Better Days

Chapter 336

Author's Note: The way they wrote this first half of the story is killing me. Jumping back and forth to find what I need, ack! Focus people, focus. Please review.

Mar, Tara, Ronnie, Joey and Rosita's POV:

Mar smiled across the bed to Rosita as Tara opened up her eyes. "Welcome back," Mar told her. "Ronnie, our patient has decided to stop being lazy and come into the world of the living."

Rosita and Tara both looked at Mar. "It's better then being part of the dead," Tara answered.

Rosita smiled. "Everyone is going to be so glad to hear that you are doing better," she told Tara as she squeezed her hand.

"How are you feeling Tara? Do you know what today is?" Ronnie asked.

Tara looked at her. "It's just another day where the dead won't stay dead?" she asked.

Rosita laughed. "That's our Tara."

Ronnie smiled. "Everyone was here, they took shifts. Jewel came and brought Judy with her, sat and talked to you. I couldn't get them to leave," she teased.

"We're family, that's what family does," Mar said as the door of the infirmary opened.

"Ronnie, we need you," Joey told them. He smiled as he saw Tara and walked over and kissed her on the top of the head. "Now this is a bright spot in a otherwise crappy night."

"Joey what's going on?" Mar asked.

"Daryl and Aaron are back they brought a couple people. Reg….he took Michonne's sword, he killed Reg. Deanna ordered Rick to kill Pete. Deanna's not wanting to let Reg out of her grip, Jewel's doing her best…." he trailed off.

"But she doesn't know how it is to like to lose a husband," Ronnie told him.

Joey nodded. "Mar why don't you go see Daryl, Rosita go take a break. I'll keep Tara company."

Ronnie nodded. "I'm going to go check on Deanna…this is the hard part."

"Isn't everything the hard part now a days?" Rosita asked.

Ronnie shook her head. "We've all lost people, we've all put people down that we've loved. But losing someone that you've spent most of your adult life with, your soul mate, it takes a lot to want to continuing living. A true part of you is truly gone, the best part of you."

Joey looked at her. "You thought about ending it didn't you? After the prison fell?"

Ronnie nodded. "I did, I probably would have if I didn't have all of you to worry and care for. Deanna's going to need us, not just her group, it has to be all of us."

"Sounds like I've missed out on a lot of excitement," Tara said.

"Don't worry, they'll be time to fill you in," Joey said as he watched the others leave.

Emily, Phoebe and Spencer's POV:

Emily took a breath as she stopped a few steps away from the gate.

"I can tell him, if you want me too," Phoebe offered.

"No, no, it needs to be me," Emily told her. "I mean I feel like I owe it to him you know?" she asked as she took a breath and walked toward the gate. "Spenser."

Spenser turned. "Em what are you doing out here? You should still be at the meeting."

"The meeting's over. Spense, something happened, something that I have to tell you," Emily told him.

Spenser looked down at her. "What happened? Did another of the dead get in?"

Emily shook her head and put her hands on Spenser's cheeks. "I…I'm so sorry Spense. Pete he came in and he killed Reg…." she started to explain.

Spenser looked at her. "Dad….no, he was just there…." he sputtered.

Phoebe came forward. "I'll take over on the gate, your mother and sister needs you Spenser. Quinn still needs to tell her girls, and your mom needs you."

"How can this be happening?" Spense asked as he took Emily's hands off his cheeks. "First Aiden, now dad….." he said as he started pacing.

"Spenser, stop. Listen to me," Phoebe told him. "You can ask yourself ten thousand different version of that question and you won't get any satisfying answers. It'll just drive you crazy. You can blame yourself for not checking on the gate, trusting Gabriel, I mean he is a priest, you'd think he'd be able to handle closing a gate door. But, this isn't your fault. Right now, I know you want to crumple down, grab your hair and curse out what ever God is up there putting us through this living hell. I know it's tempting, I know you feel so numb right now that you can't think straight. But, you have people counting on you, a mother who just saw her husband on nearly forty years, die in her arms. She's going to need all of us, but she's most defiantly going to need you and Quinn. Go back with Emily, and I'll guard the gate."

Ronnie and Jewel's POV:

Jewel had managed to convince Quinn to go home and get cleaned up and prepare to tell Chloe and Brianna of Reg's death. She looked at Abraham and David, who were both ready to take Reg's body as soon as Deanna would let it go. She saw Ronnie approach them and got up as Ronnie motioned her over.

"How is she?" Ronnie questioned.

"About as good as can be expected. I can't get her to let go of his body," Jewel said.

"She's not ready just yet. Tara's awake," Ronnie told her.

"That's good, that's real good," Jewel answered as she kept her eyes on Deanna.

"Go get cleaned up, go read a bedtime story to Judith, take a bath, rock Hope to sleep. You did your part, I've got this," Ronnie answered.

Jewel looked at her. "I promised her I'd stay with her."

Ronnie put her hand on the other woman's shoulder. "Hershel always told us we each had jobs to do, right?"

Jewel nodded. "Yes."

"You've done your job. You've made these people wake up and smell the rotting corpses. You've made sure that Spenser got told about his father, you made sure Pete's body got taken out, you've done what you can. Now, it's my turn. Go home, be with Rick, welcome Daryl back home. Go, I've got this," Quinn told her as she watched the other woman walk away. Quinn took a breath and sat down beside Deanna. "I know nothing that I can say will make it hurt less. Reg was the love of your life, now it's lie only half of your heart is beating," she told her. "I still look over my shoulder, thinking I smell Ridge's cologne from before the fall. Or turn a corner and swear that Kim and Ridge are there laughing over something, just like before she graduated high school. You're going to have times that it feels like Reg and Aiden are still right here with you, Deanna, that they are present in the room and that's normal," she assured her. "But right now, you have to let Abe and David take him and lay him to rest. This is just his body, not him. They'll take good care of him, or I'll kick them in the behind," she said as she nodded at them as she held Deanna's hands. She embraced the other woman.

