I've been asked what OPCC&I (in the previous chapter) stands for. It stands for Obliviate, Potion, Compulsion, Confundo and Imperius—different sorts of mind-manipulation magics.

Chapter 18
Albus Is Squeezed

The next morning (Saturday, 21st September)
The headmaster's office, Hogwarts SOW&W

A fortnight ago, Albus had realised he faced arrest if he tried to do business in person at Gringotts. All of his vaults, even vaults he controlled as headmaster, had been put out of his reach. In the last fortnight, Albus had sent house-elves Wrinkly and Beekeeper as trusted proxies to do Albus's banking for him.

Today, Albus was informed in a letter that Gringotts would not allow withdrawals when one of his keys was presented in the Gringotts lobby by any proxy from the following list—

• Albus's House of Dumbledore house-elf, Beekeeper;

• Aberforth Dumbledore;

• all Hogwarts house-elves; and

• all employees of Hogwarts—this included all professors (listed by name), Rubeus Hagrid and Argus Filch.

The Gringotts letter ended with these cheery words: "The Gringotts lobby has magic in place that detects use of a glamour or Polyjuice Potion." Albus wanted to snarl obscenities.

The castle was a few days away from running out of food. Food cost money. So now Albus was trying to talk Augusta Longbottom into accepting the Hogwarts Supplies key and using it to withdraw G536 from the Hogwarts Supplies vault.

But Regent Longbottom's reply was maddening: "I'm not going to do this, headmaster. According to rumour, if you sent me your key, it would come with almost-undetectable Compulsion Charms on it, and I'd wind up withdrawing G536 from the Longbottom vault, not from yours."

"I assure you, Gus, I would do no such thing."

"Headmaster, it's clear to me that the goblins have put out a Gringotts-only order for your arrest. If you'd just admitted this, and said, 'I made a mistake, but the school still needs to operate,' I'd feel a little willingness to help you out. But I've heard rumours for two years now that you are free and easy with Obliviate and Compulsion charms—"

"Gus—"

"Merlin, Albus, I'm old enough to remember when Minerva started teaching Transfiguration. That woman was a spitfire fifty years ago! Now she's your lapdog. I'm on the Board of Governors, let me remind you; it would not be 'for the Greater Good' for either Neville or me if I became your lapdog too."

"Gus, I assure you—"

"Here's my alternate plan: I advance you G500 from the Longbottom vault, after you make an oath on your magic that you shall pay me back within 180 days; or I advance you G200, fully expecting that whatever unoathed promises of repayment you make, you will weasel out of."

"I need G536, not G500."

"Well, I see a problem, headmaster. I can believe that you need G500. But the extra thirty-six galleons? I'm not paying for your bags of sherbet lemons. But since you've made no objection, I assume that you're fine with agreeing to give me an oath on your magic that you'll pay House Longbottom back within 180 days?"

"Gus, I am keenly disappointed in you. My word as Leader of the Light is good enough."

"Neville tells me that Harry is missing 107 thousand galleons out of his family vault. Has that money ever turned up? Translation: Without your oath on your magic, I'll give you only two hundred galleons."

"Gus, if I take the oath like you demand, people will think that I would not repay you unless I took that oath. Be reasonable."

"Well, isn't this the truth, you not repaying me unless you're forced to? By the way, you've talked yourself out of me giving you G500, and as for the G200 that you will get, in my own mind I'm treating it the same as if I dumped it down a well."

Albus was insulted by Regent Longbottom's thinly hidden insults, and he was annoyed that he could not persuade her to give him more galleons.

Ten minutes later

Regent Longbottom fire-called Albus. The Longbottom head elf, Greenstalk, had the two hundred galleons that Regent Longbottom had promised; but when Greenstalk had tried to elf-pop over to Hogwarts with the moneybag, Greenstalk had bounced off a ward. Albus was surprised to hear this; Lucius Malfoy regularly sent his house-elf to Hogwarts to deliver messages to Albus, and the castle wards never had interfered with such traffic.

Albus summoned the Spirit of Hogwarts to give an explanation. The explanation given was that the Spirit had reevaluated the founders' orders and had made a stricter interpretation. As a result, since Regent Longbottom did not live in the castle, movements by her house-elves now were restricted. Lord Malfoy soon would find out that the same rules would hold for himself and Dobby as held for Augusta Longbottom and Greenstalk.

Dumbledore blustered: "I am the headmaster, and the new interpretation is inconvenient for me. Change the house-elf wards back to what they were."

The Spirit of Hogwarts refused Dumbledore's demand—"I obey the founders first, and you second."

