"How much are these tomatoes?" Nami asked the shopkeeper sitting behind the produce stall. He lifted his eyes over his newspaper, attention stolen for just a moment by her unusual tangerine hair and endearing smile, before dutifully inspecting the produce she presented to him.
"That'd be… one hundred beri per piece."
Behind the navigator, Jimbei flinched. The fishman prayed she wasn't currently in a vindictive mood – when she was, shopping with her resulted in carnage. He could only watch her back with a silent prayer as she went in for the kill.
"How about twenty-five beri each? And I'll take ten."
Before receiving an answer, the navigator placed her first tomato into the large basket Jimbei held and began her search for the other nine. The shopkeeper balked and set down his paper.
"Hey, lady, that's a quarter of what they're worth –" Jimbei, compassionate as ever, sent a sad, slow shake of his head to the shopkeeper over Nami's shoulder. Defeated, the shopkeeper sighed and sat back on his stool. "I can do fifty, lowest offer."
Seemingly pleased with the new price, Nami handed the last of the tomatoes to Jimbei and moved to the next stall with a dazzling departing smile. Jimbei pulled out his coin purse. When the navigator wasn't looking, he slipped the shopkeeper a few extra beri.
By the time the shopkeeper realized his newspaper had been taken, the two Straw Hats had already disappeared around a corner.
Sanji and Chopper perused the fish market on the opposite end of the street. Their shopkeeper wore soggy rubber boots and shucked a greying fish's scales off with a dull knife – Sanji frowned distastefully at the display. As far as the cook could see, the selection was nothing to write home about. And none of the cuts looked particularly fresh.
As Sanji sifted through a pile of white fish to check if the ones directly on ice looked any better, Chopper watched the townspeople in the marketplace, furry ears twitching excitedly.
The shopkeeper and Chopper noticed at the same time that people were beginning to stare at the duo. Sanji did not – he pulled out a few acceptable slabs of fish and dropped them on a scale. He moved on to the shellfish section.
"They're all surprised you even approached the island," The shopkeeper offered in explanation, watching Chopper curiously. When the reindeer didn't respond, the man continued. "Most pirates know to stay away when one of his experiments goes wrong. Too many marines flocking in, and the air quality and all that."
This time Sanji paused, hands deep in a bucket of oysters, and met eyes with Chopper. Both their minds raced with questions. The cook pulled his hands out of the oyster bucket – they looked days old, anyways – and picked up another fish just to keep his hands busy.
But his hands were too skilled. Black Leg Sanji, most renowned for his feet, often forgot this.
He'd started deboning the fish on the stall counter without realizing – his mind was too busy piecing together the clues they'd discovered on the island so far. Ominous gas clouds, mysterious illnesses, possible experiments gone awry…
The shopkeeper raised an eyebrow as he watched the blonde work on his counter. He wondered if this pirate even planned to purchase the fish he'd started handling. And more importantly, how he could debone a fish without even looking at it.
"Who is –"
"Did we somehow navigate back to Punk Haz–"
Both Chopper and Sanji froze when they heard a distant crash, and then a series of screams. Dust puffed up into the sky and a door slammed shut – it was coming from the edge of town. This particular edge of town, both crew members quickly realized, was where they'd left their captain and swordsman just minutes ago. Sanji scowled, dropping the fish he'd been handling. It squelched on the countertop.
Questions would have to wait.
"Heavy point," Chopper mumbled, almost sorrowfully. He paid the shocked shopkeeper, who now cowered at half his height, for the measly selection of fish Sanji had found acceptable – half-deboned filet not included – and turned in time to watch the cook light a cigarette and take a long, deep drag.
"I bet moss-head tried to beat someone up," Sanji wagered. Chopper winced when another crash reverberated down the street.
The cook and the doctor headed towards the sound – the crashes were becoming more central – hoping they could find answers to their questions while they ran damage control.
Jimbei and Nami stood in their back alley nearby, each holding a side of their stolen newspaper and balancing multiple shopping bags from the navigator's spectacular speed-run through the garment district. When the second shockwave passed, Nami recovered enough to scowl into the dark abyss of their hiding spot.
Jimbei wished she wouldn't wrinkle the newspaper with her fist in her anger – there was a crossword on the other side he'd been wanting to dive into back on the Sunny. But the fishman didn't say anything.
