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Chapter 47
~X~
Tiingilar = a Mandalorian stew made with a hearty blend of vegetables, and a potent mix of spices. This flavorful dish was a favorite, but it's said that the potency is a reflection of the Mandalorian people's reputation for strength as well as their love of a challenge. Even the hardiest warrior was liable to sweat themselves out of their armor after eating the spicy concoction.
dar'manda -a state of not being Mandalorian - not an outsider, but one who has lost his heritage, and by extension his identity. Regarded with absolute dread by most traditional-minded Mandalorians.
"The worst fate for a Mandalorian is not damnation or eternal pain. It is to merely be forgotten. To be lost among the countless masses of dead passing to the next world with every hour that ticks by. To be forever separated from the actions of this world, until all memory of your life and deeds are gone and long past being remembered. To have not a single tear shed in memory of your passing. That is the true nature of dar'manda."
~Walon Vau, teaching Mandalorian culture to new ARC trooper trainees~
Din arrived back on Anoah right in time for dinner…or at least he hoped there would be dinner waiting for him. He was still unsure as to what mood he might find Ravana in, taking into consideration her perplexing attitude when he'd left. Yet, when he lowered the ramp and headed down, much of his worries were laid to rest when he saw her waiting at the bottom, a wide smile on her face. Paz, Junior and Zax were there as well, but he only had eyes for her.
"Olarom yaim!" {Welcome home!} she called up to him, obviously practicing her Mando'a skills.
Din stepped off the ramp, his weapons slung over his shoulder, and locked up the ship just in time to be assaulted by his enthusiastic wife. Much to his surprise, and relief, she wrapped her arms around his neck and gave him a big hug.
"I missed you," she whispered.
"You did?" well that was good to know. "I missed you too."
"Then it's settled, I'm never staying home again and always going with you," she chuckled, tipping her head back as she looked up at him. "I have spoken."
"Yes, you have," he laughed, all his worry and doubt fading away at the sight of her beautiful face. Oh, how he loved her. "But our deal still stands…you only accompany me on trips that are not too dangerous."
"Yes, Din," she replied in that sweet voice that told him she meant none of it. "Whatever you say, Din."
All he could do was give a heavy sigh, for truthfully, arguing with her right now was the last thing he wanted to do. So, instead he wrapped his arm around her waist and gave her a loving squeeze as the two of them made their way back to where Paz, Junior and Zax waited.
"How was your trip?" the large Mandalorian greeted him, passing over the anxious kid as soon as Din was within reach. Zax began to race around his master's feet, yipping a few times in greeting. "Any of the bounties give you trouble?"
"One of them did," he said with a shrug of indifference.
"Oh? What kind of trouble?" Ravana questioned, not liking the sound of that.
"He tried to talk to me," Din revealed. "Insisted on carrying on a conversation...so into the carbonite chamber he went." This of course earned a few snorts of laughter from Paz and Ravana, but Din was already too distracted by the kid. The little String-bean jabbering on as if telling him everything that had happened while he'd been away.
"Well, at the risk of inflaming your ire as well, oh non-communicative one," Paz chuckled. "Might I ask if you happened to see Cara…and did she mention me by any chance?"
"Cara? Yeah, I saw her," Din nodded absently, still not taking his eyes off the kid.
"And?" Paz pressed. "Did she send a message, or anything at all for me?"
"Oh, right," he said, acting as if he were in deep thought. "You know, come to mention it, she did give me something to pass along to you. Now where did I put that?" Here he began to pat his pockets with the hand not holding Junior, pretending he didn't know what he'd done with it.
"Gev, Din!" {stop it, Din} Paz growled, apparently in no mood for jokes. "Ne shab'ruduniÖ!" {Don't mess with me}
"Udesiir," {calm down} he chuckled, tossing the chip into his eager hands. "Cara says hello."
"Oh, I'm willing to bet she said more than just hello," he stated in an excited tone. "And if you will excuse me, I'm off to find out what words of love my dulcet angel has for me this time." And turning quickly away he went.
