Life of Air

Chapter 12

What We Deserve

Zuko and I both sat on top of Appa's head, going towards where we had left the remainder of the group. Katara had been dropped off in a place Zuko said she would be safe and have time to be alone as she requested. Zuko wasn't too keen on leaving the waterbender alone, actually insisting that I stay with her while he retrieve the rest of the group alone, but I argued for Katara's sake and desire to be alone for a while. I could tell from the start that Katara held a mother like role in the group and knew it would be best if she had some time to focus on herself instead of everyone else.

That left Zuko and I alone.

While I wasn't uncomfortable with the firebender, he seemed to be on edge. He would barely talk to me and when I would touch him in any way, his arm or his shoulder, he would make quick work of pulling from me. I couldn't understand why as he had been traveling with me for as long as he'd be with everyone else and we had grown to have quite a close friendship. Perhaps it was because I argued against him in regards to Katara being alone? It was hard to tell. No matter how close I got to Zuko, there still seemed to be a wall there that caused him to be hard to get close to and even harder to read. I wouldn't let that stop me, however.

"Is something the matter, Zuko?" I asked, taking the direct approach.

The firebender seemed caught off guard by my question, taking a glance at me then turning his gaze to the sky in front of us. "Of course not, why?"

I shrugged. "You just seem... I don't know, standoff-ish?"

It was only for a second but I saw Zuko's gaze soften before he spoke. "We shouldn't... be so close."

Utterly confused, I touched Zuko's shoulder and invaded his space further, trying to get a good look at his face. "What are you talking about? Friends are meant to be close and we're friends... aren't we?"

Zuko gave out a sigh and turned to me with a pained expression. "Iyashi... am I your friend?"

I nodded. "I thought you were, do you not agree? If not we obviously need to talk about it."

He shook his head then and looked away, his expression going more stern than before. He even pulled his shoulder from my hand. "We don't need to talk about it. Don't worry, we're friends."

Zuko's behavior was so confusing and I felt a tug inside my chest that wouldn't allow me to leave the conversation alone. Even as he assured me we were friends he still pulled away from me... but why? Perhaps people behave differently with people they care for on the surface but Zuko and I seemed to get along just fine before. It didn't make sense why he would change how he treated me now.

I sighed in frustration and took the firebender's hand forcefully, pulling him to face me and staring him down with determination. "Tell me what the problem is, Zuko! Why can't we be close?"

"Because I don't deserve you!" Zuko yelled, seeming angry on the outside but the look in his eyes showed the obvious pain.

I started to fume. "After all this time you still think you're undeserving of our friendship?"

"Gah!" Zuko groaned and threw his hands up in the air then hung his head. I watched a light flicker in his eyes and he seemed to have made a decision. He lifted his head up and stared me down intensely. Slowly Zuko came closer and closer, so close I hardly noticed when his hand rested on my cheek. I could feel myself warming with the heat that radiated from the firebender and moving closer as well to feel even more of that heat. Before I knew it his mouth was pressed against mine and we shared something I had never had... a kiss.

It seemed to last on and on but when he finally pulled away I couldn't help but feel the moment was far too short. Zuko and I stared at each other and I watched as horror filled his eyes.

"I'm sorry!" Zuko said, turning away from me and putting his balled up hands on his knees. "I shouldn't have... assumed that you would be alright... with me."

His sudden outburst confused me until I realized that tears were falling down my cheeks. I reached for him but pulled away, ashamed that I had hurt him. "Oh Zuko it's not that..." I insisted, head still spinning from what just took place. "It's just I..." I tried so hard to get the words out but it felt like they were stuck in the back of my throat. I gave a hard sigh and tried to relax. "I never expected anything like this..."

"From me..." Zuko said, still sounding disappointed in himself.

"Not just from you... at all really." I said, trying to explain but feeling like I was doing a poor job of it.

The prince slowly turned his head back to give me a cautious glance. "What do you mean?"

"How can I put this?" I said softly, mostly to myself, and rubbed my tear streaked face in frustration. "Umm..." As the words came to me I felt my face heating up once again and my stomach doing flips, losing all of my confidence in my words in an instant. "You see... lo... lo... love... was never suppose to be in my future." Somehow I was able to force the word out of my mouth yet I still felt like it was sticking to my throat, making it hard to breath.

Zuko gave me an odd and confused expression and I instantly regretted my choice of words, shaking my head vigorously and waving my hands nervously. "Not that I'm suggesting you love me! That's obviously not for me to decide!"

"Iyashi." Zuko said, seeming much more calm now. "Why wouldn't love be in your future?"

I looked at his concerned gaze, falling into those eyes once again, but forced myself to stay in reality so I could explain. "My mother and father love one another, but that's not always how it's been. My grandmother never found love, only a husband. It was her duty to continue the airbender line so she had to have someone help her with that." I lowered my gaze, thinking of my grandmother's stories and lessons, the ones that she told only me since they never pertained to my brothers. "I knew I'd end up like her, she prepared me for that kind of future and I had accepted it... as there was no one in the tribe I could honestly say... I felt that way for."

Zuko sighed and gave me a half smile, obviously pained. "You'll find love, Iyashi, you'll find someone worthy of your love." He touched his heart and looked away from me. "You just... deserve better than me."

I bit my lip and glared at him. "What makes you think I deserve so much better than you? You put me up on this pedestal like everyone else to the point that there is no one on this planet that could be good enough for me."

"Look at what I've done!" Zuko yelled, his anger boiling once again. "You're never done anything horrible in your life and I bet you never will!"

