I wrote this while going through deep emotional distress and this is more of a cathartic outlet for me. Be warned: this is NOT a happy ending.
Boku no Hero Academia © Kohei Horikoshi
The first time Bakugou and Uraraka kissed was at a party.
It was not so much a party as it was a small gathering with their classmates, lounging sleepily about the bottom floor of the dorms, trying to recover from finals. It was almost summer. The air was beginning to warm and buzz with the anticipation of vacation. As exhausted as class 1-A was, they were just as restless. Too tired to train, but too awake to sleep. They wanted to do something without actually doing anything.
They had watched a movie or two before boredom took over. They had exhausted the regular word games, the tongue twister challenges, the card games. They had even tried gambling, unsuccessfully. Spurred on by the setting sun and teenage hormones and the challenge of keeping Bakugou's attention, someone, perhaps Denki or maybe Mineta, then suggested some American game called Spin the Bottle. The rules were simple, they said, you spin the bottle and kiss whoever it lands on, then that person spins the bottle and kisses whoever it lands on, so on and so forth.
Everyone perked up immediately. A kissing game, they all thought.
It had been nerve-wracking at first, all pounding hearts and sweaty hands as the first person spun the bottle. Round and round it went. The room went completely silent, save a sharp inhale from Jirou as her spin slowed and slowed until it landed on Momo. Then, the room erupted.
Jirou crawled across the circle and with closed eyes and pursed lips, pressed a chaste kiss on Momo's cheek, much to the disappointment of many people in the room. Then Jirou retreated back to her spot at lightning speed and kept her eyes trained on the ground, blushing furiously. The game continued with new fervor.
It grew late, but somehow miraculously, all of class 1-A was still present. Even the early birds like Bakugou had been captivated by the game, either by the novelty of it all or the opportunity to kiss one of their classmates. It had all been very tame so far - lots of forehead kisses, cheek kisses, even back-of-the-hand kisses.
Then it was Bakugou's turn to spin the bottle.
With a violent flick of the wrist, he spun it around, too fast for their eyes to track. They watched with bated breath as it began to slow down. After what seemed like an eternity, it finally did.
Uraraka felt her face grow uncomfortably warm as she realized the bottle was pointing directly at her. She gulped and looked up to meet Bakugou's gaze. The room didn't quite erupt, but the tension was there all the same.
Never one to back down from a challenge, Bakugou marched across the circle with fire in his eyes. He took Uraraka by the hand to stand her up, cupped her face with both hands, and regarded her anxious expression and quivering bottom lip with momentary, unfamiliar tenderness.
Then he kissed her.
It was by no means a perfect first kiss, what with the clacking of teeth and bumping of noses and hollering of their classmates. But Uraraka found herself floating up to the ceiling all the same.
That was their first kiss.
The first time Bakugou and Uraraka went on a date, it was by accident.
The seasons were in the middle of changing once more, red and orange and yellow leaves decorating the sidewalk, the air taking on a biting chill. They were well into their second year and working their internships on a rather calm weekend. They were supposed to have a casual hey how're you doing type of meeting with their mentors somewhere in the city. But either by great coincidence or great planning, Bakugou and Uraraka found themselves waiting at the same cafe, two tables apart, stood up by Miruko and Gunhead respectively.
They had acknowledged each other when Bakugou first entered the cafe with a brief glance and a short nod. The kiss they'd shared a few months ago hadn't changed much between them, nor had they expected it to. Outwardly at least.
Bakugou was certainly more aware of Uraraka, maybe a little too aware. He was noticing a lot more things about her. The little things. The way she'd react to their classmates' antics with a chuckle and a snort. The way she'd furrow her brow and rub the pads on her ring fingers when the lecture got particularly confusing. The way she'd fall asleep and sprawl out on the couch, all outstretched limbs and snoring, not even ten minutes into starting homework.
Uraraka, on the other hand, had been trying her best to avoid Bakugou at all costs. To say the kiss had awakened something in her would be an understatement. Whatever it was, it made the school-girl crush she'd harbored for Deku pale in comparison. And whatever it was frightened and confused her and she firmly decided that if she treated it like it didn't exist, maybe it would actually cease to exist. Too bad Bakugou had firmly decided to remind her of his existence, explosive and overwhelming, on a near constant basis.
It had been a little over an hour for Bakugou and nearly two hours for Uraraka before they realized they'd been stood up. Then it became a game of overthinking and stolen glances. Bakugou wanted to leave - he was impatient by nature and very hungry - but that would involve walking past Uraraka. And from there, a whole tree of options sprouted.
