A/N: This oneshot is the result of an ask sent by one of my followers on AO3 and Tumblr, and takes place after Despair Arc Chapter Eight of HIMYM, but before Despair Arc Chapter Nine of HIMYM. Please read and review, and enjoy!

The Ultimate Detective and The Ultimate Hope Gaiden: UNO in the Shelter!

"Man, I'm bored!" Leon complained, stretching his arms above his head as he leaned back in his chair at the dinner table he was currently sharing with Sayaka, Makoto, and Kyoko.

The other three frowned, sharing his sentiment. After Makoto and Sayaka had both healed from their respective breakdowns, things had been rather quiet in the shelter. Everyone did their best to occupy themselves with what they had, but there was no doubt in their minds that they were all bored.

If only there was something we could all play together. Let's see. What could we play together? Wait…not even Kyoko has played that game before! U…N…O…Now I understand! A small smile on his face, Makoto suggested "Hey, what about a game of UNO?"

Kyoko's eyebrows furrowed as she asked "UNO? What's UNO?"

"It's a popular card game whose name is derived from the Spanish word for one." They all turned to see Celeste walking over to them with Hifumi in tow, a smile on her face as she apologized "I apologize, but I couldn't help but overhear. The truth is that I miss playing the card games from my underground gambling circuit, and even if UNO isn't poker, I confess I might enjoy winning bragging rights from the lot of you in a game of chance again."

As Celeste giggled, the two couples sweatdropped before Makoto nodded "Well, I don't have any particular issue with you joining us, Celeste. What about the rest of you? You game?"

Kyoko nodded with a smile "I suppose I wouldn't mind a casual game. Besides, regardless of who wins, it should be fun. I will need you to teach me the rules though."

As Makoto nodded, Sayaka agreed "Sure, I wouldn't mind a game. What about you, Leon?"

Leon grinned and exclaimed "Hey, at least it's something to do, even if Celeste just laughs in our faces."

Nodding, Makoto asked "What about you, Hifumi? You game?"

Shakign his head, Hifumi declared "My apologies, Mister Naegi, but I cannot be in a position where I'm competing against Miss Ludenberg. I will come for emotional support however!"

Celeste giggled "You have my gratitude, Hifumi. So, do any of you have a deck of UNO cards?"

Makoto stood up and answered "I saw a deck in the game room one time. I can run up and bring it down so we can play at the larger dinner table over there."

Kyoko nodded "That should be acceptable."

Makoto grinned and exclaimed "Great! I'll be right back!" before jogging out of the Dining Hall to the Game Room.

XXX

"So, what are the rules?" Kyoko asked as they sat at the dinner table, the Ultimate Detective sitting at Makoto's left, followed by Sayaka, Leon, and finally Celeste at Makoto's right.

Makoto nodded as he explained "So, each player gets dealt seven cards. Each player has to put down a card from their hand that's either the same number or color as the one on the top of the discard pile. Players take turns in a clockwise fashion starting from the dealer's left."

"I see…so I would be going first under standard rules, correct?" At Makoto's nod, Kyoko asked "And what colors are there?"

"So the four main colors are blue, green, red, and yellow. And there are some special cards as well." Seeing Kyoko's curious expression, Makoto explained "So the first kind of special card is a SKIP card."

Makoto held up a red card with a circle in the center, a single diagonal line running across its diameter.

"So, when someone plays a SKIP card, it skips the next player's turn. There are also REVERSE cards as well." Makoto held up a yellow card with a curved double arrow as he explained "When someone plays a REVERSE card, it switches the turn order, so if I played a REVERSE card, then the player order would be Celeste, Leon, Sayaka, you, and then me. And it would stay that way until someone plays another REVERSE card."

Kyoko nodded "I see…is that all?"

Makoto shook his head and held up a black card with a circle divided into four equal sections, colored red, blue, green, and yellow.

"This is a WILD card. Whoever draws it can change the color of the card the next player has to put down to whatever they want. There are two varieties of WILD cards. This one here is a standard WILD, and can be played even if you can make another move."

Makoto held up another black card that had four red, blue, green, and yellow rectangles on it as well as a white +4 printed on it.