The upshot was that Regent Longbottom could not send Greenstalk to Hogwarts Castle, but Dumbledore could call for Greenstalk—with Regent Longbottom's prior permission. This was how, after jumping through hoops, Dumbledore finally got his hands on Regent Longbottom's two hundred galleons.

For Albus to get the other G336 he needed, he had to go through the same rigmarole with Cyrus Greengrass. At least Cyrus did not demand that Albus make an oath on his magic to repay the money—

—but Cyrus did bring his wife Opal to Greengrass Manor's Floo Fireplace, so that Opal could hear every word of Albus's unoathed promise to repay the G336.

The actual putting of coins into Albus's hands, unfortunately, happened much like it did with Regent Longbottom: When Cyrus tried to send the Greengrass head house-elf, Bluegrass, to Hogwarts, Bluegrass bounced off a ward instead of elf-popping into Albus's office. What finally wound up being done was that Bluegrass elf-popped the moneybag just outside the Greengrass Manor ward-boundary, then a Hogwarts elf popped over there and brought the moneybag to the headmaster's office.

For Albus, these workarounds, just to get moneybags into Hogwarts so he could spend their coins, were a bloody nuisance. And besides, the founders had been dead for a thousand years, whilst Albus was trying to achieve the Greater Good—it was obvious to Albus that the Spirit of Hogwarts should give him, as headmaster, anything he asked for, instead of following the founders' ancient rules.

Ten days later
Tuesday, 1st October, lunchtime
In the Great Hall, at the first-years end of the Ravenclaw table

Whilst Harry and Hermione ate dinner with first-year students from all four Houses, breakfast and lunch were eaten with their Ravenclaw housemates. At the moment, Harry and Hermione were discussing Intent with some second-year Ravenclaws (except Cho and Marietta; Harry and Hermione ignored those two bullies).

Professor McGonagall left the High Table and walked up to Harry. "Mr Potter, the headmaster wishes to speak to you and to Lord Black after lunch. Professor Flitwick and myself already have informed the headmaster that we will be joining the discussion."

Harry was confused. "I haven't done anything! Why does Dumbledore—? Wait, don't you professors get paid on the last day of the month?" Which was yesterday.

"Yes, we do," McGonagall replied, giving Harry a puzzled look. Why are you asking this?

Harry asked, "Did you actually get paid yesterday? Are the contracted galleons actually in your vault today?"

"I presume so."

Harry said, "Don't presume, contact Gringotts and check. Before you and I walk into the headmaster's office, I want you to know, one way or the other, whether you've been paid yesterday."

"I think it will be a waste of my time, Mr Potter. But let's you and me go to my office, where I will fire-call Gringotts."

Ten minutes later
The headmaster's office

Harry and Professor McGonagall walked into the office, to see Dumbledore, Sirius and Professor Flitwick waiting for them. Of the two new arrivals, Harry was calm, whilst McGonagall was furious.

McGonagall rushed over to Flitwick, put up a Silencing Charm, and said something to the half-goblin professor. When McGonagall dropped the charm, Flitwick was scowling at Dumbledore.

"Harry my boy," Dumbledore said, "I'm glad you could come. Sherbet lemon?"

"No thank you," Harry replied. "Hermione says candies like those will rot your teeth."

"I'm telling you, you should try them. This batch is especially tasty."

"The answer still is no."

"I'm disappointed to hear you say such, Harry."

Harry leant forward in his chair. "Listen closely, headmaster: I'm going to disappoint you often during the next seven years. But since you have already keenly disappointed me, it evens out."

"Harry my boy—"

"Oi, 'Leader of the Light,' " said Sirius, "quit trying to push Harry into eating your potioned candy, and explain to him and me why you called us here."

Flitwick said, "He's missed a payroll because Gringotts has frozen all his vaults. He wants you to loan him money before the other professors find out and his reputation takes a hit."

Then Flitwick corrected himself: "Before they find out and his reputation takes a hit more than it already has."

McGonagall said, "Also, the kitchens need to buy food soon. This means additional money that the headmaster needs on hand."

Harry said, "So ask Lucius Malfoy. He's on the Board of Governors, he has buckets of money and he has a son in this school. Borrow from him."

Dumbledore said, "Lucius would demand concessions that I feel no wish to make."

Sirius said, "Augusta Longbottom, then."

"We have already spoken," Dumbledore said. "For her to loan me the money, she would insist that I make oath on my magic to repay the loan within 180 days."

