All Nightmare Long

Chapter 418

Author's Note: To the guest review, I was going to have them run into a small group, not Negan himself. That'll happen about the same way, with just a few different changes. I've already got the idea for the couch scene with Jewel replacing Michonne. There's going to be a bit rough patches for our Jicks. But never worry, our OTP will always work it out. Jewel isn't going to like the way Rick reacts to Negan. But she'll have a different way to deal with it then Michonne. Now to something that I have missed, a Jicks chapter! Please review, it makes me happy and it motivates.

Rick and Jewel's POV:

Jewel kissed the top of Judith's head as she put her in her crib, as she checked on Mika who was taking a nap. She glanced up as she saw Rick leaning against the door. She walked over to him as he put his arm around her and closed the door and walked directly over to there room. "You should be with Carl, you haven't seen him since this morning," Jewel said as she wiped her eyes and sat on the bed.

Rick kissed her. "I'll see him tonight, Mrs. Grimes. I'm going with you tomorrow to. look for Summer, so is Daryl, Abraham, Joey, Glenn and I are going with you. Michonne and Jes probably will want to come too," he told her. "She's our family too, my daughter too," he said as he kissed her. "If this is going to be the last time that we do an organized search for her, it's going to be everyone that can be spared," he told her.

Jewel looked at him. "Do you think that I made the wrong decision?"

Rick pressed his forehead against hers and squeezed her hands. "It's a decision that had to be made, and you were the only one who was going to make it. If you wanted a team out looking for her for a month, a year, two years, then that's what we would do," Rick told her. "I know that you would risk your life for Summer, for anyone in our family, for our children, and I know that you don't want to give up hope that she's alive, neither do I, or Daryl, or anyone. But, we both know that, if she could, she would have made it back already. We both know what's out there, whose out there, and I don't want to even think about what could be happening to her, but I have, every time I have a free minute, I do," he said with tears in his eyes. "I know that you have been thinking about it too, and none of us want that. I blame myself, I shouldn't have let her go," he said.

Jewel shook her head as she touched his face. "No, it's not," she said with tears in her eyes. "It's not your fault. She had a job to do, and she was doing it, keeping this place safe, our family safe," she told him. "I told Carl, I couldn't stop, if I stopped, I would break down, and if I broke down, I wouldn't stop. He told me that I didn't have to be strong all the time, that you all are there for me," she said.

Rick hugged her tighter and kissed her neck. "We are, we always have been, I always have been. Do you know how many times that you have been strong for me when I didn't think I could go another day? When I just wanted to give up? I was sure that it was over in Terminus, I was sure we were all going to die, that I was never going to see you again. I thought I was going to die not knowing what happened to you, to Summer, to Judith to Hope, but then there you were, and all I had to do was look into your eyes and I knew it was going to be alright. With just one look in those beautiful eyes, I knew that we would be alright. I knew that because we were together, and together we could do anything, we have done anything, and we will continue to do anything as long as we do it together. Now, I can be strong for you, let me," Rick pleaded. "Tell me what you're thinking."

Jewel wrapped her arms around him and took a few deep breaths before she started crying. "I don't want to think what's happening to her if she's alive. The group that Daryl told us about, there has to be more of them, and what if they found her injured? I don't want her dead, but I don't want to think she is suffering. But what if we stop looking and she is out there? What if we can't find her and she keeps suffering because we gave up?" she questioned in tears.

Rick kissed her and held her tightly. "We are never going to stop looking, one way or another. If she's out there, she's going to give whoever has her hell because she's a fighter," he assured his wife as he kissed her neck.

Jewel nodded. "That she is. I don't know what the right thing to do is," she said as she laid back on the bed.

Rick joined her and squeezed her hand, and turned to look at her and caressed her face. "I don't think we never know what the right thing is, we just go by our instinct, what we know is right. Summer was a strong teenager when this all started, she was ready to face this world, and that's because of you, Daryl and Merle. And from that beautiful teenager, I watched her grow into a strong, fearless and amazing young woman, just like her mother," he told her.

"I want a drink," Jewel admitted.

"What can I do?" Rick asked as he kissed her.

"Keep doing what you're doing, what you always do, Mr. Grimes," Jewel said as she kissed him. "I'll go with you to see Carl, sit with him for a bit, feed Hope, take a walk, keep my mind occupied."

"You would have talked to Jane, or went to a meeting before right?" Rick asked as he kissed her.

"I would have," Jewel said. "But there isn't exactly an AA meeting I can go to around the corner, and Jane is long gone," she told him.

"But there is someone here that you can talk to, someone who understands, someone whose been there before," Rick pointed out.

"You mean Noel?" Jewel questioned.

Rick touched her face. "I thought that we could do this without there help, just relying on ourselves. I didn't trust any of them. But we couldn't, I couldn't have got rid of that herd without the help of everyone," he told her. "You don't have to do it alone, none of us do," he said as he kissed her. "No one would blame you if took a drink, no one would judge you. But you aren't going to do that because you are to strong too," he said as he touched her face. "You aren't going to let it win, you won't, we won't let it win. So do you want to go talk with him?" he asked.

"Now?" Jewel asked.

"Is there a better time, Mrs. Grimes?" Rick questioned his wife.

"I'm not going to go out and get a drink tonight, I'm not that tempted. I have better self control than that," Jewel told him.

"Then you promise me that you will see him tomorrow morning before we leave. You need to promise me that you will talk to him tomorrow before we go. I think we both know tomorrow's going to be tough, for all of us. And if you don't agree, I'll tell Daryl and have him and Abraham carry you over there,"Rick told her teasingly.

Jewel smiled. "I promise, and you can walk me over there yourself," she told him.

Rick didn't have a chance to speak before a knock came on the door. He looked at Jewel before sitting up in bed. "Come in," he said.

The door opened, Beth, Michonne and Carol came in.

"Is everything alright?" Jewel questioned as she sat up.

"We're coming with you tomorrow, so is Abraham, Rosita, Tara and some of the others," Carol said.

"Quinn volunteered to to stay and look over Carl, and her daughters will help take care of Judith and Hope, and Mika and Mitch can help. Mar will handle assignments with Maggie and Gus,"Michonne told them.

"It sounds like you have it all figured out already," Jewel said.

"She's like a second sister to me, and we all are going to be looking for her," Beth said.

"And we're all going to support each other, like we always have," Carol said. "I've lost one daughter, I'm not going to lose another one, not without a fight," she said as she went and hugged her.