"Dulcet angel?" Din repeated in shock.
"Words of love?" Ravana added, her voice revealing her surprise just as much. "Is he even speaking about the same woman we know?"
"Love does crazy things to people," Din stated with a shrug.
"But not us," she contradicted. "I mean, yes, we are in love, but we never went insane from it…did we?"
"No, never," Din affirmed with a shake of his head. "We remained well within our right minds."
"That's what I thought," Ravana giggled, snuggling into his side as he placed his arm over her shoulder. "Let's go home. You look pretty tired and I have dinner ready and waiting," she announced, the four of them heading off in the same direction as Paz had gone. "Oh…and I have a surprise, or two, for you as well."
"Oh? What might that be?" Din asked.
"You just have to wait till we get back home…because, trust me, you will need to be sitting down for both of them," Ravana warned, not even sure which one would surprise him the most.
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"Something smells delicious," Din said, removing his helmet and inhaling deeply the moment he walked into their quarters. Ravana had done a lot to make it livable for the four of them, and it was starting to feel more and more like home to him. For years he'd only felt comfortable on the Razor Crest…but now, home was wherever Ravana, the kid, and Zax were. "That wouldn't by any chance be Tiingilar, would it?"
"I can never fool you," Ravana laughed. "Though I did make a second batch for me and Junior, one with only a fraction of the spices. I still can't see how you can stand to eat something that strong. It burns my eyes just cooking it."
"You shouldn't make it if it causes you discomfort," Din insisted.
"Oh, please," she scoffed. "Did you honestly think I wouldn't welcome you home with a meal fit for a conquering hero? Shame on you for doubting me."
"I would never doubt you, cyar'ika,"{my darling} He assured her, sitting on the sofa as he put the kid down to play. "However, you were acting a bit…distant just before I left. I won't lie and say I wasn't worried that you might be upset with me."
"What? No! Of course not," she insisted, forgetting all about dinner and coming to sit beside him. "How could you even think such a thing? I love you, Din. Ni kar'tayli gar darasuum." {I hold you in my heart forever.}
"You are getting very good at speaking Mando'a," Din smiled, loving the way it seemed to sound all the better coming from her lips.
"The romantic words are the easiest…since I get to say them so often," she giggled, before turning serious once again. "And you're right, I suppose I was acting kind of strange lately," Ravana confessed. "But I had a very good reason."
"You did?" Her admission had him on edge. "Would it have anything to do with the surprises you said you had for me? I'm sitting down…might you be willing to share it with me now?"
"Well, if I don't, you'd figure it out pretty quick on your own," she told him with a smile. "You see, Din, I chose to stay behind on this trip because I wanted to see if I was right about something I suspected." Here she reached out and took hold of his hand, placing it over her stomach. "Looks like our idea to increase the covert's numbers was a success…and I'm not talking about Paz's plan with the Dark Saber."
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Din was struck dumb, understanding exactly what Ravana meant the moment the words left her mouth. She was pregnant! She was carrying his child and they had just become a clan of four!
"Are…are you sure?" he gasped, unable to stop the hand that covered her midsection from shaking. "A baby?"
"Well, it aint no Jawa," she laughed. "Or at least it better not be, seeing how you have an aversion to the little fellas."
"When? Do you know how soon?" was his next question, the shock still evident on his handsome face.
"Six months and thirteen days…according to the medial droid," she informed him. "It appears we move fast."
Din was on his feet in a flash, drawing Ravana up with him as he swung her around elatedly. This had her squealing, and that of course caused Zax and Junior to want to join in the fun as well. The little white zaktan yipping and dancing around his legs, with the kid giggling as he held out his arms, wishing to be picked up and swung around too.
"I'm going to be a father…again!" he shouted, not caring who might overhear his announcement. When the kid squealed once more, determined not to be ignored, Din turned and smiled down at him. In one quick motion, he scooped Junior up and gave him a playful toss into the air, much to the child's delight. "You're going to be a big brother! Can you believe it?" He then wrapped his free arm around Ravana and pulled her in for a group hug.