He could just go back to the dorms and eat. Or he could strike up a conversation and from there, he could make small talk, then go back to the dorms and eat. Or he could ask her if she'd like to eat dinner with him, either at the dorms or elsewhere. Or he could leave it entirely up to chance. If he breezed past her, perhaps she would initiate conversation -
This was all ruined, of course, when he looked up to find Uraraka standing at his table, fidgeting nervously but meeting his gaze confidently. His tree of options vanished. She explained how she had been waiting for someone and how it'd been almost two hours since she got here and I'm kind of getting hungry, are you getting hungry, maybe um do you want to grab a bite to eat before we head back to the dorms? It took a whole minute for him to process her rambling, but then he grunted in affirmation, collected his things, and followed her stiffly out the door.
The cold air whipped around them as they walked side by side through the city. Uraraka wasn't cold since she had her own personal space heater in the form of Bakugou. But when she asked him if he was in the mood for anything and he turned to her to respond, they locked eyes briefly and she found herself shivering. Bakugou just barely fought the impulse to shuck off his coat and drape it over her flimsy hoodie.
They ended up at a ramen bar. Uraraka had been prepared to eat in complete silence, but she soon discovered that conversation with Bakugou was surprisingly easy, surprisingly effortless. It was slow at first, but they found they had plenty to talk about, from their classes to their internships. As the sun disappeared over the horizon and the ramen disappeared from their bowls, they found themselves discussing more personal things, things Uraraka had never expected to hear from Bakugou, things like family and interests and the future.
Impulsively, Uraraka asked if they were on a date.
Bakugou asked if she wanted it to be a date. She had no response to that, other than to slurp down the rest of her ramen and change the subject.
As they left, Bakugou shoved a wad of cash at the cashier before Uraraka had a chance to even search for her wallet. Since they were on a date and all, he'd muttered without looking at her. She flushed and thanked him for the meal, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice and the smile off her face. They walked back to the train station together, shoulders bumping all the while.
That was their first date.
The first time Bakugou and Uraraka said "I love you," they had nearly died.
Actually, to say they'd nearly died was a bit of an exaggeration, but fights with villains always seemed to count as near death experiences nowadays. And villains sure seemed to love causing trouble around school festival times.
The League of Villains had gotten stronger, but so had the students of UA. Even with the League's newfound abilities and confidence, the members of class 2-A matched them blow for blow, despite being exhausted from training and internships and preparing for the school festival performance that absolutely had to put last year's performance to shame.
Forced to train both independently and in teams by Aizawa in the past few months, the students managed to hold their own and then some. Especially Bakugou and Uraraka. After realizing how compatible their quirks really were, they had been pushed to the edge by their teachers and their peers to develop their own unique style.
It definitely helped that they were dating.
Their classmates called them a power couple and that's exactly what they were. They were stunningly dynamic together, constantly pushing each other to do the best, to be the best. They fueled each other's competitive spirits and kept each other accountable. They supported each other. To anyone watching them, that much was clear. They were aware of each other's limits, and even though communication had been rocky at first, they tried their best to adjust to each other.
Bakugou learned that Uraraka absolutely hated passive aggressiveness and preferred direct and straightforward communication, learned that she loved it when he complimented her or validated her feelings. Conversely, Uraraka learned that Bakugou hated being left on read or not being acknowledged in general, learned that he loved to take any opportunity to spend time with her, even if they had nothing to do or everything to do.
Not to say they didn't have their problems. Of course they did, as every couple does. They argued. Often. Sometimes their verbal quarrels escalated and carried over into sparring sessions. Those were particularly dangerous days for the rest of class 2-A. Luckily for 2-A and unluckily for the League, it had been a particularly dangerous day.
Their fight had been over something trivial, probably about something Bakugou had done or something Uraraka hadn't done, but regardless, it left a trail of devastation through the League's forces.
Despite being in the middle of a screaming match and despite his utmost confidence in her, Bakugou's heart almost leapt out of his chest when he saw a lumbering, snarling nomu swing its huge arm at his girlfriend. Before he could open his mouth, she jumped up to dodge it. She reached the apex of her jump, pressed five fingers to the nomu's arm and used the momentum from its punch to spin it around. She whipped it in Bakugou's general direction, shouting angrily at him over the din of battle. Their classmates briefly pondered if that was something they'd practiced as part of their style or just Uraraka finding an excuse to throw something at her boyfriend.
