As I walked down the brick path to the Ride's front door, I noticed how immaculate the yard was. Not a single blade of grass was out of place and the landscaping was impeccable. It seemed odd to invest so much energy in the precision of the yard, but Fang said it was his dad's outlet.
The wood was rough on my knuckles as I knocked on the door.
"Max!" Angel's blonde head bounced up and down and her eyes sparkled as she opened the door for me. "You haven't been here in so long! I missed you!"
"I missed you too, cutie," I said picking her up. She wrapped her arms around my neck while planting a very sticky kiss on my forehead which I pretended to enjoy. "How've you been doing lately? I'm really out of the loop of Angel World."
She shrugged, and I noticed the sparkle instantly left her eyes, "It's been okay. Fang won't play with me and he's really sad all the time."
"Do you know why he's sad?"
She shook her head from side to side. Two years ago, Angel would've been four and even if she remembered the accident, it was unlikely she really processed what had happened. But then again, Angel had always seemed fairly intuitive. "Is that why you're here? To make Fang happy?"
"I'm gonna do my best," I said and tried for a bright smile, but I'm pretty sure it came out as a rather unpleasant grimace.
"I thought I heard voices," a warm voice called. A moment later, Mrs. Ride entered the room and wrapped me in a hug which was slightly unusual, but I understood after one look at her eyes. Her brown eyes normally danced in the light like water reflecting off a medallion, but today they just looked defeated. She dropped her voice, "Thank you for coming."
I nodded and tried to offer her a smile.
"Why don't you help me set the dinner table, sweetie? Can you get silverware for everyone?" She asked turning towards Angel.
Angel gave a name-worthy angelic grin before floating out of the room to follow her mother's request. I can only imagine how ecstatic my mother would be if Ella or I ever followed an order that peacefully.
"Fang won't leave his room. He barely eats meals; he's been skipping classes. He hardly speaks to anyone, and even Angel can't cheer him up at all. I'm really worried for him, but if there's anyone that can help him get through this, it's you." She gave me another hug with her arms wrapped tightly around me, and I could feel how much anxiety she had been holding in about Fang.
"I'll do my best. We all really miss him."
I tried to step lightly as I made my way upstairs, but each step seemed to creak under my weight. I turned to the end of the hallway to the corner bedroom and knocked softly on the deep brown mahogany door.
"Go away," said a muffled voice.
"Fang? It's me." I pushed the door open slowly and peered into the once beautiful and grandiose bedroom. The blinds were pulled down blocking even the brightest rays of sun from entering the room. Ski medals, photographs and certificates were scattered across the floor and the books that were normally stacked perfectly in line based on series, genre and height were strewn across his desk and the foot of the bed although none of them looked as though he was reading it. A few pairs of black jeans and T-shirts were covering the hardwood.
I shifted my gaze and saw Fang's normally tanned face looking unusually pale from where he sat stiffly at the foot of his bed, his feet dangling over a few shredded photographs on the floor.
"Can I come in?" He didn't respond, so I took his silence as non-threatening and propped myself onto the bed next to him.
For the first time in the almost a year that I knew Fang, I was at a loss for words. I knew he wouldn't want to talk, but he clearly needed to.
Might as well break the ice in typical Maximum Martinez fashion. "You look like shit, Fang."
He turned towards me finally and the ghost of a smile played across his lips, but he didn't say anything.
"We miss you, Fang." He turned towards me again, "I really miss you."
He nodded, the gold specks in his eyes didn't seem to light up today, rather they appeared to have melded into a deep chestnut reflecting his grief. I slid my hand over to his and cupped it in mine.
Thankfully, he didn't rip his hand free and I quickly felt the pressure tighten where his fingers were wrapped. I don't know how long we sat like that, but it was a long time. After a fair amount of comfortable silence, I released his hand from mine. Even as I let go, his touch lingered across my palm and wrist as he took his time letting go. I raised the blinds as the rays from a radiant sunset filled the room automatically brightening the mood. The soft orange light basked over Fang's pale face and emphasized the sharpness of his features. I began stacking up the books from the ground and sliding them back into their assigned places on the bookshelf. As I was sliding Catch 22 into its spot, a torn photo fluttered to the ground that caught my attention.
A young girl with dark red waves that cascaded down her back was smiling up at the camera with her light brown eyes that had a hint of sparkling green. Freckles covered her nose, and she would have looked much older than she was except for the braces taking up most of her smile. She was wearing a white T-shirt from some ski company and a rogue hand was resting on her shoulder, but the rest of the body had been ripped off most likely by Fang months ago. I piled the rest of the books up from the floor and then returned to the bed.
"Is this Lily?" I asked softly. He stared at the picture, his eyes tracing each detail of her face as he travelled down her body.
