VII. Pencil to Paper

Amanda dove underneath Diana's bed and listened to three pairs of footsteps walk around the room. She clutched the diary to her chest and closed her eyes. She tried to erase her breath as she listened in on the conversation happening around her.

"Diana, we just want you to know that we're here for you." Hannah said.

"Yeah, you don't have to take on everything by yourself." Barbara chimed in a farther away by the door.

Diana sighed. "I understand your concern but there are some matters that I must deal with alone. It has nothing to do with me distrusting you two. I'm simply searching for answers to problems that don't yet have solutions and solitude is the best catalyst for new ideas." Diana's footsteps walked dangerously close to Amanda's head, but walked instead to her desk and opened some of it's drawers.

Oh shit, Amanda thought, she'll know it's gone. Looking around at the underside of Diana's bed, the red-haired witch felt trapped. Luckily, after patting around at her pockets, she realized that her wand was here as well, but that wasn't a trump card. If she casted any spell close enough to the blue team, they would undoubtedly hear her. Shit, shit. Maybe she just needed to wait for the right opportunity.

Diana rustled through her desk and eventually opened the bottom drawer and paused. Then there was a frantic opening and closing of drawers and angry steps away from her. Amanda was sweating bullets, how the hell was she going to get out of this one?

"You both have a lot of nerve taking things that don't belong to you and then trying to win my confidence all in the same day." Diana spat through her teeth. Both Hannah and Barbara's movements stopped.

"What are you talking about?" Barbara asked in a shaky voice.

"You both know what I'm talking about. Let me guess you two started planning this the second you knew I had study hall. " Diana said with venom in her voice.

"Whoa. Seriously Diana, we have no idea what you're talking about. Did you lose something?" Hannah asked.

"The bottom right drawer of my desk, it's empty. No one else has been in our room all day. You two must have stolen it's contents." Diana said taking menacing steps toward her teammates.

A couple of smaller footsteps shuffled backwards, afraid.

"That's not true, Diana. We would never go through your things." Barbara assured.

"Yeah, we'd never take your diary, we-"

"Oh, so you do know what's in there. I bet you both couldn't help yourselves, you're thick as thieves afterall. Let me guess, it was you wasn't it, Barbara? Couldn't wait to reveal to the world all of my embarrassing secrets!?" Diana accused, ending on a harsh note.

Barbara stayed silent.

"WELL? What do you have to say for yourself?" Diana roared at Barbara.

"Hey, knock it off, Diana! Neither of us took your precious diary, okay? If you really cared about opening up to us, you'd know that." Hannah defended, choking back some bitter tears. Barbara moved closer to Hannah and Diana said nothing.

Diana huffed and turned away from them.

"That's how it's always been. Even though I'm your so-called team leader, it's really been you two against me. Honestly, you're just like everyone else." Amanda listened breathlessly, was this really their team dynamic? Barbara stepped toward Diana.

"It's not like that."

"Oh but it is. Just like everyone else, you put me on a pedestal and feed me lines about how wonderful I am, but at the end of the day you just want to see me humiliated. The spoiled, stuck up, rich girl, I mean she must have the perfect life with everything anyone could ever want, so why not drag her through the mud and give her what she deserves, right?" Diana finished. Silence fell. Amanda found herself scared to move.

"Since you two are begging to know more about the real me, here's the truth. I don't have the perfect life that so many people

think I do. " With that Diana stormed out of the room. Barbara and Hannah both sat down on one of their beds in silence. Amanda decided that now was her chance and cast an invisibility spell. Slowly and quietly, she crawled out from under Diana's bed and tip-toed to the door.

She passed both witches sitting in silence with tears in their eyes. Amanda felt conflicted as she skillfully opened the door and slipped out of the room. Was it really worth it? Amanda thought as she walked back to her room, still invisible, not wanting anyone else to stop and talk to her. She had just caused Diana to turn against the two people she should have been able to trust, her teammates. All because she had swiped up her diary, but maybe this was going to happen anyway, yeah, Diana was going to find something to blame her teammates for.

