Steve studied himself, sitting on the edge of the bed. A mixture of the feelings swimming through him. How could she keep this to herself? He kept thinking to himself. The hurt covered his body, lost in thought he didn't even notice the small redhead sitting on the floor beside his feet. I know she has secrets, but what else she is hiding from me? He began processing everything that she told him. Bucky spent 70 years as the Winter Soldier, he was held by the Soviet Union and carried out numerous missions for them. It isn't possible that his time with the KGB didn't overlap with Natasha's time with the Red Room. Steve analyzing everything about Natasha, not her as a person but her as the Black Widow. Then finally like dots on a page, and lines connecting them, he sees the picture. The way she throws her punches, and sets up a kick or how she handles her dagger. These characteristics are not of Bucky Barns but of the Winter Soldier, he thought, through the fragments of the fight in DC against Bucky and himself. She knew what and where his weaknesses were and how she used it to her advantage. Bucky trained Natasha to be the assassin she is today. As Steve settled on the truth, making clear in his mind that Natasha did know Bucky way before her time with him.
Meanwhile...
Natasha sitting at his feet, keeping her hands to herself. Her heart is starting to crack around the edges as Steve is in deep thought miles away. I shouldn't have told him, I should not have gotten this involved. She thought, becoming the little girl that is used only for official use. That everyone she has ever been close with could never handle the lifetime of baggage she came with. Life is easier when she is just the Black Widow, not Natasha Romanoff or Tasha. She looking up at the man she loves and seeing no trace of him in the blank stare, causing her heart breaking under the pressure.
Something changed. Natasha too overwhelmed with her emotions didn't realize that Steve was peering down at her. His hand slowly moving towards to hold hers. Wide bright green staring at him, he could see the resembles of a small scared child sitting at his feet. He could see past the her emerald eyes and see the demons, hidden in the shadows. The pain he felt for her, the girl only used for official business. With a heavy heart Steve knew Natasha had her secrets, but those secrets and demons from her past made her to the person she is. He loves her just the same, flaws and all. She became more of a whole person to him, the more he learned about her. Nothing was going to change the way he felt about her.
He coasted off the bed to sit next to her, wrapping one arm around her shoulders and the other one around the front of her legs, as she was curled into a ball. She molded her body against his. Both sitting there in silence as they come to terms with the truth that filled in the room.
"How did you meet him?" Steve asked her. She nodded her head in understanding before she started talking searching his eyes to see where she should start.
"It was shortly before Clint and S.H.I.E.L.D came into my life. Bucky was brought in to kick our training up. He came in with such force. Many of the other girls were afraid of him with his metal arm and 'super-soldierness'. I found him to be a challenge. Then he knocked me unconscious a couple of times. He spent extra time with me, and trained me harder than any of the other girls. That's when I found out I was a contender for the Black Widow program. Bucky pulled me aside one day, the first time we actually had a conversation. He told me that if I was to survive, and to be part of the program, I would have to kill the rest of the girls. The fact I was a contender, painted a target on my back. They were going to come after me and try to kill me. But if wanted to live, I would have to eliminate any other possible threat. I remember him looking at me, feeling for the first time someone was looking out for me. He told me, do it quick and painlessly. It will cause you less pain in the end, taking someone else's life. There he trained me. We went hard every day with training. He took me to the edge of death and brought me back to life. He did this so I knew how far I could push myself to stay alive. I had to eliminate almost half of my class, the burden became to heavy to carry. He told me that all of this could end. I thought he meant to kill all of them in one fail swoop. No, he wanted to take me away from that place and not have me ever kill again. He told me, on my first mission as the Black Widow, he would accompany me to ensure the mission goes on without problem and evaluate my skills. But he would take somewhere else, where we didn't have to kill anyone or be near command. From his generosity or kindness I didn't know what was happening until it everything was in motion. I hugged him and kissed him. He was who ended the kiss. Telling me that we didn't have time for that, but tomorrow when we would leave for the mission, that last time I would see this place. I woke up I was ready to leave, when I was giving the orders to work with another trainer. Bucky walked right past me as if he never met me before. I was leaving for my mission, and I was told that the Winter Soldiers mission was over and he was needed elsewhere. I started my career as the Black Widow. To only meet Clint, and then Coulson, to join S.H.I.E.L.D and to eventually to find you." Natasha explained watching his expressions, trying to read his face. "The man I knew during the short time I spent with him was erased. I didn't believe it was him the first time he shot me, trying to save an engineer. Then I did a lot of research. The information I gave you was everything I had on him. I lied when I told you where I got it from." She admitted to him. She waited for him to say something. Worry flooding her body. She didn't want to hurt him.
