Chapter 21

"I won't," Merlin said adamantly, "I won't and you can't make me. You can't take me out the home I'm perfectly safe and happy in and move me somewhere else."

"Look, if your husband has asked you to say these things or threatened you, you don't have to pretend. Just tell us."

Merlin barked out a laugh, "Do you actually know anything about Arthur at all? Who he is, what his job is?"

"I fail to see the relevance of his occupation."

"He's donated more money to charity than most people make in three years. His business exists to help people." Merlin had been arguing with this Lamia woman for a very long time now, "Do you really think I'd be sitting here fighting to stay with him after living with him for over five years if he's the one who keeps hurting me? Are you insane?"

"Mr Pendragon, whether or not Arthur is hurting you directly, the fact remains that he isn't protecting you."

"Of course he is. I'd be dead without him! But I suppose you think that's good because it would save you money!" Merlin coughed a few times, "Look, I'm tired. And frankly I'm sick of this conversation so I'll say this one more time and you'd better listen. I will not live with anyone except my husband, Arthur Pendragon. Try and make me do otherwise and I promise I'll still end up with him. He is the only person in the world who I feel safe with. Save yourself the effort and drop it."

"Mr Pe-"

"No. I'm done. Please leave me alone, I'm here to get better and I don't feel very well."

Lamia left, heels clicking angrily. Merlin sighed and lay back against his pillows to wait for Arthur who was on the phone getting legal advice from their lawyer on how to proceed. His entire body ached but the first thing he'd told upon waking up was that he'd have to fight with the doctors to keep the life he used to have. So he'd fought. But now his head was spinning, he felt slightly sick and his entire body was still aching. And everything tasted like dirty salt.

"Will you tell me what's wrong with me now?" Merlin asked Arthur when he returned.

"Broken ribs, concussion, broken fingers and a bruised hip."

"A bruised hip. How bad can that be?"

Arthur raised an eyebrow, "Take a look. It's not pretty."

Carefully, so as to keep his dignity intact, Merlin lifted up his hospital gown on one side and peered at his hip. "Oh my-" It was swollen to about three times the size it normally was, purple and green all over and spread further than any bruise should. Merlin's stomach turned.

"It'll get worse before it gets better," Arthur offered, "The bruising's only just started."

"Only started," Merlin repeated quietly, "Ow!"

"Don't worry. The bone isn't damaged, it'll heal. Unfortunately for you though, that in combination with your ribs means-"

"Wheelchair."

"Yeah. But the good news is that even before that, you're on at least three weeks of bedrest!"

"No."

"Unfortunately so," Arthur grinned.

"Why are you so happy about it?"

"Because I get three weeks off work to look after you."

"You'll be working at home."

"Yeah. But in bed with you. Not in an office with Gwaine."

Merlin laughed, "What did the lawyers say?"

"That we'd probably win a case if we had to but we should definitely do everything we possibly can to avoid having to."

"Well if the conversation I just had with Lamia is anything to go by, I think we're going to have to."

"Oh, she's lovely, isn't she?"

"A delight."

"I'm sorry, Merlin."

"Don't be. I'm the one who chose to dive dramatically into the sea to save our drowning niece."

"There were lifeguards further down the beach, you know."

"Yeah. But you would have had to be close enough to see what was happening and call them and then they'd have to get there. She could have been really badly hurt by then."

"She's got a cold," Arthur said, "And some bruises her friends will be jealous of. But that's it."

"And Will?"

"Broken ankle. Needs a small operation but he'll be home within a week or so."

"How's Gwen?"

"Beside herself."

Merlin looked away guiltily, "No one's angry with you. Even the kids think you're a hero. You did everything right, you saved all three of them. There was nothing you could have done better."

"It doesn't feel like that when my best friend's child is having surgery because I wasn't watching him properly."

"Accidents happen."

"That accident could have been prevented. All of this could have been prevented."

"Maybe. But the kids wouldn't think you're a superhero if it had," Arthur stroked some of Merlin's hair away from his eyes, "At least you're not freezing."

"Have you spoken to mum?"

Arthur nodded, "I told her what happened. She's proud of you."

Merlin nodded.

"Get some more sleep," Arthur said gently, "There'll be more arguing to do when you wake up."

"I won't let them separate us," Merlin said, "I'll do anything to keep us together."

"So will I. Now go to sleep. I'm going to call Morgana."