I stood then floated in the air, hovering over Zuko and putting my face close to his from above. "How can you say that? I left almost my entire family and my tribe to go off on some adventure! I chose a dream over the lives and well being of the people I care most for!" Continuing to float, my gaze softened and I touched Zuko's face as he had mine. "You always talk about the horrible things you've done but never the good. You are more than good or bad, Zuko, everyone is. Stop putting yourself so low and me so high."

Zuko's gaze softened and he smiled ever so slightly. He touched the hand I placed on his cheek and took hold of my other hand as well. "You say that... as you hover above me."

I reddened then and couldn't help but laugh, falling out of the air and landing softly into Zuko's arms. At my little outburst and less than graceful landing Zuko began to laugh with me. As the giggles died down, we looked at each other, still smiling. Zuko's hands were on my shoulders and my hands rested gently against his chest.

"Iyashi..." Zuko started, looking at me nervously, "am I your friend?"

I rolled my eyes and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him in a tight hug and enjoying the warmth of his body against mine. "You shouldn't have to ask."

When Appa landed onto the island we had made our camp site, I saw Aang run up to us and I fluttered from the bison's head to meet him. Since Katara wasn't with us I knew he'd be concerned, Sokka as well, so I needed to ease any worry they had.

Just as Aang opened his mouth, I held my hands up. "She's safe, don't worry. She's somewhere she can be alone for a little while until we reach her again."

"Did she..." Aang started to ask, trailing off.

I shook my head. "No, there was no need. She faced him and saw him for who and what he was."

Aang sighed and smiled. "I knew she couldn't do something like that."

"Don't take it so lightly though, Aang." I said and raised my finger in a scolding way. "Katara suffered immensely and she struggled with what she was and wasn't going to do. She needs support from her friends and not lectures."

The Avatar looked at me confused then shut his mouth and nodded, seeming to accept that this wasn't completely over or that Katara would be alright with what took place forever.

"Where is my sister anyway?" Sokka asked, having joined us only a few moment before.

"Ember Island," Zuko answered from behind me, having climbed off of Appa as I had my conversation with Aang. "There is a property there that my family owns and will not be disturbed. No one has been there in a long time and there is no reason for anyone to go there, so I know she's safe."

In the distance I saw my brother coming up to us, his face angry. I floated above the two boys in front of me and landed in front of my brother, a ways away from everyone else so that they wouldn't hear him scold me. Of course it was no use, he still yelled so I was sure that everyone heard at least some of what he was saying. I mostly ignored him as it seemed he was just letting off steam by taking his anger out on my delicate eardrums. The majority of his scolding included choosing to be alone with the waterbender who was so hateful to me and the firebending prince who could use me as a prize, then he was just angry that I didn't tell him where I was going before I left.

I clapped my hands together and caught my brother off guard, causing him to go silent. "That's enough, huh?" I said, a deep smile on my face and a stern tone in my voice. "I'm safe, everyone is safe, no need to worry."

Tanro sighed and placed his hand on top of my head, rather hard actually, and rubbed it making my hair messy. "Right, sure little one. Don't do it again, got it?"

I stuck my tongue out at my older brother and giggled. "I'll do what I want."

A nerve seemed to pop out in his forehead at my blatant defiance and he went to swing his arm up to earthbend at me but I was used to his style and noticed as soon as he moved, jumping into the air to avoid the large rock he was lifting up under my feet. We went on like this for quite a while, returning blows to one another until we were out of breath and laying on the ground next to one another. The others had seemed to form an audience for our fight and once it was over with there were cheers and boos coming from the crowd of friends. I couldn't help but laugh at them.

As I looked through the crowd my eyes rested on Zuko. He had his arms crossed over his chest and he wore a smirk. My face grew even warmer as I stared at him and the tug inside my chest I had been feeling before was present once again. I stood and brushed off my long skirt and leggings, then twirled with a current of wind to get any remaining dirt off of my clothes, the high slit on both sides of my skit made it fly up in the front and back as I twirled.

"So if you guys are done, we ready to leave now?" Sokka said, smirking at my bother and I and pointing to Appa who was now fully packed.

"Yes!" I yelled, jumping up high with the help of my bending. Once I reached the ground again I grabbed my brother's arm and started to drag him over to the bison, much to his protests.

After we made it to Ember Island once again, Aang and Sokka went to Katara first, Zuko following behind them a little ways. I decided to leave this to them, knowing that they needed to have some time alone as they all were much more close to her than I was at the moment. But I still felt peace at my relationship with Katara and what we had accomplished together. Toph, Suki, Tanro, and I all helped unpack Appa's saddle together. I removed the saddle from the bison's back first with my bending as I had seen Aang do. After that it was just about carrying supplies inside the house.

Zuko had told me this house was were his families had vacationed long ago. It was a beautiful home and secluded from the rest of the island, giving us plenty of room to train without fearing for wandering eyes. Plus it was huge! There were enough rooms for all of us twice over. It seemed to be the perfect little hide out while preparing for the battle we would eventually face. Thinking of that battle I wondered what roll I would be playing in it. Obviously Aang was to face the Fire Lord but would he be doing it alone or would the rest of us aid him? He was very powerful no doubt but he was also very young, he shouldn't have to carry the weight of that responsibility alone.

I caught myself in that thought, knowing that that's what Aang as the Avatar has been training to do all this time, create balance... on his own.

A/N - Oh goodness has life been weird lately. I fell out of scheduled posting but I hope everyone is still happy to see this chapter. Please do let me know what you think, it means a lot to know that there are people out in the world who enjoys this story and my characters. 3