Chapter 37

When they'd arrived back at their cabin the next afternoon, groggy and exhausted and starving, Merlin had been sure that nothing would beat the Southern Lights. That there was nothing Arthur could possibly do that would be better than that.

Until they were walking to the reception of the resort and then paddling out to the centre of the lake on a beautifully carved canoe. Everything looked a lot prettier when you were in the centre of it rather than looking on from aside. The glass-like reflections of the mountains in the water were so crisp it felt like touching them would make them shatter. To begin with, they'd just laughed as they tried helplessly to get into some sort of routine where they could move smoothly. For a while they'd veered violently in the opposite direction to where they wanted to go but once they'd got the hang of it, they made straight for the centre of the lake and looked around in awe.

Arthur had brought his phone which he'd put in a waterproof case and attached to his wrist via some clever bracelet type thing so they could take photos. He was lucky to have thought about how to keep his phone safe because in a silly attempt to stand up and paddle, the canoe inevitably tipped and they were left floating in the freezing water, unable to get back into the boat for their hysterical laughter. Eventually, Arthur managed to flip the canoe the right way around and climb into it before pulling Merlin in too.

Which led to them sitting as close to the fire on their patio as they could possibly get, wrapped in dressing gowns and blankets.

"Go on, then," Merlin said, "What's your reasoning for this one?"

"Hm?"

"You've had a soppy reason for everything we've done this week. Why the canoeing?"

"Didn't you enjoy it?"

"Oh I loved it," Merlin said, "I just want to know the inspiration."

"I didn't have it booked until we arrived," Arthur admitted, "I wanted to make sure you were as in love with the view as I hoped you'd be. And then I wanted you to be able to picture the scenery but have us be a part of it. Think of the lake as see us on it. Think of the mountains and see us beside them. I wanted you to be able to say 'I've been there', not, 'I've seen there,' when we're looking back on the trip and you see a photo in an album."

"Cute," Merlin took his hands, "That's thoughtful."

Arthur was silent for a while, "We have two full days left. I have something planned for the last day but tomorrow we're only going out for dinner and drinks. Are you sure there's nothing you want to do?"

"Positive. We've done so much already, Arthur. Canoeing, swimming with dolphins, whale watching, star gazing, hiking, helicopter rides, glow worm caves, the southern lights, camping in the car, glaciers, dinners, bungee jumping, hot springs. What else is there that I could possibly want to do?"

"When you put it like that it sounds pretty epic," Arthur grinned.

"It was," Merlin kissed him happily, enjoying the cool breeze on their faces which battled with the warmth of the flames, "Do you want me to make dinner?" he mumbled, lips still on Arthur's.

"No," Arthur moaned back, readjusting himself so he could hold onto Merlin properly and deepen the kiss.

"No?"

"Not now."

"Why might that be?"

"Because I'd much rather you were working somewhere else."

Merlin let out a little involuntary moan before saying, "Like where?"

Arthur hummed, "Upstairs?"

"It's going to feel weird not waking up to this view anymore," Merlin said thoughtfully the next morning as they ate their breakfast together.

"Back home we wake up to a dog's backside or an unfairly loud alarm," Arthur said.

"I miss it though."

"Me too. Four days and we'll be back."

"When do we need to get up?"

"Not for a while. I've booked lunch for half twelve."

Their plan for the day was to go out for lunch at their favourite restaurant of the holiday, come home and start packing then eat a small dinner at the cabin to use up the remaining food they had and then go out for drinks in the bar at the resort.

The day after that, their final day in the cabins, they finished packing everything up and began to put their bags in the car so they wouldn't have to do as much the next day. Just after lunch, Arthur told Merlin to get ready to go hiking and then led him on a walk.

"Are we staying on the resort site?" Merlin asked.

"It's not far," Arthur said, "There's a trail from the reception that leads to where we're going."

"Arthur?"

"Yeah?"