"I doubt Junior will ever truly be a big anything," Ravana chuckled. "But yes, he will be an older sibling to our new little one."
"And what a good brother he will be too," Din affirmed, tickling Junior under the chin. "Protective…and with the power to back it up."
"Don't forget about Zax," she reminded him, bending down to pick him up as well. The zaktan sat still in her arms, his tongue lolling out of his mouth and his eyes were bright with excitement…even if he didn't actually know why. "Between the both of them, their little sister will be safe from everything."
"Sister?" Din's eyes grew wide with shock. "It's a…girl?"
"Maybe," Ravana grinned, looking down at her stomach. "I told the medical droid not to tell me the sex. I know we could find out rather easily, but –"
"No! I agree, let's be surprised," Din countered. "I don't want to know until he or she is here."
"Me either," Ravana beamed. Just then, the sound of an electrical timer went off, signaling that dinner was ready. "I'll go get that," she announced, setting Zax down and turning to go, but Din's hand stopped her.
"I…I can't tell you how happy this makes me, Ravana," he whispered, pulling her close and resting his forehead against hers, the kid sandwiched in between. "You've changed my life so much since we met, but this has gone far beyond my hopes and expectations. I love you, cyar'ika." {my darling}
"And I love you, my kotep vhett," she told him, reaching up on her tiptoes to kiss him, but the moment their lips met, he began to laugh. "What?" she demanded, not finding anything overly funny about the touching moment.
"You just called me your brave farmer," Din told her, the merriment in his eyes plain to see. "Yet, I don't know the first thing about planting or harvesting. What were you trying to say?"
"Brave warrior!" she huffed, slapping at his chest for his teasing.
"Ah, then the word you were looking for was verd," he informed her. "And I thank you for the attempted compliment."
"I'll master Mando'a yet," she laughed, finding the mix-up rather funny as well. "But until then, how about I simply go rescue dinner, before it is overdone, and you have only scorched stew to eat."
"Can't have that!" he agreed. "But wait…you should rest. I'll get dinner."
"Din…I'm not even showing yet!" she huffed. "You're not going to try and lock me in a padded room for the next six months, are you?"
"As if you'd let me," he scoffed, knowing that would be a losing battle. "But I will spoil you every chance I get. You're carrying our child, Ravana, you can't expect me not to pamper you."
"Oh, trust me, I'll let you…but only when I need it," she insisted.
"And I say at this very moment, you need it," Din asserted. "Now, sit down, play with our son, and let me get dinner. Alright?"
"Fine…but don't expect this to become a habit, you bossing me around and all," she laughed. "Still, being waited on might be nice…let's try it out and see what I think." Ravana then leaned back on the sofa and propped her feet up on the small table in front of her, a satisfied look on her face. "Yes…I could get used to this."
This had Din laughing, loving how his wife could always put a smile on his face. Oh, how he would enjoy spoiling her for the next six months and thirteen days.
"Good, now sit right there and don't move a muscle," he instructed. "I'll be right back." And into the kitchen he went, the sound of dishes and cups rattling quite loudly making its way back out to her.
"I hope he knows what he's doing, Junior," she whispered to the kid, the two of them cringing as they heard the sound of something being dropped on the floor.
"It's all right!" he called out. "Nothing broke."
Ravana smiled, loving just how happy this news had made him. She hadn't been too worried, but still, a baby would eventually change things for them. They might need to find new accommodations, something with a bit more room. And would he allow her to travel with him now that she was pregnant? All these things would need to be discussed, but not now. Right now they would celebrate the new life growing within her and just be happy.
However…Ravana also knew there was another bombshell she had to drop on him tonight. For the news that his parents were still alive could not wait much longer than after dinner. That was for sure.
As Din brought out a tray laden with bowls of Tiingilar, he took a moment to gaze at his family. It was amazing to him how much he now craved the interaction and conversations with the three beings in front of him - when before he hardly ever spoke at all. Love could truly change your life, he thought to himself.
