"So the good news is that your blood tests all came back normal," Dr. Torres said and then looked back down at the chart, "And your MRI was normal as well. It looks like the infection is only at the skin."

"That's good," I smiled tiredly.

It had been quite the night.

Dr. Torres nodded, "That's right, it is good."

There was a moment of silence that followed since I had nothing else to say. Dr. Torres looked like she wanted to say something else, to keep going, maybe bring up my mother again.

Instead, though, she told me to rest up and left the room.

Fine by me, I didn't want to talk about it. Plus, it bought me more time to come up with a reason why my mother couldn't come and discharge me this time because clearly I wasn't done with lying just yet.

I laid back against the hospital bed, looking up at the ceiling.

Would the doctors believe me if I told them that my mom had been eaten by a bunch of rabid alligators?

Probably not.

It seemed like every excuse I could think of though seemed just as far-fetched as the alligator one, which made me frustrated.

Then the fact that I was frustrated because of something like this made me mad at myself.

Mad that I lived and the other people on the bus didn't.

If I had died, it would have caused less harm than any one of them, because I was sure that they had families who were now grieving, and mine wouldn't have cared less if I were in their shoes.

It should have been me.

...

"Can we get a dog?"

I looked over at Stella, confused.

We were sitting on the couch in the living room. I was trying to study for the algebra test that I had tomorrow and Stella had been playing with her dolls so this question came rather out of the blue.

"What made you think of that?" I asked, setting my pencil down for a moment.

Stella shrugged, "Elyse just got a puppy. His name is Toby and he's super cute."

"Oh, was he the puppy you were playing with after school today?" I remembered Stella with the poodle puppy from earlier.

Stella nodded, "Yeah, that's Toby."

"You know, if I could Stella, I would totally get a dog," I told her, being completely truthful, "But I don't think I can take care of a dog."

Stella pouted slightly, "But I can help. I can walk it, and feed it, and give it water..."

"I know you can Stell-Bell," I said, "But what I mean is I don't think I'll have enough money to buy the food for you to feed it and what if the dog gets sick? You have to pay for the dog doctor to fix him."

"Okay..." Stella looked bummed but she genuinely sounded like she understood why we couldn't get a dog.

"Maybe when we get more money," I knew I shouldn't make promises I couldn't keep.

Stella nodded, "Yeah...okay."

...

When I initially woke up, I had forgotten where I was. However, I was quickly reminded when I saw all the equipment around me.

I gave an exhausted yawn as I tried to figure out what to do now.

As awful as it was, being back here, I was glad I wasn't out on the streets like the night before. At least here it was warm and I knew that nobody would touch my backpack which was tossed on the chair in the corner or steal my crutches that were leaned on the empty wall.

I thought that I would have more time alone but it didn't take very long before nurses started bustling in and out of my room, taking vitals and checking the IV bag.

I knew what was coming up next.

But I didn't.

I thought that Dr. Robbins was going to be the next person to enter the room but it was actually Dr. Karev.

"So," Dr. Karev looked down at the chart really quick, "Stella...surgical site infection. How're you feeling?"

"Are you an intern?" I blurted out, completely ignoring his question.

Dr. Karev snorted and walked in and around to next to my bed, "No way."

"But aren't interns the ones who read off all the information to the doctors," I asked, "Like the other day when you told Dr. Robbins all about me."

"Yeah, that took me off guard as well," Dr. Karev admitted, "But I guess because she's the head of Peds and I'm just a resident there's some kind of hierarchy."

I nodded, "I see."

"So back to my question, how are you feeling?" Dr. Karev looked at me, expecting an answer this time.

"Fine," I responded honestly, "Can I go?"

"It looks like it," Dr. Karev replied, looking back at the chart again, "I'll have to talk to Dr. Torres since she's also your doctor but everything looks good. Can I take a look at your knee?"

I shrugged, "Sure."

Dr. Karev unwrapped the dressing around it and looked at my knee, just like all the other doctors that have done that.

"It looks like the swelling is going down," He commented and started to wrap the knee back up again, "And less pus too."

"Great," I smiled, "So I can go now right?"

"Well, you need a parent to discharge you," Dr. Karev finally said the words I dreaded to hear.

My smile faltered and I slumped back against the hospital bed.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to call anyone," Dr. Karev said, "But I'm going to guess that the answer is no."

I didn't say anything because I didn't want to confirm any of their thoughts. None.

"Okay then," Dr. Karev nodded slowly, "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Take your time, I wanted to say, but I didn't. I kept my mouth shut and let my mind run wild.

The last time I was in a hospital bed, I contemplated running away so of course, I would contemplate that idea again. Though, this time, I might actually do it since there was no way I would convince my mother to come back and discharge me.

The first time was bad enough, I didn't need a repeat of that. I didn't want a repeat of that and I was positive that my mother didn't either.

"Well, good morning!" Dr. Torres smiled as she walked into my hospital room.

I smiled back weakly, "Hi..."

"Okay, I'm just going to get to the point," She said and picked up my backpack off the chair and set it down on the floor. Dr. Torres then took a seat on the chair and crossed her legs.

I nodded, "Alright then..."

"Why can't your mother come and discharge you?" Dr. Torres asked, "And I want the truth."

I was going to lie. I was all prepared to just blurt something out, anything. Even the alligator excuse was on the table.

But I didn't.

Why?

Maybe it was because I knew my eyes would give it away or maybe it was because I was tired of lying. It could have even been a mixture of both. Whatever the reason though, I didn't lie.

"She hates me," I said, "She's a drug addict and she hates me. I could barely get her to come and discharge me last time and when we got out of the hospital, she basically told me she never wanted to see me again, so I don't think I'm going to get her to come this time."

"And that's the truth?" Dr. Torres asked, even though she looked like she believed me.

I nodded, "Unfortunately."

"Alright," Dr. Torres slowly stood up, "We will figure things out Stella, I promise."

"Okay," I whispered.

As great as it was that I told the truth and despite how relieved I felt, I also regretted it. Now, what was going to happen?

I could feel the tears threatening to escape the corners of my eyes but I forced them to stay put and waited until both doctors left the room. Once they left though, I broke down, unable to contain everything inside me.