A/N: I don't know why I'm having issues with uploading, I'm working on it, sorry.

Chapter 30

Merlin was excited to have Gaius over for dinner. They'd spent most of the day preparing everything and Merlin had been disproportionately delighted after chopping a carrot without dropping the knife or sending any pieces of vegetable flying across the room. They'd made a huge roast and an apple pie for pudding which Gaius had complemented them on extensively.

All in all, it was a very successful and pleasurable evening. Gaius seemed deeply touched and very happy as Arthur dropped him off at home.

"There weren't this many dishes last week when we practised," Merlin said as he dried the plates Arthur was putting on the draining board which they'd put on the table so Merlin had better access to it.

"There were less people last week."

"Only by one person."

"I'll finish it off if you want," Arthur said, "Do you want to go for a shower?"

"By myself?"

"You managed yesterday."

"Reluctantly. And it was in the morning when I wasn't tired."

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Ok. Well, everything's washed so it can dry overnight and we'll put it away in the morning."

"Shower?"

Merlin grinned mischievously, "Maybe something else before the shower?"

Arthur drained the sink and put the dishcloth down before turning around and raising an eyebrow, "Yeah? Like what?"

"Maybe something we haven't done in a while."

"I'm interested, go on."

"Something we both enjoy."

"Where might we do this thing?" Arthur asked suggestively.

"Oh, anywhere."

"Anywhere?"

"Usually the bed. Or the shower."

"Sofa?"

"If you fancied. Maybe not the table when the dishes are on it. But I guess the counter's available."

"You dirty pig," Arthur cracked and laughed, "The counter!"

Merlin laughed too, "Imagine if Gaius knew we messed around on the counter we cooked his dinner on."

"We've never done that," Arthur said, "The bed is just fine."

"Come on, then. Wouldn't want to keep it waiting."

Arthur came over and picked Merlin up in such a way that his thighs were squeezed around Arthur's waist and his arms were round Arthur's neck and they were face-to-face.

"I'm surprised you can still lift me."

"I'm used to it," Arthur said, "I'm very strong and you're very light. And if it means I can do things like this," Arthur kissed him briefly before walking up the stairs, "Then I don't care how difficult it is to lift you."

Unfortunately, not every day in Merlin's recovery was as good as their fake Christmas, fake Boxing Day or the meal they'd had with Gaius. In fact, just the next day, a few of the side effects of his medication caught up to him and he had to spend the day in bed, eyes squeezed shut in an attempt to block out his spinning vision and pounding head. He spent hours with his face buried in Killi's fur or the crook of Arthur's neck.

He didn't want to eat but he gulped down water like there was no tomorrow and lapped up Arthur's affections only too happily. When Arthur went out to take the dogs for a walk for a couple of hours, Morgana came to stay with Merlin. She sat downstairs so she wouldn't disturb him but came up every so often to make sure he was ok.

Once Arthur was home, he put the dogs' leads away and sat opposite his sister at the kitchen table, "Thanks for staying," he said, "Has he been ok?"

Morgana nodded, "He said his head is still sore and he can't see straight."

"Dizziness," Arthur supplied, "He's had it all day. I'll just go up and see him, two seconds."

"I'll put the kettle on."

Arthur took the stairs two at a time but slowed to go into their room. Killi had made his way up already, curled up on Merlin's feet and fallen asleep. Merlin looked like he was reading a book but his eyes were squinted with effort and they weren't actually moving back and forth.

"Feeling better?" Arthur asked.

"I'm bored."

"Can you actually read any of what's on that page?"

"No. And even if I could I can't turn the pages."

Arthur laughed, "You can come downstairs if you feel well enough."

"No."

"Do you want me to run you bath?"

Merlin thought about it then nodded.

"Ok. Do you want tea? Coffee? Water?"

"Coffee."

Arthur shouted downstairs to ask Morgana to do a coffee for Merlin too and then turned the taps on in the bathroom.

"We haven't done the mirror," Merlin said as Arthur returned to the bedroom to collect some towels.

"Do you want to?"

Merlin nodded.

"Come on then. I don't trust you to stand up on your own, though," Arthur scooped him out the bed and walked over to the mirror. "Oh," Arthur smirked, "I don't like that scowl on your face."

