Peter felt tired. And hot. And sticky. Hotland was not for the faint of heart. The pounding heat of the lava below, combined with the droning of some large, far away machine, created a very grating atmosphere.
"We need to find air conditioning, stat." Peter groaned.
"IDK, I'm good." Chara quipped. Peter gave her a look, but the motion of turning his head caused him to see a strange-looking lab.
"Huh." Peter said. "That's unexpected."
"No kidding. Seeing such a strange lab in a place like this just FILLS you with determination."
Peter groaned again, but walked over to it. The door opened, releasing a breath of cool air. Peter and Chara looked at each other. She shrugged, and Peter's spider-sense wasn't going off, so he walked in.
"Ahhhhhh..." Peter sighed as he stepped into the cool room.
It was dark, but Peter could see in the dark better than most. It was definitely a lab, with papers and... action figures? Scattered all about. A light was coming from a nearby monitor, and Peter was surprised to discover that he was the one on it.
"...Odd." Peter noted.
"It's you..? Why would you be on a computer screen in a random lab in Hotland?" Chara asked.
Peter didn't answer, but instead kept exploring the room. Near the end was a bathroom, and suddenly it opened, and a short, yellow lizard monster wearing a labcoat and glasses walked out. She turned on the lights, and was about to do... something when she spotted Peter.
"AH!" She yelped, spinning away from him. "Oh. My gosh." She started spinning in circles. "I didn't expect you to show up so soon! I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and..." She slowed down. "Umm..."
"Friend of yours?" Chara asked.
"You're kidding, right?" Peter whispered. Turning back to the lizard monster, he gave a wave. "Uh, hi! My name is, uh, Peter Parker!"
She squeed. "H-h-hiya! I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's royal scientist!"
Peter tensed up, and Alphys noticed. "B-b-but, ahhhh, I'm not one of the "bad guys"! Actually, since you stepped out of the Ruins, I've, um... been observing your journey through my console. Your fights... Your friendships... Everything!"
Chara looked slightly alarmed.
"E-everything?" Peter asked hesitantly.
Alphys nodded her head like a pop figurine. "Uh huh! You talk to yourself quite a bunch! B-b-but I'm not really one to, uhh, judge. I do that too!"
"So why were you watching me?"
Alphys scratched her head sheepishly. "W-w-well, uhhh, I was originally going to stop you, but... I started watching you and uhh, may have written some fanfiction and... well, reading about someone whose life you've seen really makes you root for them. Even if you've only ever seen them on a screen!"
"I'm not sure how I feel about this." Peter whispered to Chara.
"I want to read this now, honsetly." Chara giggled.
"S-so," Alphys continued, "ahhh, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland! I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!"
Peter tilted his head. "Why do I feel like there's a "but" coming?"
Alphys fidgeted with her hands. "Well... actually, there is, umm, just a tiny issue."
"Story of my life." Peter sighed. "What's the "tiny issue"?"
"Err... A long time ago, I made a robot using metal and magic. He was named Mettaton. Originally, I build him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something. Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful."
Peter hadn't been there, but he had heard what had happened with Ultron. He had a good idea where this was going. "...And?"
Alphys chuckled nervously. "You know, just some small practical adjustments. Like, um... anti... anti-human combat features?"
Peter was slightly alarmed now.
"No sweat, you can't die." Chara reminded him.
"Still painful." He whispered to her. "So, what exactly do I need to be worried about?"
"Well, of c-course, when I saw you coming, I immediately decided... I have to remove those features!" Alphys declared. "Unfortunately, I may have made a teensy mistake while doing so. And, um..."
Peter sighed. "He went rogue, didn't he."
Alphys nodded sheepishly. "He's kinda an unstoppable killing machine with a thirst for human blood but don't worry I'm sure as long as you don't run into him you should be fine!"
A loud clang rang out.
Alphys looked concerned.
Another one occured, closer.
"Did you hear something?" She asked.
The clangs came louder and closer.
"Oh no." She spoke.
Peter pursed his lips. "That wouldn't happen to be-"
"OHHHHHHHHHH YES IT IS!" Boomed a synthetically altered but charming voice. "WELCOME, BEAUTIES..."
A drumroll ran out, and a single spotlight illuminated what could only be described as a TV with arms and a wheel. It looked familiar to Peter..
"...TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!" Mettaton exclaimed. Theme music rang out, and a "live" studio audience cheered as disco lights illuminated the whole lab.