"There is something that I want to do."

"Merlin! This is our last day and I've asked you loads of times."

"No, I promise it doesn't take loads of planning or anything. It's really easy."

"Go on," Arthur sighed in exasperation.

"I want to see the sunrise."

Arthur looked at him in surprise, "Really?"

"We've seen the sunset loads of times," Merlin said, "But never the sunrise. Remember that hill where we went stargazing? I want to go there but look the other way."

"Alright. We'll get an early night tonight and get up early tomorrow and go before we leave for the airport."

Merlin smiled, "Thank you."

Arthur squeezed his hand, "Ok, we should be nearly there."

"I can hear water."

Arthur nodded, "Head towards it."

They followed the path hand-in-hand and soon were faced with a huge wooden bridge. Most other things were hidden by thick crowds of trees so Merlin couldn't see where they were. He could however hear the deafening sound of water crashing down.

"Don't look to your left," Arthur said, "Face the other way and walk to the centre of the bridge. I'll guide you."

Merlin frowned suspiciously but did as he was told and crab-walked out onto the bridge, his back to whatever Arthur was hiding.

"Ok," Arthur said, excitement lining every word, "Stop right here. Perfect. Close your eyes and turn around."

Merlin placed his hands firmly over his eyes and let Arthur spin his shoulders around, feet following obediently.

"Right. Open them."

Merlin lowered his arms, peeled his eyes open and grinned, "Oh my god."

"Isn't it amazing?"

"It looks exactly the same."

"Just bigger," Arthur agreed.

In front of them was the biggest waterfall either of them had ever seen. It would have been impressive enough even if it hadn't resembled almost perfectly another waterfall that meant more to Merlin than he could ever say. Every little ledge, every stream of water, every boulder or pool was exactly the same as those that made up the waterfall in Ireland. It was like someone had copied it, enlarged it and placed it on the other side of the world.

"Even the bridge is similar," Merlin ran his hand along the wood, "How did you find it?"

"Luck," Arthur said, "I was searching things to do while we were here and came across it. It doesn't look this good in photos, though."

"It's amazing."

"There's a photo of it in the reception of the resort," Arthur said, "I was worried you might see it and ask if we could go but I really wanted to surprise you."

"I'm not observant enough to see something like that," Merlin laughed, "I'm glad I didn't."

They didn't realise just how long they stayed at the waterfall, side by side on the bridge. They happily moved for anyone who wanted to take a photo or look at the view from where they were but hours passed before either of them even considered moving.

They went to bed early as Arthur had suggested but he realised Merlin had been quite subdued since they returned from the waterfall and went for a final swim in their pool. He wasn't too sure of how he should go about making sure he hadn't made a mistake by taking him there.

"Are you alright?" he asked after half an hour of silence sitting in bed, "It's not the waterfall is it?"

"What? No! I loved the waterfall it was really touching."

"Oh," Arthur looked surprised. He'd been so sure that he was going to have to apologise for ruining their final day together, "What's wrong then?"

"I'm just starting to get anxious about going home. We've been in our own little world while we've been away and now we have to go back to everything. Freya's babies and work and the dogs. I love all of it but it's nice not having to think and worry all the time."

"If we lived like this all the time it wouldn't be special."

"It wouldn't be sad when it ended either," Merlin smiled.

"Are you still worried about Freya?"

Merlin nodded, "I had the same dream again last night. And Freya says she's getting really close."

"Bet that's doing wonders for your anxiety," Arthur rolled his eyes.

"She doesn't know about the nightmares," Merlin said, "But everything she says makes me more worried. I should be excited."

"As soon as everything goes alright, you will be."

"Are we driving to get there?"

"I've got the ferry booked for three days after we get home. I promised everyone we'd work in Ismere while we were there seeing as we haven't been to work in a month and we're going straight to Ireland afterwards."

Merlin nodded.

