Author's note: thank you for your reviews. Still experiencing writer's block on the novel front, so here is another chapter.

Chapter Three: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

After my math class, I headed back to my dorm, wanting to get all of my homework out of the way before I needed to head to the library. I had just opened up my math textbook when my phone buzzed.

"Hello, Mom," I said as cheerily as I could. She would worry if I didn't sound happy.

"Hey, baby! How were your classes today?"

"Just fine," I said, wondering if I had the mental capacity to talk to my mom while solving linear equations. Sighing lightly, I closed my textbook. "Same old, same old."

"Any bites on the job front?"

"Not yet," I said. "But hopefully, some of the places will have a chance to look at my resume and application in the next few days."

"You've got that scholarship, sweetie," Mom said. "You should be having fun, not worrying about a job."

"I am having fun," I said. "Learning is fun to me, Mom."

"You know what I mean. You should be hanging out with people, going to parties, staying up late talking to your roommates-"

"That's not really me, Mom. I've never been much of a party girl."

My mom sighed. "You know what I mean. I worry about you."

"You don't need to. I have Angela and Jessica. We talk. And I'm going to hang out with a couple guys from my Lit. class later." It was a bit of a stretch of the term "hang out," but what Renee didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

"Guys?"

Uh-oh. Maybe I should have stopped at the whole, "I hang out with my roommates" thing.

"Yes," I said, futilely hoping that she wouldn't press the subject.

"Are they cute?"

"Mom, we're just going to be working on a group project. But I'll be, you know, socializing and all that."

"Alright, alright," she said. "I want you to have the whole college experience. I never had that, you know. I just don't want you to have any regrets or miss out on anything."

"I'm not missing out. Promise."

I changed the subject, asking about Phil and how baseball season was wrapping up. By the time I finally got off the phone, I knew there was no way I would get all of my homework done before heading off to the library, so I went to take a shower instead. I knew I shouldn't be agonizing about what I should wear to a group study session, but here I was, standing in front of my closet and wondering what would look nice. After several minutes of self-doubt and annoyance at myself for even bothering, I grabbed one of my favorite blue tops and put it on, brushing out my almost dry hair and looking at the time on my phone.

I had a few minutes before I needed to head out, so I grabbed my Lit. textbook and my copies of Frankenstein and Dracula. I opened Frankenstein, turning to the page I had left off.

"There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand…"

I must have checked the time every minute until I decided it was late enough to leave my dorm and head to the Suzzallo Library. I was in love with this library and had already spent several hours among its vaulted, cathedral-like ceilings, and marble walls. But I wasn't sure if it would have any private places to study, so we would likely need to head to one of the study rooms in the adjoining Allen library. Not that we needed anything private, just that we needed to talk and not disturb anyone.

Edward was waiting for me at the library entrance, one hand on the strap of his bag, standing still and patient like a statue. The corner of his mouth pulled up when he saw me, and my heart fluttered. It was like the ghost of a smile, and I hoped that I could coax a real smile from him by the end of the night, although I couldn't quite identify where that thought had come from. Except that I imagined he would have a rather beautiful smile.

"No sign of Robby, yet?" I asked, stopping close beside him and looking back expectantly towards the library entrance.

"No," said Edward easily. "Maybe you should text him. I think he might be thinking we're meeting at a different library."

"Right," I said, pulling out my phone and searching for the picture with Robby's number. I struggled to send the text, as my hands were shaking slightly, and I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my veins. Edward made me nervous...but I didn't mind. Not even a little.

"So…" I began, trying to think of something to ask him that would break the silence while we waited for Robby.

"What are you majoring in?" Edward asked before I could form a thought.

"Oh," I began, trying to keep up with my thoughts. The conversation topic was utterly normal, but for some reason, I hadn't expected it. "English. Literature. You?"

Edward shrugged noncommittally. "Pre-med. Or Music. I'm still considering my options."

"That would explain the biology, but not the literary theory class. That's not really designed as a generals class." I mused aloud then grimaced at my mention of our biology class.

"I have varied interests," Edward explained smoothly, seemingly nonplussed.

"But won't it take longer to get your degree?"

"Doubtful," he said. "Why Literature?"

All of his answers were so short and clipped. "I love books. Sometimes more than people."

He nodded, either in understanding or agreement. "And you aren't concerned with what everyone says about English majors?"

I groaned inwardly, already tired of defending my choice. "You'll never find a job," "I guess you could always teach." I'd pretty much heard everything at this point, and I had only begun my college career.

"This is what makes me happy. I hope that the people I love can be supportive, but it's my life to live."

"Indeed," said Edward thoughtfully. His eyes narrowed as he seemed to be searching my face for something. After a moment, his expression relaxed, and he looked away, disappointed. I wondered what he had seen there that had him looking so crestfallen and couldn't help my own feelings of disappointment.

