At Hogwarts (for real)

"Hermione!" She heard someone calling her name, as though from a distance. She blinked slowly, the cool sterile walls of the hospital wing coming into view.

"Whadff." She started and frowned at the nonsense that escaped her.

"Hey." She recognized Ron now, sitting at her bedside, "You've been unconscious for a while."

Suddenly, it was like everything hit her at once, "Oh." She moaned as her head was suddenly hit with everything.

"What do you remember?" Ron asked with a concerned frown.

"Harry and Theo Nott both fell into a coma. We figured out that Theo had been cursed and somehow Harry was affected - so me and-" She trailed off and turned to see Malfoy in the bed next to hers in a similarly disoriented state. He turned to her and blinked a few times, before returning his attention to a simpering Pansy Parkinson.

"Yeah, Dumbledore helped you guys somehow enter Theo's consciousness in order to figure out what the curse was. He said it would be real trippy." Ron looked relieved.

"It was." Hermione said softly. She could remember it all - but it was like a particularly vivid dream.

"I heard you both were awake!" She turned to her left to see Dumbledore walk in, a serene smile on his face.

"Headmaster," Hermione said, pushing herself onto her elbows, "can you tell me - us, how long have we been unconscious?"

"Hmm? I believe it's been 72 hours." He explained.

"That's all?" Malfoy drawled. Hermione looked at him, his disbelief mirrored her own.

"Time within the mind can behave much differently than that in the physical world." Dumbledore explained with a twinkle in his eye, "But there is a more urgent matter at hand. Have you uncovered why young Theo was cursed?"

"We have," Hermione looked at Malfoy, slightly panicked, "perhaps we should tell you alone, sir?"

"Alright," Dumbledore frowned and waved Ron and Pansy out of the room. Ron gave her a particularly meaningful look which she responded with what she hoped came off as an I'll explain everything later look.

"Theo and Harry were - are in a relationship." Hermione explained.

"Oh," Dumbledore frowned, looking genuinely surprised, "how did this result in a curse?"

"It's a familial curse - it had to do with 'ensuring the continuation of the Nott line'." Malfoy explained as only a proper pureblood could.

"Hmm." Dumbledore nodded, "This is most helpful. I'm optimistic we will be able to cure both Misters Nott and Potter of their ailments in no time. Thank you both." He gave a short nod and walked off. An awkward silence pervaded the room, as reality , the real reality suddenly befell them.

"I can guarantee you that at the end of this, Gryffindor will somehow gain a hundred points and Slytherin will be down 50." Malfoy broke the silence.

"Oh, sod off Malfoy." She rolled her eyes, but couldn't help the smile that formed. "How has it only been 72 hours?"

"I know." He leaned back in the bed, putting his hands behind his head and looking up at the lights, "I thought it was weeks, maybe even months."

"I just - I don't know what to make of it." She turned to him, her elbow on the pillow and hand holding her head up, "I mean, I have all these odd memories - I see now clearly how they differentiated from reality but-"

"What was real you mean?" He asked, looking contemplative.

"Yes! Like, was Theo really an informant? How on earth is Luna Lovegood involved?" She questioned.

"I guess I was thinking more about what I'm going to do with all of this useless American Muggle knowledge." He made the motion then of throwing a football. Hermione immediately burst out laughing. "What?" He asked, eyes narrowed.

"I'm just - I'm thinking about, oh my gosh." She was bowled over for a moment before she caught herself, "Sorry - just ' I'm too sexy'." And that seemed to be the straw that broke the camel's back so to speak, and Malfoy too broke down into laughter.

"What's going on here?" Ron walked up to Hermione, frowning.

"Oh, it's, nothing." Hermione wiped the tears from her eyes, reluctantly turning from Malfoy, "Just a memory." And as she watched Ron look suspiciously at Malfoy, she suddenly remembered that in this world, Malfoy was the enemy. There was no room for friendship, or whatever it was they were. She wasn't sure but she felt reasonably confident he had the same realization, judging by the odd sadness that colored his features.

1 week later

Hermione was out of the hospital wing 48 hours later, given a clean bill of health and permitted to return to her classes. It was strange at first, the feeling of returning to reality, but almost like the sensation of coming home from a holiday, she adapted quickly.