"It'll be alright, gorgeous," Arthur kissed his cheek, "Come on, we've got a busy day tomorrow."

"Before we go to sleep," Merlin tore his eyes away form the window, "Maybe we could do something to make the last night here memorable? I need something to take my mind off home."

Arthur grinned and sat up immediately, "Gladly."

Their alarms were set for a ridiculous hour in the morning when it was still dark. They packed everything up, said goodbye to the cabin and dropped the key off in the box at reception before driving off to the car park at the bottom of the hill. They got to the viewpoint just in time for light to start poking up above the horizon. The sunrise wasn't particularly spectacular or filled with vibrant colours. But the sun rays streamed around the clouds in perfectly straight lines and illuminated everything in separate dots.

Merlin was perfectly happy with how everything went from pitch black silhouettes to magical, golden scenery right in front of them.

"We need to go," Arthur said quietly, "We have to get to the airport."

They made their way back to the car and Arthur drove the few hour journey to the airport. Merlin looked out the window the entire way, cherishing every tiny piece of scenery that he caught sight of, desperate to remember all of it.

The flight to Australia was only short so Arthur managed with just his travel sickness tablets and the comfort of Merlin's hand in his. Once again they'd be staying for a while in Australia and their flight to Singapore was late that night.

But as they were waiting for their flight which was, naturally, delayed, Merlin received a slightly disturbing text and his face blanched, "Arthur."

"Yeah?"

With a shaking hand, Merlin passed him his phone. "Oh, Merlin," Arthur sighed, "Come on. Toilets."

He dragged Merlin to the nearest toilets and smiled at the people who were there like nothing was wrong.

"There's nothing we can do until we're there, Merls," he said quietly, slightly annoyed at Merlin's mother, "We still have twenty-four hours of travel before we get home."

Merlin stared at him in terror, "It happened. It actually happened. Just like I dreamed and-"

"No, Merlin. We don't know that."

"I have to be there."

"You will be," Arthur promised, "I'll book the flight now. It'll be fine."

"A full day," he wined.

Arthur pulled him into a tight hug and let him cry, reading the text again over his shoulder.

'Merlin, sweetie,' it read, 'I don't want you to worry but Freya isn't very well. She's in hospital and they're finding out what's wrong. I'll keep you updated. Safe travels.'

It wasn't entirely Hunith's fault. At this stage in Freya's pregnancy, anything would make them go to see a doctor to make sure everything was alright. She didn't know about Merlin's recent dreams and fears. There was no way for her to know a little text like that would cause so many issues.

A few minutes later, Arthur was on his phone, searching for the earliest flight to Ireland they could get on while Merlin splashed his face with cold water from the sink and took a minute to calm himself.

"Here, Merls," Arthur said, "I found one. I'll book it now."

Merlin nodded shakily and wiped his eyes.

He didn't sleep on either of the flights. His mind was far too awake to do anything but worry. Arthur travel sickness was absolutely awful, their flight from Australia was delayed meaning there was every possibility that they could miss the flight from Singapore, he didn't know what was happening to his sister. Far too much was going on for him to be able to rest.

It was annoying him that every flight was longer than the previous one. The one from Singapore back to home was the longest. Arthur was seriously struggling. He was shaking, vomiting, feeling faint and dizzy. His head was pounding, he was sweating like never before and he was freezing.

After thirteen of the most mentally painful hours either of them had ever experienced, they stumbled off the plane and met with Morgana who Arthur had called in Singapore.

"You can't on another plane," she said to Arthur seriously. He was swaying on the spot, looking pale and tired.

"I have to. We've got one booked, it leaves in a few hours."

"You're too sick," she said.

Merlin let out an embarrassing whimper and wiped his eyes, "She's right."

"What? No, Merlin, we have to go."

"You can't, Arthur," he said, trying not to get emotional, "You need food and rest. You're exhausted and ill."

"You still have the ferry booked in a few days," Morgana said, "You can still go then. But both of you look beyond tired. Give yourselves some time."

