35

Late in the evening, Francis, not being able to sleep, goes downstairs to walk out his jumping nerves. However Frank is still awake, reading a newspaper. Seeing that Francis is awake, Frank chides Francis in to have a difficult conversation about Francis' career.

Halfway through, Arthur wakes up and sneaks downstairs to listen. While there are moments when he is about to interject, Arthur trusts to let Francis take the course. Francis states that what he wants as a career is not ambitious, and that is alright because a great career is not required to have a fulfilling life. A lack of financial trouble would be a great fit, but friends and family are what makes life fulfilling. Also, he'll move out to a smaller apartment while also searching for a smaller job. Frank reluctantly agrees.

36

Arthur sees Francis forgetting his house keys and so follows him. He is carrying a bouquet of lilies, and was meant to visit alone but changed his mind. They visit Lisa and Aife's graves and tell Arthur the story. Lisa, an American student, and he had met while he was studying at university, and they dated for a while. One year later, they became engaged, but things started to turn not as great. Their early dating days seemed to melt away, and conflicts arose because Lisa had only planned on studying in France for a short term before moving back to America. Lisa wanted Francis to move back to America with her, especially since Francis was fluent in English, but Francis declined, saying that he was doing perfectly fine in Paris, and did not want to go anywhere. Francis remembers that he said something that made Lisa storm out in the heat of the moment, but he could not remember what. He does know that Aife had seen Lisa in her condition, and Aife offered to take Lisa out on a drive to clear her mind. However, there was a truck that drifted off course and crashed into the car Aife and Lisa was in. Francis moved to London out of panic without even going to the funeral, since he had thought that if he had never said that one sentence, maybe Lisa and Aife would still be around. Arthur consoles with Francis about that. Francis then states that he had accepted that their death was out of his own control, that it happened out of the blue. After making sure that Francis was alright, Arthur allows Francis to spend some more personal time with their graves. Francis does and recollects his memories with Lisa.

"For a long time, I thought that their deaths were my fault."

Arthur looked at him. "Don't you think you're exaggerating the truth?"

Francis sighed. "Do you think you're ready?"

"I don't think I'm ready to be a hit-and-run guy, but otherwise I should be able to handle it."

Francis gave out a feeble smile, but otherwise it was gone, like a snowflake in the wind. Then he cleared his throat.

"It all started when Lisa asked for us to move to America. I declined, because I didn't want to move. This went on for months, because Lisa is a really determined woman. I was just as equally stubborn. One day, we had a fight over it. We knew that it was our future at stake.

"It drove Lisa to go away. My mother then offered to take Lisa on a drive to help clear her head. Talk with her, help figure out a conclusion. But then there was a truck that skidded and it crashed into their car. I was out having a drink with Antonio and Gil-" his throat hitched at his name, "yes, a drink, and then a few hours later I heard this message about how they find these two women in a car accident and they notified their next of kin. Their next of kin was me."

"I didn't attend their funeral. I was certain that it was me who killed them. If I haven't driven Lisa away, if I've listened to her and stayed calm, she and my mother would still be at home, and they never would have died. I was too irrational.

"Who would've known that truck would've skidded so far? So violently? Have you ever been terrified of how much even the smallest choices you make can change your life? If I could keep my mouth shut… maybe. Maybe they would still be here."

Francis glanced at Arthur. His jaw had gone slack when listening to this story. Francis realised that Arthur was the first person he had truly told this.

"What… did you say to her?"

Francis rubbed his forehead. "That she was better off dead."

Only the sound of the falling snow replied. "The things I do control… well. I've always felt like I've been too careless with them."

"Don't talk like that," Arthur whispered.

Eventually, Francis comes to terms with what had happened. Arthur manages to remind him that such a slim change is out of Francis' control. He had only caused Lisa and Aife to go out for a drive. If anything, it should be that truck driver who faces repercussions. Francis is still unsure. Arthur tries to change his anger into hope, and then asks Francis whether he believes in an afterlife. Francis states that his family is Catholic, even though they're non-practising, and he doesn't want the comforting thought that they're in Heaven to hide the fact that the last thing he said to them was wrong.

Arthur was here for him, and Francis understood that. Maybe Francis will never stop loving Lisa. But that did not mean that he should not move forward, and that did not mean Lisa would not want to see him live his life to the fullest.

Francis placed the ring onto the snow and let go.

37

They wander around Paris for the rest of the afternoon, creating new memories. Francis recognises locations as where Lisa and Aife's ghosts roam, but Arthur helps clear away these memories with new experiences.

38

Once they come home, Frank admits that he will miss Francis and that he missed Aife and Lisa too. Frank seemed to be so small. Frank recognises Francis as neither just an extension of himself nor Aife, but his own person.

39

They are on a train on the way home. Their carriage is empty, and only they are inside it. They reminisce their development over the last few years. Without Francis, Arthur would've never had the courage to keep on going, and without Arthur, neither would've Francis. They admit to each other that they've been very grateful to each other. Francis had given Arthur the courage to come back to Carroll. Arthur had given Francis the courage to come back to Paris. If they've never met each other, where would they be now?

"Remember when we first met? What a freakish gust of wind, blowing your folder away like that. You think we'd know each other if that didn't happen?"

Francis hummed, a gentle smile on his face. "Possibly not. But I'm grateful that it did happen. I'm glad I invited you to the bakery."

Arthur smiled, his stomach flipping chewed his bottom lip. "Remember how you're Angus' pen pal?" Arthur chuckled. "I doubted that I would've even gone to the wedding if that freakish coincidence didn't happen."

Would he have followed Arthur? But what did not matter as much was whether or not they had been there, what mattered was that it happened, and Francis was glad. "Oh…" Francis put his hand over his heart. "I went back to France! My dad has moved houses, he has a dog now, and he's alright with the fact that I'm working a minimum wage job. I've visited the graves of the two women I've loved the most, but I've accepted that."

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. "Holy fuck, my brother got married! I went back to Carroll! Peter's a teenager, I don't disown my family anymore, and they don't disown me. I've made peace with Angus the bloody cow!" He barked out a laugh. "We… we did those things! Oh Jesus Christ, we're going too fast, we're going too fast. How is this possible-!"

"I'm… I'm in Paris! No, we've been to Paris, and are coming back home now! I don't blame myself for my mother and Lisa's death anymore! My father knows where I stand!" Francis placed the back of his hand onto his forehead.

"All this because of a folder."

Francis laughed. "All this because of a gust of wind? No. None of this would not have been possible without either of us." And he smiled sweetly, the nighttime sky making his Autumn blue eyes glow.

"Oh shut up."

As the train slipped below the tunnel, their lips touched.

Francis's fingertips touched Arthur's. Arthur shrinked back, but then he reached forward and curled around his delicate fingers.

They were tired and sore after everything that had happened. But they will leave a kiss for each other, because that's the way it goes. They came back home to London at midnight, ready to start a new chapter in their lives.