We are getting closer people, very close. The final chapters are written.

I can't believe it's been three years...

With that said, enjoy!

Chapter 28: Anxiety

EPOV

The remainder of our winter break was spent near-constantly with each other. Snowball fights, movie dates, nights in with hot chocolate, nights-in fooling around… We never left each other's sides for more than the requisite eight hours or so of sleep our parents required when we couldn't convince them of our "group sleepovers"—seriously, when were they going to fucking figure that out? Bunch of damned geniuses, our parents. We kept our New Year's celebration small—just the six of us—after having learned our lesson with our previous two parties. Yea, we were in high school so the learning curve was pretty slow, but we learned damn it.

Bella had been eating and making significantly less of her pot brownies, which I took as a good sign. She had always smiled and been comfortable when it was just the two of us, and mostly when the six of us hung-out, but never in front of strangers in public or at school until recently.

After we started back at school, Bella was different: a good different. More like her "old-self" as I've come to understand, but still ballsy and incredibly sexy. She never seemed to notice the students that had previously annoyed her every fiber, and instead existed in a more peaceful state than I had ever seen. Sure, she still had her dark moments, but they were fewer than ever despite the fact that Charlie was still gone often gathering evidence in preparation to hand the case over to the DA before the trial of James and Aro along with the rest of the cronies.

Our lives took on another pattern of school, friends, work, and each other. Bella would talk to Victoria occasionally on the phone. It sounded as though Vic was finally getting the help she had needed for even longer than she had been with James. Bella felt good about helping her reach that point of healing—it healed Bella too a little, I thought. It healed us all.

We found out sometime in February that the trial was to be held the second week of March –our spring break. Bella had appeared in the school parking lot, exiting from Emmett's jeep, in a black zip up hoodie with the hood up, her hair a shield around her face, and her iPod's earbuds in, fidgety and visually anxious. It was a Bella I hadn't seen since the beginning of the school year, back when she still hated me. Leaving my car and heading toward her, as usual, Emmett's wide hazel eyes caught mine in silent caution as he too exited the Jeep. I didn't have time to ask Emmett what was wrong before approaching Bella. Swallowing thickly, I gently grasped her shoulder making her flinch. Her surprise-wide chocolate eyes soundlessly and unintentionally told me how frayed her nerves were.

"Bella, sugar, what's wrong?" I tried in my most soothing voice, rubbing my hands along her shoulders and the tops of her arms, afraid that she might bolt at any second like a startled deer in the woods. She threw herself at me, and clutched her arms around my neck, holding tight.

"They set the date," was all she said into my shoulder where she was attempting to bury face.

"When?"

"Spring Break. Victoria called me this morning after my dad had already left for work. She was subpoenaed to testify against them," She explained, leaning her head back to look at me as she spoke. "Edward, I know that we won't be involved, but it still freaks me out. I can't help but worry about what if they got loose?" Bella started to tremble, and held her closer.

"Not gonna happen, Sugar. You're safe. We'll be ok… it's like you said, we're not technically involved," I agreed. "And there's no fucking way they'll escape, especially not if Charlie's involved." Bella stopped trembling, but still looked anxious. Baby steps.

"I guess," she acquiesced as we walked inside, my arm slung around her shoulders, keeping my lady close.

By lunch she was just as fidgety, but less uneasy than before. When school was over she was nearly herself again, until it was time to go home. She was reminded of the blessed impending event and became completely neurotic all over again, so I took her home with me, made her hot-cocoa-and-Kaluha, and put on one of her favorite movies: Charade.

"I wish we could go on trips to wherever, whenever like the Europeans. Just get out and away, ya know?" She said while gazing over her mug at Audrey Hepburn. As she snuggled closer into my side I was struck with an idea.

"We can."

"What?" Bella's eyebrows furrowed.

"We can, that's our spring break. We can totally get the fuck out of town." The smile that had been missing from her face all day finally tugged at the corner of her lips before fully spreading itself as the idea sunk-in.

"Where should we go?" she lilted, her grin over-taking her face.

"As much as I'd love to steal you away off in to the sunset, Sugar, we're seventeen, and I doubt your cop of a father would allow for any place too extravagant," I pointed out.

She got quiet for a moment and turned her attention toward Cary Grant on the screen. Shyly, she peaked over at me from under her sinfully long, black lashes before speaking in an uncertain voice.