She didn't necessarily avoid Malfoy so much as ensure her gaze never quite fell on him. As time passed, she still remembered the events of their jaunt through Theo's mind but the specifics started to fade - suddenly she could no longer remember what the cafeteria looked like or who the Calculus teacher was. She wondered if at some point it would all disappear - and if so, what did that mean?

She considered her time with Malfoy to have some meaning - she had her first orgasm for goodness sakes. If she forgot, would it be like it never happened? She unconsciously looked over at where he sat in Ancient Runes, looking diligently down at his notes. She felt like, in their time together she had gotten to know him and they had developed some sort of friendship. Of course, it was based on mutual frustration and sexual tension but it was something nonetheless.

But was her experience with Malfoy truly him? She recalled from the Muggle World that he had never really shown much animosity towards her, just throwing her the occasional jab and behaving as though she didn't exist. The entire situation was - disconcerting. Then, of course, there was the question of what he was thinking now. Was he disgusted by his behavior, or perhaps his thoughts were aligned with her own? Granted, since they had returned he had not stooped to his previous levels of animosity but perhaps that was simply from embarrassment?

She was relieved when class ended, knowing she would have lunch and a free afternoon period blissfully Malfoy free. She was elated upon reaching the Great Hall to find Harry had finally been released from the hospital wing. He sat amongst a sea of well wishers, a somewhat cautious grin splayed on his face.

"Harry!" She exclaimed, pushing a few fourth years out of the way to take the seat across from him. She gave the other Gryffindors a pointed glare and they eventually moved back to their seats, giving Harry some space.

"Thanks Mione." He smiled, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.

"What's going on?" She frowned.

"Hmm?" He blinked and swallowed, "Sorry, I keep forgetting you know." Just the day before they had quite the chat about his relationship with Theo in the hospital wing.

"We don't have to talk about it." She shrugged.

"It's just," he whispered, "he's having second thoughts about me - us."

"Oh no." Hermione's face fell, "I'm sorry Harry. Because of the curse?"

Harry shrugged, "Honestly, I'm not sure. It seems like something is weighing on him. Amelia Bones came to visit him for some reason in the hospital wing yesterday - it seemed to really shake him."

Hermione became suddenly alert, "Amelia Bones? The representative of the Bones seat on the Wizengamot?"

Harry nodded, "I believe so."

"Harry," Hermione frowned, "Does Luna know about you and Theo?"

Harry looked surprised, "Yes - how did you know that?"

Hermione sat back to consider this. Her initial theory was that Theo did not want to put Harry in the line of fire since he was going to be presumably testifying against the Death Eaters. Though, that didn't really make sense, given that Harry was already number 1 on Voldemort's list. Perhaps he just didn't want Harry to know what he was planning?

She realized, with an odd combination of reluctance and excitement, she should probably run this by Malfoy. He could talk to Theo - figure out why he was pushing away Harry. After everything they dealt with, with everything Harry had been through, it just didn't seem right. And, perhaps, a part of her was happy to finally have a good reason to talk with Malfoy. But it was for science. And Harry. That was all.

She was fairly certain that she and Malfoy shared a free period so she wandered out to the grounds where it seemed all the 6th years were enjoying the warm spring day. She found him eventually, sunbathing by the Black Lake, surprisingly alone.

"Granger." She jumped. He was still lying on the grass, his hands behind his head and eyes closed.

"How did you know it was me?" She cocked her head, standing over him so that she was partially blocking his sun.

"I could hear your mind pacing. It was deafening." He squinted at her.

She rolled her eyes but proceeded to lie down next to him, "So," she started awkwardly.

"So." He responded unhelpfully.

There was a lot she wanted to say to him but it was just - too awkward. So instead she said, "Harry mentioned Theo has second thoughts about them."

"Hmm." Malfoy mumbled.

"Really? 'Hmm?' They loved each other so much that it set off a familial curse in Theo! And your response is hmm?" She faced him, her voice incredulous.

"What do you want me to say?" He drawled, turning his head in response.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe that you're so surprised or Theo had a really good explanation or that you'd talk to-"

"Really Granger? You think Theo and I just sit around painting our nails and gossiping about boys? He got himself into this mess he can get himself out of it." He explained, raising his eyebrows in question.

"You're the worst." She told him, "But that's not all."

