It had been a pretty boring first three days of high school for Hachiman Hikigaya, and he had been happy about that; there had been few social interactions, manageable school work, and no physical confrontations. Currently, he was working on a Japanese Literature assignment his teacher Shizuka Hiratsuka had given his class, which was to write about what they did during their Spring Break. As he began writing down his name and the title for his assignment on a piece of paper, Hachiman couldn't help but smile due to the simplicity of the assignment. Just as he was about to write his essay, Hachiman was interrupted by someone he wished would just leave him alone; his classmate and gym partner, Yoshiteru Zaimokuza, who happened to be seated to the right side of Hachiman.
"Greetings, comrade Hachiman, how are you doing on this grand morning?," Yoshiteru asked.
Hachiman inwardly groaned at Yoshiteru's greeting, reminding him too much of his past interests once he was in middle school. Yoshiteru Zaimokuza was a person who suffered from eighth-grader syndrome, meaning he wanted to stand out so desperately that Yoshiteru convinced himself that he had these secret powers. Hachiman cringed at the memories of him acting similarly during his time at middle school; all those memories of cosplaying, making up fantasies, and keeping spiritual world diaries made him want to die on the spot. Having Yoshiteru develop an interest in him and hang around him kept bringing back those cringe-inducing memories, and it was for that reason that Hachiman wanted absolutely nothing to do with Yoshiteru Zaimokuza.
"It's going fine Zaimokuza, now can you please leave me alone so that I can finish my assignment?," Hachiman asked, hoping that Yoshiteru would accept his request.
"Of course, I apologize for interrupting you while you were working so diligently," Yoshiteru promised, much to Hachiman's relief.
However, before Hachiman could begin writing his essay, he got distracted by the door of the classroom sliding open to reveal a feminine looking boy who wore a light green sports jacket and shorts, a light green v-neck shirt, and black undershorts. The boy's name was Saika Totsuka, and although Hachiman hated to admit it, he's been the target of Hachiman's eye for the past three days, and it didn't help that Saika had developed an interest in Hachiman as well. Hachiman caught Saika's attention due to him displaying a knack at tennis during gym class, which Saika couldn't help compliment Hachiman on. Ever since then, Saika would try to hang around Hachiman more and more, and when he addressed Hachiman, Saika always addressed him by his first name, which Hachiman didn't mind that much due to Saika's feminine appearance and kind demeanor. However, one thing Hachiman didn't like about interacting with Saika was when Hachiman forgot he was a boy, and he felt attracted to Saika's appearance.
"Sorry that I'm late Ms. Hiratsuka, but my coach needed to talk to me about something important," Saika explained to his teacher before handing her a note.
Shizuka read the excuse note before putting it down and facing Saika, "Well, the note checks out, so you're forgiven for being late. Take your seat; the assignment is to write an essay about what you did over your Spring Break."
Saika seemed a bit confused by the assignment, but said nothing and took his seat to the left side of Hachiman. Before beginning his assignment, Saika turned to Hachiman and greeted him with a smile on his face, "Good morning Hachiman, how's your morning going so far?"
Hachiman couldn't help but smile at Saika before answering his question, "I'm doing pretty fine, thanks for asking."
"It's pretty weird that Ms. Hiratsuka is asking us to write about what we did during our Spring Break even though school started three weeks ago, don't you think Hachiman?," Saika asked.
"Yeah, it is pretty weird, but I think it has something to do with me not being in class for three weeks," Hachiman guessed.
Saika seemed to accept that answer, and was about to start working on his essay, before Yoshiteru decided to hop in Saika and Hachiman's conversation.
"Hey, were you guys talking about the Ninja?," asked Yoshiteru, excitedly.
Hachiman wanted to repeatedly hit his head against his desk once he heard Yoshiteru's question. Hachiman's high school, Sobu High School, was a very special school, not just because Sobu taught advanced academics, but because it had its very own guardian. 800 years ago, when the city of Chiba was just a castle-town ruled by the Chiba Clan, people had mysteriously started turning into monsters. The monsters had wreaked havoc on the castle-town, destroying homes and businesses, terrifying civilians, and almost bringing an end to Chiba before it had even been formed. It wasn't until a mysterious shadow warrior known only as, "The Ninja," had appeared from a cloud of smoke, battled the monsters, and was able to turn the monsters back into humans before disappearing in a cloud of smoke. For the next 800 years, the Ninja had protected Chiba from monsters and reassured Chiba's citizens that he would always protect them. From the 1900s to present day, there had been an influx of monster attacks at Sobu High, so the Ninja had started appearing more frequently at Sobu, he eventually gained the title of, "The Ninja of Sobu High," and became its unofficial mascot. Everyone in the Chiba prefecture loved the Ninja, especially Yoshiteru, as a matter of fact, there had been no one else in Chiba who admired the Ninja more than Yoshiteru did. For the past three days, whenever he got the chance to, Yoshiteru would babble on and on about how amazing the Ninja was, or pondering when he was going to appear, and it was starting to drive Hachiman absolutely insane.