"Bucky taught you how to stay alive. It sounded like he cared for you." Steve said, as he pressed the lower part of his face against the side of her temple, giving her a kiss on the side of her forehead and nuzzling into her hair. "I am glad we both know Bucky and can take care of him." He said into her hair. Thrill jumps through her body as she realizes that he isn't angry with her for not telling him about Bucky, and that she is still his girl.
"You're ok with this all of this? You're not angry with me?" She asked him.
He pull away slightly so he could make eye contact with her.
"I understand why you didn't tell me, there are things that you struggle with. Seeing that Bucky and you have a past and not knowing how reliable his memory is could cause you more pain. But I want you to be able to tell me things. I will work on being there for you more and try my best to understand. When I said I love you, it wasn't something I just said because of the moment. I love you for you, I loved you as a teammate and partner and I love more than anything else in my life." He told her, confirming his feelings for her. Tightening his arms around her, before placing his lips on hers, giving her a soft kiss, holding there for a moment before he deepened the kiss. She held his face in her hands, while he scooped her up in his arms and came to a standing position. Barely needing to take a step to the bed he set her on the bed and climbed in after her.
"One thing though, I don't share." He said against her lips, causing her to smile at his comment.
"I am all yours." She told him, as she pulled the blankets over them. Both getting comfortable and laying in bed together. Steve moving over slightly to turn off the bedside light, then reclaiming his spot next to her. When he cuddle next to her, he could hear her soft slowed breathes, kissing her shoulder and molding himself around her sleeping body. Falling asleep after her.
The early morning sun danced acrossed the room. Natasha began to stir, her small movements, attempting to get up without waking Steve.
"Where are you going?" a muffled voice of Steve's sleepiness said. As he tried to pulled her back to him, being unsuccessful.
"Go back to sleep. I need to make it down the hallway before anyone else wakes up." She told him, holding his hand and kissing the top of it. "See you in a bit." She pulled on her pants, and gathered the rest of her clothing from the night before. She looked over to the bed seeing icy blue eyes and messy golden hair watching her. She sent a kiss in the air towards him and seeing a smile pull across his face.
As she left the room, entering into the hallway. Praying she could make it to her shared room without notice. But she didn't make it 5 steps until Pepper stopped her in stride, in matching pj's and a steamy cup of tea in her hand. Pepper's eyes widen with shock, seeing Natasha leaving Steve's room in the wee hours of the morning with her clothes balled up in her arms.
"Morning." Natasha said as she proceeded to her room. Great now everyone is going to know. Natasha thought as she closed the door behind her.
Clint waking when he heard the door open to see it's only Natasha coming into the room, before repositioning himself on the bed and finally back asleep. Natasha knowing that Clint will want to call his family when he woke up, left the cell phone on his bedside. Quickly deciding she was up for the day, she grabbed her bag and headed into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, she began getting undress, rhyming to herself. She showered, washed her body, decided to leave her hair to wash another day. She continued to hum, washing her face and letting the warm water running over her naked body. Wishing she didn't have to be alone in the shower or have to get out, she just stood under the jet stream of the water washing all the worries and hurt from yesterday away. One thing she learned for sure was that Steve did truly love her and he accepted her. Turning off the water she stepped out of the shower, patting herself dry, before throwing on sweats and a hoodie. There's no reason to wear underwear if we aren't going anywhere. She thought as she combed a brush through her hair, choosing to lace a French braid down the middle of her hair. A lite tap on the door jolted her from the mindless hair ritual.
"Yeah?" She answered. Clint opening the bathroom door, he was still half asleep leaning on the door frame, giving her a quizzitive look.
"What?" She asked him.
"How did everything go?"
"Fine. We are still moving forward, taking our time." She told him in a short tone.
"Good, take a long time with each other." Clint said, being a good protective brother. Natasha unamused, rolling her eyes at him. "I'm just saying I don't want to see you hurt or reprimanded because you killed Captain America." Clint half laughing at her.
"I am not going to kill him. The worse injury he will get is dehydration or a pulled muscle. And I bet he will need rehydrating this morning." Saying as she tied off the end of her braid.
"Gross. I don't need to know what you two do behind closed doors." He told her making a face at her.