"This is a DRAW FOUR WILD, and it can only be played if you have no other moves to make. Basically, in addition to being a regular WILD card, it makes it so that the next player has to draw four cards from the deck and forfeit their turn."

"I see…" Kyoko nodded "And are there other cards that make a player draw extra cards?"

Makoto nodded and held out a green card with two same colored rectangles and a white +2 printed on it as he explained "This is the last kind of special card; a DRAW TWO card. Like its name suggests, it forces the next player to draw two cards and forfeit their turn."

Kyoko nodded before asking "And what's the goal of this game?"

"So, once you have one card left in your hand, you call out UNO. If you fail to do so, you have to draw four more cards. After that, once you get your hand down to zero cards, you win. In a game with more than two players, the other players usually keep playing until there's only one player left with cards in their hand."

"I see…and what if you can't play a card from your hand?"

"Well, in that case you have to draw a new card from the deck. If you can play that card, you have to play it. Otherwise, you forfeit your turn and the next player goes. Did I uh…explain everything alright?"

Kyoko nodded "Yes, I think I get it. So, I go first after you shuffle, right?"

Makoto nodded as he began shuffling the deck, dealing each of them seven cards once he was done. Kyoko picked up her cards and looked at them, making sure to shield them from view, even from Makoto.

Makoto then flipped the top card of the deck and announced "Alright, so the first card is a green seven. Your turn Kyoko!"

Alright, so the next card I play has to be either a green, a seven, or a WILD. Let's see… Smiling and letting herself enjoy the game like Hana had taught her, she took the middle card and plopped it down, declaring "Green Five."

XXX

"Green seven, and UNO!" Celeste smirked as she eyed the last card in her hand. "And it looks like you each have at least two cards in your hands. So it looks like the Ultimate Gambler will once again eke out a victory."

"No thanks to Makoto skipping my turn a handful of times." Kyoko commented in a feigned hurt tone.

"Kyoko, it's not like that…" Makoto tried to reassure her.

"Not to mention how Leon reversed the turn order and made me draw more cards." Sayaka complained, shooting Leon a fake glare.

"Hey, come on babe! It's just how the game is played!"

As Kyoko and Sayaka giggled at how their boyfriends were squirming in their seats from how they teased them, Hifumi gushed "You're amazing, Miss Ludenberg! Your aptitude for luck-based card games is unbeatable."

"Thank you, Hifumi. You're too kind…" Celeste giggled, making the other players sweatdrop.

Makoto sighed with Leon in relief before he played a card, declaring in a monotone voice "Green Five. UNO."

Kyoko smirked as she played one of the cards in her hand and announced "Green Reverse. I believe it's Makoto's turn again, Celeste. Now what was that you were saying about eking out a victory?"

A vein pulsed in Celeste's head as she started to sweat, for once nervous about the outcome of a game before she took a deep breath and reasoned Calm down, Celestia. So what if Makoto only has one card in his hand? He needs either a green or a reverse to win, and the odds of having one of those are…

Makoto grinned as he declared "Draw Four Wild! I pick Red!"

Kyoko smiled as she declared "And that puts Makoto in first place."

"Miss…Miss Ludenberg LOST! SAYWHAAAAAAAT?!" Hifumi screeched, only adding onto Celeste's shock.

I…impossible…I'm the…I'm the Ultimate Gambler…I…calm down, Celestia. This isn't even a real gamble. Nothing's at stake, it's just a harmless little game. Celeste took a deep breath and smiled, nodding "I suppose it was natural for the Ultimate Lucky Student to win a game of luck eventually. Well played, Makoto."

Makoto nodded respectfully and replied "Thanks; you as well, Celeste. Honestly if Kyoko hadn't played that reverse card, I likely wouldn't have been able to beat you. Thanks, Kyoko."

Kyoko smiled and replied "You're welcome, Makoto. Even if I didn't get first place, I enjoyed playing with you."

As Makoto nodded and scooted behind Kyoko, Celeste reluctantly admitted "I suppose I should draw my four cards now…" Once she finished drawing her four cards, she commented "Well, my turn is forfeit, so I believe it's your turn, Leon."

