Chapter 17

The drive home wasn't nearly as fun as the drive there had been. They still played music and chatted but it seemed to take ten times longer and not as many people were willing to drive because of whatever injuries they'd sustained in the cave incident.

They took it in turns to lie across the back seats of the bus and sleep. Well, everyone except Merlin did. He was too anxious about ending up having a nightmare to sleep in front of his friends. He didn't want to face the embarrassment or attention of waking up to them all staring at him.

It took closer to twelve hours to get home. Morgana and Leon were going to stay the night with Arthur and Merlin because no matter how desperate they were to see their beloved children, none of them wanted to pick them up so late when the adults were so tired and the kids would be starting to settle for the night. Freya, Matthew and Hunith had all agreed to it.

Leon was driving the final part of the journey and he dropped off Elyan, Gwen and Lance, and Gwaine and Percival at their respective homes. They all said goodbye but they'd mostly be seeing each other the next day anyway when they went to Morgana's to collect their children.

So, early the next day, Arthur was driving over to his sister's house. Merlin was in the passenger seat, hoping to be able to see his sister and brother-in-law before they went to work. They would be watching over Albion for one final day while the actual managers of the company got themselves sorted after their holiday. Arthur was going to drive them and Hunith to the airport after work pretty much immediately so Merlin was eager to spend as much time with his family a possible.

They arrived at Morgana's, helped her and Leon with their bags and rung the doorbell. Freya answered almost immediately, holding Luke on her shoulder and looking surprisingly put together for someone who had spent three weeks looking after four young children and one cat whilst also working full-time every day. Obviously, Hunith was at home looking after the kids through the day when Freya and Matthew were at work, but even she looked happy and healthy.

"How do you do it?" Morgana had asked at one point, "You don't even look slightly tired!"

"We had a system," Hunith had laughed before catching sight of her son, "Merlin, sweetie. What's wrong?"

He grinned, "I'm fine, mum. Just tired."

"You all look so beaten up," Freya noted suspiciously, "What happened?"

"Not with the kids around," Leon suggested as he knelt down to greet his daughter, "But we had a bit of an adventure." He turned his attention to Belle, "Did you have a good time with Auntie Freya? Were you a good girl?"

"I missed you, daddy."

"Yeah, I missed you too, kiddo. Go say hi to Uncle Arthur."

"We need to head off soon," Matthew said.

Freya looked apologetically at Merlin, "There'll be time for a coffee later before we leave."

Not long after Freya and Matthew had left to go to work, Gwen and Lancelot arrived to pick up William and Griff, their cat. Only Gwen came into the house and she explained to her friends, "We've just come from the doctors. Lance's ankle is fine but he needs to stay off it for a while."

Arthur and Merlin stayed at Morgana's until Gwaine and Percival had come and collected Eira. Then, they took all Freya's, Matthew's and Hunith's bags into Arthur's car and piled in themselves. Hunith was going to spend the day with her son and son-in-law at their house.

They'd barely even pulled away from the house when Hunith demanded to know why everyone looked so hurt and tired.

"You explain," Arthur said to Merlin immediately, "I'm driving."

Merlin sighed and reluctantly told his mother all about how they'd found the cave and gone in to explore it when it had collapsed. Of course, they then had suffered through a lecture as long as the journey home from Hunith about how stupid they'd all been. The couple just let her rant. She didn't say anything they hadn't thought of after the accident anyway.

While Arthur was returning the van they had rented, Merlin made a cup of tea for his mother.

"Why are you using your crutches and not your leg?" she asked suspiciously.

Merlin rolled up his pant leg to show Hunith what remained of the blistering and rubbing from the long walk after the caving. She tutted disapprovingly and he looked over at her, "I hardly wanted it to happen."

"You have to be careful, Merlin. I still think you should have called for a rescue team the second you got out of that tunnel."

"Yeah, you've said," Merlin mumbled, "Mum, we're all fine. The worst anyone was hurt was Lance and he's just sprained his ankle. Arthur and I are taking the dogs to the vets tomorrow."

"You were lucky. An accident like that, you could have been killed!"

"But we weren't. No one even broke a bone. I can't believe you were all so stupid! You have families at home, Merlin. Anything could have happened!"

"You don't need to tell that to me! And please, whatever you do, don't say it to Arthur."

"I'll say what I please to Arthur."

"No, mum. Don't say that. We all regret doing what we did but it's done the most amazing things for Arthur mentally. He trusts everyone again, he believes in our friendship again. We all know it was a mistake. But something good did come out of it."

"After everything you've been through, Merlin, what on Earth possessed you to go into a collapsed cave system without a phone or a torch?"

"My friends were in there! I had no way of calling for help. So if they needed help, it was up to me to get it for them! Would you have left them there?"