Bakugou roared a snarky comment in response as he blasted the weightless nomu sky high with his quirk. It flew up and out of sight, unbound by gravity, with all of the combined momentum from its punch, Uraraka's throw and Bakugou's explosion translated into speed. Uraraka released her quirk as she stomped over toward Bakugou to continue their argument. The nomu plummeted back to earth a ways away, creating a deep crater upon impact.
You need to be more aware of your surroundings, how could you be so reckless -
I can handle myself and you know this, so why don't you trust me -
It's not that I don't trust you, I just worry about you and am I not allowed to be worried -
It just feels like you don't have any confidence in me and I don't appreciate -
I worry because I love you, okay!?
Bakugou's confession was punctuated by a far off explosion. Uraraka blinked in surprise and wondered if her boyfriend was red out of anger or embarrassment or the heat from his explosions or maybe all three. She grinned and jumped at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and sending them both tumbling into the air weightlessly, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his bruised, soot-covered face. He turned away slightly, grumbling under his breath, but he wrapped his arms around her waist and kept her anchored to him as they floated a few feet above the ground.
Aw, Bakugou! I love you, too!
URARAKA! BAKUGOU! HAPPY FOR YOU, BUT NOT THE TIME OR PLACE!
Another explosion sounded in the distance.
That was their first "I love you."
The first time Bakugou and Uraraka broke up, it had been over something trivial.
At least to everyone else, it had been something trivial. But behind the scenes, there had been at least a couple months of build up that the two had tried to deal with quietly. Their most serious fights were the ones least publicized.
Transitional periods are the most difficult times in people's lives, and Bakugou and Uraraka were no exceptions to this fact. With graduation just around the corner and the future looming over their heads, they were forced to face the questions and changes they had been putting off.
More than anything, they wanted to be a part of each other's lives. But life has a funny way of working out sometimes, almost cruel in the direction it takes people.
They were both slated to enter the professional hero industry, having already established a secure network through internships and through the notoriety of their class in itself. They were both to be rising stars. Or at least, that's what Bakugou thought.
Uraraka had other plans. He knew she loved her family above all else, knew she had started pursuing life as a hero for their sake rather than her own. So it shouldn't have been as much of a surprise as it was when she announced that she would be returning home indefinitely to help out the family business.
Bakugou did not take this well. Since the first mention of this plan, even when it was still just a consideration instead of a set decision, they'd had more intense fights more frequently. He accused her of being afraid of the future and giving up on her dream. She retorted that he never knew the struggle of having to support or worry about his parents.
What he didn't want to admit was his own fear that she was leaving him, giving up on him. He never thought he'd be the romantic type, but he'd dreamt of their future together, as heroes and as lovers. He'd dreamt of maybe living together, maybe marriage, maybe kids. And she shattered it with one sentence.
He hated that she was being so selfless. Rather, he hated that he was being so selfish.
It wasn't like Uraraka took too kindly to the idea either. The reality of being a hero struck her one day as they were discussing the future. It was an oversaturated, competitive business in which one had to claw their way to the top. Steady work nor a livable wage were ever guaranteed. Uraraka wanted to work as a hero, but she couldn't ignore her family's struggles. It was easier to go home and help them directly, at least for a while, at least until they got back on their feet. She decided that only when she knew they were stable could she pursue her passion without reserve.
She had just wanted his support. She had just wanted to hear him say that everything was going to be fine, that she could take all the time she needed, that the hero industry wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, that he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.
And he had just wanted her reassurance. He had just wanted to hear her say that she wasn't giving up on her dream or on him, that she would be back before he knew it, that she still wanted to be a hero, wanted to be with him.
Months of unresolved tension and escalating arguments all came to a head one spring day a few weeks before graduation. Over something trivial.
They usually waited for each other at the school gates before heading off to their internships together. But after a particularly stressful day with exams she'd nearly failed and a meeting she was unfortunately very late to, Uraraka dashed off to Gunhead's office immediately after class. She'd meant to text Bakugou, she really did.
So when she returned to the dorms that night, exhausted both physically and mentally, she was not prepared for his trademark explosive temper.
Why the fuck didn't you wait for me? And you couldn't even tell me?
I thought I texted you -
You didn't. You just left. Like you always do, like you're going to do.
I'm not… Ugh! It's been a really rough day. Really rough. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I don't have time for this right now!
You don't seem to have time for anything anymore, not even the two seconds it takes to press send on a text to your damn boyfriend.
You're always like this lately - No, I'm sorry, I really… Fine. Fine! Let's talk about this now, since you want to talk about it so badly and it's always about what you want, isn't it?