They lost count of the amount of arguments they had with various members of staff over the next couple of days. Arthur had most of them over the phone or in person or even both. In the end they came to some sort of agreement that was alright with the health service regulations and not completely horrible for Arthur and Merlin. They would have a home inspection to make sure everything was safe. Then, the bit which was worst for them, a carer had been arranged to come every morning and evening to make sure their routines were alright and help where needed until Merlin was allowed to be more mobile. That particular clause had caused a few issues. The final deal was that further action would be taken if Merlin was admitted to hospital even once more in the next six months.

Everyone had agreed to it reluctantly. Arthur's lawyers had said they probably wouldn't get a better deal without things getting really complicated. They couldn't help but feel that the carer was a little unnecessary when Merlin wasn't allowed to get out of bed for three weeks but if it meant they could stay together then they would put up with it.

The day Arthur was away dealing with the people looking around the house happened to be the day Will was having his surgery. So while they were waiting and Arthur wasn't there, Gwen and Lance came to see Merlin. For the first ten minutes they did nothing but thank him and claim they'd always be indebted to him for saving Will. Merlin just let them, not really feeling like he deserved it.

They demanded to know if there was anything they could do to thank him.

"I don't need thanking," Merlin said, "It's my fault he slipped in the first place."

"Of course it's not. Will's always running off," Lancelot said.

"All the more reason for me to keep a closer eye on him. I'm really sorry."

"No," Gwen took Merlin's hand, "It was not your fault."

"You left your son- my godson- in my care for me to look after. I let him down."

"He thinks you're a hero!"

"He doesn't understand what happened."

"He ran off," Lancelot said, "He didn't look where he was going and he fell. You risked your life to save him and you didn't let anyone down."

Merlin hadn't realised he was crying until Gwen handed him a tissue. "It's the drugs. And- and-"

"It's ok, we understand."

"Has Arthur told you?" Merlin asked, "Why he's not here?"

"He just said he has things to do at home."

Merlin sighed and explained what was going on.

"Oh, Merlin, I'm so sorry. That's awful."

"No, I- it's fine. It's just making me stressed."

"It'll be fine, mate. You can stand up for yourself well enough. And I think even you can go with months without any trouble."

"Well, let's hope so."

Merlin could barely move anymore. His hip was sore and tender and swollen, his head was still spinning, his ribs were fine until he tried to move and then they'd protest as loudly and painfully as they could. His fingers weren't much both in terms of pain bur because he'd broken one on each hand and they'd been strapped together for support, he didn't have many left free to do anything useful. He could hold anything with one hand and it was starting to drive him mental.

Together, it all meant he could do nothing but stay in the position he was in. If he tried to push himself up with his hands and get past the pain in his fingers when that happened, his hip would set itself on fire. If he took to deep of a breath or tried to it up, his ribs cried out. How Arthur had managed to go around like normal a few weeks after breaking his ribs was a mystery to Merlin. Needless to say, he wasn't particularly excited for the time when he'd be forced out the bed and into a wheelchair then from that wheelchair into a car and so on.

He chatted happily to Gwen and Lance until they had to go and see Will. Merlin made them promise to text Arthur and tell him how his operation had gone. He settled down to sleep for a while until Arthur arrived, no way of knowing when that would be.

When Merlin woke up, it was starting to get dark outside. Baring in mind he'd fallen asleep at around three o clock, Merlin guessed that mean he'd slept for at least four more hours. Arthur still wasn't there. Not even a chair was positioned beside his bed to suggest he'd been there but gone to the toilet. That made Merlin nervous. What if something was going wrong with the house inspection? If they decided Merlin couldn't live there, it would ruin everything. He'd end up stuck in some ridiculous care-home-like place with nurses fussing over him all day and leaving him with no independence.

He suddenly didn't seem too eager to eat the dinner he'd been left, something Arthur picked up on immediately when he did arrive another half hour later.

"I wasn't hungry."

"Are you alright?"

"Eating hurts," Merlin complained, "My ribs."

"It'll pass. Do you want me to go and get you some juice?"

"No, I'm fine. How did it all go at home?"

"Mostly ok. The dogs caused issues, though. You're not meant to be allowed near them unless you're outside or at least in a room with all the doors and windows open. We need one of those baby gate thingies installed to keep them downstairs because they're not going to be allowed up."

"Are you kidding?"

"Nope. You also have new diet plan. Don't ask why, I genuinely have no idea."

"Well clearly you're either trying to poison me or starve me in your famous plots to kill me," Merlin said sarcastically.

"It's a wonder we're allowed in the same bed still. Speaking of, actually, I am not allowed to take you to or from the bed, that is for the carer exclusively to do."

"What? No, you have to be joking now."

