JKR never wrote about the first meeting in the canon universe between Dumbledore and Hermione in the headmaster's office, but I imagine it played out like this—

When Hermione was summoned to the headmaster's office, she felt confused and panicky. Once she was in the headmaster's office (alone, only he and she being present), Dumbledore soothed her fears, then flattered her and bedazzled her with pretty words. Either in this first meeting or soon afterwards, Dumbledore turned Hermione into his unwitting spy on Harry; Hermione's blind trust in authority figures would have been a godsend for his plans. Throughout Harry's and Hermione's first six years at Hogwarts, Hermione would be completely convinced that whatever actions she took on the headmaster's orders, and whatever questions she answered that invaded Harry's privacy, all were "for Harry's own good."

The meeting between Hermione and Dumbledore in this chapter begins the same as that unwritten canon-universe meeting. But here, Dumbledore's plans quickly go off the rails.

Chapter 13
Snape Gets Mail

During the walk to the headmaster's office

Hermione was scared and confused. She was a model student, but only "bad kids" ever were summoned to the headmaster's office.

What have I done wrong? she wondered, over and over. She wracked her brain and came up with nothing—she had not even raised her voice today.

But there was another reason for Hermione's worry: Harry was convinced that Headmaster Dumbledore would do something evil to her once they were alone. Hermione imagined the headmaster pulling out a pocket watch and hypnotising her, then programming her like a computer. Would the headmaster truly perform such a wicked deed?

Soon Professor McGonagall and Hermione (and panting Professor Flitwick) were standing by stairs, which were completely blocked by a gargoyle statue. Professor McGonagall said "Licorice sticks."

The gargoyle jumped aside, revealing a spiral staircase. As soon as Professor McGonagall and Hermione stepped on a step, the staircase's steps moved up like an escalator.

"Ah, Miss Granger, do come in," Dumbledore said genially. His blue eyes looked over half-moon glasses and twinkled at her. "Please take a seat."

Then the headmaster's voice changed: "Minerva, Filius, thank you for escorting Miss Granger here, but I'm sure you have other tasks that require your time. I'll let you attend to them."

Hermione heard imperiousness in those last words—the headmaster was not giving Professor McGonagall and Professor Flitwick permission to leave, he was ordering them to leave. Hermione felt scared.

Professor Flitwick walked to a chair and sat on it. "Right now my most important task, headmaster, is to advise and to assist a student in my House."

Professor McGonagall did not bother to justify her presence. She simply sat in another chair and said, "Well, Albus?"

But the headmaster was not the next person to speak. Hermione asked, "Please, sir, why am I here? What did I do wrong?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Miss Granger, you have done nothing wrong. Perish the thought. You were pointed out to me as an interesting student, and I wanted to get better acquainted with you."

Professor Flitwick said, "So you didn't ask her here because she's Harry Potter's best friend?"

"Of course not," the headmaster said. "So, young lady, what do you think of your first day of classes in magic? What do you think of the school?"

"They're both brilliant, sir," Hermione said, slightly relaxing. She smiled a bit.

"Good, good," the headmaster said, his eyes twinkling. "Now, since Harry's name has come up, let me ask you, Miss Granger: How did you and Harry meet?"

On the train platform, Harry's eyes had stared earnestly into Hermione's. "One final thing I need to tell you. If Dumbledore asks you a question about me, tell him firmly, 'Go ask Harry himself' or 'Go ask a professor.' Don't answer Dumbledore's intrusive question. Another nasty quirk of his is that he's greedy to know other people's secrets—but the secrets he knows, he never tells."

Hermione was scared, but her spine stiffened. "I met him, sir, but the details are boring. Ask Harry if you wish to know."

"Miss Granger, this is not the answer I was hoping for." The headmaster sounded so disappointed in her!

Hermione continued bravely: "But since the boy's name has come up, as you say, perhaps you could answer a question: Where in the town of Little Whinging, in Surrey County, does Harry live?"

Hermione thought, I'm asking only for a post address, not a military secret, and it's an address I already halfway know. But if Harry is right and the headmaster is miserly at sharing secrets, he'll invent excuses not to tell.

"What makes you believe," Dumbledore asked in a careful voice, "that Harry Potter lives in Surrey?"

