Author's Note: I seriously need to stop updating so often because I'm trying to finish my book before the end of the month...but here I am again. I am the queen of procrastination. I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter Four: Roller Coaster, Thy Name is Edward

I seriously considered skipping class on Friday to avoid the awkwardness I knew was bound to follow my invitation and subsequent rejection from Edward. To my surprise, Edward was sitting next to my usual seat when I arrived at my Lit. class sweaty and breathless. My biology class had gotten out late, and I'd had to run across campus to make it to class, but I still ended up a few minutes late. I made a mental note to leave myself more than ten minutes between classes next semester. I thought about pulling up my hair and allowing the back of my neck to dry, but I remembered biology class and decided against it.

Edward offered me a friendly smile as he passed me the handout I had missed at the beginning of class.

"Good morning, Bella," he whispered in his velvet voice as I took the paper from his hand. I tried not to let my surprise show, but I guess I wasn't successful because Edward looked at me curiously.

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Perfect," I said, not entirely sure I was answering his question or describing the way the side of his mouth curled up as he had asked. But I wasn't quite ready to forgive him for Wednesday night, so I turned to listen as Professor Poole began writing on the board.

"Now that you've had some time to acquaint yourselves with Mr. Dickens and Oliver Twist, does anyone have any thoughts on the historical significance of the novel?"

I flipped open a page of my notebook and began scribbling down some thoughts on the question as the class discussed the theme of poverty.

"That's quite insightful," Edward said quietly, and it took me a moment to realize he was talking to me as he glanced over at the page I had been writing on. I instinctively covered my notebook with my hand, glowering at him.

"It's nothing," I mumbled gruffly.

He raised an annoyingly perfect eyebrow at me and smirked knowingly. I wish I had been able to tell what exactly he was thinking, because I had no idea what that knowing look was supposed to mean.

We said very little to each other throughout the remainder of the class, as I was still feeling the sting of rejection and finding his suddenly cheery attitude to be more than a little irritating. I knew I shouldn't hold it against him. Maybe he just wasn't attracted to me. That was entirely possible and more than a little probable. I mean...looking at him and then at me-there was a stark contrast. Almost painful.

"Why don't you share more during class discussions?" Edward asked quietly as the other students began filing out of the classroom.

I looked at him stupidly, wondering why he cared.

"I don't know. Maybe I don't have anything to say, or maybe what I have to say isn't worth adding to the conversation."

Edward cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes like he did when I assumed he was concentrating on something. "You doubt yourself, but you shouldn't. You're quite brilliant for your age, you know."

Brilliant? For my age? What the heck was that supposed to mean? I wasn't sure if it was a compliment, an insult, or some variation of the two.

"Thanks?" I said dryly.

"I've offended you somehow," Edward said, his eyes growing wide and his brow furrowing. "I'm sorry. I promise that wasn't my intention. I only meant that I think you're clever. Is the thought so repugnant?"

"No," I said, almost laughing at his word choice. I didn't know that I'd heard the word outside of a classic novel. "I just...don't know what to do with that. I'm just me. That's not how I see myself."

"I see," said Edward, as if making a mental note. "I'll bear that in mind. Have a good weekend, Bella. Enjoy Forks."

"Yeah, you too," I said, before shaking my head at my own stupidity. "I mean, have a good weekend."

Edward slipped out of the classroom just as Angela and Jessica appeared at the door. I'd completely forgotten that we'd planned to grab lunch together before my math class. Edward and I had been the last people in the classroom, apart from Professor Poole, who was preparing for her next class. Both Jess and Angela looked at me expectantly as Edward walked past them with a small nod.

"Oooh, Bella," Jessica whispered conspiratorially. "You've been holding out on us. Who is the guy with the hair?"

I shook my head, laughing nervously. "That's just Edward."

"Wait," said Angela. "Mr. Angry-Eyes?"

I almost laughed at the serious way she said the silly nickname I had given Edward in the heat of my anger on that first day. "That's him."

"You two looked cozy," Jess said, bumping my shoulder as we began walking down the hallway.

"Shh, Jess, please. He'll hear you," I pleaded, watching Edward's retreating figure and feeling my face begin to blush.

"Well, you did," said Jessica defensively. "And what's wrong with that? He's gorgeous. You should ask him out."