"Hm, whom does that leave? The Weasleys would be more than willing to lend you the money, except they have no money to lend."

"Whom it leaves is you, Sirius, and you, Harry, both followers of the Light."

Harry looked at Sirius. "If it's Five-names Dumbledore asking, I say no. He's already done me enough harm, now he wants me to agree to let him do me more harm. I don't for one minute believe that whatever money I 'loan' him, I'll ever get back."

"Actually, Harry," said Sirius, who was smiling evilly, "since I'm your guardian now instead of the whiskered wanker, you can't loan Dumbledore one brown knut without my say-so."

Sirius turned to face Dumbledore. "I'll loan you as much as you need, whenever you need. But each time, before I fetch the money, you'll write me out an IOU. You'll also take an oath: 'I swear on my magic that I'll repay this loan in full within three months.' "

Dumbledore sputtered, "I can't do that! What if unforeseen problems come up? Sirius my boy, be reasonable!"

Harry said, "Sirius, how long were you in Azkaban for crimes you didn't commit? Remind me."

Sirius replied, "Nine years and nine months, roughly."

Harry then asked, "And who was it who had the legal authority to order that you be given a trial, but didn't use that authority? Remind me."

Sirius replied, "The Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore."

Harry said, "So now this same Albus Dumbledore says your loan terms are too harsh."

Sirius glared at Dumbledore. "You've heard my price. Take it or leave it, old man."

"The Greater Good—"

"Shut up. You deal with me or you deal with Lucy—those are your choices. I want to see you become a Squib, Dumbledore. But maybe Lucy will show you more kindness."

"Gus would give me six month to repay instead of three months," Dumbledore said, sulking.

Sirius grinned evilly. "But would Regent Longbottom loan you the entire—can someone give me a good approximation?"

McGonagall said, "Today the headmaster needs about seventeen hundred galleons."

"No," Dumbledore said, "Gus would not loan me G1 724. Either she does not have this kind of money, or she would consider it to be G1 724 dumped down a well."

Sirius stared at the whiskered old man. "So, 'Leader of the Light,' what will it be? The painful oath that I demand, with no wiggle room, plus a written IOU, or you deal with Lucius Malfoy and make," Sirius paused, "concessions?"

In the end, Dumbledore wrote out the IOU and made the oath, whilst hitting both Sirius and Harry with his tried-and-true "I'm so disappointed in you" routine. Both Sirius and Harry were unmoved.

Sirius Side-Along Apparated Harry to the steps of Gringotts; soon afterwards, Sirius had gone into the Black family vault and had put G1 724 into a moneybag. Harry called Greyclay, the head Potter house-elf, who took Sirius's moneybag and put it on Dumbledore's desk.

Four days later
Saturday, 5th October 1991, evening
The Great Hall

The all-Houses firsties had just walked into the Great Hall from the library, and were headed towards their end of the Ravenclaw table. Some of the firsties casually glanced towards the High Table.

"Merlin!" Draco and Padma both exclaimed.

Harry looked where they were looking. Sitting at the High Table was Snape—but for the first time since Harry had known the man (in either lifetime), Snape was not wearing all-black. Instead, his robes were dark blue (though with black shoulder-covers). The shocker was who was seated next to Snape at the High Table: Amelia Bones, who was wearing bright-purple robes with green shoulder-covers.

Snape and Amelia spoke together briefly, then both stood up, walked round the High Table, and plotted a course for Susan Bones and her friends.

As the two adults approached, Tracey said, "Why is he dating her? She's old."

Susan replied archly, "Auntie is not 'old.' She's only a year older than Professor Snape. Her hair turned prematurely grey in her twenties."

By now, Snape and Amelia were standing at the all-Houses firsties end of the Ravenclaw table. Hermione, smiling, said to Snape, "You look happy, professor. Dating Madam Bones suits you."

Snape gave Hermione a small smile(!) "It does indeed suit me. We are well matched."

Harry was close to Amelia now, and he noted that she was not wearing her monocle; however, the monocle was hanging from a hook that had been sticking-charmed to the front of her robes. Also, whilst no female Auror wore a hair-net on the job, Amelia was wearing a hair-net now; the hair-net was the same bright purple as her robes.

Meanwhile, Susan was introducing the all-Houses firsties to Amelia. Harry was Muggle-raised enough to think that an eleven-year-old boy kissing the knuckles of a woman in her thirties looked absurd; but Justin, Neville and Draco all acted unbothered by the custom.