No, because lately it hasn't been about what I want. It's never going to be about what I want! You know what, maybe we should just stop talking altogether since you obviously don't have the time -
Maybe we should!
Fine!
FINE!
And they stood like that, fuming and glaring at each other in the middle of the common room, both desperately wishing they could take it all back, both too proud to actually do so.
It wasn't until graduation came and went and there had been no apologies, no talking, no acknowledgement of each other when the finality of it all finally sunk in. It wasn't until she waited until the very last minute to board her train and caught no glimpse of him at all that Uraraka realized maybe it was actually over. It wasn't until he watched her train speed off into the distance from a high-rise office building and realized he may never see her again that Bakugou started sobbing.
That was their first break up.
The first time Bakugou and Uraraka got back together, he nearly cracked one of her ribs.
Their meeting had been a coincidence. A lovely, wonderful coincidence.
It had only taken a year for Uraraka to help her parents reach financial stability. With her quirk, jobs were completed in half the time and with half the manpower. It'd been small and slow at first, fixing leaky rooftops or adding extra rooms every couple weeks or so. But people were naturally drawn to Uraraka's charming smile and personality and so flocked to her parents' office, seeking their services and sometimes even a job. Business picked up quickly after that. Within the year, her parents had more than just a handful of employees and a big contract for a new high-rise in a nearby city.
Meanwhile, it had only taken a year for Bakugou to skyrocket through the ranks of the pro hero world. His exploits as a sidekick were myriad, and while his prickly personality left much to be desired, many agencies were looking to sign him. He'd be a younger pro than Hawks, they said. He just needed that extra spark, something to make him more commercial. Something like a significant other, they said. To that, he always responded with nothing more than an uncharacteristically icy glare.
Bakugou and Uraraka met at the Musutafu train station on the first day of summer.
She was arriving in the city for the first time in a long time. He was on his way to a press conference. As they crossed through the gates in opposite directions, they happened to look up and at each other.
Time stopped. The rest of the world faded away.
Bakugou couldn't force his way back through the turnstiles so he leapt over them instead, much to the chagrin of other travelers and the security guards. He landed in front of her, not as graceful as he would've liked, but none of that mattered now. For a split second, he anxiously scanned her face, the face he hadn't seen in a year. For what, he didn't know. Then the corners of her lips turned up in a small smile and tears welled at the corner of her eyes and she mouthed his name. And that was all it took.
He wrapped his arms around her and crushed her to him tightly, so tightly that Uraraka could barely breathe. She rejoiced at the familiar feel of his skin on hers, the familiar smell of caramelized sugar. She had forgotten how easily and effortlessly the curve of her body fit against the hard planes of his. She had never forgotten how much she missed this, how much she had missed him, and tried to hug him back just as tightly.
Bakugou tried to squeeze a whole year's worth of conversations, apologies, and I love yous into that hug. He knew he would never be able to. There was just too much. So he tightened his hold on her, afraid that she'd somehow disappear if he let go. Then he heard a soft ow. He jumped back as if he'd burned her and held her at an arm's length away, hands hovering anxiously at her shoulders.
Uraraka. How - I'm sorry, did I hurt you?
Just a little, it's okay though. Hi, Bakugou. Long time no see.
Here she was, standing before him once again, not a dream or a hallucination and he did not want to waste that chance. Hero obligations and press conference be damned. His strong aversion to public displays of affection be damned. Bakugou wrapped her up in his arms again, tenderly now, and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head. Then he scooped up her bags and asked where she was headed. She sheepishly responded that she didn't know, so he offered his couch. She accepted graciously.
It was surprisingly easy to slip back into their old routine. Uraraka felt like the past year without each other had happened in a different plane of reality. Bakugou felt like all the missing pieces of his life he hadn't even known were missing were all slowly falling back into place.
They apologized for the mistakes, the miscommunication, the things they had said out of anger. They talked about what they had meant to say, about what they had wanted to say but didn't. They discussed what they had done in the past year, what they were planning to do in the upcoming years. They kissed, often. So many things had changed, but so many things somehow felt the same.
Every time Bakugou made her laugh, Uraraka felt an ache in her chest. Sentimental as she was, she thought it was her heart lamenting the fact that it hadn't felt this way in a year, the fact that she wasted so much time being too stubborn and too proud. She thought it was heartache.
Turns out, Bakugou had just bruised one of her ribs.