"Don't worry, Miss Ludenberg! You'll get second place for sure!" Hifumi cheered as Leon made his next move.

"Red One."

XXX

"Blue Reverse, and once again, UNO." Celeste smiled as she returned the turn order back to normal.

Kyoko glanced at her hand and sighed before playing one of her cards and declaring in a monotone voice "Blue Six, and UNO."

Sayaka went next, picking a card from her hand and announcing "Yellow Six."

Celeste smirked as she looked at her hand, thinking Excellent, that was just what I needed. My final card is a Yellow Draw Two. As long as Leon's next move doesn't change the color, I have second place in the bag! I still would have preferred to trounce Makoto and claim first prize, but c'est la vie, I suppose…

Leon grinned and played a single card from his hand, making Celeste's eyes widen in shock as he declared "Yellow SKIP! Your turn, Kyoko!"

Kyoko nodded, smiling gratefully at Leon as Celeste clutched her cards in nervousness again, thinking curses! Why that? I had this game in the bag! Now whether or not I get second place depends on Kyoko's last card! Please don't be a yellow card, please don't be a yellow card, please don't be a…

"Yellow Zero. And I believe second place goes to me." Kyoko declared, smirking at Celeste as Makoto smiled proudly at his girlfriend.

NOOOOOOOO! I WAS SO…Calm down, Celestia. It's just a game, it's just a game. Besides, Kyoko's your intellectual rival. Taking a deep breath, Celeste smiled politely and nodded "Well played, Kyoko. You bested me fair and square, no small feat…even if you did have help…"

Celeste shot a subtle glare at Leon, who merely grinned and rubbed the back of his neck.

She sighed and moved on "Alright…Sayaka, I believe it's your turn next."

Slightly nervous, Hifumi uneasily assured her "Don't worry Miss Ludenberg. You'll surely get the br…bronze medal…"

Please Hifumi, I know you mean well, but at this stage your cheering is no longer welcome… Celeste thought as Sayaka picked up a card and frowned.

"Oh drat. Well, I guess I pass this turn. Alright Leon, your turn."

Leon drew a card and frowned, commenting "Me too. Alright Celeste, your turn."

Celeste internally sighed in relief and thought At least one turn where I can make some progress. Alright, let's go for third so I can end this match with at least some measure of dignity as a gambler. She placed her own card on the discard pile and announced "Blue Zero."

XXX

"Red Three."

"Red Nine."

"Green Nine." Celeste declared as she put down her card.

With only three players remaining, the game had gotten a lot more tense. Celeste had three cards in her hand, Sayaka had two, and Leon had four. For once, Celeste was cautious about her confidence, her unlucky streak making her realize that victory was far from certain.

Sayaka reached for her next card and declared "Yellow Nine, UNO."

Celeste sighed in relief under her breath, thinking Good, that was just what I needed. My hand includes a Green Six, a Red Three, and a DRAW FOUR WILD. Now that Sayaka changed the color to yellow, I can play my DRAW FOUR card next turn and change the color to green while making Sayaka draw four cards. And with Leon holding four cards himself, he won't be able to win this turn. Bronze medal, here I…

"Yellow Skip!" Leon grinned, Celeste barely holding back a gasp as her plan for victory was once more foiled.

Curses! Now I can't even take my turn! My only hope is the possibility that Sayaka doesn't have a…

"Yellow Five." Sayaka grinned as she placed her last card on the discard pile, smiling and giggling "I guess that means I get third place!"

Celeste seethed as she clutched her cards furiously, thinking Oh come on! Makoto I could chalk to getting lucky. Kyoko is a competent strategist I consider an equal, and she's dating Makoto, so his luck likely rubbed off on her. But SAYAKA MAIZONO? I lost to a POP IDOL?! I…it's just a game, Celestia. It's just…a…game… Celeste took several deep breaths, making the others frown before she gave a fragile, fake smile and congratulated "Well played, Sayaka."

Sayaka smiled and giggled "Thanks, Celeste. Though I couldn't have done it without Leon's help!"

"Hey, anything for you, babe!" Leon replied, grinning as Sayaka scooted her chair behind his and wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder.