"No, we were actually talking about how weird it was that Ms. Hiratsuka told us to write about our Spring Break even though it ended three weeks ago. Hachiman theorized that it's because he was absent for three weeks," Saika explained.
"Ah, what a brilliant deduction, though that's to be expected from such a brilliant tactician as Hachiman," Yoshiteru praised.
Suddenly, Shizuka slammed her fist against her desk, causing the class to look in her direction, and stopping Yoshiteru and Saika from continuing their conversation.
"Guys, you have ten minutes to finish your essays, please stop talking, and work in silence!" Shizuka reprimanded.
This caused Saika and Yoshiteru to quietly work on their essay, and Hachiman to breathe a sigh of relief at finally being able to work on his essay. As he began to write, Hachiman began to realize something: throughout the entire break, Hachiman hadn't really done too much. The only thing that he did was stay inside and play videogames and watch TV all day, with the only exception being when he went biking every once in a while. Nothing really interesting or exciting happened to him until after Spring Break, more specifically, the day that should have been his first day of school, and a few days before he returned to school. He started thinking back to what should have been his first day of school, and all the insanity that ensued during and after that day.
It had been a rather peaceful morning for Hachiman Hikigaya; it had been very sunny, the city had been pretty quiet, and a small breeze blew Hachiman's hair as he was riding his bike. It had been the first day of school and Hachiman had a good feeling that it was going to be a great day for him. Suddenly, it got a little less quiet as he had heard a dog barking and someone yelling at the dog to stop. Hachiman turned his attention to where the noise was coming from and saw that a dog was running into traffic as a limousine was speeding towards the dog. Without even thinking, Hachiman pedaled as fast as he could towards the dog; once he saw that he was close to the dog, Hachiman jumped off his bike and brought the dog into his chest before eventually he got hit by the limo. Hachiman had felt an overwhelming pain in his right leg before passing out and waking up at the hospital. It turned out that he ended up fracturing his right leg, and he would have to stay in the hospital for three weeks. Needless to say, Hachiman was not happy about this new development; now, he would have to start school three weeks after everyone else, and he would probably end being alone again just like he was in middle school. During his stay in the hospital, the only person that visited him was his little sister Komachi; his parents didn't visit him because he had work to do, which worsened his mood.
Once Hachiman got out of the hospital, all he wanted to do was relax until he inevitably had to return to school, however, before he had a chance to do that, there had been something peculiar that was sitting on his bed. When Hachiman got inside his room, he noticed a red box with a golden "9" symbol engraved in it on top of his desk. He went over to open it, and once he did, he saw a black book with a note on top of it that read, "The Ninja Nomicon." When he took the note off the book, he noticed that it had red circular engravings on the cover and a small green ninja mask engraved in the center.
"Is this some type of weird prank that Komachi's trying to play on me?," Hachiman asked himself before picking up the book.
Hachiman held the book to his face and stared at it in confusion before the red engravings started glowing, causing him to get startled, and throw the book behind him in fear. He then turned his attention back to the red box to see if there was anything that could tell him what was going on. Inside, there had been another note on top of something that was made with black fabric. Hachiman took the note out, as well as the thing made with black fabric, which turned out to be a mask, more specifically, a ninja mask. The ninja mask was black with two red vertical lines over the area where the wearer's eyes could be seen; upon inspection, Hachiman noted that it looked like a carbon copy of the Ninja's mask. Hachiman turned his attention to the note and began to read its content.
The note read as such, "You have been chosen to become the newest Ninja, it is your duty to protect the people of Chiba and Sobu High School from evil forces. You will learn everything you need to know about being the Ninja from the Ninja Nomicon; make sure you take every lesson you learn from it seriously, no matter how ridiculous they may sound. The Ninja Mask will grant you the ability to dawn the Ninja Suit and wield its incredible power. You must make sure to not tell anyone that you're the Ninja, because if word got out that you were the Ninja, you and your loved ones would be put in immense danger. Once you are deemed unable to be the Ninja, you will be relieved of your duties. Good luck young Hikigaya."
After reading the note, Hachiman started to chuckle to himself until the chuckling became full on laughter.