"I don't like how you're holding me. I'm not a girl."

"That's not sexism I'm hearing, is it?" Morgana came into the room holding two mugs, "What is going on?"

"I'm taking Merlin for a bath," Arthur said.

"In the wardrobe?"

"Don't question perfection," Arthur said.

Morgana looked completely baffled, "Alright. Where do you want these?"

"Bathroom please."

"Need anything else?"

"No, thanks."

"Leon was wondering," Morgana said as she went in and out of the bathroom, "If you wanted to come to ours for dinner. You don't have to stay, just come in, sit down, eat and leave. We just thought that neither of you would want to cook and you might want some friendly faces."

"It's up to Merlin," Arthur said, adjusting his grip on his husband.

"Squid?"

"I don't want much to eat," Merlin said, "But if I feel better after the bath then yeah."

"Do you want to have anything to eat?"

Merlin shook his head, "But I'll come."

"No problem. Enjoy your bath. Or whatever you're doing in the wardrobe."

Arthur rolled his eyes, waited for Morgana to leave and then gasped, "Ok, quickly. Something you like before I drop you."

"I like that even though I don't feel great, my eyes are bright and happy."

Arthur smiled, "I like how muscly I look because I've managed to hold you for so long."

Merlin laughed, "Ok, bathroom, let's go."

Merlin had a long, hot, bubbly bath and drank his coffee so got out feeling considerably more energized but still a little achy. He put on a brave face for diner and laughed with his niece and nephew but he didn't have to keep it up very long. They literally only stayed for what was probably less than two hours before heading home.

"When do we go away again?" Merlin asked as they were getting up the next morning.

"Two weeks tomorrow," Arthur replied immediately.

"I won't be back on my prosthetic."

"I know. It's ok, like I said, we won't be doing long walks. It's just about relaxing for a bit. Apparently they've installed a hot tub now."

"That's exciting. Oh, can you get my phone, please?" he saw the screen light up on the other side of the room.

Arthur reached for it and brought it over, "It's Freya."

"Thanks," Merlin answered it, "Hey, Frey."

"Merlin-"

"I know, I know. 'Don't call me Frey'," he mimicked, "What's up?"

"Oh," she said and Merlin could hear the smile in her voice, "Nothing much."

"No?"

"No. Just been sick, actually."

"Lovely," Merlin said sarcastically, "Thanks for sharing."

"Happened yesterday too."

"You sound very happy about that," Merlin noted suspiciously.

"Worse things have happened," Freya said.

"Out with it," Merlin said, "What is it?"

"How would you feel about becoming an uncle?"

"I'm already an uncle," Merlin tried to keep his voice straight.

"Yeah but not to any kids you're related to by birth."

"Meh," Merlin shrugged even though Freya couldn't see him, "Haven't really thought about it."

"Stop being an idiot!" Freya laughed, "I'm pregnant!"

"I got that, stupid. I'm not that slow! Congratulations!"

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Merlin grinned, "So, when's it due?"

"Late October/ early November time."

"A Halloween baby!"

"Or Bonfire Night," Freya said.

"So we can set fireworks off when it's born."

"Ok, that's a long way in the future," Freya said, "I just thought I'd let you know."

"Have you told mum?"

"Of course. She cried."

"Her first grandchild!" Merlin said, "Did you really think she wouldn't cry?"

"Not really. But still it was a nice reaction. I told her face to face. Matthew is still making her cups of tea to calm her down."

Merlin laughed, "Well, we always did say you'd be the first to have kids."

"Never thought I'd be the only one though."

"Well we knew pretty quickly that I wouldn't be helping but we always thought Will would."

"Do you think he'd have kids by now?"

"Don't know. I like to think so."

"He'd have named them after us."

"He didn't like us that much," Merlin chuckled.

"He did. He completely adored us. Are you coming over for the anniversary?"

"Probably. You'll have a little bump by then."

"You're not allowed to call me fat."

"Why would I call you fat?"

"Because you tease me all the time."

"I can't see you to know if you're fat."

"But you'll come over for the waterfall for Will in a few months and you'd better be here when I give birth?"