"We'll have to choose names soon," he spoke up as he came forward and placed the food on the small table. He sat down next to her and gently moved Ravana's feet onto his lap so that she was laying down comfortably, facing him. "We can't spend months referring to him or her as the kid and the child like we did with this one," he pointed out, gesturing to Junior. "Though until it's born, and we know if it's a she, or a he, we can call it Ad'ika." {little one}
"Oh, I like that. Ad'ika it will be for now," Ravana agreed. "Do you have any ideas or preferences for a long-term name though, once our Ad'ika is born?"
"Maybe, but you should eat first," he encouraged, handing her one of the bowls that contained the not so spicy version of the meal. "After all, I can't have you going hungry. You're eating for two now." He next placed the kid's food in front of him, the little tyke just recently having learned to use a spoon…mostly. However, Din knew that Zax was ready and waiting to clean up any messes Junior left behind.
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They spent their mealtime eating, laughing, and dreaming up names for both a boy and a girl. Junior was of no help, his mouth stuffed full of food for most of the conversation. In the end, they realized they had far too many choices, and only one new baby to bestow it on.
"So, unless we plan on giving our Ad'ika a whole long list of names, we'll need to narrow it down to just a few," Ravana laughed. Her eyes suddenly growing wide with realization. "My mother gave me her last name as my middle one! Is that a Mandalorian thing?"
"For some," he nodded. "Those from Concord Dawn apparently continue the custom."
"Then would our child's middle name need to be Searan?" she questioned.
"Only if that's what you wish," he assured her. "No one dictates what we choose to do, or not…only us. Our children can have any name they wish…as long as it ends in Djarin," he smiled.
"There's still so much for me to learn about this culture," she sighed, swinging her legs over the side of the sofa and picking up their empty dishes. The kid was finished as well, and Zax had done a good job picking up what had been dropped.
"You're doing just fine, Ravana," he told her. "Much better than any others in your situation would, I'm sure." It then occurred to him what she was doing, and he stood up like a shot. "Let me do that!"
"Din…I'm not an invalid and as much as I love the fact that you want to take care of me, I'm not going to sit around and get fat while you wait on me hand and foot." She laughed just a bit at that. "Well, I am going to get fat…but let it be from the child and not because I became completely inactive. Let me take these into the kitchen while you spend some time with Junior. He missed you too, you know."
"And I missed him," he nodded, seeing her point – even if he didn't exactly agree with it. "Just be careful, all right? Don't overdo it."
"I won't," she promised, heading into the kitchen with a smile of victory.
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Din had missed Junior a great deal and was only too happy to spend a bit of time with his son. Just then he felt a tugging at his pantleg, and looking down, Din saw that the kid had brought several of his toys over for Din to inspect and marvel over, babbling on about this and that as he did.
With a wide grin, Din sat down and began to accept each one as if it were a treasure, oohing and awing over them as any good father should. Yet, when the kid held up one he'd not seen before, he eyed it curiously.
"What's this? Something new?" Din questioned, accepting the wooden toy shaped like a Wookie. "Where did this come from?"
From the kitchen doorway, Ravana heard his question and froze where she stood. Din could only be talking about the toy she'd bought for Junior at Bernard's stall. Would he recognize it as his father's handywork? She quickly poked her head through the archway and watched as Din turned the Wookie over in his hands, examining it in great detail.
"I bought that today at the market," she informed him. "Isn't it nice?"
"Yes…very nice," he nodded, his tone telling her he was lost in thought. "It…it reminds me of one I had when I was little. My father carved it for me. It's amazingly similar."
Ravana had been looking for an opening to broach the subject of his parents…and this appeared to be as good a time as any. Still, maybe one final piece of evidence might be in order. So taking the biscuits Natalia had given her, she slipped them onto a plate and brought them out to the main room. The instant Junior saw what she held, he waddled over, his greedy little hands reaching up for the treats.
"Let's give your daddy one first, all right?" she suggested, setting the plate on the table in front of him. "I thought these might be a nice after dinner treat."