Peter, guessing he would soon be on live TV, realized that perhaps hiding his face would be a good idea. However, finding his mask in his pocket still in tatters, he grabbed a nearby paper bag and tore holes in it.
"OH BOY!" Mettaton exclaimed. "I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW! EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND FOR OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANT!"
He clapped for Peter, and the recording clapped along.
"NEVER PLAYED BEFORE, UH... WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"
"Uh... The amazing Spider-man?"
"MORE LIKE THE BOMBASTIC BAG-MAN, AM I RIGHT FOLKS?" The audience laughed. "NOW THEN GORGEOUS, NOT A PROBLEM, THE GAME IS SIMPLE! THERE'S ONLY ONE RULE!"
"There are no rules?" Peter posed.
Mettaton and the audience laughed. "HAH, NO! WE AREN'T BARBARIANS! THE RULE IS TO ANSWER CORRECTLY... OR YOU WILL DIE!"
"Swell." Chara spoke.
Peter jumped as a FIGHT began. "Chara, what do you have on Mettaton?"
"Nothing good." She replied. "His metal body renders him invulnerable to attack."
"YUP! IT'S RUDE TO TALK TO YOURSELF, YOU KNOW!" Mettaton looked as though he was winking, despite having no eyes. "FIRST QUESTION: WHAT'S THE PRIZE FOR ANSWERING CORRECTLY?"
Peter thought for a moment. "Let me guess: More questions?"
"CORRECT!" Mettaton cheered. "MY OH MY, YOU ARE GOOD! HERE'S YOUR PRIZE: WHAT IS THE FULL NAME OF OUR BELOVED KING OF THE UNDERGROUND?"
"King Asgore Dreemurr?"
"CORRECT! NOW ENOUGH ABOUT YOU, LET'S ASK ABOUT ME!" Mettaton cleared his nonexistent throat. "WHAT ARE ROBOTS MADE OF?"
Peter considered. Alphys had told him that she made Mettaton out of- "Metal and magic!"
"CORRECT! BUT PERHAPS TOO EASY FOR YOU?" Mettaton raised his hand. "TRY THIS! Two trains, Train A and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards station A. If both trains departed at 10:00AM and it is now 10:08, how much-"
"32.058 minutes with no rounding, 32 minutes normal, and 32.1 minutes apporximately!" Peter yelled.
"You're good with math." Chara noted.
"Thanks, I use equations like that to calculate my web-slinging all the time."
"WOW! I AM IMPRESSED AS WELL!" Mettaton cheered. "NOW DON'T COUNT YOUR VICTORY! HOW MANY FLIES ARE IN THIS JAR?"
He held up a jar filled to the brim with buzzing flies.
Chara flew closer to Peter. "Alphys is mouthing "54" over and over. Try that."
"Uhhhh... 54?" Peter asked.
"ARE YOU LUCKY, OR JUST CHEATING?" Mettaton looked like he would be winking in the general direction of Chara, but once again, he had no eyes. "LET'S TRY A MEMORY GAME! WHICH MONSTER IS THIS?"
The picture he showed looked like a Froggit, but Mettaton had shown before that he was two things: Vain and unexpected. So, Peter went counter-intuitive to logic and instead said: "It's you! Clearly."
"WELL I'M FLATTERED YOU REMEMBERED!" Mettaton exclaimed, zooming out to show the picture was him wearing a Froggit shirt. "BUT WILL YOU GET THIS ONE: WOULD YOU SMOOCH A GHOST?"
"In a platonic sense?" Peter gave Chara a wink. She blushed and tried to elbow him. "Sure."
"CLEVER CLEVER... NOW, HOW MANY LETTERS IN THE NAME METTATONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-"
"Thirty-six?" Peter asked before the name got longer.
"OF COURSE THAT WAS EASY!" Mettaton exclaimed. "TIME TO BREAK OUT THE BIG GUNS! In the dating simulator video game "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie, what is Mew Mew's favorite foo-"
"OH! OH! I KNOW!" Alphys exclaimed. "SNAIL ICE CREAM! BECAUSE-THERE'S-ONE-POINT-WHERE-YOU-GO-TO-THE-BEACH-AND-THEY-GET-ICE-CREAM-BUT-IT'S-SNAIL-FLAVORED-AND-SHE'S-THE-ONLY-ONE-WHO-LIKES-IT AND I LIKE IT cause it's actually a deep message about... friendship and..." She noticed that Mettaton was glaring at her.
