"... It's possible you may have a problem." Chara noted, slightly worried.
Peter craned his neck. "Yeah, probably."
He was in a fight with a dog. Lesser Dog, that is. After his encounter with Doggo earlier, he had figured that all he needed to do to get a dog to spare him was to pet it. So when he had encountered Lesser Dog, that's what he did. As soon as he did, the monster's neck stretched and he panted happily. So in between dodging his pellets, Peter had been petting him. Thing was, his neck was now SUPER long. Peter couldn't stop.
"Dude, c'mon." Chara urged. "Lesser Dog is unpettable at this point. Though he appreciates you trying."
Peter sighed and exited the fight. "How much taller do you think he coulda gotten?"
"...Best not to think of it." She replied.
As he strolled through the snow, Peter spotted what appeared to be an Ice Cream cart. Intriuged, he walked over.
"I don't understand why these aren't selling..." The monster manning the cart sighed. "It's the perfect weather for something cold..." Suddenly, he noticed Peter standing there. "OH! A CUSTOMER!"
"... Chara, what's our status on food?"
"You put the last of it into the box. And I have no clue when we'll get more."
Peter thought for a moment, then stepped forwards. "Yes, I wish to purchase some of your..?"
"Nice Cream!" The monster said cheerfully. "It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now only 15G!"
Peter nodded. "I'll take two."
"Excellent! Have a super-duper day!"
As he walked away, Peter pondered the nice cream. It appeared to look like a Drumstick, but the wrapper had compliments instead of jokes. Or a logo.
"Nice fella." Peter noted.
"For nice-cream!" Chara quipped. "Oh no. I'm becoming like the comedian."
"You mean Sans?" Peter asked, when suddenly he smacked right into the skeleton himself. "Ah! Where did you come from? Weren't you just-"
"ive been on the same page as you the whole time." Sans notes, giving you a wink. "at any rate, i've been thinking of selling treats too. want some fried snow? Just 5G."
Peter looked at the puddle in his hands. "That's just water."
"you're right." Sans grinned. "i should charge way more for that."
Peter was about to ask him what he meant, but when he turned to look at him, Sans had moved two paragraphs down. Peter couldn't see that, obviously, so he kept walking.
Along the straight path, he found two huts labeled "His" and "Hers." There was a sign, but Peter didn't bother to read it. Instead, he backtracked and took the other path. He didn't want to bump into more guards.
Down the way stood Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus immediately accosted him.
"HUMAN!" He shouted gleefully. "I HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR..."
Peter suddenly realized that there was no puzzle, and Papyrus seemed to grasp that fact as well, since he turned to his brother and yelled, "SANS! WHERE'S THE PUZZLE!"
Sans shrugged and pointed. "it's right there. on the ground."
Peter and Papyrus looked, and there on the ground lay a single sheet of paper.
"trust me," Sans insisted, "there's no way they can get past this one."
Cautiously, Peter approached the "puzzle", only to find it was some sort of word search called "Junior Jumble."
"He's right, it's unsolvable." Chara noted.
"I feel like it's pretty easy..." Peter noted, seeing several of the words already.
"The big nonsense word? It doesn't have a match."
Peter had to admit it, the puzzle would have been brilliant... had it not been a simple piece of paper. So, he dropped it and kept on walking.
"SANS!" Papyrus groaned. "THAT DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!"
"whoops." Sans said in the most apathetic tone ever to be uttered by a skeleton. "i knew i should have used today's crossword instead."
"WHAT!? CROSSWORD!?" Papyrus roared. "COME ON SANS! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT! WHY, IN MY OPINION..." He thought for a moment. "JUNIOR JUMBLE IS EASILY THE HARDEST."
"Wait." Peter held his hands up. "You're upset, not because he offered two useless puzzles, but because the useless puzzles wouldn't be the right type?"
Papyrus gestured towards him. "EXACTLY!"
"what? really dude?" Sans raised a non-existent eyebrow. "that easy-peasy word scramble? that's for baby bones."
"UN. BELIEVABLE." Papyrus noted in a shocked tone.
"YOU GUYS ARE UNBELIEVABLE!" Chara yelled.
"She's right, what is with you guys?" Peter had a thought. "It's probably your lack of... brains. That make this hard."
"heh, that's not half decent. but... she?" Sans looked confused, but Papyrus had long stopped paying attention.
"HUMAN!" He bellowed. "SOLVE THIS DISPUTE!"
"We're still on that?" Peter asked.
"Apparently." Chara groaned. "The puns were fun, but between you three the amount of stupidity in this snowbank is enough for a headache."
"I actually think it's endearing." Peter replied. "And... uh, I'd probably say the crossword."
"YOU TWO ARE WEIRD." Papyrus snickered. "CROSSWORDS ARE SO EASY. IT'S THE SAME SOLUTION EVERY TIME."
"Really?" Peter tilted his head. "How many crosswords have you played?"