"Well, sometimes over the hols, Harry and I would agree to go somewhere, with my parents picking him up. But he refused to tell us where his house was. He always went to a park to be picked up. The park is in Little Whinging, and I figure it's within walking distance of his house."

"Miss Granger, Harry was wise not to tell you. There are bad wizards who could do bad things to Harry if they could trick from you the knowledge of where he lived."

Professor Flitwick said, "Nonsense. Whatever Mr Potter's reason was for not disclosing his address, it wasn't worry about Death Eaters. Miss Granger, did Mr Potter tell you why he won't tell you where his family lives?"

"Erm, first of all, professor, Harry always calls them his 'relatives,' never his 'family.' And whenever I suggested us playing together at his house, his face turned red and he said 'No!' really loudly."

"Like he's ashamed?" Professor McGonagall asked. Her hand covered her mouth in horror.

Professor Dumbledore said, "If Harry doesn't want you at his house, you should respect this. So you see"—the headmaster's eyes twinkled—"there's no reason for me to tell you his address."

"But it's not only me who wants to know, professor. My parents want to know his address too."

"Miss Granger, your parents are Muggles. It would be dangerous for Harry if they knew where he lived."

"What I want to know," said Professor Flitwick, "is why Mr and Mrs Granger want so much to talk to Mr Potter's fa—relatives."

"Mum and Dad wouldn't say," Hermione said sombrely. "They told me, 'It's not a topic for children, Hermione.' "

Professor McGonagall snarled, "I told you, Albus! They are the worst sort of Muggles!"

"Wait," said Hermione. "Harry's relatives are bad people, and you know this? Then why is he with them? Yesterday on the train platform, we met a pink-haired woman, and Harry is related to her. But he's not living with the pink-haired woman's family, he's living in Little Whinging. Why isn't Harry living with nice magical people instead of nonmagical people he doesn't want me to meet?"

The headmaster steepled his fingers. "You're too young to understand this, but Harry is where he is, because it's safest for him."

Professor McGonagall sighed. "I'm afraid, Miss Granger, that the only way you'll learn the address is if Mr Potter changes his mind and tells you. Nobody here knows the address except for the headmaster and myself, and I've taken an oath on my magic not to reveal Mr Potter's address."

Hermione looked at the headmaster. "Does my telling you that my parents want to talk to Harry's aunt and uncle, change your mind about giving me Harry's address?"

"No. Truly this is a secret for Harry's own good."

Hermione sighed. "Erm, listen, if I'm not in trouble for anything and you're not going to ask me any questions about me, may I go now? I've homework to do." Hermione did not ask this question of the headmaster; rather, she asked it to the other two professors in the room.

"Yes, you may leave," Professor McGonagall said, whilst shooting the headmaster a look of Don't argue if you know what's good for you.

Hermione was just about to open the door when the headmaster said, "Miss Granger! Tell me, what does Harry think of me? Does he understand that everything I've done has been for his own good?"

"He hates you, headmaster." Hermione put her hand on the door handle. "Did you expect otherwise?"

"Why does he hate me? Tell me, what have I done to anger him?"

"I'll let Harry answer that."

"Please tell him I care deeply for him. Harry Potter is a special boy, and if you're his friend, obviously you are a special girl. Sometime, I would like to talk to you again, about how you and I can work together behind the scenes to help your special friend."

Hermione looked the headmaster in the eyes. Tears were running down from Hermione's own eyes; her disappointment was gigantic. She said, "Sir, I can't see that Harry needs any help from anyone. Already he's shown that he's someone who helps others. But from things he's let slip, I think the last thing he needs is help from you. If you 'help' him any more than you have, he'll wind up with an arm and leg missing. Sir."

As calmly as Hermione could manage, she walked out the door—even as tears continued to fall.

Albus was annoyed. During the entire time that Miss Granger had been in his office, he had used the Elder Wand to try and do covert Legilimency on her. Part of Albus's frustration was that the Elder Wand still was not working like it used to. But another reason for his annoyance was that when he tried to read Miss Granger's mind, he heard nothing. He did not hear surface thoughts, he did not hear decoy thoughts, he heard nothing. As if he had tried to mind-read a rock.

