Chapter Five

I let out a heavy sigh. "I always expected you to be the type of person to keep to yourself, but I'm not like that. Silence drives me bonkers. Can we just chat about anything? I don't care if you want to sit here and tell me how dumb everyone in my year is, but I can't just sit and focus on a book or school work. I need conversation. Please?"

"It's been a long day for me, Ginny. I didn't expect to have to entertain you."

I shrugged. "I know, sir, but I have spent almost two days here with really very little conversation. I grew up in a house with eight other people. Honestly, the quiet creeps me out."

"What could we possibly have in common to talk about?"

"I don't know. Maybe you could tell me if Percy drove you up the wall like he does everyone else?

"Why are you reading a Muggle book?"

"Hermione gave it to me as a birthday gift. Really, she left it for me to find."

"Your brother Ron isn't really sick, is he?" His black eyes stared at me. I sat staring back, not answering. He smiled at me for the first time. "Ginny, you are smart. Just as I can't tell you things, there are things that are best if you do tell me. Tell me about your book."

"It's a Muggle classic about a girl in the American South set around their civil war time. She is kind of a bitch. I guess the story is a classic for Muggles, at least."

"Are you enjoying it?" he asked.

"It's a better way to pass the time than a history class." Snape smiled again. "Between the wars, when He was gone, what did you do in your spare time?"

He seemed surprised by my question. "What do you mean?"

"Well, sir, I never really thought about professors and their personal time before, but I'm pretty sure that you don't spend every minute grading papers and making lesson plans, or making potions. We all know how badly you wanted to teach DADA, so I'm guessing Potions isn't your passion. So what do you do for fun?"

"I wanted to teach Defense because one needs to truly understand what they are facing to defend themselves. With a professor who understands the mindset of those one would be defending themselves against, they would stand a better chance. But I do enjoy potions very much; too much, really. There are reasons I look like I look, like spending as much time over a cauldron as I do causes my hair to look greasy."

"But otherwise, what do you like to do?" I push. There had to be more to this man than DADA and Potions.

He looked at me for a long moment. "I enjoy reading, gardening. and I swim."

"I love fresh peas from the garden! What do you like to grow?"

"My own potion ingredients. That way, I have control over the quality."

"That makes sense. Control is a big thing for you, isn't it?" I asked.

He nodded. "My choices in life have limited much of my own control, so having it where I can is important to me."

"That makes sense too. Can I ask you something?" He didn't object. "Most people think I have very few memories of my time with Tom, but I recall all of it. It was like a dream where you're doing things, but you can't control your own self. I have wondered for so long; do you think he remembers me now?"

Snape surprised me with his reply. "Do you want him to?"

"I think I want the person I thought he was at first to remember me, but at the end, of course not."

He smiled at me. "Ginny, you were a child. Don't feel bad about not realizing he was using you. Trust me, more people than you know have fallen for his act, and I understand his form looked like a sixteen year old, but I think somehow he was connected to his older self. To answer your question, I suspect he does recall you, which is part of the reason we need to keep you from having to come face to face with him. To that point, there are some other images that He should find in my mind."

"Like what?"

"Basking in the afterglow of sex," he stated.

"Uhm..."

Severus Snape snickered at me. "I take it you don't realise what that is."

I turned beet red. "I think I do, but there was a time I thought oral sex was talking while having sex!" When I get nervous, I get verbal diarrhea.

He looked down like he was shocked anyone could be so dumb. "So, it's like cuddling and stuff after, right?"

"That's correct," he stated. "We would need to appear naked and there would need to be physical contact. Can you handle that?"

"In for a penny, in for a pound," I said and shrugged. I was surprised he seemed to know what I meant. "When I finish my book, do you mind if I read something off the shelf in your room?"

"Clearly, you didn't take in the fact they are all reference books," he said rather snively at me.

"I was being respectful and not snooping about in your personal space."

"That shows you have class Ginny, unlike you boyfriend," he jabbed at Harry.

"He's not my boyfriend," I stated.

Snape looked surprised at this. "Hmm."

That was the second most unlike Snape thing I have seen him do. "What?"

"Did you or he end things?" he asked.

"I knew it was coming. I wasn't even surprised. I guess that makes me a bit pathetic that I didn't end things first," I confessed.

"You're better off without him. Safer, at least."

"Doesn't change the fact that it hurt. I had feelings for him forever, and then…" I stopped myself.

He looked at me for a long moment without saying a word.

I couldn't handle the quiet and his stare. "So, these memories of 'afterglow;' do you want to take care of that tonight?"

"The sooner, the better."

"I need to look naked. Okay, I'll go and get ready, I guess." I made my way to the bathroom and removed my top and bottoms. I was thankful my knickers were flesh toned. I Transfigured a face cloth into a tube top and took a look at myself. "It's now or never," I muttered to myself and opened the door. The bed looked like it had been used and Snape was in his black boxers.

His skin was kind of sallow. His frame was solid, but not flabby; I think toned was the word for it. There was some hair on his chest, but there were NO man boobs; just nice pectoral muscles. I hadn't taken note of his body that night because there was something that needed to happen.

"Um, grab a pair of your clean knickers and give them here," he requested. I was surprised to hear him say this, but did as I was asked. As I handed them to him, he said, "It's about setting the scene." He tossed them on to the foot of the bed. "Your bra," he requested next.

I felt really odd handing my bra to him. He draped it over the one post of the bed, then looked at me. "Come here." I stepped closer and he reached up to my hair. It was an oddly intimate moment as he messed up my hair. As he dropped his hands from my hair, he spoke again, "Climb into bed and remember; to make this look real, you have to pretend you enjoy touching me and being touched back."

"I'll be very believable, sir." I climbed in and did my best to hide my top under the sheet. Snape then climbed on the bed and instantly pulled me into an embrace! He lowered his lips to mine and kissed me thoroughly. I could feel his hands running along my body. I did the same to him.

As he pulled back from the kiss, he spoke in a gentler tone than I was used to, "You're amazing."

I put a coy, little smile on my face. "That was earth shattering," I cooed back to him. He laid down on his pillow and I chose to do something I saw in a Muggle tv show and rested my head on his shoulder and played with the hair on his chest. We lay like that for a few minutes with his one arm wrapped around me. Suddenly, his hand cupped my cheek, he hissed, and pulled back.

"I have to go!" He jumped out of bed and was dressing in record time. I admit he looked rather intimidating in his Death Eater robes, compared to his normal self. "Don't wait up."

I nodded. "Stay safe," I instructed.

The next morning, Snape was either not back yet or gone already, I'm not sure which. When he did return, he spoke not a word, but headed straight to the bathroom and shut the door. Some time later, he came out and headed into his office without a single word to me. He closed the door firmly.

I realised that it was Dec 22nd and I was about to celebrate my first Christmas without a single family member! The idea hurt. People aren't meant to be alone on the holidays. I didn't see him again for the rest of the day. I finished a large chunk of my homework and reached the halfway point in my book. Each time I started to feel sorry for myself, I would think about the chores Mum would have given me in whatever place they were staying at. It was kind of nice to be able to focus on me and just me.