"You get into enough trouble as it is," Hunith scolded, "Don't go out looking for more."

"You think I want to be put back in a hospital because I've been hurt?"

"Alright!" Hunith raised her hands in surrender, "We'll move on. But I care about you, Merlin. I don't like seeing you in pain."

"And I'm not," Merlin decided, "I'm fine."

"Keep it that way."

The rest of their day was very nice. They didn't go anywhere but it was lovely to see Hunith. And, when the time came, they picked up Freya and Matthew from Albion and drove to a café near the airport. Arthur payed for everyone as a thank you for them coming over to stay. Freya, being her ever bubbly self, said it was no problem, they loved working somewhere different for a change and the children were a delight to look after. Apparently the only difficult part had been the school run.

Merlin had also had to explain what had happened in the caves.

"We thought something had happened when you didn't call that day," Matthew admitted, "But then Morgana texted to say that you'd all been out and it was late so you couldn't call that day."

"Well that was true," Merlin pointed out awkwardly.

While they were walking back to the car, Freya said quietly to Merlin, "Something else is wrong. What's going on?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean all of you look beaten up but you look awful. So unless you're actively painting your face white and then drawing black circles underneath your eyes every day, something else is bothering you. What is it?"

"I'm just tired. It's nothing to worry about."

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Freya-"

"No, I'm asking you now so I don't ask in front of mum. Because she'll baby you to death. So unless you want me to ask again while we're saying goodbye at the airport-"

"Alright! I'm having nightmares," he admitted, "I can't sleep for more than two hours without waking up."

"Again? You had this last year, it-"

"I know, Freya," Merlin sighed, "And yes, before you ask, it's the same thing. The fire, the explosion," he hesitated, "Will."

Freya lowered her gaze sadly.

"They'll have stopped in a few days," Merlin said, "The anniversary was on Tuesday."

"Yeah, I know. Mum got upset because we weren't at the waterfall. We always go on that day every year. But, Merls, it'll just happen again next year. Don't you think we maybe have to do something about it?"

"What could I do? It happens for a fortnight once a year. That's hardly going to kill me."

"But it affects you and it's not nice."

Merlin shrugged, "There's nothing we can do."

"Sleeping meds?"

Merlin scoffed, "No thanks. Look, if it happens another year, I'll think about it."

"Tell me when they stop," Freya said.

Merlin nodded, "If it'll stop you worrying."

"I promise I won't tell mum."

Arthur and Merlin waved Merlin's family off from the car park. They didn't bother going into the airport. Once they were back in the car and Arthur was pulling out their parking space, Merlin told him what Freya had said.

"What do you think about it? Getting meds?"

"It makes me uncomfortable," Merlin admitted, "I don't like medication."

"Therapy?" Arthur suggested.

"No. I don't want to do anything, Arthur. Just leave it. I'm only considering it for your sake."

"My sake?"

"Half the time I end up disturbing you. It's not very fair."

"Merls, I don't mind. I get more rest than you and you can't help it."

"I can sleep in one of the spare rooms if you want."

"Merlin! I don't mind. And I don't want you by yourself." Arthur rested his hand on Merlin's thigh. "It'll be alright."

Merlin ended up sleeping for the rest of the journey home. That always happened when he was suffering through the nightmares. Sit still anywhere for too long with nothing to do and his nights of restless sleep would catch up with him. Arthur wasn't sure how much good it was actually doing Merlin but he was happy to see him seemingly peaceful when he was asleep for once.

They got home and ate tea together. Then, they took the dogs out for a walk, enjoying the last of the evening sun.

Late into the night, Merlin woke up drenched in sweat and shivering. He rubbed tears away from his eyes and rolled over to look at Arthur. He didn't seem to have been disturbed so Merlin carefully eased himself out of bed, pulled on a jumper and went downstairs. There, he made himself a cup of coffee, cursing the kettle for being so loud, and opened the back door. Killi and Aithusa both picked themselves up sleepily, sniffed around outside for a bit before dragging themselves back to their beds and curling up there.

Merlin sat down on the bench outside and sipped his coffee. One thing he loved about living in the countryside was how many stars he could see. It reminded him of his old camping trips with Will when they were little. Merlin missed his little brother. It felt like he'd fallen asleep with one life and woken up to a new one which didn't include Will. It hurt.

"I miss you, Will," Merlin whispered, "Every day. I like to think what kind of life you would have had if you'd survived. You would have done amazingly at that uni course, you know. I would have loved to see you graduate. I hope you're alright, Will. That you're with dad, if that's what happens when you die. And if not that, then, as long as you're at peace. I suppose that's ok. Oh, Will. I'm so sorry."