"I did," I said miserably. "He shot me down."

"Dang, I'm sorry," said Angela. "Well, his loss."

"Maybe he doesn't like girls," said Jessica, following Edward's figure with an appreciative grin. I knew they were trying to be supportive, but this was the last thing I needed-this distraction. I was already behind on homework and reading, and I'd received a call the previous evening for a job interview to fill one of several on-campus positions. I needed to focus.

"I'm already over it," I said, shrugging but biting my lip to distract myself from the truth. Because I wasn't even remotely over it.

#

I really tried not to-I really, really did, but I couldn't help thinking about Edward all weekend. It was beyond annoying, especially because I knew next to nothing about him. But perhaps the mystery was part of the appeal. With his changing eyes, both in color and emotion, his soft voice, his intense stare, his beautiful face...and his artful dodging of almost all personal questions, who wouldn't have wanted to know more?

I spent most of the weekend in a desperate attempt to catch up on homework, so Charlie and I spent a fair amount of time in the living room, me surrounded by textbooks while he watched the game with the volume down, for my sake. It was nice to be home amd to have something familiar to help ground me after the chaotic first few weeks of school. I knew it would be one of the few times I would be able to come home until the end of the semester, as my interview had gone well, and I'd accepted a job working at the Allen Library. It was the perfect student job, really. In any downtime, I was allowed to study or work on homework. It was a coveted position on campus, and I honestly had no idea how I had snagged it, but I wasn't complaining.

On Sunday afternoon, Billy and Jacob came over to watch a game and have lunch. It had been a while since I'd seen Jacob, as I'd been pretty busy over the summer, working at Newton's Outfitters and trying to save money for school.

"We should go down to the beach the next time you're in town," Jacob suggested as he practically inhaled his lunch. We both sat at the small kitchen table with Charlie and Billy watched the game.

"Whoa, slow down there. You're going to choke," I laughed. Jacob and I were very different-he was always so happy and self-assured. His warmth and quick-to-laugh nature were something I'd really appreciated over the past year and a half since I'd moved to Forks. There had been a few times when Jacob had hinted that he might have feelings for me as more than a buddy, but he was still strictly in the friend zone. He was still pretty young and I just...didn't see him that way. Sure, he was good-looking, and he'd certainly gone through a growth spurt in the last year or so, but it didn't change things for me. There was always something missing. And I didn't want to settle, not after watching Charlie and Renee and the catastrophe that had been their relationship. I didn't need that kind of heartbreak in my life...

"What do you say? Next weekend?" Jacob gave me his best puppy-dog pout.

I just laughed and rolled my eyes. "You know that doesn't work on me. Besides, I think I have to work next weekend. I'll let you know the next time I have time off, and we can plan something. Of course, I'll have to make sure to finish my homework first."

"Homework, shmomework," said Jacob. "Who cares about A's anyway?"

"I'm thinking the scholarship committee probably do," I reminded him. "But what do I know."

"Right," Jacob said as if he'd forgotten that the only way I could have gone to college in the first place was if I had a scholarship. "Hey, what happened to your arm?"

I looked down at the ace bandage I'd tried to cover with the sleeve of my shirt. "It's nothing. Just a little tumble down the stairs."

"Again?" Jacob asked incredulously. "Dang. Charlie needs to invest in bubble wrap or something."

"Har har," I said dryly. "It's the same wrist I broke at the beginning of the summer. I think it's just a bit weaker now. This is just a sprain, though."

"You've seriously got to be more careful, Bella," Jake warned, not for the first time. "Maybe you should get checked out for that inner-ear balance problem."

I rolled my eyes with a long-suffering sigh. "I'll think about it. Just as soon as I make my first million."

"How long do you think that will take on an English Major's salary?"

I glared, my lips pulled thin in irritation. Jake was one of the few people who could get away with a comment like that. He barked a laugh before apologizing and changing the subject. Unbidden, it brought to mind another face, another pair of eyes, a different kind of laughter, and I felt goosebumps erupt across my arms. I seriously needed to start charging that boy rent for all of the time he spent in my head.