"I can't live…without him," Deanna said as she cried.

"Yes, yes you can, and you will. I won't promise you it'll be easy. It's going to be the opposite of easy," she said as Abe and David went to move the body. "It's going to be the hardest thing you've ever done in this life. There are going to be days that you won't want to go on," Ronnie told her with tears in her eyes. "That you'll just want to stand at an upcoming horde of walkers' and let it be over. That's the easiest way out, the hard part is to find something to live for. One thing at a time, one day at a time. You have you children who need you, your granddaughter. You live for them. Then, you live for the people of this town."

Deanna shook her head. "This town doesn't need me, it needs Rick and Jewel," she said, her body shaking with grief.

"This town needs you and Rick. Do you think that your group is going to fall into line behind Rick? No they are going to need you to guide them. I know all you want to do is crawl into bed and not get up," Ronnie told her. "But in this world, you don't get that chance, because it's one thing after another. After Ridge died and the prison fell, all I wanted to do was go in the court yard of the prison and get torn apart by walkers', because it couldn't hurt anymore then the grief I was feeling right at that moment. I wanted to see my daughter again, be with my husband, but then I stopped and thought about what Ridge would have wanted. He wouldn't want me to give up, I was a doctor and Jewel was out there ready to give birth, I lived for her and Hope. Then when we got to Terminus and locked in that train car, I didn't want to die that way, so I fought. Then Jewel got sick with an infection, and I lived to take care of her, and Hope. It just became one thing for another that I lived for, and now I don't have as many bad days," she told the other woman as she held on to her.

"Mom," Spense said as he went over to her and bent down.

Ronnie let Deanna go. "Take her home, Spenser. Emily can you go with them? I'd rather them not be alone."

"Of course," Emily said as she helped Spenser with Deanna.

"I'll be over to check in a bit," Ronnie told them. She gave Deanna one last hug as Spenser and Emily walked away. She wiped her eyes as she looked at the blood stain.

Jewel's POV:

Jewel walked back to the house and saw Ron slam the door of his house behind him and storm off. She looked back at the house then at Ron. She followed him. "Ron," Jewel called off after him.

Ron turned. "What do you want? Haven't you and your husband done enough? He killed my dad. Are you going to try and tell me that somehow he deserved it?" he asked.

"I know that this…" Jewel told him calmly.

"You don't know shit! You come in here and you all act like you're better then all of us. You pretend that you give a crap about us, but then you stand by and watch Rick kill my dad. You don't know my dad, you don't know me, so don't try to tell me that this is hard," Ron yelled at her.

Jewel remained calm and looked at him. "I know you Ron, because I was you. You can't lift your arm half way over your head. He grabbed you while you were protecting your mom and twisted so hard that it popped it out of place. You know what we called that at the hospital? The child abuse injury. How many times have you told Sam to run upstairs and hide to keep your dad's anger away from him? How many times have you wished that you just could protect your mother, that you could sneak into his room at night and kill him? Have you thought of how you'd do it? What kind of weapon you'd use? I had my dad's murder planned, it was one of my favorite things to do as a girl, after a beating so bad that the skin was coming off my back. Or when I was bandaging Daryl's back because he interfered between dad and me. I'd go out back every day after school, and there was this tree, it was twisted, mostly dead, hit by lightening more times then you can count, and I'd take an old piece of paper or sometimes a animal that my brothers' and I killed, and I would throw knives at it over and over. Every day, the same tree, and I'd imagine it was my father that I was throwing that knife at. I'd be out there, away from the house, where he couldn't see me and I'd here him and his drunk friends getting drunker and swearing up a storm, and I'd throw knives at that tree and would dream of going in there and taking him out in his sleep. Merle came home one day, and he found me out there. He tanned my hide good for even thinking it. He told me he wasn't coming to visit his eight year old sister in juvie for murder. That he wasn't worth the time or energy. But, I just wanted it to stop. He told me the one good piece of advice that he gave me when I was a kid, that one day, I'd find myself seeing someone else doing to his kids that daddy was doing to us, and then that was the day I didn't turn my back on it. No one helped us, but I could help someone else. Rick and I did what everyone else in this town should have done from the beginning, but they turned they're back's on you, on Sam, and your mom. Every beating she took from the time that this town was established, is on them. You shouldn't be mad at me and Rick for standing up to him, for trying to protect your mother, protecting you and Sam, you should realize how lucky you had someone care. You're mad, he was your father. You're trying to see some good in him, and maybe he did at one point, but the man he was now didn't have any good in him. He killed Reg in cold blood, and there is no excuse in that. I'm not going to apologize to you Ron for doing the right thing. You can be mad at me, you can curse me, you can blame me. But you're alive to do all those things. Your mom is alive and Sam is alive. I'd rather you be alive and look at me like you want me dead, then be standing over your grave wondering what I could do. By the way, you're glare needs work. You're mother and brother need you. This is the time you decide what kind of man you are Ron. That's what you are Ron, you are a man. In this world, you're a man and now it's time to act like one and take care of your family. You are going to be a better man then your father Ron, you are going to protect your mom and Sam, like you tried to before," Jewel said as she turned to walk away.

"I'm never going to say thank you," Ron hissed at her.

"I don't want your thanks, you hating me is good enough because it tells me you're alive," Jewel told him as she walked back to the house.