"I could take you to Phoenix," she offered. Sucking in her bottom lip, she shifted next to me, clearly unsure if it was a good idea or not.

"I would sincerely enjoy that," I stated. "I would love to see where you spent the last several years of your life. I want to know every bit of you." Leaning over, I sucked her bottom lip out of her mouth and into mine. Bella deepened the kiss, tasting of sweetness and liqueur. We made out—intensely—until the part when Cary Grant takes a shower with his suit on.

"So it's settled then," Bella said when she finally caught her breath, "Phoenix."

.::.

As we got off the plane we were hit with an intensely dry heat. I had never been to Arizona before and despite my family vacations to California, Florida, and Mexico, I was completely unprepared for the acrid hot, hot heat. It was warming me to the core—something unexpected. I eyed Bella warily. She was uncharacteristically quiet on the flights over, absorbed in her music and snoozing on my shoulder. Now as we were making our way to baggage claim, she was stoic, but not as fidgety as she had been in Forks over the past month. She was, however, constantly looking around her as though something was about to jump out at her at any moment.

As if right on cue, Renee suddenly popped up in front of us, waving her arms and screeching her greetings, jumping all over the two of us. Phil stood behind her, nodding and chuckling to himself. Phil and I gathered our luggage as the four of us headed to their ranch-style home. Bella grabbed for my hand as we both stared out our own windows at the myriad of cacti along the road. I felt as though I had crash-landed in another country and tried to imagine Bella here. I couldn't reconcile the image, even though she was inches away from me in the back of the Jeep Cherokee, our fingers entwined.

I was set up in the guest room, and Bella in her old—now sparse—room. For our first night, Renee and Phil took us out to dinner, welcoming us to their hometown, and out for icecream after. The icecream was absolutely fucking necessary as I was very cold-accustomed, and Christ was it hotter than hell in Arizona. Travel-weary, the all-too-present sun sapped energy from us, we went to bed early and slept deeply.

The next day Phil took Bella and me to Chase Field for a visit, where he played for the Diamond Backs. Due to his busy spring training schedule he only had this one day to spend with us. It was nice to do something so out of the ordinary for the two of us, even though Bella had little interest in anything to do with Baseball, her smile was genuine. I would do fucking anything to see that girl smile, including listening to Phil prattle on about how awesome he is. Ok, ok, he wasn't that bad.

Following our day of Baseball, hot dogs on the grill back at Renee's house, and Bella's home movies, the next day Bella took me on a tour of Bella-stops. Not surprisingly, she took me to her favorite bookstore first. The old-school bell chimed as the front door creaked open. It smelled of old paper and leather bindings—musty, for Arizona—but as I took in all the books I noticed that the shop was in meticulous order and obviously well-cared for. Loved, even. The ancient shop-keeper, one that was obviously transplanted from a small New England town by the look of his cardigan and boat shoes, materialized; summoned by our dinging entrance.

"How can I help—Izzy? You're back! I had heard about your accident… oh, come here you dear, dear girl!" His wrinkle-deepened grey eyes moistened at the edges as Bella flung herself into his grandfatherly embrace.

"It's Bella now, Stephen," she coughed as he released her, taking in her well again appearance. His toothy smile dimmed for a moment before recovering himself.

"I see, Bella. I'm so glad you've come back for a visit," he responded, holding her at arm's length, taking her in. The word visit hung heavy from his tongue. It was obvious how much he cared for Bella, and I began to wonder just how much time she had spent in this small store.

"Oh, Stephen this is my boyfriend, Edward. He lives in Forks where I do… now."

I stuck out my hand in greeting, but the elderly man with snowy hair outstretched his arms towards me.

"Come in for a hug, lad. It's wonderful to meet the one that has charmed our dear Bella's heart. I thought I'd never see the day." It was like being hugged by time itself: all-consuming. The smell of aged paper was stronger on his skin.

"It's nice to meet you too, sir," I said as he released me. After the greetings were over, he invited us in for some tea in the back—apparently something that was previously somewhat of a habit for the two of them.

Through the visit, all of my questions about their relationship answered themselves with little questioning from me. Once they moved to Phoenix about six years ago, Renee would have Emmett and Bella walk to the bookstore on days when she couldn't pick them up from school herself and would pick them up there a few hours later. Emmett had usually wandered off a few doors down to the arcade, not being as entirely enamored with books as his younger sister was. The habit stuck for Bella even when she was in high school and old enough to go home alone when Emmett had football practice. Oftentimes, Bella would forsake the company of her own friends in order to help around the shop.