Din nodded, hardly even noticing what she'd brought, his eyes still glued to the mysterious toy in his hands. Still, he reached for the biscuit, taking a bite without even looking at it. However, it took only seconds for his taste buds to recognize what he was eating, and shooting to his feet once more, Din held the half eaten treat out before him in shock.
"Where…where did you get this?" he all but shouted, staring at the food in his hand as if it were going to bite him back.
"Also in town today," she answered, trying to break things to him slowly. "From the wife of the man who made the Wookie doll."
Din was silent as he swallowed the food in his mouth and then slowly took another bite. Closing his eyes, he took the time to savor the flavor, as well as the memories the biscuit invoked.
"These are just like the ones my mother used to make," he said at last, opening his eyes…ones that now appeared rather shiny. "They were my favorite."
"Din…" Ravana began slowly, reaching out to touch his arm so that he turned to look at her. "Remember when I said I had surprises for you tonight…as in multiple ones,"
"Multiple surprises?" he questioned with a furrowed brow. Suddenly his eyes grew wide and he gasped. "TWINS? Are you trying to tell me you're having twins?"
"NO!" she squeaked, holding up her hands and waving them back in forth in protest. "That is not what I'm trying to say at all." This news calmed him slightly, yet he still retained his look of confusion.
"Then what?" he asked, his eyes unconsciously drifting back to what remained of the biscuit in his hand.
"Well…I really don't know how else to tell you this, except to come right out and say it," Ravana hedged, feeling more nervous about revealing this secret than she had the news about their child. For even if Din had not been expecting a baby so soon, he more than likely had contemplated the situation many times. While this…well, she could almost bet he'd never anticipated hearing her say the next few words. "Din…I strongly believe that your parents are still alive."
True to her assumption, it appeared that Din had indeed not been expecting her announcement. He turned and looked at her…blinking several times before he cocked his head to one side.
"I'm sorry…what did you just say?" Din asked in a very quiet voice. He must have misunderstood her, the biscuit and Wookie doll having invoked the memories of his parents, thus making him hear something that couldn't possibly be true.
"I said…I think your parents are still alive," she repeated. "In fact…I'm rather certain of this, seeing as how I actually met them today at the market."
"No…you're wrong," he insisted, shaking his head as if to clear his mind of such fantasies. He then quickly recited the Mandalorian Remembrance for those who had been lost, words that even Ravana knew by heart, for she often said them with him, for his parents as well as her own. "Ni su'cuyi, gar kyr'adyc, ni partayli, gar darasuum, Bernard bal Natalia." {I'm still alive, but you are dead. I remember you, so you are eternal, Bernard and Natalia.}
"Din," Ravana insisted, her firm tone drawing his full attention. She then pointed to the doll. "I bought that from a craftsman named Bernard Djarin. And the reason it so resembles your toy as a child is because it was carved by the same man. Your father." Next, she gestured to the plate of sweet biscuits. "And these…they were given to me by his wife, Natalia. So you see, they are alive, Din. And they've been living here on Anoah for a while now."
Din didn't know what to say…or think. So, just to make sure he didn't lose his balance and fall over, he chose to sit down. His parents…alive? How could this be? Sure, he'd dreamed that it was true when he was younger, imagining that one day they'd come for him. What kid in his situation wouldn't have hoped for such an outcome? Yet, they never came, and in time he'd learned to live with the fact that they had indeed died in the attack. But now, to hear such words coming from Ravana's mouth stunned him into silence.
"Are…are you sure? You never met them, so how could you know?" he asked, not quite ready to believe the impossible.
"Well, first there was their names. Ones I've repeated with you every day since we were wed," she pointed out. "Then there's the fact that Bernard shares your build and eyes, and Natalia has your smile. But the clincher was when they told me that they once had a son who was lost…named Din. I'm not wrong. They are your family."
"You are my family," he stated firmly, looking away as if not wanting her to see the pain in his eyes. "They…they are dead. I remember looking back as the Paz's father carried me away, I saw their bodies lying on the ground."