Amanda's footsteps stopped two doors down from her room. Leaning back against the wall, the young witch found herself conflicted. Amanda wasn't used to reflecting back on her actions, doing what came naturally was her thing. She didn't like to dwell on the past, on things she couldn't control. On one hand, she could go back to the blue team's room, apologize to Hannah and Barbara, letting them know the truth and help them mend things with Diana. Despite her teasing she really did care about Hannah, it hurt to see her in pain.

But no. Amanda shook guilty thoughts from her head and continued walking. She had to do this, the truth she was chasing was more important. She had to gain enough evidence to expose Diana's hypocrisy. Yeah she was doing the right thing, Amanda reasoned. Diana was menace to everyone around with her misguided zeal. Someone had to expose her for what she truly was: a hypocrite. Amanda poked her head into the room and sighed in relief. Jasminka was napping in her bunk and Constanze was probably downstairs in her underground lair.

Amanda curled up on her bunk and finally decided to crack open the pages of Diana's diary. Fixing up a pillow behind her, Amanda settled an entry from a month ago.

8/19

Today was rather uneventful. After tutoring a group of first-years I went for a walk around the school grounds. Although I enjoy evening walks there are always numerous students who interrupt me, soliciting my advice on various projects and the like. Honestly, it's rather draining, I'd much prefer walks in the gardens back home.

Amanda was already starting to yawn. At this rate she would be asleep any minute. After skimming the next few pages Amanda settled on another entry.

8/25

Once more, Professor Finnelan has asked me to write a speech for the upcoming alumni banquet. As I was working on a draft in the library I found it impossible to concentrate. For only one table stood between me and that beautiful, bubbling vixen, Akko.

Amanda's eyes shot open as a wide smile spread across her face. Finally something relevant.

She was sitting at a table, face furrowed in concentration. Yet, her crimson eyes, her chocolate brown hair, oh Akko. How wonderfully ironic is it that your simplest actions cast an unbreakable hex over my heart, yet you struggle with the simplest of spells. Or is my heart just that easy to influence? Perhaps that's the case as other girls have managed to capture my fancy.

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. Amanda thought this was the evidence that she was looking for. Who knows what other damning evidence could be locked away inside these pages. Any amount of guilt that Amanda had felt before was swiftly forgotten. This was gold.

Mary, one of my classmates, can brew potions like it's second nature. She also has the most melodic voice I've ever heard, like the calm of a smooth sea before a sunrise. She manages to make my face confess in red everytime we converse, whether it be about assignments or future plans after Luna Nova. Blair, her teammate, is gifted various bird languages and always manages to smell like vanilla with I happen to be in the vicinity. She is very physically affectionate, always hugging her friends and walking arm and arm with her teammates. After third period today she hugged me in thanks for my tutoring time with her. She felt warm and softer than I ever could have imagined.

Amanda had to stop herself from laughing at all of this. She didn't even have to dig too deep into Diana's diary to see that her suspicions about her were dead on. Here was written proof that Diana was a giant gay, in the closet, literally, writing in her diary about girls like some sort of repressed, lovesick 18th century heroine.

All of these times I'm reminded of the passions I hold for other girls, I restrain myself. I am a Cavendish. I have my family's legacy to uphold. I won't give in to my selfish desires, no, I'm physically repulsed by them. I loathe them. I'd rather cut my heart right out of my chest with a dull blade, than give in to these sinful, impure desires.

Ouch. Amanda thought. She knew Diana had a complex but this was extreme. After flipping through some of the following pages, Amanda noticed a theme emerging. Angsty writing that festered with self hate, martyrdom, paranoia and a sense of duty tying back to the Cavendish name. Hmmm.

9/4

This week has been quite exhausting. Hannah and Barbara keep trying to help but my assignments are not what weighs on my heart. The fall break is approaching and as much as I would rather stay at Luna Nova, I must return home to check on various affairs. The estate needs my supervision with Aunt Daryl parading around as she pleases. Besides, I miss Juliet, she's an old horse but loyal and always happy to see me. If only Aunt Daryl wasn't there.

Amanda stopped reading and thought for a second; everything was tracing back to Diana's family name. Maybe the next step was to visit Diana's house and investigate what pressure Diana was under. Yeah, that was it. She just needed more intel for a way in and she knew exactly who to call.