So whatever secrets that Harry Potter might have confided to Miss Granger, Albus still did not know.

In any case, Miss Granger had been deeply disrespectful to Albus during their meeting. Albus snarled in his head, Child, now you are definitely not getting help from the headmaster when you are bullied.

Meanwhile, in the Great Hall

Harry and his new friends had lingered over dessert, but now were preparing to scatter from the end of the Ravenclaw table.

At the moment, Harry worried about Hermione in Dumbledore's office. Harry's worries were lessened because Professors Flitwick and McGonagall also were in the headmaster's office—still, Harry worried about his friend. Would Dumbledore succeed at beguiling innocent, trusting Hermione?

"Hermione will be fine, Heir Potter," said Su Li. Harry gave her a fake smile in reply.

Then Harry consciously put thoughts of Hermione aside. He smiled at the eleven other faces at the end of the table. "I'm glad I did this, holding this all-Houses firstie dinner."

Harry was interrupted by words of agreement from the other first-years.

Harry continued, "Let's do this every night. Any and every first-year is invited except Bilious. He creeps me out."

Harry was answered with eleven smiles, to match his own grin.

That evening, in the Ravenclaw common room

Hermione told the story of her meeting with Dumbledore. More students than only the first-years listened closely. Harry saw frowns on many faces, to match the frown that Harry himself was wearing.

The next morning, after breakfast
Tuesday, 3rd September
In the Great Hall

As usual, after breakfast the mail owls delivered copies of the Daily Prophet. Harry discovered that the Prophet had much to say about the Sorting (starring Harry Potter, "the Boy Who Lived"). Surprisingly, the newspaper quoted Snape's contrite speech, after the Opening Feast, in full.

Meanwhile, elsewhere in the Great Hall

Severus Snape was shocked, then confused, when a postal owl landed on the High Table in front of his breakfast plate.

He was shocked because the pastel-yellow colour of the envelope told Snape that this was a personal letter. Snape never received personal letters!

Snape was confused when he saw the name written in the upper-left corner of the front of the envelope: "A Bones." Amelia Bones was the Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement; also, she was the aunt and the guardian of first-year Hufflepuff student Susan Bones.

Completely unable to guess what he was about to read, Snape opened the envelope.

Amelia Bones's note was short and to the point—

"I saw the story about you in the Daily Prophet. You admitted your terrible mistake, to someone who wouldn't forgive you. I know your pain. In your case, it was the student body of Hogwarts to whom you confessed, but by whom you were not absolved; in my case, it was Sirius Black."

After breakfast, Snape owled Amelia a note in reply. Afterwards, Snape could not explain to himself why he wrote what he did, acting like a brash Gryffindor—

"Thank you for the kind words of empathy, Miss Bones. Would you like to go out for tea sometime?"

Minutes later, in the DMLE

Amelia almost fell out of her chair when she read the owl-message from Professor Snape. He wants to go on a date with me?

Amelia's first response was to say No, absolutely not, forget it! But then she thought about her situation.

She was the Director of the DMLE—which meant that everyone who worked in magical law enforcement was off-limits for dating. Nobody else who worked in the Ministry of Magic even slightly appealed to Amelia—or they already were married. Same with the wizards whom she met, who did not work for the government: they were unappealing, they were married or they preferred other wizards.

In short, Amelia's dating options were limited.

Next, was Severus worth her time? He never had been charming; and he had joined the Death Eaters as a teenager; these were giant negatives to Amelia. But evidently, he had recanted at becoming a Death Eater—or had he? If Amelia went on a date with Severus, she would have to question him about this.

But Severus came with plusses. He had helped Amelia with NEWT-level Potions a few times, despite being a year behind her in school; which meant he was smart. He had been the friend of Lily Evans for five years. He had a dry wit that had made Amelia laugh whenever she had heard it. And he could insult someone, to deadly effect, without speaking louder than the librarian.

But one thing stopped Amelia from writing to Severus with "Yes, I'll have tea with you": Sirius Black. If Sirius heard that she had gone on even one date with Severus, any hope she had of reconciling with her one-time almost-betrothed would be lost.