"Of course I'll come over. It depends on work and getting there-"

"And you getting better," Arthur cut in from across the room where he was half-listening to the conversation, "Most importantly."

"We'll see," Merlin said, "I'll talk to you about it when I get back from Scotland."

They'd decided that Merlin wouldn't start physio to be able to use his prosthetic or go back to work until after the holiday. They knew from two past experiences that it was really difficult and exhausting to go through everything to be able to use his prosthetic leg. And it had been over half a year since he'd last been up on his feet so that would only add to the difficulty. He'd had to re-learn how to walk with or without crutches more times than he could count after accidents or comas or periods of time without his prosthetic. It was more than mildly irritating.

When the day came for everyone to leave, they all were dragged out of bed at ridiculous hours. They'd planned to leave early with the hopes that the kids would sleep in the car and make the journey easier for all of them. There would be lots of stops but they needed to get to the hotel which was just over the border, most of the way there before the evening.

Everyone was travelling in their own cars with their own kids or pets. Elyan had even invited his girlfriend, Mary, to come with them this time. She was a little bit nervous about fitting in to a group which was already so close but she needn't have worried because everyone adored her. For one part of the journey, Belle insisted that she go in Arthur's car so her car-seat was dutifully transferred from one car to another, and she sat in the back, babbling away happily for a few hours. Merlin, who had been extremely anxious about the whole holiday and hadn't slept in a few days, managed to drop off and nap for most of the stretch. That left Arthur to entertain a young child on a long, boring car journey while also driving.

"When I'm older, I'm going to work at the hotels with you," Belle declared confidently.

"Yeah? You want to work with mummy and daddy?"

"I think it's a good job," she said, "And it's not as boring as being a teacher."

"What about other jobs?" Arthur asked, "A doctor or a police woman or a shopkeeper."

"Doctors save people," Belle said, "But what's the point in doing that if the person isn't happy anymore? The hotels make people happy."

"What about other things?"

Belle shrugged, "Don't want to."

Arthur smiled, "Where would you work, then? The hotel or one of the other ones?"

"Hotel," Belle said decisively, "I like the gardens and the offices are boring."

"They are boring," Arthur agreed.

"You work there," Belle giggled, "You think it's boring."

"Yeah," Arthur chuckled, "But it's fun because all my friends are there."

"Oh. You know," she changed the subject quickly for no reason other than her young, fidgety mind, "Someone at school said that their mummy said that it's not good for men to marry men or women to marry women."

"Oh yeah?"

"But I said that's wrong because you married Uncle Merlin and you love each other more than mummy loves daddy."

"What makes you think that?"

"You never fight with each other and you're never sad or grumpy about anything. Mummy and daddy shout at each other."

"That doesn't mean they don't love each other as much," Arthur said.

Belle ignored him, "And then the boy said that if a man marries a man then they can't have babies but I said that's not true as well because Uncle Gwaine and Uncle Percival have Eira. He looked really confused but my teacher told him that anyone can be with anyone and still have a family so he said his mummy must be wrong."

Arthur smiled.

"I'm going to marry a girl when I grow up," she announced.

"Oh?"

"Girls are prettier than boys and less stupid."

"You're definitely right about that."

"And it's easier to talk to girls because we know about the same stuff. Boys are only good at playtime for playing and the rest of the time they're annoying."

"I think you're right."

"Not all boys are annoying, though," Belle said, "If I found a boy like Uncle Merlin or Uncle Lancelot, I might marry him. They're nice."

Arthur glanced over at Merlin who was completely unaware of what was happening around him but Arthur was happy he'd finally managed to get some rest. "Yeah," he said, "They are nice, aren't they?"

"Mummy says it's good to have someone like them in your life. She says they make people happy."

"They do."

"Do you think Uncle Merlin will play eye spy with me?"

The hotel they were staying in was lovely. They didn't allow pets but they had found a small local business who were actually happy to take them overnight.

"How are you feeling now?" Arthur asked as they were getting ready for bed, "Still anxious?"

Merlin nodded, "Yeah. Don't know why. It's not like when I'm unwell and I'm anxious it's just… I've got bad butterflies."

Arthur nodded in understanding, "Ok, well, it might be tiredness. So we'll see about trying to get a good night's rest tonight and maybe you'll feel a bit better in the morning."

