Chapter 29

"I forgot how good you look in jeans," Arthur said as he helped Merlin with the buttons on his shirt; he was still struggling with things that required fine motor skills such as buttons and cutlery and writing. "You've worn nothing but shorts and joggers for ages."

"Because jeans are uncomfortable," Merlin said, fiddling with his belt.

"It's just one day. And we'll be having so much fun that you'll forget about it."

"I'm tired already," Merlin complained.

"You can sleep in the car."

"I don't know if I'm ready for this yet." They were getting ready to go to Morgana's and meet everyone there for their fake Christmas. Because Merlin had been unconscious over Christmas and no one had enjoyed it as much as they probably should have, they'd organised this day so that everyone could be together and have a nice time.

"Everyone understands, Merls. We just want you to have a nice day."

"The kids are going to be so excited. Two Christmases in the space of three months."

"It's like Christmas came early," Arthur joked, "Or late, rather."

Merlin rolled his eyes.

"We don't have to go if you don't want to," Arthur said sincerely.

"I do want to go," Merlin said, "I just know what everyone's like and I don't want them spending all day worrying, fussing or asking if I want anything. I want them to be able to trust me just to tell them."

"They're just worried."

"I get that. I know they have reason to be worried, I understand. But I want everyone to have a good day and if they're constantly stopping to make sure I'm ok, no one will enjoy it as much. And I know it's polite to ask so once or twice is fine but I'll tell you if I want some time out or need something."

Arthur nodded in understanding, "Ok. Ready to go?"

Merlin nodded. They fetched the dogs from outside, locked up and got into the car. Killi had a little tartan bowtie around his neck instead of his collar and Aithusa had a matching bow by her ear.

Everyone was excited to see each other again. They used to meet up regularly at the beach on a Saturday morning for a walk and they'd all see each other but when Merlin had been diagnosed with his tumour and admitted to hospital, it had felt wrong to come together as a group because it felt incomplete. This would be the first time in over seven months that all thirteen- or fifteen if you counted the dogs- of them would be all together in the same place.

They had the most brilliant day. There were presents and crackers and music and a huge roast which Leon had been only too happy to prepare. They'd even gone as far as to put a Christmas film on when the kids had insisted.

While it was on, Merlin was standing in the kitchen, talking to Morgana and Gwaine and sipping some wine. Not even half an hour into the film, Belle had appeared at her mother's side and clung onto her skirt.

"Do you not want to watch the film, honey?" Morgana asked.

"I want to talk to you," Belle said, "Will says I'm not meant to talk through films but Uncle Arthur and Uncle Lancelot are. Will doesn't tell them off."

"I'll go and sort them out, shall I?" Gwaine offered with a chuckle before leaving the kitchen.

Morgana smiled at Belle, "Do you want to tell Uncle Merlin what you did at school the other day?"

"We had to talk about who our heroes were and why."

"And who did you choose?" Morgana prompted.

"I chose Uncle Merlin."

Merlin's jaw dropped.

"Why did you choose Uncle Merlin?" Morgana asked.

"Because I said I had too many heroes and I couldn't talk about all of them so my teacher said that all my friends were talking about their parents so I should choose someone else and I chose you because you saved me at the beach."

Morgana looked at Merlin proudly while Belle continued.

"And I said it was really cool because you saved me and Will but you only have one leg and then someone asked if you were like a pirate with one leg."

"Tell Uncle Merlin what you said," Morgana encouraged.

"I said you were more like a superhero because they're always really brave and strong but there's always something sad about them that they hide. That's just like you because everyone loves you and you love everyone but bad things keep happening to you because you help other people. That's like what superheroes do in films. They help everyone."

"And what did you say Olivia asked?" Morgana reminded Belle.

"She asked that if you only have one leg, how do you walk? I told her that you had a really cool robot leg so you can still help everyone. So all my class thought my hero was better than theirs."

"I think your hero is better than anyone else's in the whole world."