"Oh do tell."

"Fuck you," she cursed, "but apparently Harry saw Amelia Bones visit Theo yesterday in the hospital wing. And it seems Luna was aware of their relationship."

"So what we saw - there," he paused, "was more or less true?"

"Yes - I'm assuming he is some kind of Death Eater informant." She explained.

"And you're telling me?" He was incredulous.

"Huh," she mumbled, suddenly realizing that at some point she stopped seeing Malfoy as a Death Eater, or at the very least Death Eater adjacent. In a way, she saw them both as two people stuck in the middle of something that was a bit beyond them. "I guess I stopped thinking of you as a Death Eater sympathizer at some point." She frowned.

Why hadn't she just said something to Harry? Why on earth was her first reaction to talk to Malfoy of all people? His father was a Death Eater for goodness sakes! He had all the incentive in the world to stop Theo. "Shit." She closed her eyes, "I guess I'm still struggling to remember what's real."

She knew she should be more panicked, but for some reason she felt oddly peaceful lying there. She wasn't sure if perhaps she simply had faith in Malfoy or maybe she had a serious case of denial.

"Honestly," he said finally, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen, "the idea that he can take the Death Eaters down would be a relief."

She blinked, letting out a long breath, "Really?"

"Hmm," he nodded, "I know what's expected of me when I graduate. And to be honest - I'd rather not."

"What about your father?" She frowned.

Malfoy simply shrugged, "He made his decisions and he'll be judged for them."

"That's quite an evolved view point." Hermione narrowed her eyes at him.

"I've found myself in a bit of a metaphysical crisis of late," he smirked at her, "it's made me question things. Particularly the experience of living as a Muggle."

She hadn't even considered that. While the experience for her had been somewhat surreal she hadn't stopped to imagine how wizard Draco Malfoy, who had previously viewed Muggles with only disdain, would feel about having memories and experiences as a Muggle.

He continued, "It's not nearly as simple as I was made to believe. And while I'm hopeful that my father can learn the error of his ways, I'm not quite willing to sacrifice anyone just for his benefit." He looked back to the sky then.

"So, is that what you've been doing out here, waxing philosophically?" She smiled.

"Hmm, see, this bird told me if you're not consistently questioning the nature of your existence you're not intelligent." He teased.

"She sounds utterly delightful." Hermione nodded approvingly.

"She's alright when she's not being a swot." He remarked.

She punched him in the arm. "Ow," he grabbed his bicep in mock horror, before giving her a predatory grin.

"No, whatever you're thinking, don't do it." She sat up, getting ready to run when Malfoy grabbed her by the waist and dragged her back to the ground and started - tickling her. "Mother fucker." She laughed and screamed in terror.

"Stop it." She smacked at his arms and he stopped, but left his hands on her hips. She realized they were only inches apart and she could feel his quickening breaths on her neck. He looked her in the eye, like he was looking for something. "Do you remember it all?" She asked softly.

He frowned, "I think so."

"Do you think there would be value in checking, you know, for science?" She licked her lips and felt blood rush to her cheeks.

"Well," he kissed her, "if it's for science." he mumbled into her mouth.

She popped up on her knees, suddenly anxious and responded immediately. It was just like she remembered, and that somehow made all of their experiences feel more real. She felt his tongue brush lightly against her bottom lip and she moaned, opening her mouth further for him. He pulled her onto his lap, tucking her into him almost protectively.

It was odd - in how not odd Hermione found it. She relished the feeling of his hands grazing her lower back and willingly pushed her hips into his. She smirked at the moan he gave in response, "Is this what you want?" She taunted him, her hand boldly covering his growing erection.

"Fuck you." He smiled into her, moving her legs so they wrapped around his torso.

"Oof." She moaned and pulled her head back. They had never really done anything like this before and she found it exhilarating. He began nibbling innocently at her neck, quite easily finding the spot beneath her ear that had elicited such a distinct response before. In the back of her mind, a part of her wondered how that could be - how they could have gotten to know each other so well in a place that wasn't real.

"Stop it." He grabbed her bottom then, eliciting another moan as she felt him against her core. "I can hear you thinking again."

"It's really creepy when you do that. Oh." She closed her eyes and ground against him. That now familiar tension was beginning to build and she tucked her face into his neck. Until quite suddenly, he froze.