This revelation made the two of them laugh harder. Caught up in this moment of bliss, Uraraka asked if you're single, would you like to try again? Without hesitation, he lifted her in his arms, spinning her carefully as to not bruise any more ribs, and replied, a thousand, a million times yes.
Needless to say, she did not sleep on the couch.
That was their first reunion.
That was also the last of their firsts.
The last time Bakugou and Uraraka went on a date, a villain crashed their five year anniversary.
While it had technically been five years since they first started dating in high school, it had been two years since they had reunited at Musutafu Station and decided to try again. So really, it was their two year anniversary.
Hero work had been more taxing than either of them had anticipated. They were signed to different agencies with different lines of work and different schedules. There were hero couples out there that made it work, no doubt, and Bakugou and Uraraka were trying their damn best to be one of them.
Individually, they were well-known for outstanding professionalism and performance in their respective fields. Bakugou had finally gone pro. His no nonsense attitude and top notch combat skills garnered fan support and earned him a spot on the Top 20 heroes list. Meanwhile, Uraraka had made leaps and bounds in the rescue division with her quick strategizing and reassuring personality, and was even in the middle of pioneering a new branch of heroes.
Uraraka's proposed support branch was different than sidekicks. Inspired by Aizawa's method of training from her high school years, she wanted a branch that grouped heroes based on quirk compatibility. To be able to call on another hero whose quirk interacted with yours in a specific way that was appropriate for a particular situation - that was what Uraraka had wanted. Aizawa would have been proud.
And Bakugou was more than eager to help her with field demonstrations. Just as they were able to slip back into their old routines, they were able to slip back into their old style just as easily, the style they had developed in high school. Real life application and scrutinizing superiors forced them to re-perfect it within a matter of weeks.
All of this - Bakugou's pro ranking, Uraraka's innovation, their partnership on and off the battlefield - skyrocketed them into celebrity status. But there were a lot of dangers associated with dating in the modern hero world, what with the growing prominence of social media and accessibility of information. Villains had started shifting away from public confrontation to private meddling. Heroes' personal lives were more of a target than they'd ever been. It just so happened that Bakugou and Uraraka's personal lives, specifically their dating life, was one of the most publicized in the industry.
So even when they went out for a late dinner on their five two year anniversary in full disguise, someone recognized them and immediately posted their whereabouts to social media. Even when they were tucked away in the back of a small, hole-in-the-wall, family run restaurant, a group of villains came bursting through the walls not ten minutes later.
Their evening had already been stressful enough. When they'd slipped back into old routines, they slipped into everything, the good and the bad, the comfortable intimacy and the stormy arguments.
However, Bakugou and Uraraka realized, having attempted dating other people in the year apart, that they just fundamentally understood each other. So despite the petty remarks, the silent treatment, the miscommunication, they reasoned that they wouldn't find anyone else to tolerate them in the way they did each other. They just fit together.
That's why they were absolutely determined and prepared to spend the rest of their lives together. The slim silver bands on their ring fingers were evidence of that.
Their evening had already been ruined or close to ruined by something one of them had said or hadn't said in a press conference earlier that day. Their fiery argument had been reduced to harsh whispers, but the intensity was there all the same. So when a group of villains crashed through the walls of the restaurant, they were met with the full force of Bakugou and Uraraka's combined fury and irritation. The two heroes had done their best to mitigate the damage to the restaurant and civilians, but that had come at the cost of their own safety.
Bakugou had been busy dealing with a villain whose quirk allowed him to absorb and redirect the impact of his explosions and Uraraka had been outside aiding in the evacuation of civilians. Then the League of Villains made their grand return.
Bakugou saw it happen from inside the restaurant, almost in slow motion, too preoccupied and distracted to react in time. In the past year, he had gotten better about trusting her, letting her hold her own in battle. But watching her disappear under a pile of cloned bodies and hearing her blood-curdling scream sent his heart plummeting into the center of the earth and his rationale flying out the window. He found himself hurtling toward her with a much too fiery explosion. Thoughts of mitigating collateral damage evaporated. There was only one thing on his mind. Reaching her.
Uraraka was in the hospital for two weeks. Bakugou had spent every night at her bedside. When she was discharged, he told her that he never wanted to see her in that state again. What he didn't tell her, but what was heavily implied, was that he felt fully responsible for her injuries.
He felt responsible not just for his inability to reach her in time, but for the fact that she was a target by association. Never mind the fact that she attracted her own attention with her own reputation. Never mind the fact that bodily harm happened to be one of the liabilities she faced daily as a professional hero. He was absolutely resolute in his decision to never let her be hurt again.