"I'm sorry, Merls," Arthur said sadly, sinking into a chair to keep himself from falling over.

"Don't worry," Merlin forced himself to smile.

His phone pinged and he fished it out his pocket. He'd texted his mum to tell her they'd landed safely and to ask for an update.

"Everything alright?" Morgana asked.

"No," Merlin bit back tears, "She's really sick, it's not good."

"We're going," Arthur said, "We have to."

"No," Merlin took a deep breath, "I'm going. You're not. Not until you're better."

Arthur stared at him, "No!"

"I'm not letting you make yourself more sick," Merlin said, "I don't want to leave you behind, I want to look after you but… Freya- she's my sister and-"

"Let me call someone," Morgana said, "Gwaine or Lance. They'll come with you."

"There's not enough time. I have to be on the flight."

"You can't go by yourself," Arthur insisted.

"I have to. My mum will meet me in Ireland, it's just an hour or so. It's you I'm worried about."

Arthur forced himself to his feet, intending to hug him but ended up having to run to the toilets.

"Are you sure?" Morgana asked while they waited for him to come back, "You'll be alright?"

"Maybe not," Merlin said, "But I have to be there for Freya. I can't lose her like I lost Will. Getting there too late to do anything or say goodbye. Look after Arthur."

"Keep us updated," Morgana hugged him.

Arthur stumbled out of the toilets, green faced and dizzy. "I'll be there in a few days. Call me all the time."

"I promise," Merlin kissed him and then winced, "Brush your teeth before you come, though," he smiled a little.

"Be careful," Arthur held him tightly, "I love you."

"I love you too. Go and get better. Killi will look after you."

It felt unnatural to watch Arthur leave the airport with his suitcase while Merlin stayed with his. The second his husband was out of sight he broke down into tears and sobbed until he had to move to get on the plane. He'd texted Hunith to tell her what was happening and she'd called him immediately.

"I'm on my way to the airport," she said, "It's a few hours away from the hospital but I should be there when you land."

"How's Freya?"

"I don't know, honey," she said, "We don't know what's going on. But Matthew's sister is there with him so he's not by himself. I'm not sure I would have wanted to leave him there."

"Morgana's taken Arthur home," Merlin said, "He's really not well from all the flying."

"Poor thing," Hunith sighed sympathetically, "Are you ok?"

"I guess."

"You don't sound ok."

"I haven't slept in over a day and a half," Merlin said, "I've been travelling for two days straight, I haven't eaten in the past day, my little sister's ill and no one knows why and I had to choose between being with her and being with my sick husband who I never spend a day away from. I've been better."

"Try and get some rest on the plane," Hunith encouraged.

"I'll try," he said to keep her happy.

"How was your holiday?"

"Not now, mum. Please. I'll be boarding soon, I need to go."

"Make sure you at least get yourself a bottle of water. I won't have you collapsing from exhaustion or dehydration."

"I will. I'll see you soon, love you mum."

Sitting on the plane alone was surreal. The poor woman sitting next to Merlin must have been very confused because he kept looking at her, forgetting it wasn't Arthur by his side, and opening his mouth to speak. So much had happened within the space of two days that Merlin's mind hadn't caught up to it all yet, despite having done nothing but sit on a plane.

His body was screaming for peace and sleep but his brain didn't have time to listen to his body because it was flitting between worry for Freya and worry for Arthur. The second he was allowed to, Merlin shot out of his seat and practically ran off the plane to find his mother, nearly forgetting to collect his baggage which, naturally, was one of the last suitcases to appear on the belt.

Somehow, as she always did, Hunith managed to look calm and relatively collected as she hugged her son. She was more than used to coping mentally while her children were sick although usually, it wasn't Freya who was in need of the medical attention. With barely a word, she ushered Merlin out the airport and into her car, pulling out the parking space before he'd even closed the door.

