself kneeling on the floor with my head bowed.
" It wasn't a total victory."
"What?" My head snapped up with the speed of a striking serpent.
"Before he faded Talos used the last of his power to hide a few nords and some other creatures from Alduin. Not enough to prevent the Divines from fading but it is enough to bring back civilization. Maybe not anytime soon but in a couple hundred thousand years civilisation will rise once again. Alduin believing he destroyed everything went into hibernation for when next he believes he must bring about the end. This isn't the first time he's done it. But it can be the last. "
I found myself rising to my feet as I found hope surge back into me. "What must I do? I'll do anything!"
Those eyes seemed to study me. Akatosh was assessing my very soul. "Do you mean that? Will you truly do anything it takes to beat him? Will you let go of your morality and your very soul to see him defeated?"
I didn't even hesitate. "I will."
Time seemed to stop. There was no movement or sound as he assessed my answer. Finally, seemingly pleased with whatever he saw Akatosh spoke. "Once I fade I expect the Daedric Princes to abandon this realm for it no longer provides any entertainment. Without us protecting Nirn it will only be a few millenia before other Divine beings adopt it as their own for we are far from the only there are. This I have seen in my brief glimpses of the future. Sovengard will eventually be taken over by these beings and will become paradise once again. I will use the last of my power to send you forward in time to this future. Once there you will not be able to enjoy this paradise however as you must choose to be reborn and bathe in the River Lethe. "
At this he gazed at me sadly. " This will remove your memories, I believe you will get them back eventually however. Because although you will have a new life you will still have the soul of a Dovah. As such you will retain your gifts. Be warned. Although it's a new start, your life will not be easy. You must use your time wisely and prepare to face Alduin once again. Do you accept this responsibility. "
I swallowed hard. This was it. My chance of redemption." I do. "
If it was possible Akatosh looked even more sad while gazing at me. "So be it. "
The next thing I knew my body started to fade.
The last thing I heard Akatosh, my father say was. "Do everything you can for the greater good."
Thank you all for giving this a chance. I'll try and have the next chapter out in the next few days. Criticism is welcome as long as it's constructive.