Amelia used a Bones house-elf to send Sirius a note: "Is there any hope for us getting back together? I miss you."

One minute later, Kreacher delivered Sirius's reply: "Not in the foreseeable future, Director Bones."

So Amelia sent an owl-message back to Professor Snape: "Severus: Yes, I want to sit down with you for tea. Not as Auror and professor, but as a woman and man who went to school together. Where and when do you want to get together?"

An hour later, elsewhere in Hogwarts Castle

Harry had his first Defence Against the Dark Arts class (in this lifetime); this time, Harry was surrounded by first-year Ravenclaws, not first-year Gryffindors.

Two-Q was just as unimpressive a teacher, because of his fake stutter, as the last time around. Even Hermione was fidgety in his class.

Because Harry no longer had the lightning-bolt scar on his forehead, Harry's forehead no longer pained him whenever Professor Quirrell turned his back on Harry. Thank Merlin for small favours, Harry thought.

Harry knew that Two-Q's stuttering and timidity were all an act, so that everyone would believe Quirinus Quirrell was nobody to fear or to watch closely. It amused Harry that his own behaviour in Two-Q's class, as a harmless eleven-year-old student, was just as much an act.

So Two-Q's "passenger" had secret plans to kill Harry? Harry had his own secret and deadly plans for Tom Riddle.

But for now, Two-Q pretended to teach, and Harry pretended to learn.

Harry thought, Actually, a better name for Mr Purple Turban would be Four-Q.

Meanwhile, in the headmaster's office

Albus was negotiating a contract with Healer Andromeda Tonks, for her to teach first- through fourth-year Potions.

The most startling thing for anyone who met Andromeda Black Tonks in person was how much she looked like her notorious sister, Bellatrix. Oh, Andromeda had ash-blond (light brown) hair, not the black hair of Voldemort's groupie; Andromeda was a Healer, not a killer; and Andromeda believed so little in Blood Purity that she had married a Muggle-born (and had been cast out of the Black family for it).

Still, all three Black daughters had been beautiful and arrogant as Hogwarts students; and right now, Albus could not shake the feeling that he was trying to hire Bellatrix or Narcissa as a Potions professor.

At the moment, Albus was trying to bamboozle Andromeda not to talk to her young relative Harry, whilst they both were at Hogwarts. Albus fake-explained, "Harry is being hit by a flood of new information. All of the wizarding world is new to him, and he needs to ease into it. Your talking to him would overwhelm him."

Andromeda sat up straight and asked archly, "Are you actually telling me not to talk to Harry Potter, who is family to me? Is this a condition of my employment?"

"Andromeda, I'm just trying to explain why it's for Harry's own—"

"This is a condition of my employment, yes or no?" Before Albus could answer, Andromeda continued, "Because if your answer is 'yes,' I'll stay at my job at Saint Mungo's and you can find someone else. Of course, such a search might take you a while."

When Albus said "Yes, this is a condition of your employment," Healer Tonks walked out without another word, and she walked down the stairs and most of the way through the Great Hall before Albus called her back—then he caved completely.

Healer Tonks would receive a hundred galleons a year less than her first counteroffer, but now she would be allowed to talk with Harry, and Albus now had his professor for Baby Potions.

It was a rotten deal for Albus, but Severus had forced Albus to bargain from a position of weakness—and Andromeda at the negotiating table proved to be as merciless as her black-haired sister.

At lunchtime, in the Great Hall

Snape again received an owl-delivered letter that surprised him. But this letter was not written by Amelia Bones, it was written by Sirius Black—

.

Dear Severus,

First of all, I owe you a fifteen-year-old apology. The prank I played on you in fifth year, telling you about the Whomping Willow corridor during a full moon, when Remus was fully the werewolf, could have gotten you killed. It was gormless and thoughtless of me. I can only imagine how frightening that night was to you, before James rescued you. I have no excuse. I apologise.

Harry has written one letter to me since my acquittal. He made a point to mention that when you were visiting him at Petunia's house, you made two oaths on your magic: one to be a good Potions teacher, and one to be an ally of Harry's against Dumbledore. I am pleased to hear that you made these two oaths without any prompting by Harry.