He privately considered himself a father figure to the rest of the crew – the navigator, most fervently, due to her history with fishmen. Jimbei hated to see the woman upset or angry. And he hated, even more, when those emotions were directed to him.
So, in his effort to be supportive, yet safe from bodily harm, he remained silent as the grave. A big, dusty blue tombstone next to a raging storm of orange in a sapphire dress.
"What the hell did those two idiots do."
A third crash shook the cobblestone street. A building behind them – brick, already decrepit – vibrated on impact. Shouting commenced inside, and then another crash.
As they say, the third time's the charm. The navigator was spurred to action and stomped further into the alleyway before Jimbei could stop her. She was heading for the crumbling brick building.
Nami was angry. She'd had five minutes of peace – five minutes. She'd only managed to drag Jimbei into four stores by the time her idiot captain and idiot swordsman ruined her fun. And to top it all off, according to the newspaper there would be a fleet of marines visiting the island today.
A whole fleet.
She needed to find the aforementioned idiots before they garnered even more attention from the townspeople. Then they would board the Sunny and find another alcove to park in until the fleet left in a few days.
Nami felt better when she had a plan – her shoulders sagged in relief as she swung the back door of the brick building open so hard it nearly ripped off its hinges.
She found Luffy and Zoro and an old lady inside.
The old lady was brandishing a kitchen towel like a weapon. Nami's crewmates had each taken a seat on the ransacked floor, content to watch the woman while she screeched and flung her arms around – she looked like a schoolteacher lecturing inattentive students.
When the old lady's eyes landed on the navigator they widened, just slightly.
"Cat burglar."
So, the old lady recognized them – that was fine, most people did these days. In the navigator's mind, this made the need for a quick escape all the more pressing. Nami would have to be strategic to get them out of this town before any marines showed up.
She lifted her lips into a polite smile.
Luffy and Zoro both turned and watched with bated breath; they weren't sure if they should be happy or scared that the navigator found them so quickly.
"Are these boys bothering you, ma'am?"
Scared, definitely scared.
The old lady, realizing she'd found an ally in the navigator, lowered her kitchen towel and released an exasperated sigh.
"I told them to leave this island, and they didn't listen."
This sounded like something the captain and the swordsman would do. Nami crossed her arms over her chest and nodded along.
"Because of the marines, or something else?" She asked.
"Marines? Where?" Luffy cried out, twisting his head around so fast it made a full rotation on his shoulders.
"They're coming because of the chemical blast a few days ago. It's a routine inspection, part of the town safety protocol," The old lady explained. "We make sure to put it in the newspaper to keep the townspeople prepared if they need to evacuate. And usually, pirates know to stay away until the marines clear out. Don't you guys get News Coos on your ship?"
They did – it was a constant battle between those who enjoyed reading the newspaper (Nami, Robin, Jimbei), and those who wanted to use it as scrap material or in spitball fights (Usopp, Luffy, Franky). Since Nami seriously damaged the ship the other day, she'd given Franky free reign over the newspaper deliveries as a silent thank-you for his repair service.
Internally, she promised herself this would be the last time she did anything nice for anyone.
"Do you know when the fleet will show up?"
The old lady's leathery face dropped into a frown and she draped her used towel over her shoulder.
"They're already here, Cat Burglar. For a few hours at least. But they usually head to the labs first, and then to town with their official report."
Nami hadn't noticed any ominous looking labs on their approach to the island, but then again most of the shoreline had been covered in fog. And she hadn't been paying much attention, because… because…
Zoro wondered what he'd done in the last ten seconds to warrant such a fierce glare from the navigator. Was his shirt stained, or something?
"Where are the labs?" Zoro asked. It was the first time the barmaid had heard the stoic, muscly man speak – she lifted a single eyebrow.
"They're in the mouth of the volcano at the center of the island."
The three Straw Hats immediately thought of their crewmates hiking up the mountain under the willful leadership of Nico Robin.
This wouldn't end well.
Miles away in the darkening woods, Robin sneezed delicately into her elbow. The sudden noise caused Brook to shiver, and Usopp screamed so loud that his voice cracked.
AN: literally ~ anybody ~ tell me to write a Law fic and I'll do it. That man's general discomfort around cheerful people is way too entertaining.