"Hahahahaha, oh man, Komachi almost got me there; for a second, I almost believed that someone actually broke into my room and left this stuff so that I could be the Ninja. I mean, this sounds like something out of a shounen manga: being chosen as the protector of the city, armed with superpowers, that sounds so ridiculous," Hachiman laughed to himself.
"Komachi must have done all this so that I could feel better about being stuck in the hospital, man, my little sister is the best," Hachiman theorized before noting how soft the mask had been.
"Wow, the material of this mask feels so soft; what material is this made of?," Hachiman questioned.
Hachiman decided to put on the mask to see if it was warm enough to wear during the winter time, but once he put on the mask, something unexpected happened. When Hachiman slipped the mask on over his face, the lines on the mask glowed red for a second before black and red fabric emerged from the back of the mask and began to wrap around Hachiman. Out of shock and fear about what was happening, Hachiman tripped over his own two feet and landed on his back. Once the black and red fabric stopped wrapping around Hachiman, he noticed that he was now wearing a black bodysuit. As he got up, Hachiman felt a lot stronger than usual, so strong in fact, he felt he could punch a hole into a brick wall. Once he was on his feet, Hachiman walked over to his mirror to see what exactly he was wearing. As Hachiman looked at himself in the mirror, he couldn't believe what he was looking at in that moment. The Ninja Mask was still covering his face, his fish eyes seemed to have gotten bigger, which was probably due to the suit's supernatural powers, and a red scarf hung around his neck. The torso of the Ninja Suit had a vertical red line that was cut off by a red "9" symbol on the left side of the suit and a red belt wrapped around his waist, which was made of the same fabric as his scarf, and the ankle and foot area of the suit had red trimmings.
"What the hell, is this actually happening right now; was I really chosen to be the current Ninja of Sobu High School?," Hachiman asked himself.
Hachiman wanted to try and test out what he could do with the Ninja Suit, but before he had the chance to, he had heard footsteps heading towards his room. Quickly, he ripped the mask off his face, causing the suit to disappear, and stuffed the mask inside his pocket before his bedroom door opened, revealing his sister, Komachi.
"Hey big brother, I thought I would check up on you and see if you're doing okay; hey, I bet that earned me a lot of points, huh?"
"I'm fine, my leg is completely healed so there's really nothing for you to worry about," Hachiman reassured his sister, hoping that he wasn't coming off as suspicious.
His sister seemed convinced by Hachiman's answer, and smiled, "Alright, well, I'm going to start cooking dinner, so I'll leave you to whatever you were doing before I came in," Komachi told her brother before waving goodbye and shutting the door.
Hachiman sighed in relief before he picked up the Ninja Nomicon from the floor and hid it underneath his pillow.
"Thank god Komachi didn't seem to notice the Nomicon, because if she decided to be nosy and pick it up and open it, I don't think I would be able to come up with a good excuse as to why I have a book showing me how to be the Ninja."
Hachiman took the mask out of his pocket and began to stare at the mystic piece of clothing. As he looked intensely at the mask, he wanted nothing more than to give it and the Nomicon back to whoever left it for him, but he didn't have that choice. He didn't want this responsibility, he didn't want the fate of other people's lives on his hands, but whether he liked it or not, he was chosen to be the newest Ninja and he had to accept that this was his job now. Hachiman put the mask back in his pocket before plopping down on his bed, wondering what kind of god he upset that cursed him with this responsibility.
For the past three days, Hachiman made sure that he had the Ninja Mask in his pocket before he headed to school. As Hachiman snapped out of his thoughts, he noticed that Shizuka was collecting his classmate's essays. Hachiman looked down to his paper and was shocked to see that he had written down everything that he had been thinking about, including him being chosen as the new Ninja.
"What the hell, did I actually write all of this?," he asked himself, confused as to how he was able to write an entire essay without noticing.
As Shizuka made her way over to Hachiman, he began to quickly rip his essay into pieces before handing it to his teacher.
Shizuka did not seem impressed with Hachiman's actions, "What the hell is this supposed to be Hikigaya?"
"My commentary on the fleeting nature of Spring Break," Hachiman answered, hoping his teacher would believe his excuse.
Shizuka scowled at Hachiman before handing the pieces of paper back to Hachiman before telling him to meet her after class in her office. As Hachiman looked at the pieces of paper in his hand, he wondered who would take his place as the Ninja once Ms. Hiratsuka killed him.
Alright, hey guys, Phoenix here, and I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of, "My Job As A First Year Ninja Us Weird, As Excepted." This story is a crossover AU between My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU and Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja where Hachiman is basically given Randy's job as a high school ninja. Next chapter will be called, "Last Stall On The Left." Make sure to review and give me your honest criticisms, hope you enjoyed, and until next time, later!