Harry also wrote in his letter to me, these words: "Having spent time near Professor Snape, I can understand why Mum called eleven-year-old Sev 'grumpy.' But both Hermione and I deeply respect Professor Snape, and I ask that you do too."

In three days, the Wizengamot will hear my petition to become Harry's guardian. My law-wizard tells me that this is sure to happen. When I am granted guardianship, I want to be a good guardian for Harry, one who doesn't make him unhappy. But I realise, bad feelings between you and me would make Harry unhappy.

In short: It's time I grew up. Again, I apologise for being a wanker to you.

Sirius Orion Black

.

Snape did not know how to respond to this letter. However, there was one response he was sure that he would not make: Unlike Amelia Bones, he would not suggest that Sirius Black meet him for tea.

Meanwhile, elsewhere at the High Table

Filius Flitwick eyed the headmaster and said, "Last night, when Miss Granger came into your office, you know that I came with her, as her Head of House. What you don't know is why I did this. As Miss Granger was walking away from her seat, Mr Potter stood up and asked me to sit in; otherwise, quote, 'Anything from tricky word-games to mind-control spells could happen to Hermione if those two are alone.' "

" 'Mind-control spells'? Harry actually said I would do this?" The headmaster looked hurt and disappointed.

Flitwick did not voice his suspicions that the headmaster several times had Obliviated him.

Instead, Flitwick said, "Last night, Miss Granger told the Ravenclaw common room that all of your questions for her were about Mr Potter, not about Miss Granger herself. This morning, I've been asked by many Ravens if you actually would Imperius Miss Granger to turn her into a spy of Mr Potter." The headmaster looked alarmed. Flitwick continued, "I said I didn't think you would go so far, but it was my opinion that you are obsessed with Mr Potter."

Shocked-seeming Dumbledore said, " 'Obsessed,' that's what you called me?"

Minerva said, "You are obsessed with Mr Potter, Albus. It's unhealthy."

None of the professors who were involved in the discussion needed to mention that if a roomful of Ravenclaws decided that their headmaster was "obsessed" with Harry Potter, then by this evening, this opinion would be shared all over the school.

After lunch

This time, it was Harry who was summoned to Dumbledore's office. Harry was prepared.

After Dumbledore's usual offer of the potioned sherbet-lemon candy, followed by small talk, the headmaster asked, "What happened to your scar? It's completely gone."

Harry lied smoothly and said, "Goblins. Voldy put that lightning bolt on my forehead, but I had no intention of it staying on my forehead. I like my forehead unmarked, thank you very much."

Dumbledore looked stunned. Harry knew that Dumbledore, giving the matter only little thought, had assumed that the horcrux in Harry's scar could not be killed except by Harry dying. In fact, it had been Thanatos's contract that had removed the horcrux from Harry's scar; but Harry was sure that if he had gone to the goblins for horcrux-removal, the goblins would have succeeded at the task. But Dumbledore clearly had not given even a second's thought to Harry visiting a goblin healer.

But then, Harry thought angrily, why should Dumbledore think of the goblins? To do so would require the whiskered wanker to admit that maybe he was wrong sometimes. Besides, he was not the person to be stuck with the results of having a chunk of Voldy's soul stuck to his forehead.

"And your glasses, what happened to them?" Dumbledore asked.

"Oddly, after my scar was fixed, I no longer needed them."

"Do you truly believe I use 'mind-control spells' on students?" Dumbledore asked, his voice dripping with disappointment.

"In a heartbeat. And on professors too," Harry replied.

"You have no proof of any such claim, Harry."

Harry, instead of replying, looked at the headmaster in a lengthening silence. When the silence was broken, it was by Dumbledore—

"Exactly why do wizard-raised kids call you Heir Potter?"

"Because I am Heir Potter. Want to see the ring?" Harry took great joy in showing Dumbledore the Heir Potter ring that Dumbledore had plotted so hard to prevent Harry from ever hearing about.

Dumbledore glanced at the Heir Potter ring, then put on his disappointed grandfather face. "Harry, there was no need for you to do this. You need to enjoy your childhood, free of cares and responsibilities."