"TO DATE? 3,000." Papyrus looked pleased with himself. "I JUST FILL ALL THE BOXES IN WITH THE LETTER "Z"..."
"I don't think that's how-"
"BECAUSE EVERY TIME I LOOK AT A CROSSWORD..." Papyrus continued unhindered, "ALL I CAN DO IS SNORE! NYEH HEH HEH HEH!" He walked away laughing. Sans stared after him for a moment, then turns and stares at you.
Peter walked over to him. "Is he always like this?"
Sans thought for a moment. "papyrus... finds difficulty in interesting places. yesterday, he got stumped trying to "solve" the horoscope."
Peter scratched his head. "How?"
"i've given up asking myself that." Sans chuckled.
Peter felt he was done, so he turned and kept walking. Right in front of him was a table with a frozen plate of spaghetti. Next to it, a microwave with a single setting. Spaghetti.
"Odd..." He said as he surveyed the area.
"There's a note from Papyrus." Chara added. Upon Peter picking it up, she read, "HUMAN! PLEASE ENJOY THIS SPAGHETTI."
"How did he come over here and make it so fast?" Peter asked, scanning over the rest of the note.
"LITTLE DO YOU KNOW," Chara continued, "THIS SPAGHETTI IS A TRAP..."
"Poisoned?" Peter leaned towards it and poked it. "Wait. More like inedible."
"IT IS DESIGNED TO ENTICE YOU! YOU'LL BE SO BUSY EATING IT... THAT YOU WON'T REALIZE YOU AREN'T PROGRESSING! THOROUGHLY JAPED AGAIN BY THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" Chara paused. "He then laughs for the rest of it."
"Yeah, I gathered." Peter noted.
"Well, knowing that mouse over there might one day find a way to heat of the spaghetti..."
"No."
"It fills you with determination!" Chara chuckled. "Japed again by the great Chara-rus!"
"Hah hah, very funny." Peter sighed. As he walked on, he noticed a sign. He had to do a double take.
"No, you read it right." Chara said. "It reads "Warning: Dog Marriage."
Peter kept walking, until he came to a trap which he simple leapt over. Suddenly, he was in another fight with Icecap, and... some other monster?
"Oh no." Chara groaned. "Jerry."
"Who?"
"Everyone knows this guy." She replied. "He is the worst."
"Wow. You guys suck at this." Jerry noted, not doing anything. Ice Cap seemed perturbed at Jerry, who proceeded to sneeze without covering his nose.
"Um..." Peter stared at him. "What do I do?"
"DITCH HIM." Chara and Ice Cap yelled so hard it gave him psychic damage. When Jerry looked away, Peter obliged by running as fast as he could.
After Ice Cap recognized him, Peter went about five steps before two dogs appeared from nowhere.
"What's that smell?" Asked one in a masculine voices.
"Where's that smell?" Asked the other in a feminine voice.
"If you're a smell..."
"Identify yoursmellf!"
They roamed about the area, until both were three inches from Peter.
"Hmm... Here's that weird smell..." Said the guy. "It makes me want to eliminate..."
"Eliminate YOU!" Snarled the gal. Suddenly, Peter felt that familiar jerk as he was pulled into a fight.
"It's the Dogi!" Chara yelped.
"Is that plural?" Peter asked, trying to walk forward but slipping on some snow, getting a mud-makeover.
Despite swinging their huge axes around, the dogs seemed confused by the scent change.
"Psst. Peter." Chara whispered. "Let them re-sniff you."
"Are you crazy?" Peter asked. "They wanted to eliminate me!"
"Just do it." Chara sighed. "Trust me."
Peter warily let one of them sniff him. It looked confused.
"Wait, are you..." The male one tilted it's head.
"Are you really a little puppy?" The other said.
The seemed close enough, so Peter decided to try and pet one. It seemed excited enough, so he pet the other one. Soon, both were whimpering happily.
"This dog..."
"... It pets other dogs!?" The two seemed as though their minds were blown. Peter cautiously stepped back and allowed them to spare him.
"Dogs can pet other dogs?" The male one gasped.
"A new world has opened up for us..." The female finished.
"Thanks, weird puppy!" The cheered in tandem, then left.
Peter felt as though his jaw was slack.
"Well..." Chara sounded like she was just as surprised. "That was... something. I'm sure."
Peter next came upon another puzzle. Opting to solve this one, he found two X's and a button, alongside a sign that told him to turn the X's to O's and press the button. Doing so, the spike wall, large than normal, popped down. Beyond it stood Papyrus, who gasped when he saw Peter.
"WHAT!? HOW DID YOU AVOID MY TRAP? AND," His eyes shifted, "MORE IMPORTANTLY... IS THERE ANY LEFT FOR ME?"
"... Well?" Chara asked. "What will you tell him?"