"Unfortunately not."

"What if I need the bathroom through the night?"

"That's the bit you'll love," Arthur smirked, "You'll be getting a bed pan."

"Which I will absolutely not be using and you will be taking me to and from the toilet, thank you."

"Not that they'll know that but yes," Arthur said quietly.

"Any more rules?"

"More for me than for you. Can't put you in the wheelchair or the stairlift or the bed. Can't take you out the wheelchair or the stairlift or the bed. No driving when you're in the car. I'm not allowed to give you your medicine."

"Wow, what a fun and exciting life we're going to have."

"We're not going to listen to any of the rules, though, are we?"

"No. I trust you more than any other carer they could possibly provide."

"Well, we'll be on our best behaviour when there's someone there to keep an eye on us," Arthur said, "But the rest of the time we carry on like normal."

"I wouldn't want it any other way."

"What's wrong? You look pale."

"They rubbed some stupid cream thing into my hip earlier. Hurt like hell."

"Yeah, I bet it did."

"I can't even wiggle my toes, you know. It hurts my hip too much."

"The bruising and the swelling will go down. It'll get better."

"Will that be before or after my ribs stop stabbing me from the inside out?"

"Guess we'll have to wait and find out. Want to bet on it?"

Merlin laughed a little, "How long will we have to put up with all this? The carer and the rules and stuff. Not the full six months, right?"

"God, no. Not if everything goes ok. They said they'll take it a month at a time. Speak to the carer and get you regular check-ups to see how we're getting on. Then once we're deemed alright to do so, they'll leave us alone. Only the doctors check-ups will continue. And obviously we've got to make it through the six months."

"Easy. When you think about it, how many times have I actually been admitted since living with you? Once when I fell down the stairs, then the car crash, the drug overdose and the pneumonia. And this, obviously. And it's been what, five years? That's like once a year."

"But that's not including the fire at Camelot."

"I didn't live with you then. Don't stress about this, Arthur. It'll be fine."

"Statistically speaking."

"Yeah. And Lance swears by statistics so it must be right," Merlin took Arthur's hand as best he could given the bandages around his fingers, "I told Gwen and Lance. Gave them something else to think about that wasn't how dangerous it was for their baby to be under anaesthetic."

"Stop it."

"What?"

"You're still beating yourself up! Imagine it wasn't you who'd been there but Lance or Gwen. And the exact same thing had happened. What would you be saying to them now? That they're a failure? That they let their son down?"

"No."

"So why are you saying it to yourself?"

"They trusted me to keep him safe."

"And you did. You saved his life."

"It was my fault he was in that position in the first place!"

"Was it? You pushed him so he tripped, did you? You told him to run ahead on slippery rocks? This isn't a situation where you've been forgiven. No one was ever angry with you to begin with."

Merlin nodded a little bit. Arthur raised Merlin's hands to his lips and kissed his knuckles, "I love you, Merlin. You saved three children's lives, don't forget that."

"When can I go home?" Merlin asked, completely ignoring Arthur's encouragement.

"Either tomorrow or the day after. Depending."

"On what?"

"Beats me."

"You said two days, Arthur. It's already been four."

"I know. But we weren't expecting all this faff with not being allowed home. And I don't think you could have left sooner anyway."

"Why did they say two days, then?"

"Merls, given the injuries you had, you were coping amazingly. Nothing looked as bad as it was because you just kept going. You were so strong. But your hip is really badly hurt. And if your ribs had agitated your lungs, it could have been a lot more serious."

"I always told you I was stronger than you gave me credit for."

"You've proven me wrong many times. But trust me- my fussing will be nothing compared to what's going to come with this carer."

"They're going to treat me like a wining child or a dying old man."

"Probably. But you never know. Maybe they'll be alright."

Merlin groaned, "This is going to be awful."

And awful it most certainly was. Arthur tried his best to keep cool when the carer was there but he found it increasingly difficult. A woman whose name he still hadn't cared enough about to find out let herself into their house every morning did essentially nothing and then left again. And then, in the evening she let herself into their house did essentially nothing and then left again.

It was obvious that Merlin wasn't recovering as quickly as he usually would. His routines had been completely ruined and he didn't trust the carer either. When she wasn't there, they tried to continue like normal but with the stress of someone they didn't know doing all sorts of things for them, it made it difficult. Arthur constantly felt like he wanted to break everything in the house and Merlin was constantly uncomfortable with the idea of someone he didn't know in his bedroom. He'd had tears in his eyes for days, wanting nothing more than to sit and cuddle Arthur but unable to do so properly because of his injuries. He couldn't even see the dogs.