Merlin turned to see Arthur standing in the doorway, watching the conversation with a glint in his eye. Merlin was speechless. He never thought anyone saw him in such good light. He hugged Belle as best he could and thanked her. She looked a little confused as to why everyone was getting emotional but hugged Merlin's leg tightly. Arthur walked over and put an arm around Merlin's waist.

"Do you want to sit down?" he whispered.

Merlin nodded dumbly and allowed Arthur to lead him outside onto Morgana's patio. Merlin sank onto the bench and set his crutches down.

"Well," Arthur said as he sat down and took Merlin's hand, "I bet that helped with your self-confidence. A superhero, eh?"

"Apparently so."

"Are you ok? Most people would be jumping for joy and grinning if they'd been told a class of six year olds thought they were some sort of god."

"I just never thought anyone could see me like that. In my eyes, I was pathetic and ill and I could barely get out of bed without getting out of breath."

"All about perspective," Arthur said, "And personally I agree with Belle's."

"Can you agree with a perspective?"

Arthur shrugged, "I have the same perspective as her, so-"

"Must be a good one," Merlin chuckled.

"Exactly. Are you having a good day?"

"I never want to eat anything ever again. Leon cooked for an army."

"It was good though."

"Really good."

"Eira wants to play Pictionary when the film's finished, just a heads up."

Merlin's face fell, "But I can't hold a pencil. I doubt I could write my name at the moment, let alone draw football or a cat or something. Even Luke could draw better than me and he's barely even two!"

"Hey," Arthur soothed, "Superhero, remember? Maybe you can carve the drawings into the paper with your laser eyes."

Merlin smiled half-heartedly, "Maybe."

"Don't worry," Arthur said, "It's meant to be fun, none of us are artists anyway. No one's going to judge you for your drawings. Besides, it's Pictionary, so long as we can tell what it is, it's fine."

Merlin nodded.

"How are you doing?" Arthur asked.

Merlin nodded, "A bit tired and my chest hurts a little bit."

Arthur looked at his watch, "It is getting late and we've been up a long time."

"And I haven't had a nap."

"And we've done a lot more today than we normally would," Arthur kissed Merlin's cheek, "I'm proud of you."

"I can't believe everyone took a day off for fake Christmas," Merlin laughed.

"It was worth it," Arthur said, "And it gave us something to do for a day instead of sitting at home."

"You've been doing work," Merlin pointed out as he picked Aithusa up from his feet where she'd just padded over and sat, "It's just me that's spent all day sleeping."

"Arthur," Lancelot poked his head out the door, "If you're wanting to play some boardgames, we're starting now."

They made their way inside and sat around the table which Percival and Elyan had cleared earlier.

"Before we start," Morgana said, "Arthur, Gwen and I have been planning something for everyone as like a group Christmas present. We have booked a week in the house we stayed in in Scotland last year for a holiday."

"For all thirteen of us," Gwen clarified.

"We thought that because we all enjoyed it so much last time, we should go again. But obviously avoid any caves," Arthur explained.

"And definitely go in our own cars instead of a mini-bus because that would end disastrously," Morgana added.

"Is it far?" Eira asked as everyone got up to hug the three who had organised everything.

"It is quite a long way," Gwaine told her.

"Longer than a day at school?"

"A little bit. But we'll take lots of breaks, don't worry."

"Oh, on that point," Morgana said, "We thought in a lot of cases, there'll be one person driving all the time so we've also booked hotel rooms to stay in for one night on the way there and the way back."

"How exciting is that?" Lancelot picked Will up, "A holiday with everyone!"

"When is this booked?"

"Half term," Morgana said, "So the kids are already off school."

"Great. Shall we get this game going?" Arthur was aware of it getting late.

Later that night, Arthur was folding and putting away their clothes while Merlin sipped on some water.

"Are you excited to go away?" Arthur asked.

Merlin placed his cup down and yawned, "It's only a few weeks away. I won't be able to do as much walking."

"And neither will the kids. We won't be climbing mountains every day, Merls. It's just for some time away and a break."

"I suppose."

"What's happened to my old positive and upbeat Merlin?"

"He's on holiday until this Merlin feels better."

"Well can he take an early flight home?" Arthur asked as he got into bed, "Because the Merlin I used to know would be determined to make as much progress as he could before we left."