Several hours later, we exited the shop upon promising to come back and visit before we returned for Washington.

"You never mentioned Stephen before," I stated casually as she slid her hand into mine as we walked away. I could feel her looking up at me as I stared at the sidewalk ahead.

"I'm sorry," she offered. She was quiet for a few minutes, gathering her thoughts before speaking again. "It was hard to think about Phoenix at all, let alone the good people I left behind." Her words were carefully chosen.

"I know, sugar," I said as I looked at her, smiling to show my understanding. Her carefully masked face slipped for a moment. I knew she was beginning to feel fragile again—something she didn't deal well with—so I changed the subject. "Want to do something that doesn't require thinking about the past for a while? See a movie, zone out?" Her answering smile was genuine and filled with obvious relief.

"Yea," she nodded.

For the next couple hours we sat in the blissfully dark air-conditioned movie theater watching a flick that neither of us gave a shit about. As I held her close to me, thankful for the updated chairs where the armrests can combine to make two seats, I could feel something brewing on our horizon. It was as if a massive storm was heading our way, and I could feel the thunderclouds charging with electricity: ready to release the lightning. Mentally I began to worry about the trial happening back in Washington. My unease must be due to that, right? I warned all our friends back home not to fucking tell Bella anything without going through me first. My phone was on silent, so I would have no way of knowing if they had contacted me over the past few hours…

"What's wrong?" Bella whispered. She must have felt me stiffen with anxiety as I started wondering about everything that could have been going on.

"Why did we pick a Robert Pattinson movie?" I covered. She softly giggled.

"Is your masculinity threatened?" she whisper-teased.

"Psh, hardly." Nice cover, Cullen, I chided myself. I hated to lie to Bella like that, but right now, she needed my strength. After all, she had given me all of hers.

When the lights came on in the theater as the credits began to play, Bella sniffed and looked up at me. I wiped her tears away with my thumbs, as I had countless times before, and she muttered, "I didn't expect to cry…"

Chuckling, I answered, "Yea, that was… unexpectedly heavy." Damn you Robert Pattinson. Damn you 9/11. You made my girl cry.

"I have somewhere else I want to take you," she said once we had exited into heat once again.

The place she had in mind was a coffee shop, her favorite. Bookstores, old men, and coffee shops—that was my Bella. What a quirky, lovely person. We ordered, I paid. I had ordered a black coffee, hot despite my complaints of the climate around us. Yet, it did nothing to melt the solid frozen block that now occupied where my stomach used to be. The something-electric I had been sensing in the theater grew stronger even after, and my anxiety right along with it. We tried to make conversation, but were both too wrapped in our own heads for awhile to be successful at one. We sat her favorite table in companionable silence for a time before the door emitted another patron.

Bella took curious notice this time at the tall blonde guy—someone I would have described as a surfer-boy, had there been an ocean anywhere near this desert. She stiffened in her seat, and avoided looking at him again. The strangest bit of all was that she did not even seem to be aware of her reaction. "Know him?" I interrupted her silent avoidance of the newcomer.

"Huh?" she arched her eyebrow before searching the shop to find the person to whom I referred. "Oh, the blonde? That's Lauren's older brother. Alec." I turned to look at the stranger again, and saw him staring at the menu—as if he hadn't been in here every day since he became a teenager like all the other peers of Bella's. He happened a glance around the shop and was met with the sight of us. Recognition dawned on his face, and he abruptly left.

"What the fuck?" I questioned Bella, who was obviously just as shocked as I.

Shrugging, she responded, "Fuck if I know… I didn't exactly leave town on the best of terms, though… People are still pretty weird about me." Her answer burned me.

"Their fucking loss!" I hissed. "Fuck them!"

"Edward," she sighed, "let's go back to my mom's place. I was right to leave…" Surprisingly she wasn't resigned, but she started behaving… differently. Bella and I had always been physically close to one another, but she was starting to act somewhat clingy, clawing at my arms if I wasn't flush next to her body while walking to the car. She practically sat on my lap as I drove on the way back, teasingly nipping at my neck. We found that we had the ranch home to ourselves, Phil and Renee had gone out just the two of them for a few hours. Bella became intoxicated with physical passion at this knowledge.