When Harry himself was introduced to Amelia Bones, he stuck his hand out, palm turned sideways, expecting to shake her hand—

—until an "Ahem!" from Hermione pushed Harry out of his mental rut. Harry switched over—hopefully without his almost-gaffe being too noticeable—to kissing the back of Amelia's hand.

When introductions were complete, Parvati asked the couple, "So what have you two done whilst you were here in the castle?"

"Broom cupboard," Su Li murmured.

Amelia replied, "Severus showed me the parts of the Potions lab that students never get to see." Amelia's cheeks were pink, Harry noticed.

Snape said, "We also took a romantic stroll on the third floor."

Harry asked mischievously, "Including the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side?"

Amelia said, "We walked past that door, but we didn't try to go in."

Snape added, "That door was locked." His expression was unreadable.

"Alohomora works," Su Li murmured.

"However," Amelia said, "We heard what sounded like three barking dogs on the other side of the door."

"It's one Cerberus, people," Su Li murmured.

All this time, whatever students had come into the Great Hall had been talking—in fact, seeing Snape and Amelia Bones together in the Great Hall, all the other students had been talking more loudly than usual. But suddenly the volume dropped to silence, even though almost all the students and professors had arrived and had taken their places.

Harry looked about. He saw that Dumbledore had not yet sat down at the High Table; indeed, Dumbledore had not even reached the High Table. Now Dumbledore stood near the High Table, whilst staring at both Snape and Amelia.

Harry said to the couple, "You two had better go back to the High Table and sit down, before Dumbles sends your plates away."

"Professor Dumbles," Hermione corrected.

After Snape and Amelia were reseated at the High Table, Dumbledore walked over and spoke to them. Whatever Dumbledore was trying to sell, the other two clearly weren't buying it. Someone amongst the three put up a Silencing Charm; the argument continued for five minutes more, before scowling Dumbledore strode back to his golden throne and sat down.

Watching the drama were the all-Houses firsties. Neville asked, "What do you suppose they were saying up there?"

Harry said, "My guess? Dumbles doesn't want Amelia Bones ever invited back to the castle again. And since she's already in the castle tonight, then after dessert, Dumbles wants her Obliviated."

Hermione said, "A month ago, I'd think you were joking."

Harry replied, "I'm not joking at all."

Nine days later
Monday, 14th October
In the Slytherin Library

Ever since that first day of Harry and Hermione researching together in the Slytherin's Chamber library, the two children had continued to spend two hours each day in that same library. Each was there mainly to find a Parseltext unsticking charm; but they each were learning so much about magic in general.

But Harry had not forgotten his original objective—and now his heart was pounding. He used §Conjure translations§ to make a blue-covered copy of the book he was currently reading, then slid the blue copy over to Hermione.

"Hermione, turn to page 96. Look what I've found."

Fifteen seconds later, Hermione said, "Adhesio—glues two surfaces together. Finite Adhesionem—unglues the two surfaces. Let's see if the un-Parsel version works."

Hermione closed the blue book (after writing down the spells), then pulled the blue book towards her so that the lower third of the book hung over the edge of the table. She pointed her wand at the book and cast "Adhesio"—the book now could not be lifted off the table, even when Hermione was grunting with effort.

Harry suggested, "Before you cast the counterspell that you know will work, try Finite Incantatem."

Seconds later, Hermione reported, "Finite Incantatem—grr, still stuck to the table. Finite Adhesionem—now I can lift the book."

With it proven that a new sticking-charm had been discovered, now Hermione was looking at Harry with a grin and with her eyes aglow. "We've found the counter to the sticking charm! Now we can get rid of Professor Snape's Dark Mark."

Harry sighed. "Not so fast, Hermione. We've found a Parsel sticking charm, and its counterspell." Harry gestured to the two dozen green-covered books on the table. "There might be two Parsel sticking charms in here, and maybe Voldemort used the other one. There might be three such spells, there might be twenty. All I know is, If I cast the wrong counterspell on Professor Snape's Dark Mark, he'll die."

Hermione's shoulders sagged. "I'm sorry for getting so excited. I thought we'd found the answer."

"We might have found the answer, but we'll keep searching. Would you mind terribly, continuing to do research in Slytherin's library?"

With a huge grin, Hermione replied, "If I must, I must. At least now I know a spell that nobody in this school knows except you—I console myself with this bit of knowledge."

A week later
Monday, 21st October
Again in the Slytherin Library

"Holy shit," Harry murmured.

Hermione looked up from her own reading. "Hm?"

"Hermione, you've known me almost three months. Do you think I'm evil?"

"What? No! How can you ask that?"