"Rubbish. Without this ring and this title, I would be defenceless against any kind of attack." Harry's green eyes bored into Dumbledore's blue eyes in challenge. "By the way, G107 000 is missing from the Potter family vault; you wouldn't know where those galleons went to, would you?"

Harry heard several portraits gasp at Harry's thinly veiled accusation.

"Harry, I am disappointed in you, for making baseless insinuations against me. You shall apologise now."

" 'Baseless' insinuations? Does the name Bronzedagger ring a bell?" Harry stood up. "This meeting is a farce. I'm leaving." Harry headed for the door—

—which would not open. "Harry my boy," Dumbledore said smugly from behind, "I really must insist that you apologise to me before I let you leave. Believe me, if you had clear proof that I had stolen from your family vault, I'd be labouring in the goblin mines right now."

"You actually will lock me in here till I 'apologise' to you for calling you out for your shit that we both know is true?"

"Language, Harry. You are overdue to learn that you and I do not have a relationship of equals. Well? I'm waiting." Dumbledore's smug grin was big on his face.

Harry smiled a smug grin of his own. "I'm going to show you a wandless-magic spell I know."

Harry moved his open right hand towards the door, whilst making a twisting motion with his right forearm, as if he were turning a doorknob. "Fa Tratyeh Low."

Harry pulled on the door; it opened. Harry shot a grin at Dumbledore over his shoulder, then walked out.

Albus stared in shock as Harry walked through the Elder Wand-locked door.

The meeting had been a total failure. Albus had tried to cast Legilimency on Harry, only to "hear" nothing. Just like with Miss Granger, either Harry was brain-dead, or he was a natural Occlumens.

Before dinner, in the Great Hall

Study in the library this afternoon had involved ten, not seven—Millicent Bulstrode, Su Li and Padma Patil had joined Harry and the other six from yesterday.

Now, as Harry, Hermione, and the eight other first-years entered the Great Hall, coming from the library, Harry spotted Professor Flitwick and a woman with light-brown hair standing just inside the double doors that led to Ravenclaw.

"Mr Potter, please come here," Flitwick shouted, as he beckoned Harry over.

"Are we sitting at the same place as yesterday?" Millicent asked Harry.

"End of the Ravenclaw table, yes," Harry said. "Please save seats for me and Hermione. Join me now, Hermione?"

As Harry and Hermione walked towards Flitwick and the light-brown-hair woman, Hermione murmured, "It's 'seats for Hermione and me.' Honestly, Harry."

Harry chuckled at Hermione being so Hermione-ish.

Professor Flitwick performed introductions, "since I understand that you two never actually have met. Healer Tonks, this is your second cousin, Harry Potter the Potter Heir, and Miss Hermione Granger of New House Granger. Mr Potter and Miss Granger, this is the new professor for 'Baby Potions,' as well as Mr Potter's second cousin, Healer Andromeda Black Tonks."

Harry bowed to his Cousin Andromeda and kissed her knuckles, as Andromeda and Hermione exchanged curtseys.

Harry asked Andromeda, "May I invite you to dinner with me and a horde of curious eleven-year-olds from all four Houses?"

Andromeda sighed. "I'm told it's traditional that professors eat at the High Table during the meal. But how about I shave the tradition a bit and join you during dessert?"

"That would be brilliant!" Harry said. Hermione looked happy too—undoubtedly at the thought of chat with a Hogwarts professor outside of class.

Minutes later, at the High Table

When Dumbledore announced that Hogwarts had hired the professor for Potions for the first four years, Andromeda heard the second-, third- and fourth-year students clap and cheer. The first-years did not cheer, and clapped only politely—and this included a group of first-years that was sitting at the end of the Ravenclaw table.

Andromeda leant over and asked Filius, "Do I truly spot all four Houses eating together in that group that Harry is sitting with? When did this start?"

"Yesterday," Flitwick said.

"Yesterday?"

"Yesterday, and it was Mr Potter who formed the group. Already your cousin has shown himself to be a remarkable young man."

Andromeda looked more closely, and noticed that her nephew Draco was in Harry's group. At the moment, Draco, Harry, Hermione and Susan Bones were holding a four-way discussion.

Andromeda said, "A remarkable young man? Clearly so, if Harry can get Draco talking politely with a Muggle-born girl."