"Then don't be nosy, Clinton." Natasha poking fun at him, while she threw everything back into her bag, clearing out of the bathroom, and tossing her bag into a chair on the other side of the bed.
"Fine, whatever, I am not going to ask." He said, as he went to into the bathroom closing the door behind him. Leaving Natasha alone in the room, she found her tablet in her bag and deciding to brave the outside world and try to get some work done before everyone else would wake up.
To Natasha surprise Hill was already up, sipping on a cup of coffee at the over dining room table.
"Morning" Natasha greeted her, as she proceeded to pour herself a cup of black coffee with a large amount of cream and sugar.
"Thought you would want to get some details hammered out before anyone else got up." Hill told Natasha as she sat on the other side of the table from her.
"You know me too well." Natasha smiling at her friend. When Hill and Natasha were both Agents with S.H.I.E.L.D, they would get up way before sunrise and workout for a couple of hours and then would enjoy a cup o' joe, while they planned missions, strategies of action and extraction. Natasha enjoyed this 'girl time' with Maria.
"Where should we start?" Natasha giving Hill the go ahead.
After an hour Natasha and Hill made the outline plan for the meeting with Ross and the trip to New York, the arrangements for Scott and Sam come back stateside under alias. Wanda traveling to be with Bruce and Vision. For Clint, with Tony and Pepper, to their next safe house. Then meeting up with Steve and Natasha in New York for their conference with Ross. Hill was finishing up a phone call, with Stark industries, where she would be returning to work to keep a watchful eye on the inside. Natasha in the mist of speaking what sounded like angry Russian on the phone. Clint making a list of supplies and making check in times and alternative check in points.
Steve walking into the living space, seeing the three individuals engulfed in their task. Steve standing behind a chair with both hands on the top of it, watching the red-head with her quick tongue standing in the kitchen. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she continued her conservation in Russian. She glided into the dining room placing a cup of coffee in front of him. She gave him wink before picking her cup up to pour herself some more. Hill hanging up her phone, and Natasha finishing her conversation not too long after.
"What are you cooking for Breakfast this morning?" Clint asked Steve.
"Have you all been waiting for me to cook?" Steve asked looking at the three adults- who seem to only manage making coffee for themselves.
"I screw up toast!" Natasha tossing her hands up in the air.
"I live on coffee, I don't do breakfast." Hill admitted.
"Sorry Clint you are on your own." Steve told Clint.
"Damn, I thought you would need a mountain of food this morning." Clint trying to poke fun at Steve and Natasha. Only to have Natasha open handedly smack Clint on the back side of the head. Geez. Clint groaned. Hill eyed the interaction between Steve, Natasha and Clint.
"Do I want to know?" Hill asked her friends.
Steve and Natasha looking at each other, deciding to tell Hill they are a couple.
"Natasha and I have started….. We are spending time….." Steve stuttering.
"We are together, like together-together ." Natasha finished for Steve.
"That's great." Hill told then looking sincerely happy for the two of them. The topic was immediately dropped as Tony and Pepper joined them for breakfast.
"Good morning!" Tony greeted everyone with a cheerful tone. Natasha eyeing Pepper trying to read her, seeing if she said anything to Tony about this morning. Pepper giving Natasha a smile, Natasha got the sense that Pepper didn't tell Tony. As Hill and Clint began to fill everyone on the plan. Natasha and Steve remaining quite, their legs brushing against each other's as they sat at the table, listening to the teams plan.
"When do we leave?" Tony asked standing behind Pepper while she sipped her tea.
"You guys will leave this evening. While Steve, Natasha, Happy and myself will leave in a couple of hours." Hill explained.
"Cap, your thoughts?" Tony looking for any protest from Steve.
"Good work, let's pack and move out." Steve told everyone as he stood, leaving the living space towards his room. Everyone following his lead.
"Something is off." Tony said to Pepper.
"Tony mind your business." Pepper telling him. His eyes widen by her comment.
"You know something." Tony knowing Pepper way too well.
"I don't know what your talking about. But I do know our friends risked a lot to come and make sure we are OK, also they are trying to pull us out of this mess. Plus Natasha will hurt you if you start poking around in her private business." Pepper told him as she left the room.
Tony leaning against the countertop, pondering what Pepper said. Two things was confirmed for Tony. 1) He was talking about something being off with Steve. 2) Pepper knows something about Natasha. He needed something or someone to tinker with, while he plays dead.