So once she was discharged, Bakugou decided to hurt her anyway. Just once, he figured, was better than multiple times for the rest of their lives. Once she was discharged, he decided to cut ties with Uraraka. Very publicly and without any input from her. Good luck with everything, he said as he gave her his ring and walked away.
And so Uraraka was left there, swarmed by paparazzi, collapsed in front of the hospital wrapped in his jacket and clutching his ring to her chest, shaking and struggling to choke back strangled sobs.
That was their last date.
The last time Bakugou and Uraraka kissed, it had been the morning Bakugou flew to New York.
Despite "The Anniversary Incident," as they both lovingly dubbed it, they had both been too greedy, too selfish to give each other up. Three months after their public "break-up," Bakugou came knocking on her door one night. She opened the door to find him panting, eyes and nose a faint red from crying. Uraraka's heart somehow both shattered and swelled upon seeing him.
A secret, he proposed. I can't live without you. More than anything, I want to keep you in my life. Uraraka wondered how he always managed to spin her shapeless thoughts into words. So she agreed, having missed him more than ever, more than she had during their year apart. He crossed the threshold into her apartment and swept her into a crushing embrace.
Their relationship, to the public eye, was non-existent. They agreed that they couldn't be exclusive, just to maintain appearances. So Bakugou and Uraraka were both technically single. Albeit still madly in love with each other and still sneaking in and out of each other's now separate apartments in the dead of night. On occasion, one would wake up to find the other still asleep in their arms and rejoice, because that meant spending another day together. Until they separated later under the cover of darkness.
This was fine, Uraraka told herself. Although more casual and not exclusive, the relationship - if it could even be called that - was healthier than what they had previously, where they saw each other every day and consequently, fought nearly every day. Now, they hardly fought. Or perhaps that was because they hardly even saw each other, much less talked. And if they talked, it was so inane, so impersonal that she sometimes felt like an online hookup.
This was fine, Bakugou told himself. This was the best way they could be with each other while considering the other's safety and wellbeing. Although there was some unchecked anxiety and jealousy on his part, he was content with this arrangement and so was she, at least to his knowledge. Then again, when would he have the opportunity to complain when they saw each other so infrequently, to be jealous when they decided they weren't exclusive?
Despite their attempts to stay as uninvolved in each other's personal lives as much as possible, making conversation had always been easy and effortless for them. Their line of work happened to be their first and favorite conversation topic when they had time to talk. For the past month, Bakugou had been broaching the topic of accepting a long exchange assignment in the United States. For the past month, Uraraka had been wondering if this is how he felt all those years ago when she went home after high school.
The last thing she wanted on her plate was boy problems, especially since she was technically single. Yet there she was. 22 years old and a Professional Hero with Boy Problems. Her co-workers collectively agreed that she was more than just distracted and forced her to take a couple of days off after a simple rescue turned dangerous.
Uraraka spent those days thinking. Or rather, she didn't know what to think. There were too many factors in play this time - their careers, their tenuous non-relationship, their rocky past and impersonal present, their deep love for each other. She had no hold over him with this arrangement - this arrangement she hated but tolerated - and she couldn't quite tell him to wait for her. She wondered if it was worth the mental stress to stay friends with him, even if he started dating other people and then immediately wondered if she could even be friends with him if the idea of him dating other people instinctively sent her reeling.
She wondered if it was even worth it to keep him in her life, despite that being all she ever wanted with regards to him.
She never once wondered if Bakugou ever felt the same.
One weekend morning after a midnight rendezvous, Uraraka woke up and immediately came to the conclusion that it would be better for both of them if they cut everything off now. It made sense, it would be like a clean break. He would start anew in America and she would try to reset here in Japan. It would be hard at first, of course, but maybe it would be for the best in the long run.
She slapped her cheeks with trembling hands. It was decided.
Uraraka walked into the living room to find Bakugou sitting on her couch, and a meal for two spread out on her coffee table. She couldn't bring herself to sit down, so she just stood in front of him, playing with the hem of his shirt she used as a nightshirt. He grinned as he playfully tried to get her to meet his eyes.
Bakugou, I was thinking…
Hm?
Maybe… Maybe when you go to America, maybe we should just … maybe we shouldn't talk anymore.
...What?
I was thinking and you're going to be there for so long and we're going to be so far apart. What if you meet someone and… I'm just so anxious and it's not fair to you if I can't be a good friend and I let my anxieties affect you -
You don't think I'm anxious, too? You don't think I'm scared out of my mind to not see you, be around you for literal years? You don't think I want to be with you more than anything, but it's just… circumstance?