After a minute of receiving affectionate gestures from his girlfriend, Leon turned his attention back to the game and commented "Alright…guess it's my turn now."

Seeing Celeste's incredibly nervous state, Hifumi hesitantly suggested "Ano…Mister Kuwata, I'd like to suggest an optimal strategy for you…let Miss Ludenberg win."

That was the last straw for Celeste, who merely turned her head and asked politely "Hifumi…are you implying that my chances of beating Leon are so low that I should beg and grovel for him to let me win?"

Hifumi gulped, backtracking "N…no, Miss Ludenberg. I…"

Losing all pretense of politeness, Celeste interrupted "Then I suggest that you shut up and let me play so I can wipe the grin off his smug face. Are we understood, Hifumi?"

Hifumi nodded energetically, stammering "Y…yes Miss Lu…Ludenberg."

Sighing, Celeste took a deep breath and regained her polite accent before she spoke "Alright, let's continue with the final round of the game. I believe it's your turn, Leon."

Leon nodded, sweatdropping as he took in Celeste's brief change in persona before he took two cards from his hand, placing them down as he announced "Yellow Draw Two and Yellow Four."

Celeste grumbled as she drew two cards before playing two cards of her own, announcing "DRAW FOUR WILD and Green Six. Your move, Leon." I am the Ultimate Gambler! I will not accept last place, especially not to an idiot jock like you, Leon Kuwata!

XXX

"Blue Nine."

"Green Nine."

"Green DRAW TWO. Green Seven."

"Red Seven."

"Red Four. UNO."

"Red DRAW TWO. Blue DRAW TWO. Blue Zero."

"Blue Draw Two. Blue Eight."

Celeste stared nervously at Leon as he drew his two cards, increasing his hand count to four. Celeste looked down at her own hand, holding a total of three cards.

A narrow lead…but not a comfortable one either. At least he doesn't have any other players left to give him a helping hand.

She watched as Leon took a card from his hand and placed it down, declaring "Green Eight."

Without missing a beat, she placed down a card and declared "Green Five."

"Blue Five."

"Blue Six."

"Yellow Six. UNO." Celeste declared as she smiled at the remaining card in her hand. My last card is a Yellow Zero. As long as Leon doesn't change the color on his next turn, my victory is ass…

"Yellow DRAW TWO. UNO." Leon grinned as Celeste gaped.

Oh no! Not that! Celeste trembled as she drew her two cards. Please, let his last card be something other than…

"And, DRAW FOUR WILD! I win!"

Celeste dropped her cards on the floor, staring in disbelief at the crowing Leon, who was being congratulated by Sayaka for beating the Ultimate Gambler.

I…I lost?! Celeste thought in disbelief. I lost?! When was the last time I was forced to utter such words? They hang heavy around my neck!

Celeste bit her lip, scowling under her hair as Makoto turned to her and congratulated. "Good game, Celeste. Thanks for playing with us…"

"…Not fair…"

"Huh?"

Celeste finally looked up at them, fury in her eyes as she screeched "IT'S NOT FAIR! I'M THE ULTIMATE GAMBLER! I REIGN SUPREME IN GAMES OF LUCK! YOU ALL MUST HAVE CHEATED! THERE'S NO WAY I WOULD HAVE COME IN LAST OTHERWISE!"

"Celeste, calm down! It's only a game." Makoto tried to reassure her, but to no avail.

"ONLY A GAME? ONLY A GAME?! WELL, NEWSFLASH NAEGI, BUT GAMES ARE MY LIFE! I'VE LITERALLY RISKED MY LIFE ON THESE GAMES!"

Sensing that Celeste was too angry to think logically, Hifumi suggested "Mister Naegi, might I suggest you and the others make a strategic retreat until Miss Ludenberg calms down?"

Makoto nodded, standing up along with Kyoko, Sayaka, and Leon as they ran out of the Dining Hall, Celeste screaming as Hifumi restrained her from behind "LET ME GO YOU USELESS TUB OF LARD! I HAVE TO MAKE THEM PAY FOR CHEATING ME!"

As they made sure to get as far away from Celeste's angry yells as possible, they learned a valuable lesson.

Never play games with Celeste, even if there's no gamble.