#

I wasn't excited to leave Charlie, but I was eager to get back to school, to start my new job, and to turn in the ridiculous amount of homework I had been able to catch up on over the weekend. I'd made a lot of progress preparing for my next study session with Robby and Edward, and I was looking forward to comparing notes with Edward. I had long ago written off Robby as a lost cause. We would be lucky if we could get him to finish reading Frankenstein before the 30th, but at this point, I was kind of doubting it.

I made sure to remind Robby during Lit. on Monday of our study session for that evening, but he seemed like he was only half-listening as was apparently his way. So it shouldn't have come as any real surprise that, when I walked into the group study room I had scheduled, there was no Robby in sight. I took a deep breath, reminding myself that he still had a few minutes before he was late and that Edward was also absent.

Seven o'clock came and went, and there was still no sign of either of my counterparts. It was 7:02 when the door to the study room finally opened to reveal an apologetic looking Edward.

"Sorry I'm late," he said. "Family drama. What did I miss?" He froze in the doorway as he took in the room and my solitary place at the long table.

"Where's Robby?" he asked tensely.

"Your guess is as good as mine," I shrugged, waving a hand to indicate that Edward should take a seat. He didn't. He stood in the doorway, one hand on the strap of his bag, the door propped open with his foot.

"Did you call him? Text him?"

"Both. No answer."

"Listen," Edward began slowly. "Maybe we should reschedule."

Was he for real? What was he so afraid of? Was he so nervous that I was going to ask him out again that he couldn't even handle being in the same room as me?

"Edward, seriously, it's fine," I tried to keep my voice as light as possible. "We need to figure this project out. I don't want to fail because Robby couldn't get his crap together. Just sit down and talk to me."

Edward just looked at me, wide-eyed, the muscles in his jaw visible. I imagined I could hear the sound of him grinding his teeth but couldn't reconcile it. What was his problem?

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Bella," he said, echoing the words of his rejection.

"Fine," I said, pushing my chair away from the table and gathering my books into my arms, not even bothering to return them to my bag. I brushed past Edward, resisting the childish urge to shove him with my shoulder as I did so. I considered heading for the stairs but knew that the adrenaline that fueled my angry outburst-with my track record-would likely end in my demise at the bottom of said stairs. I turned to the elevator, pushing the button more times and with more force than was actually necessary as I felt Edward step up beside me.

"Bella, wait," Edward began as I stepped into the elevator.

"What?" I asked, my eyebrows raised impatiently. He stood there stupidly, his eyebrows furrowed and the corner of his mouth pulling down into a frown. He looked torn. Slowly, the elevator doors began to close, and I felt an inexplicable rush of disappointment. He was almost out of view when he moved forward quickly, slipping in between the closing doors.

"I didn't say that I didn't want to," he said as the elevator lurched down. "Just that I didn't think it would be a good idea."

"And why not?" I asked. "What's wrong with me that you can't just sit down and just do your freaking assignment?"

"It's not you. It's me," Edward said, closing his eyes for a moment and wincing as if he knew how stupid that sounded. "I can't breathe in there. It's too...stuffy."

I felt my face relax, and I felt instant guilt wash over me. "You have a problem with study rooms? What are you, claustrophobic?

His lips twitched, and his eyes sparkled. "Something like that."

"Something like that," I echoed. "Alright, well, we still have to do this project. What do you suggest?"

"Let's take a walk," he suggested.

We headed south, ending up by the fountain as we talked about the parts of both novels we felt would satisfy the assignment's needs. The square surrounding the fountain definitely didn't have the privacy the study room afforded, as there seemed to be a steady stream of students walking about, but it was better than just going home.

As we talked, I was impressed with Edward's ability to recall exact quotes of passages, but his insights were what I found most attractive. He was capable of a lot more depth than I had expected, and I wondered again how old he was. Surely he wasn't that much older than me? But there was something incredibly mature about his mind. He was still an idiot when he came to communicating feelings and normal social interactions, I concluded, but I supposed no one was utterly perfect.

"Don't tell Robby, but I think he was onto something when he mentioned discussing monsters as a theme," I said, watching the lights from the nearby buildings dance and reflect on the water in the fountain. "But not in the traditional sense, because I'd like to talk about how the other characters have "monstrous" qualities. Don't we, as humans, all have some of those? And it was worse in the case of Frankenstein's monster. He was a product of Victor's creation. What choice was he given? Victor, on the other hand… I think comparing the idea of creation in Dracula would make this quite interesting as well."