"Edward…" she breathed, sucking her bottom lip in her mouth before continuing, walking backwards towards the guest room. Her deep chocolates fixed on me. "I think… it's time." Her voice was deeper and more seductive than usual. No, she wasn't putting on a show, but I could see the wanting in her eyes. The same wanting she had always had for me, but with it this time, there was also a resounding determination. A new decision had been made, one that we had been contemplating for some time. The fire in her eyes lit me up, and I became intoxicated with visions of her.

Without thinking about the consequences, or the triggers, I followed her. My black jeans strained with my growing hardness. Bella was the biggest turn-on. Once in the room, door locked, we started pawing at each other's clothes, our mouths connecting in the ways we wished to connect the rest of our bodies. Pulling her top over her head, hair fanned around her face like a lion's mane, I was met with the intoxicating creamy sight of her skin adorned with a lacey deep plumb bra. Before I had time to even touch her, her fingers had undone my belt and button, sliding my pants off.

Overcome with love for this beautiful person before me, and the knowledge that I was going to be connected with her in an even more intimate way within mere moments, I couldn't wait a second longer. Picking her up by the waist, I threw her over my shoulder and released her onto the bed, and climbed over her. She lifted off my shirt, and I her bra, thumbing her erect nipples appreciatively, she moaned deeply. The gravity of the big moment we were about the share started to settle. I stared into the depths of her chocolates, imploring something—I don't know what, permission? They stared back into my jades, and she nodded her silent answer to my silent request. I yanked off my boxers, discarding them on the floor, and scooted her further up my bed. Thumbing the edge her plum and equally lacy panties, I was undone by the sexy woman before me, as I climbed over her again. As I bent to touch her, the most gut-wrenching sound filled the room, piercing my ears.

Bella was screaming. She began thrashing around the bed, clawing at her skin, emitting the scariest noises I have ever heard. It was like the screeching breaks of a car that was colliding with another and the shattering of glass. It shattered my heart.

"BELLA! I'm here, it's ok!" I screamed, trying to soothe her and touch her. I was afraid she was going to hurt herself, but touching her made it worse. "BELLA! Stay with me!" I screamed and became blind with tears. Fuck, I was crying. I threw my boxers back on and ran to the rest of the house, bent on calling—I don't fucking know, an ambulance, Renee? I was sick with worry, fear, and guilt that I had finally shattered to pieces her already broken and cracked soul. Before I could even grab a phone, I ran head first into the hard mass that was Phil, Renee slightly behind him.

"Bella! Something's wrong!" I spat, although unnecessarily as anyone with ears could hear the terrifying sounds coming from the guest room. We ran back into the room, Renee threw herself at her daughter. Bella had curled herself into the fetal position, shaking and clawing at herself screaming away.

Renee began shouting too, but in the confusion all I heard was ambulance. Phil ran for the phone and I threw my clothes back on, realizing that I too was shaking and hadn't stopped crying, and gave Renee a blanket to cover my half-naked Love in the bed. Renee had eyes for only her daughter. She rode in the back of the ambo with the paramedics that had assisted her in helping Bella—Bella's screams only worsened as they touched her—onto the gurney. It was as though the sounds coming from Bella were unconscious and I wondered what sort of hell my Love was trapped in. It made sick, physically so. I vomited in the rocks next to the driveway, wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, and climbed into Phil's jeep to follow the ambulance to the hospital.

The silence in the jeep was suffocating.

"I didn't hurt her. I would never hurt her," I said to her stoic step-father in the seat next to me.

"I know." He dryly replied. "She was like this with me after the accident."

I balked, startled.

"What!?" I nearly screamed. A cold sensation sliced down my spine and settled at the soles of my feet.

"I went to hug her in the hospital—you know, after—and she threw a fit like this. Accidently pulled out her IV. She didn't mean to, but it happened. It took about two weeks of her therapy before she could be in the same room with me alone and the first time she touched me was to hug me goodbye before boarding her plane." I regarded this startling news and the man I knew so little and felt sympathy—and empathy. It took me a couple minutes to formulate my reply.

"What the hell happened to her, Phil?"

"That, Edward, is a question I have been trying to answer for over seven months."

Fuck.

.::.

A/N: Intense, no? How are we feeling?

The next chapter is a doozy. It'll get uncomfortable, but Bella's story deserves to be told.

Thanks!

~FabulosiTyxXx~