I … didn't. I didn't know. But! Then wouldn't it be better if we just… cut off contact if you're also feeling -
Stupid.
He cupped her face with both hands, regarded her teary eyes and her quivering bottom lip, and kissed her deeply. There was no clacking of teeth or bumping of noses or floating up to the ceiling. Uraraka kissed him back, willing herself not to break down right then and there, and hugged him to her as tightly as possible.
He hadn't given her a straightforward answer and she was secretly relieved that he was as equally averse to her proposal as she was. She couldn't let go. Emotionally and physically.
Then they started floating.
Laughing, they untangled themselves and agreed that they should maybe eat before the food got cold. As he left, Uraraka smiled at him, brows still furrowed slightly, tears spilling down her cheeks. He sighed and pressed his lips to her forehead.
I love you. Don't forget that. Stupid.
Bakugou pressed another gentle kiss to her lips and left her apartment. Uraraka went back to bed - as it was her day off - and dreamt of Bakugou, propelled by explosions, soaring over the ocean en route to the United States.
That was their last kiss.
The last time Bakugou and Uraraka said "I love you" was also the last time they saw each other.
A sad truth about the world is that there are people out there who love each other deeply, who will always love each other and never stop loving each other. But they will never manage to be together no matter how hard or how much they try. Whether due to fundamental differences or unforeseen circumstances or something as simple as timing, they were not meant to be together.
Bakugou and Uraraka desperately did not want to be these people.
But the world is cruel and unfair and does not care for the wishes of people.
Bakugou was in America for four years. The exchange assignment had allowed him to get a college degree and so he did. The stress of it all - culture shock, learning English, college, and working as a hero in unfamiliar surroundings with unfamiliar people - as well as Bakugou's everlasting goal to be the best at everything he did, had him spiraling and burning out earlier than anticipated.
He didn't cut off contact with Uraraka. Selfishly, maybe, because he needed a semblance of a support system while he was alone across the ocean.
And it wasn't like Uraraka minded much either. She had been holding out on messaging him until he was comfortable, adjusted. The anticipation was affecting her more than she cared to admit. So when he finally did message, she just about launched herself into the stratosphere.
But in that first year, sometimes Bakugou took his anger out on Uraraka. He didn't want to nor did he mean to, but the combination of constant stress and the distance was honestly too much for him. They'd learned over the years that they weren't great at texting and they'd learned in recent months that the time difference was less than ideal for phone calls or video calls. It took all of his impulse control from buying a one-way ticket back to Japan every time something went wrong.
The fact that she had considered cutting off contact still weighed heavy on his mind. He brought this up frequently, every time they fought. She countered back with the fact that he did leave her - and broke off an engagement - without any warning, all those months ago outside the hospital.
Conversely, Uraraka had been doing her best to keep her anxiety about the distance under wraps, but it was always there, bubbling under the surface. It sometimes spilled over in small, subtle ways that Bakugou found he could no longer handle.
Every time she ended their conversations with Good luck with everything, it was laced with so much residual venom from the first time he'd said it to her, laced with the threat that she might and could leave anytime. Bakugou started instinctively wincing at the phrase, no matter who said it, no matter the intentions behind it.
Sometimes he couldn't decide if her lack of response was due to the time difference or her being busy or her ignoring him. And he hated himself for even worrying about something as trivial as that. So many trivial things were taking up so much of his time and mental energy. So many trivial things that had never mattered before seemed to matter so much now.
Uraraka couldn't handle Bakugou's anger either. It was hard to read his mood over text and his mannerisms over phone or video call were curt and blunt. He snapped at nearly everything. She hardly knew how to react to him anymore, much less how to interact with him.
When he was angry, he usually found fault with what she did or said, but never her as a person. But now his angry outbursts were more directed, more personal. They cut Uraraka to her very core and she was finding it difficult to brush them off as merely impulsive things said in the heat of the moment. They were starting to affect how she saw herself as a person.
Something was happening, something was changing, but whatever it was, they didn't know. Whatever it was, they had no choice but to accept that it was falling apart in front of their eyes and they couldn't fix it. There was no amount of time together or time away that would get them back to where they were before.
They didn't accept it complacently. After all, how could they? They were Bakugou Katsuki and Uraraka Ochako, the power couple of UA, always pushing each other to do the best, to be the best. But the mourning of their decaying relationship manifested as fiery fights on the phone, nights crying alone, and weeks ignoring each other.