"So," he stilled her and whispered, "we may not want to do this here." She blinked, and suddenly she remembered that this was the real world and that what they did, and perhaps more importantly where they did it and who saw mattered. It was odd though, she had mentally separated Malfoy out from the real world so much she had momentarily forgotten.

"Do you think anyone saw?" She whispered.

He shook his head, "I assume if they had there would have been a lot of screaming."

She reluctantly pulled herself off of him, feeling entirely unsatisfied. An awkward tension grew between them, as they were suddenly reminded of who they were and of the sheer implausibility of it all. "I guess I'll be going." She stood up.

"I'll uh - talk to Theo." Malfoy frowned, almost as if he was surprised he said it.

"Alright." And she left, feeling more confused than before.

"You know," Harry approached her in the Gryffindor Common Room a few days later, "I still haven't asked what you went through."

"Hmm?" Hermione blinked. Ron assumed she had gone through something like an acid trip and she had made no effort to correct him.

"You know, when you and Malfoy went into Theo's head to figure out the curse." Harry unhelpfully elaborated.

"Hmm?"

"Hermione." He frowned, "What happened?"

And just like that, she spilled everything, from the confusion of the dream world, to their investigation, and all the - indiscretions so to speak. It felt oddly liberating to get the entire experience off her chest.

"You and Malfoy?" His face was contorted like he was trying really hard not to look horrified but more or less failing.

"I mean, not really," she bit the inside of her cheek, "it was quite the bonding experience, moving from dream to dream and never really quite knowing what was going on. I guess I began to rely on him."

"But it was only 3 days, right?"

"Not quite," Hermione paused, "Dumbledore mentioned that time moves differently in our dreams. Think about what time is - it's basically the way we as humans perceive a certain set of motions. It's a construct - so in the dream state, we're not quite susceptible to it in the same way. For us, it felt more like a month really."

"So what now?" Harry asked.

"Honestly?" She bit her lower lip, "It's odd - it's like, I feel both incredibly connected to him but also unsure if I really know him. And I guess I have this underlying fear that it'll all fade and he'll return back to the same dick he was before. Well," she considered, "he's still a dick - just less of a dick to me now really."

Harry laughed, "I'm not a big fan of Malfoy."

"Wow, really Harry? I had no idea." Hermione deadpanned.

"I'm not done," he reprimanded. Hermione made a zipping motion over her mouth and Harry continued, " But it sounds like you care for him," Hermione made a very mature puking motion, "I can hear what you're saying between the lines - you're connected , blah blah blah. I think you like him."

"But that's literally impossible." She pointed out, "He's the worst."

Harry laughed, "Seriously?"

"I mean, he is." She blinked.

"I give up."

"Alright - then what's going on with you and Theo?" Hermione asked.

Harry narrowed his eyes and swallowed, "Honestly? I'm not sure - we talked yesterday and he mentioned he doesn't want to give up on us but he needs some time to get things in order."

"Huh," Hermione tilted her head, considering. "Did he tell you why?"

Harry shrugged, "Something about wanting to make sure he didn't put me in a bad spot." She considered telling Harry what she knew but figured in this instance she'd protect Theo's privacy - after all, she only knew because she had been inside his head . Though at this point she was fairly sure they were in some sort of amalgamation of her, Malfoy's and Theo's minds.

"Well, that's good right?" She smiled.

"Hmm." He seemed unsure.

"Have you told anyone?" She didn't explicitly say it but the implication was did you tell Ron?

"I, uh, I came out." He looked her in the eye, "I told him I was gay. Apparently he doesn't care."

Hermione broke down in laughter, "Of course he doesn't. Typical Ron."

"Right? I was expecting some sort of reaction but he was just like 'good for you pass the pudding'" Harry explained with a broad grin.

"Are you - glad? That it's not so much of a secret anymore?" She asked seriously.

"It's harder." He explained, "The beauty of everything being a secret is that there were no expectations. We just were. But - it also didn't quite feel real."

Hermione snorted, "So you're having your own metaphysical crisis then?"

"Something like that." He smirked and they sat side by side, oddly peaceful in the uncertainty.