Merlin sat outside for over an hour, his empty coffee mug on the bench next to him. It was calm outside with the soft night breeze tickling his bare skin and his coffee still warming him from the inside. Killi had come back outside and jumped up beside him. The dog draped himself over Merlin's lap and happily allowed him to tickle his ears.

"If only you knew what it's like, Killi," Merlin whispered, "It must be so much simpler to be a dog. Only needing to worry about yourself or your little family. No work to go to or bills to pay off or anything. Although, I suppose you reckon it's your job to protect us, don't you? So you do have a lot to worry about."

Killi only stared at him with big black eyes. Merlin laughed at himself and returned to staring at the stars.

"Merlin?"

Merlin turned to see Arthur standing in the door to the garden, watching him closely.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Woke up to a cold and empty bed. It's not nice."

Merlin stood up and led Killi back inside. Arthur locked the back door and wrapped his arms around Merlin, "You're frozen."

"I don't feel it."

"Well you are, and I don't want you getting sick so come back upstairs where it's warm."

"Fuss-pot," Merlin said affectionately.

"What were you doing outside?" Arthur asked as they made their way upstairs.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"Will."

Arthur smiled sympathetically and took Merlin's crutches off him while he got back into bed. "Did it help?"

Merlin nodded, "I think so."

"Let's see if we can sleep through the rest of the night, then, shall we? It'll be a first."

"I didn't mean to wake you," Merlin said apologetically as they shuffled close to each other.

"I gathered that. Guess I just knew anyway."

"Bit late," Merlin giggled, "I've been outside hours."

Arthur kissed Merlin, "We have to be at work tomorrow."

"Yeah."

"We can stay off if you want. One extra day won't do anything."

"No. We have the afternoon off anyway to take the dogs to the vets. We'll only be there a few hours."

"If you're sure. You can stay here while I take them?"

"Maybe. Depends how I feel."

"We'll see," Arthur kissed Merlin again, "Go to sleep."

Merlin woke up the next morning feeling surprisingly well rested. He could hear Arthur downstairs making breakfast so got himself up and through the shower. Their morning routine had been perfected over the years they'd worked at Albion. Whoever woke up first would get up, start making breakfast and let the dogs outside. This would almost always stir the other, who would then get up themselves, wash and get dressed. They'd eat breakfast together, then whoever had cooked would go upstairs to shower and dress while the other did the dishes and fed the dogs. Then, they'd walk to work together and let the dogs run free across the hotel grounds.

Only today, Merlin was faced with an issue. Normally he'd wear his prosthetic leg to walk to work and to do anything that needed doing around the hotel. But his stump was still raw and painful. He didn't fancy wearing it just yet. So he found a suitable pair of trousers and got his crutches.

"Can we drive in toda- what's wrong?"

Arthur desperately wiped at his face and cleared his throat, "I've just got a letter."

"What about?"

Arthur handed it over and said, "They're selling my dad's hotels. All of them. Unless I take them. Whoever took over managing afterwards said they don't want it."

Merlin read the letter and bit his lip, "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." Arthur brought over their food and they both sat down, "We're not ready to take them on for Albion. Finding the staff, training the staff and getting everything sorted- I think that's too much. But they mean something, they're his life's work! I don't want to see them bought by someone else and- and ruined."

"Alright. It's ok. I have an idea, though."

"Yeah?"

"I know you said you don't want to make them up into hotels. But why does Albion have to be an exclusively hotel business? It would still be a lot of work but we could have restaurants, or like, leisure centre things, libraries, all sorts. All with the same values."

Arthur thought about it for a second, "We couldn't buy all of them straight away."

"No. But do you remember what you said when you first thought of the idea for the hotels? That everywhere someone goes if they have a disability they're judged. We've given them somewhere safe to stay with the hotels. But what about everything else?"

"We have a meeting this morning with everyone," Arthur said, "We'll suggest it."

"You like the idea?"

"Yeah," Arthur said thoughtfully, "Yeah, I do."

"We'll talk about it at work, then," Merlin smiled.

"Do you feel excluded or unwelcome when you go out?" Arthur asked him.

"We don't go out that much," Merlin said, "But I used to. When I was in a wheelchair. And if we go out for a walk and I use crutches. People stare or treat me differently. But never at work. At work I'm just like everyone else."

Arthur studied him with soft, loving eyes. "What were you going to say when you came down?"

"I was going to ask if we can drive. I don't want to put my leg on."

Arthur nodded, "The dogs can run around outside when we get there."

"Thanks."

"Tell you what, though," Arthur thought suddenly, "We need to sit outside for an hour before bed every night. It worked miracles."

"I didn't wake up once," Merlin smiled.

"We'll try it tonight," Arthur declared.