With a majority of their small conversations eventually morphing into ugly arguments, Bakugou decided continued contact was not beneficial for either of them or their mental health. He told her they needed A Break. Uraraka protested at first, arguing that they'd gotten through this before, they just needed to try harder, set up more boundaries, talk through their issues. But after that didn't work, as expected, she then reluctantly agreed and acknowledged that she was being too selfish for either of them to be happy.
And at the end of the day, that's all they wanted - happiness, for themselves and each other.
What made this break different from the one they'd had after high school, they both wondered. Perhaps it was the physical distance. Perhaps it was because they'd endured nearly a decade of arguments and fights that were not getting better despite the communication, despite the boundaries, despite their love for each other. Perhaps they were tired of trying to navigate through the rollercoaster of their love life, through the ups that were absolutely fantastic, through the downs that happened too frequently to justify their damaged mental and emotional states.
Perhaps when they grew up, they grew apart.
So as the years went on, their text messages slowed from occasional I hope you're doing well, miss you and love you to the annual Happy birthday. Eventually, contact stopped altogether and they hadn't even realized it.
Another truth about the world, however, is that for some people, love may fade but never completely disappear. For some people, all it takes is seeing each other once more to feel the familiar warmth and comfort of an old love.
Bakugou and Uraraka learned this firsthand when they found themselves standing in front of each other for the first time in four years in a New York hotel lobby on the last day of an International Heroes Conference.
Time stopped. The rest of the world faded away.
There was so much they wanted to say, so much they wanted to do in that moment, but they couldn't bring themselves to move. It had been so long. There was a familiar sense of comfort, of safety in the other's mere presence, but it was overshadowed by an overwhelming wave of shock and heartache.
How did such an important person become a stranger? When did a break become forever? Realizing where they were, Uraraka snapped out of her stupor and invited him back to her room. He didn't decline.
So they sat on the couch, fumbling for the right words to say, trying to gauge the appropriate amount of physical distance. But as always, conversation managed to be easy and effortless and they found themselves talking about the conference.
Before it could get too personal, before they started catching up on each other's lives, Uraraka stopped. She couldn't do this again. They couldn't do this again. The cycle had to break at some point. Bakugou swallowed hard.
He proposed friendship, just friendship and nothing more. After all, it had been so long that they were practically strangers now. They could start over. But Uraraka shook her head. There was too much history between them, too many enduring feelings for them to ever be just friends. At least on her end.
Bakugou realized that might be true on his end as well. He realized he had never stopped loving her. And so he told her. He could never put her at ease with words and he couldn't quite provide a comforting touch as he had done before. So he looked into her eyes and hoped that with just one look, all of the love he harbored in his heart for her since their days at UA would somehow reach her.
Uraraka always understood Bakugou on a base level. So she knew exactly what he meant with that forlorn gaze and she let out a soft sound halfway between a sob and a laugh in response. All of the emotions she'd been suppressing, all of the resentment and grief and love threatened to spill out and suffocate her. This couldn't happen again. She couldn't let herself get swept up in this again.
Uraraka stood up suddenly and he followed suit. Bakugou's heart nearly beat through his chest. He knew what was coming next and he wasn't ready. He didn't think he'd ever be ready for this moment.
She didn't want this either. When it came to Bakugou, she was always torn between what she wanted and what she needed. When it came to Bakugou, she almost always conflated the two. But they were happier and healthier apart. The past few years were obvious, undeniable evidence of that.
So there they stood, a little too close than either of them cared to admit but still separated by the threshold of Uraraka's hotel room, desperately memorizing the details of each other's faces, desperately trying not to collapse into each other's arms again.
So…
Um…
I really don't want to leave.
I really don't want you to leave.
But I have to.
You should.
And we can't see each other.
I think we shouldn't.
That'd probably be for the best.
I … Bakugou…
Uraraka… I love you.
I love you, too. I love you so much.
I never stopped. And I never will.
Please don't say that now…
It's the truth. I will always love you.
They stood there, trembling, tears falling uncontrollably now. Bakugou gave her one last smile. For once, she couldn't read his expression. Maybe it was because the feel of her own heart breaking clouded every other rational thought in her mind. Maybe it was because even Bakugou couldn't discern his own emotions other than unbelievable sorrow.
Then he closed his eyes, breathed in deeply and disappeared down the hallway, head high, shoulders squared. He didn't look back.
Uraraka let out the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding in and closed the door without any lingering gazes down the hallway. She didn't shake, didn't collapse or cry.
That was their last "I love you."