Hermione spent the next two weeks both contemplating her personal predicament and watching Theo Nott, who she still had yet to have a conversation with (unless you counted their odd meeting in his mind). She saw him grow more and more nervous, the circles under his eyes growing darker.

She was pulled into an enclave after class one day, "Stop." Malfoy told her.

"What?" She rolled her eyes. It was quite the feat - they could go weeks without talking and yet somehow pick up as if no time had passed.

"Stop staring at Theo." He looked oddly serious.

"I just - what's happening?" She begged, "You know I can't stand not knowing things. I just-"

"How did I deal with you? You're insufferable," he dramatically started massaging his sinuses, "It's going to happen soon, OK?"

"Fuck you Malfoy." Hermione gave him the two finger salute and left.

She didn't have to wait long, the next day the evening prophet came in droves, the front story revealing Voldemort and his inner circle had been successfully apprehended. She peered towards the Slytherin table and noticed both Nott and Malfoy missing.

"Did you know?" Harry asked her suddenly, causing her to do a little jump.

"I," she swallowed, "suspected. When we were in his mind there were variations of this."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Harry wasn't angry - that would be easy. He was disappointed and she suddenly felt like she had smacked around a puppy.

"It wasn't really my place to say something. In a similar way I didn't tell others the things about you that I learned." She explained.

"Hmm." He responded as if he was OK but continued glaring at her.

"I'm sorry." She pouted.

"Oh fine." He rolled his eyes and smiled.

"So do you think things will be OK now?" Hermione asked.

Harry shrugged, "I guess we'll see."

And that was that. She watched the room with an odd feeling of detachment. The Gryffindors were bursting in excitement, the Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws not far behind. The Slytherins were a bit shiftier, many of their family or friends being listed in the round up. It was only in that moment she realized - nothing had really felt right since she returned.

She questioned for a moment if perhaps she was still not in the real world but deduced there was a far simpler explanation: She missed Draco Malfoy.

It was odd - she had for so long thought of herself as stuck with him. But at some point she started counting on him, trusting him. She realized she missed their banter, even his absolutely awful flirting. Without him, she felt somewhat - unchallenged, uninspired. It was a peculiar epiphany and left a strange taste in her mouth.

Should she - pursue him? Ignoring the obvious question of whether he would even be interested in her, was it worth it? She would potentially alienate her friends, create a stir. She was oddly nostalgic for the Muggle Dream World, where it would have been so easy for them to be together. Just a bit of whispering in the beginning and then people would have gotten over it.

So would she be OK with some sort of secret dalliance? Would that be enough for her? While she thinks perhaps it would be, she also acknowledged that she didn't necessarily want to hide. She wanted to be able to kiss him by the black lake, though granted they should probably limit their black lake adjacent activities to kissing. She wanted to be able to tell her friends when Malfoy did something particularly stupid or annoying which she was utterly confident he would do in any scenario.

She looked back around and another thought dawned on her - maybe they were exactly what was needed. She watched as the Slytherins sat like animals in the zoo and the other three houses gawked. There was such division - what they needed was to see they were not all that different. Though, she didn't exactly like that pressure. Perhaps she could convince Harry that he and Theo could become a symbol of inter house unity instead…

Her thoughts were interrupted by a letter that dropped unceremoniously on her head. "Ow." She frowned, grabbing the envelope with a small piece of paper that said:

Room of requirement - now

DM

She narrowed her eyes at the paper - a part of her so annoyed at the lack of question mark that she momentarily considered just ignoring the summons. But then she realized that would be ridiculous. She needed to speak with him and at least in the Room of Requirement they'd have an element of privacy.

"Gotta go." She gave what she hoped was a meaningful look to Harry and headed out.

The Room of Requirement looked strangely like her home in Muggle America when she walked in. Malfoy looked uncharacteristically nervous, twitching on the couch.

"Hi." She started with an awkward wave.

He licked his lips and stood up, reaching her in a few steps. He opened his mouth a few times but no words came out. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" She asked finally.

He rolled his eyes, "I've missed you, OK?" The words were sweet, but his tone suggested utter and complete annoyance.

"Aw, you have?" She teased him, but couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"Yes," he looked up, as if praying to somehow get out of this conversation that he himself had initiated, "I just - everyone else is completely useless. You're the only one who-"

"Calls you out on your bullshit?"