"Yeah." His voice was coarse, ragged and so quiet I had barely heard it despite watching his lips move.
"Fang, I am so sorry." My eyes met his which were a mixture of emotions I struggled to decipher. There was obviously grief, a hard edge that I recognized as anger and something else that I couldn't quite interpret though it looked slightly relieved. "Do you…do you want to talk about anything?"
His voice was still coarse but audible this time. "What else is there to talk about? Lily's dead and I may as well have been sentenced for murder."
"What? Fang, you can't hold yourself responsible for this. This isn't your fault."
"Yeah well, if I had never taken up ski racing in the first place, Lily would still be here. If I hadn't argued with her about everything, Lily would still be here. If I hadn't gone to the race, Lily would still be here." His voice had risen to a yell and it echoed around the room.
I gaped at him, unsure of my next move. He was angry, grieving and riddled with guilt.
"Max," his voice dropped suddenly to a whisper. "It's my fault. Without me, Lily Jefferson would still be alive. She was fifteen years old. She never got to drive a car. She never got to go to prom. She never got to graduate high school." His hands were running wild through his hair and his eyes were so electrified, I had never seen him like this before. Well, I had never seen anyone like this before.
"Fang," I said softly placing both of my hands on his shoulders. "You have to listen to me: this is not your fault. Lily's death was a tragic accident. You have to understand that."
He had lowered his hands to his side and he was staring at me with such intensity, I couldn't even tell if I was getting through to him.
I was nearly begging at this point, "Please. I love you." I rushed on, "We all love you, and we really miss you. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to be there and what you're going through now, but it's over."
"It's not over," his voice was no longer coarse. "Every time I close my eyes, she's there. I can't stop picturing it. It's like watching a DVD that was scratched and the same 10 seconds just replays over and over in my head."
Whether it was intentional or not, Fang had stepped closer to me and we were now inches apart, eyes wide staring at each other. Feeling stupid, I quickly dropped my arms back to my sides. I could feel his breath tickling the tip of my nose as his dark eyes travelled down to mine. I stepped back and sat down on the edge of his bed.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a torn photo of Fang missing an arm as he gave a forced smirk to the camera. I snatched up the picture and grabbed its other half from the bed and quickly taped the two together before taking a second to admire my handiwork.
"Here. This is how I want you to remember her. Perfect, happy and whole."
His fingertips grazed my palm as he took the picture and stared at it and a small smile finally formed on his face.
"That's what I'm talking about," I said with a grin.
"Thanks Max," his voice was soft yet packed with emotion.
I sat back down on the bed next to him, leaning into his side until my head rested comfortably on his shoulder.
He set the picture down behind him, and we watched the sun slowly disappear as dark a dark red hue blended seamlessly into the midnight sky with stars beginning to shine. Time seemed to stand still as I watched the stars come out through the glass and as I felt the rhythmic rise and fall of Fang's shoulders with each breath.
After gazing at the craters of the perfectly crescent moon, Fang agreed to eat dinner. 30 minutes later we were splitting a deceivingly delicious frozen pizza, chips and guac. The dinner of champions.
Fang seemed to be getting back to his old self as he dramatically rolled his eyes at me inhaling my fourth slice of pizza.
"So," I said after polishing off another slice, "want to make a bet on how long it takes Iggy to ask Ella out on a date?"
"I give it three days,"
I raised my eyebrows. "That's awfully ambitious for someone who refused to reveal his feelings for her to me today."
Fang shook his head, "The fact that he told you means he's bound to ask her out sooner rather than later because he knows if he doesn't do it quick, you'll tell her and take away his 'mysterious romance' as he called it."
"20 bucks says he asks her out after three days but in less than two weeks."
He wrinkled his brow, "This seems like an unfair bet. My time window is only three days, but you get a window of 11 days?"
"You snooze you lose," I said with a bright grin. "You better mow a few yards to save up for that $20 you're gonna owe me in exactly fourteen days."
"You know, I think I may have enough pocket change lying around to cover this bet," a competitive smirk sliding onto his face.
"You're on," I said, and he held out his hand and we shook on it. I felt tingles run up and down my hand where he had touched me and immediately felt a knot rise in my stomach. "Well, I should probably get going. It's getting late."
He nodded while his dark eyes scanned over my face, his colorless pupils moving side to side.
"Are we still on to see everyone this weekend? Everyone really misses you."
He gave me a soft smile and nodded again.
"See you, Max."
He walked me out to the sidewalk, and I didn't give him the satisfaction of turning around, but I felt his eyes following me as I made my way down the block and around the corner until I was out of sight.
Sorry for the delay in the past couple of chapters! Huge thank you to anyone who has reviewed so far, and I would love some more reviews. Any advice, constructive criticism, questions, support and suggestions are always welcome!