"Hey, sorry," said Robby as he entered the library a bit breathlessly. "I was way on the other side of campus. Let's find somewhere to sit down."

"I've reserved a study room on the third floor," said Edward, heading for the stairs. Robby and I followed, and I steeled myself against the climb. It wasn't that I was out of shape, just that stairs, and I hadn't always seen eye-to-eye. I had lost count of the number of times I had slipped on the stairs at home. I followed silently, watching my feet as I climbed and breathed a sigh of relief when I reached the third floor unscathed.

Edward led us to the study room without a word and took a seat at the long table, taking out a notebook and pen, then looking up at us expectantly.

"How has the reading been going?" I asked as I pulled out my copies of the novels we had chosen.

"Fine," said Edward. His jaw seemed tight again, his posture more rigid. I wondered what caused the change. He was leaning away from me, once again putting added distance between us.

I tried not to focus on it too much and instead made a mental list of the positives of this situation. The room was warm and cozy, a nice contrast to the cold October air outside, and I felt like it would be relatively easy to fall asleep in here while studying. My face flushed under Edward's expectant gaze, only adding to the warmth.

"I haven't gotten very far," Robby admitted, pulling out a scattering of papers and notebooks. Somehow, I didn't find that surprising.

"Okay," I said, trying to decide how we could divide the work if no one were ready even to discuss the novels.

"Well, have you been able to identify any themes we might talk about?"

Robby shook his head. "So far, it's just this guy writing letters to his sister."

I tried to keep the look of panic off of my face. He wasn't even to the first full chapter! We only had two weeks to pull this presentation together. It was a significant part of our grade, and I didn't want to end up scrambling at the last minute.

"How about we come up with a list of possible themes and look for evidence within the texts?" I asked, feeling like I was grasping at straws. I sent a desperate look in Edward's direction, hoping he would give me something-anything to work with.

As if finally understanding me, Edward opened his mouth. "Common themes within both novels would include creation, family, ambition, life versus death, and different types of love, to name a few."

"That sounds right," I said, writing down his list. "Have you read both books before?"

Edward's lips twitched, and I sat with bated breath, hoping they would pull up completely, but I was left disappointed. "Yes," he said simply.

Despite my disappointment, I sighed with relief. I'd had visions of having to create actual scripts for Robby and Edward to read during our presentations. I was sure that it would take me far more time than I had to give right now. I wasn't exactly taking a light course load this semester.

"Do they ever get more interesting?" Robby asked, flipping through his book. I'd noticed that he never really looked at Edward directly when he spoke to him and found that a bit odd. But maybe he was intimidated-I knew I was.

"You may find them to be an acquired taste," said Edward. "You'll find they are really nothing like most of the film adaptations and that most interpretations use a fair amount of...artistic license."

"Like the fact that people call the monster "Frankenstein" when that's the doctor's name," I added.

"Whoa," Robby continued flipping through the book as if he could gain this knowledge via osmosis. "I guess I'm going to have to find the SparkNotes on these bad boys."

Edward looked as irritated as I did at that moment. I turned to him, deciding that it was probably best to talk to the one person who could save me from carrying the entire assignment.

"I thought we could go through the books and try to find quotes for each of those themes."

Edward nodded, clasping his fingers together over his notebook. "It's a decent plan, Bella, but I think you're forgetting something."

I got goosebumps from hearing the sound of my name on his lips, feeling the blush begin to creep up my neck and face. "What's that?" I asked, my voice sounding a little breathless to my ears. Ugh, I was such an idiot. I bit my lip in a fruitless effort to distract my body from my burning face.

"We have to look through the lens of deconstruction."

"Right," I said, my mind struggling to recall if I'd read that far into the textbook yet. I couldn't remember if I had. "I'm not exactly sure what that is yet."

A small smile appeared on his lips, and I felt like I might burst then and there. I'd been right. He had a beautiful smile, small though it had been.

"It's essentially the idea that nothing is as it seems. You can't take anything at face value because language is limiting. There's no "set meaning" anymore."

"That complicates things a bit," I said, still biting my lip as I considered how that might change our approach.

"Let's start with your idea first. Then we can sit down again and figure out how the literary theory changes our approach."

I must have known that we would need to meet up again, but hearing Edward say it was both exciting and sad. I knew for a fact that I wanted to see him again, wanted to know more about him-but did that mean we were done for the night? We'd hardly begun.

"I have some time if you'd like to look for some quotes now," Edward suggested. "And Robby can work finding some quotes at the beginning of the novel."

"Oh, sure," Robby said distractedly. "What were the themes again?" I slid him the list, then opened up my copy of Frankenstein to begin my search.

"I'll just start with "creation," I guess," I said, flipping to a passage I knew discussed the topic and jotting down the page number, then moving to another passage, though it took me a few moments to find the one I was looking for.