"Well, no, I don't have any bullshit of course," he scoffed, "I just meant - well, challenges me."

"Forces you to wax philosophically to prove your intellectual prowess?" She smiled somewhat deviously.

"See? You're entirely frustrating." He grabbed at his hair.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic." She rolled her eyes.

"Don't you have something to say?" He asked. And she saw it then, fear . He was putting himself out there, granted most of what he said could be taken as mildly offensive but coming from Draco Malfoy this was practically a declaration of love.

"It's possible I've grown to want to be within your vicinity from time to time." She explained rationally.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"Do you need me to find you a dictionary Malfoy?" She blinked up at him again, smirking, "It just means I've come to realize that you're not the worst to have around."

He stared at her, almost like by simply boring his eyes into hers the answer to some riddle would reveal itself. "I like you OK?" He let out, squeezing his eyes shut as soon as he said it.

She couldn't help it, she really tried not to but she laughed. "Are you seriously laughing at me?" He was incredulous.

"I'm sorry Malfoy - it's just, you looked like you were in such pain."

"Well, you made this quite difficult." He pointed out.

"That's what we do isn't it? Make each other's lives difficult. Makes things interesting I think." She walked towards him, so they were only about a half foot apart.

"So?"

"Oh yeah, I guess I like you too." She was going for nonchalant but a slight smile betrayed her.

"This is going to be difficult."

"Is that a promise or a warning?" She asked.

He just shook his head and closed the remaining inches between them and kissed her. The kiss - it was like relief , to know she wasn't completely crazy for feeling the way she did and that he too had been suffering. He walked them back to the couch, grabbing Hermione's hands and pulling her down so that her knees straddled him on the loveseat.

She realized now how inhibited he had been during their brief hook up by the Black Lake. He grabbed her ass immediately, pulling her down on him and earning a soft moan. She deepened the kiss, her tongue dancing playfully with his own as she pressed her fingers up his sides. It was like no matter how close they were, however much she pressed her chest against his, there was too much space.

She pulled up his shirt, yanking it roughly over his head and gave him an appreciative once over. "You've seen it before Granger."

"Well, to be fair, it wasn't quite real ." She argued while running her hands over his back, placing light kisses along his neck.

"Aren't you the one who pointed out 'I think therefore I am'?" He argued all while his fingers began to tease at the waist of her jeans.

"The point," Hermione paused to kiss him, bucking her hips against his, "is that while we may have been real, as thinking beings, the world around us may not have been. For all I know, the you I saw." She paused again as he pulled her shirt over her head and proceeded to give his undivided attention to her breasts, "Is that you, oh fuck Malfoy."

With his mouth now focused on her chest, his fingers returned to taunting her waist. It was something like agony, too much and too little attention at the same time. She continued to grind against him, demanding more friction and had half a mind to just shove his hand down her underwear. "You were saying?" He smirked.

"You could have been, oh god," he chose that exact moment to circle her clit over her underwear. She knew he was doing this purposefully, probably as some perceived punishment for her daring to think while they - did things . She was determined to win though, "You could have been a construct of my imagination."

She realized she should have said Theo's imagination the second the words came out. He continued his ministrations but smirked at her, "Hmmm, I guess you have imagined me."

"Fuck you Malfoy." She licked her lips and kissed him, grinding herself against his finger which was making lazy circles against her core. It was pure agony, she wanted more and now. "Please." She asked finally, conceding defeat in whatever game they were playing.

He pulled her jeans and underwear off at once, leaving her in just a bra and straddling a mostly clothed Malfoy. It was surreal and she was sure at a later time she would remark on how self-conscious she should have been but all she could think was she wanted him to touch her.

His hands returned, their movements still painfully slow, like he was planning to tease her for hours. She started working him from over his pants, but the position on the couch didn't allow much ease of access. "Floor." She suggested brilliantly and he nodded, following her onto the carpet.

He lay her down, lying on his left side with his right hand once more circling that sensitive spot of hers. She licked her lips and stared at him, willing him to kiss her or do something. He simply smirked at her, watching her as she squirmed, pushing herself against his fingers. She placed her hand at the waistband of his pants and his smirk faded immediately.