"If I saw a way to nobble"—swindle—"Dumbledore out of money, but the trick would work only if Dumbledore was greedy, would you think I was evil if I cheated 'the Leader of the Light'?"

"Show me," Hermione commanded.

Harry again used §Conjure translations§ to make a blue-covered copy of his current book, then slid the blue copy over to Hermione.

"Page 171. Deceived Disguise Potion."

Thirty seconds later, Hermione summarised what she'd read—

"The potion requires two live hairs from someone, just like Polyjuice Potion. After you drink the potion, you feel your body change; and when you look in the mirror, you see yourself looking like the person whose two live hairs you've used. But in truth, your appearance hasn't changed at all."

Then Hermione asked, "What are you thinking, concerning Dumbledore?"

"Hang on, this needs a long-winded explanation. Normally, Gringotts allows proxies to use a keyholder's key. So for instance, if you told me, 'I'm going to Diagon Alley,' I might hand you my key and say, "Please bring me a hundred galleons from my trust vault.' Normally, Gringotts wouldn't object if Hermione Granger presented my key as my proxy, they'd take you down to my vault the same as taking me."

"What stops me from grabbing your hundred galleons, then filling a pillowcase with galleons for myself?"

"Nothing. But since I know this, I'll hand over my key only to people I deeply trust. If Bilious would offer to pick up some money out of my vault, I'd say, 'No thanks, I'm good.' "

"Go on," Hermione said.

"Now, Gringotts always knows who presents the key. They'd know that it was Hermione Granger going down to my vault. But what Gringotts has the option of doing at any time is to write me a letter saying, 'Hermione Granger no longer may be your proxy. If she shows up with your key, we no longer will honour your key whilst she holds it.' "

"Why would Gringotts do that?"

"They'd do it if they thought that Hermione Granger would steal from my vault soon. Or if they wanted me to come to Gringotts in person. That's what I think has happened here. Hogwarts has two vaults, which Dumbledore controls, and suddenly none of the Hogwarts house-elves can be trusted with those two keys? Suddenly Minerva McGonagall can't be trusted with those two keys? Aberforth Dumbledore can't be trusted with the key to the Dumbledore family vault?"

"Okay, if Gringotts is trying to make the headmaster come to the bank in person, why?"

"Because G107 000 is missing from the Potter family vault. I suspect that the goblins want to put Dumbledore under their version of Veritaserum and to ask him about that missing money."

"Understood so far. Now how does that relate to Deceived Disguise Potion?"

"Suppose you walk into the bank lobby with my key. If you look like Hermione and you say your name is Hermione, it's business as usual because the goblins figure you have my permission to use the key. But suppose you walk in looking like me because you're Polyjuiced, and you give your name as 'Harry Potter'; but sometime between the Gringotts steps and the doors of my vault, your disguise fails—how do you think Gringotts will react?"

"They won't act sweetly. They might even kill me."

"This is why Dumbledore hasn't walked into the bank, even with taking Polyjuice Potion—because somehow the goblins can make Polyjuice Potion fail. But do you think Dumbledore would be interested in a shapeshifting potion that the goblins couldn't detect and couldn't counter? Then Dumbledore could waltz in whilst looking like John Smith, someone who isn't on the Banned Proxies list, and now Dumbledore could visit all his vaults and could withdraw money, without being grabbed and put on trial for stealing G107 000."

"I can see that," Hermione said. "If someone claimed to have a potion like that, the headmaster would sell his golden throne to get the recipe."

"On the other hand, if Dumbledore were willing to accept punishment by the goblins, a 'new and improved' Polyjuice Potion wouldn't interest him at all—in the immortal words of Larsen E. Whipsnade, 'You can't cheat an honest man.' "

Hermione said, "I think I understand now. What you want to do is to make Professor Dumbledore walk into the bank thinking he looks like John Smith, but actually he has no disguise at all."

"Right, exactly."

"But why do you want to do this to him?"

"Because he's convinced that he's the smartest person in Wizarding Britain. That whatever secret scheme he is working at the moment is perfect because he thought it up, so the scheme doesn't need to be changed—no matter how much human suffering his scheme causes. I suffered ten years of starvation and beatings because of one of his schemes, and it's only because of Delphi knowledge that I know what his ultimate goal is. He deserves humbling, Hermione, plus I want to see his face when I tell him, 'It was Harry Potter who played the ultimate prank on you.' "

Hermione's finger tapped and tapped on the page that talked about Deceived Disguise Potion. At last she said, "Do it, Harry. You make a good case. You'll still keep my respect and my lo—me liking you."