"I'm sorry I'm being difficult," Merlin said tiredly.

"Don't worry," Arthur buried his hand in Merlin's hair, "Just remember what we said about this being the end of things. I really believe we're going to have peace now. We can go back to work and go on holidays and day trips and have fun." He glanced down at Merlin and smiled. He'd fallen asleep already, in the middle of their conversation.

Arthur wasn't surprised. He'd had an exhausting day without finding a chance for some quiet time. Carefully, Arthur arranged the pillows around Merlin to make sure he was in a comfortable position, hushing him gently when he stirred and started muttering quietly.

They were glad that they didn't have work to go to the next day. A considerable amount of their friends would be getting up early to go to the offices. Arthur would, admittedly, be doing a few bit and pieces on his laptop from home which Merlin would be insisting he should help with but Arthur would obviously decline.

Merlin actually woke up before Arthur in the morning and really wished he could get up and go to make breakfast as Arthur would always do. He'd barely been out of hospital for a week but he was already itching for something to do. He was still relying heavily on Arthur which was alright for now and Merlin loved the attention but he was beginning to feel a little bit useless.

Aithusa appeared in the doorway and trotted inside. She leapt up onto the bed by Merlin's feet and crawled up towards him before settling in the space between Arthur and Merlin. Merlin placed one hand on her back and stroked her gently. "I suppose you want letting outside, do you?" he whispered, "I'm sorry I can't. But then," he looked at his crutches which had been left propped up against the bedside table, "Maybe I can."

He slowly pulled the covers back and swung his leg over the side. He took hold of the crutches, stood up with relative ease and stood up. As it turned out, the hardest part of the entire thing was getting the key in the back door. Merlin's hands were shaking and to use the lock, he had to sacrifice the use of one crutch so was balanced awkwardly. He wished Arthur had left the key in the lock so all he would have had to do is turn it. Killi and Aithusa were both watching him intently, clearly begging to be let outside.

Merlin was gradually getting more and more frustrated. He couldn't keep his hand or the key steady and his leg was starting to shake a little too. He growled a little and tried to re-adjust his hold on the key but ultimately it slipped between his fingers and fell to the ground.

"Struggling?"

Merlin looked over his shoulder to see Arthur standing in the doorway. "How long have you been there?"

"I followed you down," Arthur admitted, "You did well."

"Until I dropped the key," Merlin grinned.

"Yeah, that was a bit of a set-back. Do you want a hand?"

Merlin nodded and moved out of the way while Arthur came over, bent down and picked the key up, fully expecting him to then open the door. But Arthur held out the key to Merlin.

"I think," he said, "That you might get a bit further if you turned it the right way up."

Merlin flushed in embarrassment, "It was upside down?"

Arthur nodded, "Try again."

Merlin repositioned himself in front of the door and once again put all his effort into sliding the key into the lock. After a few minutes, Arthur put his hand over Merlin's and gently pushed it down so the key slotted in. Merlin smiled and then, with fingers still quivering a little, turned the key around. While he was doing that, Arthur reached up and undid the latch at the top so he could push the door open.

Killi and Aithusa ran outside at the smallest gap but Merlin looked up at Arthur proudly. "I did it."

"Of course you did."

"Sit down?" Merlin asked breathlessly.

Arthur nodded and pulled out a chair from the table for Merlin to fall into.

"Why did you follow me?" Merlin asked curiously.

"I heard what you said to Aithusa," Arthur explained.

"Knew I couldn't do it?" Merlin smiled.

Arthur shook his head, "Didn't want to miss you do it," he corrected, "And also, I thought that if you managed to open the door, you'd be able to make me breakfast for once so I needed to give you my order."

"Alright," Merlin said determinedly.

Arthur looked up in surprise, "What?"

"I'll make breakfast," Merlin said confidently.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. In a minute. And you might have to cut up the fruit because dropping a knife is probably going to be a bit more dangerous than dropping a key."

Arthur nodded, "Do you want some water?"