He sidled up to her so his face was inches from her own, his thumb on her clit increasing in pressure and he lazily placed a finger in her. Finally she thought with a smile in victory. She pushed his pants down as much as she was able and grabbed his length, stroking him like he had shown her in that dream.

She felt a certain amount of - well, pride at the way his eyes instinctually closed and his mouth opened just slightly. He surprised her then, moving his fingers faster, pushing himself closer. She struggled to focus on her hand as he rubbed her in just the right way. "Holy fuck." She let out as she finally found her release.

Of course, he smirked at her, so she rolled onto her side to face him, returning the gesture and stroking him faster. His smirk quickly faded and she kissed him, never pausing her hand motions but feeling the inherent need to be ever closer to him. It didn't take long for him to finally orgasm and she could feel his own stream of obscenities fill her mouth.

They lay side by side, inches from one another. Malfoy was brushing his hand through her hair, which had somehow in their melee come out of its elastic. His face was oddly pensive, "Are you thinking serious things?" Hermione asked worriedly.

"I'm just worried - is there a bird living in this? Do we need to check?" He appeared to be doing just that, squinting as if he saw something in her hair.

She smacked his hand, unable to prevent the grin on her face, "Shit Malfoy, if one of us needs to be concerned with living things in their hair it's the one with all the product. I'm afraid to touch it - will it all fall out?"

"Granger," he said condescendingly, "this is 100% natural."

"Of course it is, just as natural as Lavender Brown's nose." She winked at him.

"Wait what?" He looked shocked.

"Oh, now that the funny business is done is it time to gossip and talk about our feelings?" She placed her hands under her chin, a glint in her eye.

"Ugh." He shook his head, horrified.

Epilogue - The next day

"What did you want to talk about?" Ron took a seat next to her in the Gryffindor common room.

"First, why don't you have some Treacle tart?" Hermione offered.

Ron smiled, "Thanks Hermione!" and started nibbling at the tart.

"So, now that you're happily eating, there's something I want to tell you." She started. He nodded, encouraging her to continue, "So I kind of, well not lied directly so much as, lied by omission regarding the nature of the whole going into Theo's mind thing with Malfoy."

Ron cocked his head, looking distinctly confused, but continued eating the tart. "Alright," she continued, "so when Malfoy and I were in, er, Theo's mind, it was more like a month rather than three days. We grew quite close oddly enough. We're now, kind of, together, like romantically."

Ron blinked, his mouth open, half chewed tart dangling precariously on the tip of his tongue. He shut his mouth and dramatically swallowed. He blinked a couple of times and pinched his arm. "Ow." He frowned.

"Did you just pinch yourself?" Hermione asked, incredulous.

"Well, yeah, you just told me you were with Malfoy romantically . I was trying to wake up." Ron pointed out.

"Well, you're not asleep, it's true." She frowned.

"But - it's Malfoy. " His point did have a certain amount of validity, she had to admit.

"I know." She sighed, "But he's, well, intelligent. And witty. And he challenges me. I dunno, I can't explain it."

"But -" Ron frowned, "you call him Malfoy."

"Yes," Hermione said slowly, "because that's his name."

"No, his name is Draco ." Ron argued.

"But he's Malfoy." Hermione pointed out intelligibly.

"Yeah, but like, if you're seeing him, shouldn't you call him by his first name?"

"I don't really get the connection." She frowned, trying to understand it.

"I give up." Ron shook his head, "Does Harry know?"

"Yeah? Kind of?" Hermione cocked her head to the side, trying to recall how up to date Harry was on her love life.

"Did you guys make a Slytherin love pact or something?" Ron narrowed his eyes, "I mean, he just told me this morning apparently he's been seeing Theo Nott for over a year."

"Oh - is that why you thought you were dreaming?" Hermione clarified.

"Well, yeah. It's just - odd." Ron shrugged, "For the record, I don't plan to start dating a Slytherin. I hope that's not a problem."

"It's fine." Hermione smiled.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this little jaunt into Cartesian philosophy! I'd love to hear any thoughts/feedback...

While the whole "is this a dream or real?" concept has been used many times through pop culture, this particular story was inspired by the episode of Stargate SG-1 called The Changeling - particularly a line Dr. Daniel Jackson said to Teal'c: "Think about it. If you can't distinguish between them, if the one seems equally as real as the other, maybe you don't belong in either one."