Merlin hummed, and got onto the bed where he curled up under the covers. Arthur moved his crutches out of the way and then got into the bed as well, "Did you have your meds?"

Merlin nodded and spooned Arthur from behind, "They make me feel sick."

"I know," Arthur took his hand, "Only a couple more days and you'll be off one set, though."

"Then another two weeks before I'm off the other and I'm only left with the usual."

"Which you'll be taking for a very, very long time."

"I know. Are you excited to get there?"

Arthur nodded, "Definitely. I've called shots on the same room we had last time."

"Good."

"There's that second room downstairs as well, though."

"Please tell me the kids aren't staying in there."

"They're not," Arthur assured him, "They want to be closer to their parents so I think Elyan and Mary are taking it."

"She's lovely, isn't she?"

"Really lovely. Leon wanted her working at the kitchen the very second she said she was a chef."

"They'll be making all the meals this week," Merlin predicted.

"Probably. I'm glad."

"Why?"

"Because I have to cook dinner every single day at home and I want a break."

"Oi! I help now!"

"That's true. Right. Go to sleep. Naps in the car might have got you through today but they won't tomorrow. We're only a few hours away from the house."

"I feel sick."

"You always feel sick at this time. It's the medicine."

"It's annoying."

"You'll be off it by the time we go home. Go to sleep."

Merlin groaned.

"Alright, how about this? I'm not going to sleep until you do and if I don't get enough sleep, driving will be dangerous." He rolled over and looked at Merlin who pouted at him.

"I can't help it."

"What do you want me to do?"

Merlin shrugged.

"Close your eyes," Arthur instructed, shuffling around so he could raise his arms and start massaging Merlin's temples, "Think about the waterfall," he said, "Imagine it's washing everything else away."

"Are you hypnotizing me or something?"

Arthur snorted, "No, I'm trying to get you to calm down, idiot. Shut up. Think about the countryside around your mum's house where you feel calm and safe."

"Are you there?"

"Do you want me to be?"

Merlin nodded a little bit.

"Then yes. We're standing on the bridge watching the sunrise together. Think about all of it. How everything looks, feels, smells, sounds. Every tiny thing." He watched Merlin's eyes move around behind his lids and he forced his breathing to become deeper. After a couple of minutes, the tension in his muscles vanished, the depth of his breath became natural instead of deliberate and his eyelids stopped moving.

Arthur sighed in relief, happy that he'd found a technique that apparently worked. He'd never managed to find a way to get Merlin to relax properly so quickly. It was easy for him to sleep once he knew Merlin was alright.

They didn't leave as early the next morning. They were only about two hours away from the house so the plan was to leave in the mid-morning, get there, drop all the luggage off and then go to the nearest village for lunch.

Arthur was glad to see that Merlin was still asleep when he woke up and looked like he had slept all night. He got up and ordered breakfast as room service. While he was waiting, he pondered over Merlin's anxiety. It wasn't something that surfaced often and if it did, there was always a very serious reason. But Arthur didn't understand why this holiday had been a cause for worry. They'd been before, he'd loved the time he spent there, he was going with his best friends and the children he loved like his own, they would only be there a week and it was an area that was particularly calming. Everyone had expected Merlin to be really excited for it.

And yet still he was battling with something.

"Is it the fact we'll all be together for a week?" Arthur asked as they were eating breakfast in bed.

Merlin shook his head, "I don't think so."

"Maybe because we'll be near the caves?"

"I doubt it. We're not going to them."

"We're leaving the offices unattended for a week?" Arthur suggested.

"I haven't been at work for months. It's not really on my mind."

"Then what?"

"It might just be one of those things," Merlin said, "Either it'll pass or we'll find out why it hasn't."

"Your silly funny feelings," Arthur rolled his eyes, "Wouldn't our life be so much easier without them?" He fed Merlin a piece of melon for no reason in particular other than that they were sharing breakfast, "Are you less tired now at least?"

"A bit, yeah."

"You can sleep in the car," Arthur said, "Belle won't be there to play eye-spy with you for three hours. Then you just have the afternoon unpacking in the house before you can get a good night's sleep in a bed you know."