Once Merlin had gathered up the energy and had a quick drink, he stood up again and moved around the kitchen to open the fridge, "We've got some bacon or there's eggs."

"Can you manage eggs?"

Merlin nodded and reached for the box of eggs. It took a little while for him to get a good enough grip on it, but soon it was out and open on the counter. There was still a clean pan on the hob from the previous night which Arthur had put a bit of butter into for him. Arthur was now chopping up bits of melon and tapping his foot to the radio. Merlin studied the egg in his hand and the pan.

"Arthur."

"Yeah?"

"Can you help me?"

Arthur hummed and turned around, "You want me to do it?"

Merlin nodded, "But I'll do the milk and stir it and everything."

"Ok. Hold the pan for me?"

Merlin wrapped his fingers around the handle and watched Arthur's movements closely as he cracked the eggs into the pan, determined to memorise the motions. Then, Arthur returned to the fruit and Merlin poured a dribble of milk into the egg mixture. It took him quite a while to un-twist the cap and turn the heat on but once he had, mixing everything was surprisingly easy.

He managed to put the bread in the toaster and press the button down but struggled a bit with buttering it a few minutes after. It ended up with butter smeared all over the counter and Merlin's fingers.

"There's less on the bread than the surface," Arthur teased innocently.

Merlin laughed, "But there's enough on the bread."

Arthur kissed him on the temple, "Come on then. Last step."

"I don't think I can do it with my crutches."

"I'll bring the plates over and you can put the egg on them," Arthur suggested.

Merlin nodded and hopped over to the hob where he took the spoon and carefully scooped the scrambled egg onto the toast.

"Is there a world record for the longest time taken to prepare breakfast?" Merlin joked as they sat down at the table together.

"There might be now. Looks good, though."

"The melon does," Merlin laughed.

"So does the egg," Arthur insisted, taking a huge bite of the sandwich he'd created, "It's yummy," he spat through the food, splattering crumbs everywhere.

Merlin laughed and recoiled, "Gross! Stop, Arthur!"

"What?"

Merlin couldn't help but giggle, "That's disgusting."

Arthur swallowed, "It's not like you're doing the clearing up."

"True. I've done far too much."

"I'm proud of you, though."

"Good," Merlin grinned, "Because I'm exhausted and all I did was go downstairs, open a door and make some egg."

"Don't forget about painting the counter," Arthur teased, "But seriously, you did it all by yourself."

"Mostly."

"I'd say it counted."

"Have you got work to do?"

Arthur nodded, "I can do it whenever, though. Do you just want to go back to bed?"

"How about we go for a walk and have lunch out somewhere and then you can do some work in the afternoon?"

Arthur nodded, "If you're up for that."

"I think so."

So, once they'd finished eating, Arthur cleared everything up and then they went upstairs got washed and dressed warmly to head out. There was a lovely walk a short drive away which they'd found years ago and loved because there were lots of different routes of different lengths to take. There was even a pub with amazing food that they knew well and welcomed dogs. It was definitely their go to location for a stroll and there were a few dog-walkers they regularly saw there who they were familiar enough with for a chat.

Merlin slept for most of the afternoon while Arthur did some work downstairs. The dogs were more than happy to go between them, sometimes napping with Merlin and sometimes sniffing around the garden or sitting with Arthur.

Arthur couldn't help but be in a good mood. He was really proud of how well Merlin had done that morning and the positive mindset which seemed to have returned.

"Can we invite Gaius for dinner next week?" Merlin asked as they ate dinner together that evening, "I want for us to be able to cook it together."

"Ok," Arthur smiled, "We can do a practice tomorrow if you like and then invite him over on Sunday?"

Merlin nodded.

"I'll have to go to the shops then," Arthur said, "Do you want to come?"

Merlin shook his head, "I don't like the shops."

"I know. It's ok. I'll go in the morning."

"Not until I've got up," Merlin said.

"Never."

Quite recently, Merlin had started to dislike being left in bed alone when Arthur went out, even just to walk the dogs. Neither of them were really sure why or where it had come from but it had and Merlin refused to stay upstairs if Arthur was leaving the house.

"What do you want? Chicken or beef?"