"Are you certain they were dead…and not simply injured?" she challenged. "So much so that you won't even allow yourself to hope? If you can't believe it to be true…then trust me, Din. I would never say or do anything to hurt you, thus I'm not wrong about this."
"Could it be a trick of some sort?" he questioned. "Someone trying to get close to me…or to you? Maybe they're after the kid?"
"I suppose that's always a possibility," she had to concede. "Yet, if that were the case, when Natalia was holding the String-bean and took him into another room…she probably wouldn't have brought him back, would she?"
"You let someone take Junior from you?" Din balked, shocked by this news.
"It's not like she grabbed him and ran," Ravana huffed. "She just wanted to get him some milk and biscuits." Here she thought might be the right time to bring out another point about his parents. "I thought you should know; they didn't come out of the battle on your planet unscathed. They both sustained major injuries."
"What kind of injuries?" he asked in a quiet voice, one filled with more fear than there would normally be if they were simply strangers to him.
"Bernard lost his left leg, and now wears a metal one in it's place," she began, watching him flinch at her words. "And Natalia…she lost her sight. She's now blind."
"Blind?" he asked, his voice hardly above a whisper.
"Yes, she can't see a thing, though it really doesn't seem to hinder her much," she was quick to assure him. "She's very agile, and capable of a great deal. She still bakes, as you saw from the biscuits she sent home with me." Ravana was silent for a few moments, allowing him to digest this new bit of information, before reaching out and placing her hand on his leg. "I'm sorry Din."
"Why should you be sorry," he asked, stiffening up and clearing his throat. "This could all be an elaborate hoax, and they are spies or hunters."
At this, Ravana chose to try a different tactic, appealing to his hunter instincts.
"I suppose that could be true," she agreed. "However if they are here for nefarious reasons, then shouldn't we confront them about it? Discover their true motives?" Ravana could see she was getting through to him at last. "However, one way or another…you need to find out the truth. You need to go see them for yourself."
Once more Din sat there silent as a stone. She was right. If they were imposters, he needed to find out what their game was. And if they weren't…oh, he wasn't quite ready to even entertain the idea that his mother and father might actually be alive. Still…he had to know.
"I…I will go see for myself," he stated firmly, as if trying to convince himself as much as her. "Right now."
"Now?" This seemed to surprise Ravana, her probably believing the following day would be better suited for such a call. Yet Din was not willing to wait another moment to learn the truth. How would he be able to sleep not knowing?
"Yes…now!" he stated, standing up and reaching for the kid. "We go now, or we don't go at all."
"Then now it shall be," she said. "Let's go."
Well...Din knows now. Both about the baby and his parents. And while he was only too happy to believe Ravana about the baby, he's still a bit on the fence about his parents being alive. Poor guy.
So did Din react to your liking when he found out he was going to be a daddy again?
And did Ravana do a good job breaking the news of his parents to him slowly? With the Wookie doll and the biscuits? (which I'm imagining to be something like cinnamon rolls)
Did you like the nick-name they have for the new baby until it's born?
Now, it's off to find his mom and dad next!
Thanks so much for your continued support and encouraging reviews. Only ONE more chapter left now.
Guest Reviews:
Lilais: Yep, shocker right? Din had a lot of information to process in such a short amount of time. Baby and parents. I like your idea, except I have run out of ideas for our dear characters...for now, but who knows what will happen when Season 2 comes out. Thanks for your reviews! T.O.W.G.
Phantom Guest: 44 - Married with children...that's Din and Ravana now. ha ha. Seeing his face was a must, I mean I did keep you waiting for 44 chapters. Glad you enjoyed the wedding. 45 - He wanted to make sure this one was real. ha ha. Cara likes what she sees...Paz is a hottie I guess. Din is learning to be a poet, for sure. ha ha. 46 - Yep, a baby...AND parents. Din hit the jackpot this day. If his parents were meant to be dead, you would have seen their bodies, but Noooooope. None. Hence, they are alive. Glad you are exctied, and I hope this chapter made you happy too. T.O.W.G.