Edward sighed, a short burst of air that exuded discontent. "It's getting late. Let me walk you to your dorm."

"I'm fine," I assured him. "If you need to get going, you can just go. I know my way home from here."

"I don't doubt that you do," said Edward, standing up expectantly. "But my mother raised me to be a gentleman. She would be scandalized if she knew I'd left a pretty girl out alone in the middle of the night."

"It's ten o'clock," I said, glancing at my phone and wondering how so much time had passed. I tried not to dwell on the fact that he had referred to me as "pretty" because I wasn't sure my mind could juggle thinking about that and walking at the same time. "That's hardly the middle of the night."

"Even so," Edward said, walking beside me. "It would make me feel better."

"You're incorrigible," I said, but I was smiling as I said it, so it didn't have quite the impact I was going for.

"I think I've heard that before," he hummed thoughtfully, completely unrepentant. "So you've told me your father lives in Forks… What about your mother? Is she…?"

"My mom lives in Florida," I said, trying to assure him quickly. "She and her husband, Phil, that is. What about your parents?"

"My parents don't live in Florida," he answered lightly, grinning when he saw me roll my eyes.

"Where do your parents live?" I asked.

Edward didn't answer at first; his expression was torn once again. Finally, he relaxed and took a deep breath. "That's a complicated question," he said. "My parents, my biological parents, died a long time ago. We lived in Chicago. My adopted parents live about thirty minutes outside of Seattle."

"I'm sorry," I said. I couldn't imagine losing one or both of my parents. The very thought was excruciating.

"As I said, it was a long time ago. I barely remember them."

"I don't think that makes it any better...does it?"

"Perhaps not. But it makes it easier. Tell me more about you, Bella. Do you have any siblings?"

I shook my head, a strand of hair fluttering into my face on the cool night breeze. Edward's hand rose a few inches, and I thought for a moment that he was about to move my hair out of my face. I imagined him tucking it behind my ear, smiling at me, his face moving closer… But his hand fell back to his side, rigid. I moved the hair myself.

"I'm an only child," I said, at last, hoping he hadn't noticed how distracted I had become. "You?"

"I have a rather large, adopted family. Two sisters, two brothers."

"That must be nice," I said. "Less lonely."

"I don't know. I'm kind of the odd one out. A perpetual third wheel, I suppose."

"I know how that is," I laughed. We were approaching Hansee Hall, and I was trying to find a reason to delay our arrival. I needed more time with him. Even the three hours we had spent talking wasn't enough. "I went to high school with both of my roommates. They had boyfriends for the majority of that time, though Jessica and Mike have been really on again off again. But I get it. Someone always has someone else…"

I hadn't meant to turn the conversation from family relationships to romantic ones, but here we were.

"What happened to your wrist?" Edward asked as if only just noticing my shoddy bandage work.

I waved it off like I always did. "It's nothing. I'm just a bit of a klutz. Level ground and I don't always see eye-to-eye, so you can imagine the time I have with a flight of stairs."

Edward didn't seem satisfied with that answer, but I had no better explanation for him. And we had arrived at our destination. I looked at my feet awkwardly, battling with my mind and heart. I knew my face was blushing something horrible, and I hoped Edward didn't notice. I'd already been rejected once. Chancing a glance up at him, I noted that Edward was looking at me like he didn't want to go either.

"I guess I'll see you in class," Edward said at last when it felt like too much time had already passed to avoid awkwardness.

"Unless you happen to see me before then," I started, knowing that I was about to begin rambling but unable to stop myself. "I got a job in the library, so if you happen to be in there studying or anything, you might see me. Not saying that you need to come to see me at work-I take my employment seriously, after all. I'm not just inviting people to come to hang out with me while I shirk my responsibilities, but I-"

"Bella," Edward laughed, but it wasn't mocking or judgemental. He was wearing that genuine smile again. "I'll see you later. Have a good night."

I gulped and nodded, whispering a feeble, "goodnight" to his retreating form. It wasn't until I had climbed the stairs to my dorm room that I realized I had never told Edward where I lived, yet he had walked me right to the entrance closest to my room. I wasn't sure what to make of that. I wasn't sure of anything anymore.