"ALPHYS, ALPHYS, ALPHYS..." Mettaton tsked dissapointedly. "YOU AREN'T HELPING OUR CONTESTANT, ARE YOU?"
Alphys shook her head nervously.
"OOOOOH! YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. I'LL ASK A QUESTION... YOU'LL BE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! WHO DOES DR. ALPHYS HAVE A CRUSH ON!?"
Alphys looked very concerned. She was sweating profusely.
"Umm... I honestly have no idea." Peter replied.
"CORRECT." Mettaton stated.
Alphys gave Peter a thumbs up.
"DR. ALPHYS HAS A CRUSH ON... THE UNKOWABLE."
Alphys shot Mettaton a glare.
"YOU SEE, ALPHYS BELIEVES THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE." Mettaton continued, pointed ignoring her. "SOMEONE WATCHING HER. SOMEONE SHE THINKS IS "CUTE" AND "INTERESTING." HELLO THEORETICAL PERSON." Mettaton sarcastically bowed. "DR. ALPHYS LIKES YOU. TOO BAD YOU ARE NOT. REAL." He played a sarcastic laughtrack. "
"H-hey, I've done research about this!" Alphys exclaimed. "There are alternate universes out there! Someday, maybe, I could meet them..."
"YOU SAID THE EXACT SAME THINGS ABOUT "MEW MEW KISSY CUTIE."" Mettaton noted sarcastically. "BUT I'LL GIVE YOU THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. PERSON, IF YOU'RE OUT THERE... HOW ABOUT GIVING US A SIGN, RIGHT NOW?"
Mettaton paused. Nothing happened.
"WELL THAT SETTLES THAT, DOESN'T IT?" Mettaton exclaimed.
"IDK, alternate universes could be an accetable theory." Peter noted.
Mettaton shrugged. "WHATEVES. WELL WELL WELL. WITH DR. ALPHYS HELPING YOU... THE SHOW HAS NO DRAMATIC TENSION! WE CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS! BUT. BUT!" Mettaton paused for effect. "THIS WAS JUST THE PILOT EPISODE! NEXT UP, MORE DRAMA! MORE ROMANCE! MORE BLOODSHED! UNTIL NEXT TIME, DARLINGS...!" Mettaton folded up into a box and left.
"Well, that was... something." Peter noted as the music cut out suddenly.
"Yes, indeed." Alphys noted.
Peter removed the bag. "Ugh, that stinks, but I probably should have been hiding my identity this whole time. You wouldn't happen to have any Salicylic Acid, Toulene and Methanol, along with a few other household supplies? I need some more webbing."
"S-sure! But I've got a few more ideas!" Alphys exclaimed. "If you combine it with some, uh, determination extract, you could increase it's strength and give it some magical properties! That would allow you to interact with monster bullets, and even allow you to capture them!"
"The effects on humans would also be similar to, but less dangerous than monster pellets." Peter considered. "Are monster bullets made form determination?"
"No, they're pure magic, but determination makes the magic more susceptible to physical objects." She explained.
"How does she know so much about determination?" Chara asked.
"How do you even have "liquid determination?"" Peter asked. "And how do you know so much about it?"
"Uh, er..." Alphys rubbed her neck nervously. "Nevermind that! Here's the things you need, and, uh, let me give you my ph-phone number! Th-then if you need help, m-maybe I can-"
Peter took out his phone, and Alphys audibly gasped. "Wh... where'd you get that phone!? It's ancient! It doesn't even have texting. W-wait a second, please!"
She took it, and started... sciencing it. Apparently. Peter and Chara exchanged looks. Soon, Alphys returned.
"Here, I upgraded it for you! It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain... I even signed you up for the Underground's No. 1 social network! Now we're officially friends!" She chuckled nervously.
"Thanks Alphys!" Peter said. "Wanna help me with these "Determination infused" webshooters?"
"Oh, I've uh, actually got to go to the bathroom!" Alphys ran off, into the bathroom, and locked the door behind her.
"I thought monsters didn't need to go to the bathroom." Peter noted as he began work.
"They don't." Chara replied. "Something odd is going on."
"With Alphys? Maybe. Still, I think Mettaton is gonna be a bigger problem than her... Not to mention I promised Papyrus to hang out with him and Undyne." Peter shivered. "That's not gonna go well."