"They know you're here," Arthur said one day, "They'll stand at the bottom of the stairs and bark up."

"Bring them up," Merlin requested, "They won't be as excited now after their walk."

"For half an hour," Arthur kissed him, "Do you need anything else?"

"My life back?"

Arthur smiled, "I wish."

Their days were strange. They spent most of them sitting in bed together. Arthur would work on his laptop, they'd do meetings online from time to time with everyone else, Merlin would read. Of course, Arthur would get up to cook or clean or walk the dogs. Every so often he had to go to the building site at Camelot with the others to make sure everything was going well.

Seeing as Merlin wasn't allowed up for three weeks, all their carer did was give him his medicine, do any basic medical check-ups that needed doing, help him wash and ask if he needed to use the bathroom. He always said no and that they were managing fine with the bed pan. In actuality, the bed pan hadn't been used once. Arthur always helped him to and from the bathroom.

Another thing Arthur was struggling with aside from the anger was jealousy. He was perfectly experienced in helping Merlin recover and knew exactly what needed doing or saying. But now, all he was 'allowed' to do was sit in the corner and watch.

"Here," Arthur placed Aithusa on the bed beside Merlin, "Don't let her on your lap. I'll wait till she calms down and then get Killi. I don't think two excited dogs running around is a good idea."

Cuddling Aithusa again felt amazing. Her soft fur between his fingers had never felt so soothing. Arthur had to hold her for a little bit because she was desperate to crawl onto Merlin's lap, via his hip, and then place her paws on his chest. But once she was curled up on the bed, between a pillow and Merlin's side where he could pet her calmingly, Arthur stood up and went downstairs to get Killi.

"Half an hour," Arthur said sternly as he closed the bedroom door, "Then we'll have to check all the covers for fur so we don't get found out."

Killi leapt up onto the bed surprisingly calmly and licked Merlin's face a few times. Merlin moved his hands away from Aithusa for a few seconds to greet Killi, ruffling the fur around his face. The four of them settled down together, ending up napping for most of the half hour which Arthur was timing. Arthur woke up seven minutes before his alarm was due to go off and looked down at Merlin. He couldn't resist smiling.

Killi was lying in the space where Merlin's leg would have been if he'd had one. His head and paw were resting on Merlin's thigh. Aithusa was still snuggled where she had been from the start; in between Merlin and the pillow. And Merlin himself had his head resting on Arthur's shoulder, body leaning back heavily against Arthur's arm which was wrapped around him. One hand was resting on Aithusa's back, the other holding Arthur's. For the first time in days, he looked peaceful.

Arthur didn't want to disturb him but Morgana was coming for lunch and he needed to take the dogs downstairs. They always woke up over-excited and hyper after sleeping. So he gently shook Merlin awake and said quietly, "I have to take them away."

Merlin pouted and slowly lifted Aithusa up to give her a kiss. She opened her eyes lazily but didn't really wake up. While Arthur was taking her downstairs, Merlin petted Killi.

"Get some more rest," Arthur said, "Morgana will be here soon and I'm going to cook lunch."

"What is it?"

"What do you think it is?"

"Well it's either soup, stew or salad. Because I'm apparently not allowed to eat anything unless it belongs with an s."

"How about this then? It's a surprise."

"It's soup, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it's soup."

"Please can I have some toast with it? Just one slice?"

Arthur softened, "Yeah."

"With as much butter as you can possibly lather onto it?"

Arthur winked at him, "Of course. And Morgana may or may not be bringing cake with her when she comes."

Merlin's eyes lit up. The ridiculous diet plan he'd been on had him eating nothing but blended vegetables and fruit. And they were wondering why he was losing weight and had no appetite.

"Are the kids coming?" Merlin asked apprehensively.

"I expect so. There's no reason why they wouldn't be."

Merlin immediately looked nervous. Arthur sighed and shooed Killi out the room before closing the door and sitting on the edge of the bed.

"Don't bother saying it," Merlin said, "It didn't make me feel any better the first hundred times and it won't now."

Arthur ran his thumb down Merlin's cheek and stroked his hair lovingly, "You're a hero, Merlin. You always will be to me."

"Is this where you give me the 'you've been through more than anyone and you don't deserve it' speech?"

"If it's needed. None of it's a lie, Merlin. I know words don't always help with how you're feeling inside. I've had my fair share of people yapping on at me about emotions too. But those kids still trust you with their lives, no matter whether you think you deserve it or not. That's what's important."

"Ok."

"I'll go and make lunch."