Edward sat on the other end of the table, taking his own notes, his eyes blinking slowly but otherwise still. He didn't open his book, but I noticed him transcribing an entire paragraph quote.

"What, do you have a photographic memory or something?" I asked in wonder.

Edward glanced up at me in surprise, his mouth opening slightly. He looked down at his paper and then up at me again. "Something like that," he said with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"That must come in handy," I said wistfully. "How do I get one of those?"

Edward didn't reply. Instead, he finally opened up his book and turned a few pages before stopping on the one he had been looking for.

"Man," Robby exclaimed after a few minutes of quiet, the only sound being the rustling of papers and scratching of pens. "This Victor dude is a real downer."

"That's a Byronic hero for you," I mumbled, not looking up from my book as I continued to write down page numbers and any thoughts I had regarding the quotes. After a few minutes of silence, I noticed I could no longer hear the scratching of Edward's pen and glanced up at him.

My heart immediately skipped a beat. Edward was staring at me intently, his brows furrowed, and for a moment, I thought he was angry again.

"How old are you, Bella?" He asked quietly, barely breaking the silence in the room.

"I just turned nineteen a few weeks ago," I said, unable to look away. "Why? How old are you?"

"And you're a freshman?" He asked, blatantly ignoring my question.

"Yes," I said, raising my eyebrows expectantly. "You?"

"Yes," he said, apparently amused by his own answer.

"Okay then," I said, turning back to the task at hand. I checked my phone. It was almost eight o'clock, and I still had a mountain of homework waiting for me. I resolved to finish finding quotes for the one theme before calling it a night.

"I need to go," I said, reluctantly pushing my chair back and standing up to put my things away.

Edward stood up as well, and for a moment, I was reminded of the old-fashioned custom of standing when a lady stood or entered a room. It was an interesting thought to associate with a twenty-first century boy, and I chuckled in spite of myself.

"What's so funny?" Edward inquired, picking up his notebook and bag.

"Nothing," I said.

"Well, I got some reading done. The chapter was brutal. When should we meet up next?"

"Soon," Edward and I said in unison. That was all it took to set me off blushing again. Curse my involuntary reflexes! I justified the need to meet again because that may be the only way to get Robby to pull any weight on our project, but I knew that was a lie.

"Friday night?" Edward suggested, gracefully swinging his bag over his shoulder. I watched the motion, mesmerized, and I had to shake my head slightly to remember what we were talking about.

"I can't," I said regretfully. "I'm heading home right after classes on Friday."

"Monday?" said Edward, not to be deterred.

"I can do that," I said, and we both turned to Robby, who was putting his book away, seemingly oblivious to the conversation.

"Yeah, sure," he said, and I wondered if he'd actually heard what we had been talking about.

We made our way down the stairs, and I looked down at my feet again, walking slowly. To my surprise, Edward kept pace with me as Robby hurried off, in his own little world.

"You said you're going home this weekend. Where is home?" Edward quietly asked as we walked towards the library doors.

"Forks," I said. "It's a little more than three hours to the west."

Edward smiled-a genuine smile with teeth and crinkly eyes. "I know Forks. I used to live there-a long time ago."

"Small world!" I said, my heart rate increasing and a surge of adrenaline coursing through me. I wasn't sure what was so exciting about that...except that Edward and I had something in common. "Maybe we went to the same daycare or something."

Edward chuckled. "I doubt it." We reached the doors, and he hurried ahead to open the door, waiting for me to walk through. "Do you often go home on the weekends?"

"If I can," I said. "But I'm looking for a part-time job, so I might not be able to do that for much longer."

"That makes you sad," Edward said, his eyes narrowing.

"Charlie-that's my dad-he gets lonely," I explained.

"So you drive home on the weekends-instead of spending time with your friends-so that your father won't feel lonely." It wasn't a question.

I shook my head. He made me sound a lot more selfless than I was. "I don't mind so much. I'm not really into partying or anything like that anyway."

"That's right. You prefer books to people."

"Some people," I said, the words coming out more severe than I'd intended.

We stood there in the dim lamplight outside the library, neither one of us choosing a direction to walk in. Although I had a lot of homework, I wanted to continue talking with Edward.

"Hey, do you want to go grab a coffee or something at the cafe?" I asked, surprised at my own boldness. Also, I hated coffee, but I supposed they probably sold other things there.

Edward's phone buzzed, and his countenance suddenly darkened as he stared down at it. "I don't think that would be a good idea." He gave no further explanation as to why, but quickly added, "I'd better go. See you in class, Bella."

I mentally kicked myself the entire way back to Hansee Hall. I barely knew this guy, but I'd all but asked him out. Unsuccessfully, I might add. I felt like an idiot for being so presumptuous. Of course, he didn't want to get coffee with me. When I had suggested it, the look on his face was the same one he had given me that first day in biology. He'd been cordial, even friendly towards the end of the night, but something I said had set him off again. And I had no clue what it was.