Peter sighed. "Well, I wanted to eat it, but-"
"REALLY!?" Papyrus seemed estatic. "WOWIE... YOU RESISTED THE FLAVOR OF MY HOMECOOKED PASTA... JUST SO YOU COULD SHARE IT WITH ME?"
"Ah, well-"
"Just say yes." Chara sighed.
"Yes!" Peter posed. "That was exactly my plan. To share. The rock solid frozen pasta."
"FRET NOT, HUMAN!" Papyrus exclaimed. "I, MASTER CHEF PAPYRUS... WILL MAKE YOU ALL THE PAST YOU COULD EVER WANT!" He began chuckling, and walked away. Peter followed, and found himself faced with the same puzzle, but larger and... strangely shaped.
"HUMAN!" Papyrus said. "HMMM... HOW DO I SAY THIS... YOU WERE TAKING A LONG TIME TO ARRIVE, SO... I DECIDED TO IMPROVE THIS PUZZLE... BY ARRANGING THE SNOW TO LOOK MORE LIKE MY FACE."
Peter and Chara observed the area. "Uncanny likeness." They both said hesitantly. Papyrus, of course, only heard Peter.
"THANK YOU! UNFORTUNATELY, THE SNOW FROZE TO THE GROUND." Papyrus said, sheepishly. "NOW THE SOLUTION IS DIFFERENT! AND, AS USUAL, MY LAZY BROTHER IS NOWHERE AROUND!"
"Huh." Peter thought a moment. "Usually, he seems to be everywhere."
"HE CAN BE EVERYWHERE YET NOWHERE, THAT'S THE LEVEL OF LAZY HE'S ATTAINED." Papyrus replied. "IT WOULD BE IMPRESSIVE, IF IT WASN'T IMPRESSIVELY LAZY. HOWEVER, I SUPPOSE WHAT I AM SAYING IS... WORRY NOT HUMAN! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL SOLVE THIS CONUNDRUM! THEN WE CAN BOTH PROCEED!" He stared at the puzzle. "MEANWHILE, FEEL FREE TO TRY IT YOURSELF. I'LL TRY NOT TO GIVE AWAY THE ANSWER."
"What he's saying is, he has no clue how to solve the new solution." Chara noted.
Peter wasn't listening. This was a logic problem, he was good with that. Utilizing his acrobatic abilities, he carefully tapped each X once, and successfully plotted a route that returned him right to the button, which he pressed to solve it.
"WOW! YOU SOLVED IT!" Papyrus cheered.
"That was actually impressive." Chara said. "For a human."
"You're a human." Peter hissed.
"AND," Papyrus continued. "YOU DID IT ALL WITHOUT MY HELP... INCREDIBLE! I'M IMPRESSED! YOU MUST CARE ABOUT PUZZLES LIKE I DO! WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL LOVE THE NEXT PUZZLE THEN! IT MAY EVEN BE... TOO EASY FOR YOU!" He laughed maniacally, then speed walked away.
"I've got a bad feeling about this." Chara said.
"Me too." Peter replied, suddenly bumping into Sans. "Ah! Dude, where were you?"
Sans shrugged. "good job solving that one without asking me for help, by the way. That works because... i hate doing anything."
Peter sighed and trudged on, though he was suddenly accosted by Papyrus. The surprising thing was that Sans was right next to him. Peter did a double take.
"HEY!" Papyrus yelled. "IT'S THE HUMAN! YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PUZZLE!"
"bro, you said that like seven 'graphs ago." Sans noted.
"THAT'S CAUSE IT'S TRUE!" Papyrus replied cheerfully. "AT ANY RATE, THIS PUZZLE WAS MADE BY THE GREAT DR. ALPHYS!" He then proceeded to give a long explanation about the mechanics of the puzzle. "MAKE SENSE?"
Peter scratched his head. "So I can't step on red, yellow is shocking, green I gotta fight a monster, orange makes me smell like oranges, which is bad for blue unless I stepped on purple, which is slippery, and pink is fine?"
"EXACTLY!" Papyrus grinned. "ONCE I FLIP THIS SWITCH, A COMBINATION WILL OCCUR UNLIKE ANYTHING EVER BEFORE! EVEN I WILL NOT KNOW HOW TO SOLVING IT!" Laughing, he flipped the switch and the board began to change color faster and faster until...
It stopped at a bridge of pink tiles flanked by red tiles. Papyrus took one look, and literally spun away.
"I'm sensing a pattern here." Chara stated as Peter crossed over to Sans.
"you know, that spaghetti from earlier... it wasn't too bad for my brother." Sans noted.
"Really?"
"yeah." Sans grinned. "since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. i bet if he keeps it up. next year he'll even make something edible."
"You mean something that's- PASTA-ble to eat?" Peter gave Sans finger guns.
"exactly like that." Sans winked his left eye, and when Peter spotted something in the trees, he looked and noticed Sans was gone. Shrugging, he just kept walking.