"Have you had any news?" Merlin asked.

"My phone ran out of battery," she said.

Merlin fished his phone out his pocket, and sent a text to Matthew to tell him they were on their way and to ask what was going on. He then called Morgana and waited anxiously for her to answer.

"Merlin?"

"How's Arthur?" he asked immediately.

"He's fine, I took him back to mine so he can stay until he's feeling better. I can go and wake him up if you want to speak to him," she offered.

"No, don't worry. Just tell him that I got here safely and I'm with my mum."

"Ok. Keep us updated, I've spoken to everyone, they know what's happening."

"Thanks. I'll let you know when we're at the hospital."

"We're all sending our love," Morgana said.

Merlin put his phone down somewhere it would be easy for him to pick up again when Matthew replied. "How far away are we?" he asked Hunith.

"Well over an hour."

"I bet it'll feel like about five," Merlin muttered, rubbing his eyes, "What even happened? When I called you the other day you said everything was fine."

"It was," Hunith said, "But yesterday Freya woke up with awful pains in her stomach. A few hours later she was vomiting and bleeding so Matthew called her doctor and they told him to bring her in to hospital to be checked properly. By the time I found out and got there they'd got the bleeding under control but she was still nauseous and weak. They wanted to send her home because they'd done a scan and the babies looked fine. As we were getting ready to leave she collapsed and wasn't responding so obviously they rushed her back in. That was late last night."

"Give me that in hours," Merlin said, "The time difference is confusing."

Hunith glanced quickly at her watch, "About five hours ago."

"So when you texted me she'd only just been taken in?"

Hunith nodded. "Have you heard from Matthew?"

"Not yet," Merlin leant back against the seat and sighed, trying not to think about how drastically everything had changed in only a couple of days.

"Freya didn't want me to text you," Hunith said, "She said you've been really worried about her and didn't want to make you sick with worry on your flights. She thought it would have been better if we called Gwen or Morgana or whoever was going to meet you at the airport. She was probably right."

"How so?"

"You look awful, honey. Have you eaten or slept at all over the past few days?"

"I couldn't. We got food on the plane but I couldn't stomach it. They gave me loads of water though so don't fuss over me."

His phone rang and he scrambled to answer it, "Matthew?"

"Hello, Merlin," his voice sounded sad and empty.

"How's Freya?"

"Not sure. They can't figure out what happened."

"So there's been no change?"

"Not since your mum left."

Merlin sighed sadly, "We'll be there soon."

"My sister had to leave," Matthew said, "She got an urgent call from work."

"Have you had anything to eat?" Hunith asked loudly and Merlin turned the phone onto speaker so she could hear his response.

Matthew nearly laughed, "Not yet. I wanted to wait to speak to the doctor but it's looking like it might be a while before that happens."

"What time even is it?" Merlin asked.

"Jet-lagged?" Matthew teased.

"Yes. And exhausted, confused and anxious. Checking the time is the last thing on my mind."

"It's just gone two in the afternoon," Matthew said, "Or, as your mum would say, lunchtime."

"You'd better go and get some food then," Merlin said, "We'll see you soon."

"You need some sleep, mister," Hunith said to Merlin when he'd put his phone away.

"Not until I've seen Freya."

"Travelling is tiring at the best of times, Merlin. You've had four flights, two long car journeys and hours of waiting in airports. You've had to look after Arthur, deal with some difficult news, leave before you even got home and go for days with no food. All of this after what was already an exhausting month-long trip. Give yourself a rest."

"Did you? All those years ago when you got that call to say I was dying and Will was-" he choked, and took a deep breath, "Did you stop to rest? Did you stop for a nice lunch on your way to the airport or have a little nap in the hospital waiting room before you spoke to a doctor?"

Hunith sighed, "No. But Freya isn't dying, honey. She's going to be alright. So-"

"Drop it, mum," Merlin said, a little more sharply than he intended to.