Chapter 23
Epilogue, Part 1

Friday, 1st November, evening

A distracted physician is a deadly danger to his patients. It was fortunate that a distracted dentist was not a deadly danger to patients, because both Dr Daniel Granger and Dr Emma Granger had been distracted all day.

Only three times in twelve years had Hermione been caught lying to her parents; much more often, the Grangers' child had been painfully honest. Now, both parents wished that yesterday's letter home had been merely a tall tale or a prank.

Hermione, so she had written, had killed a mountain troll—a twelve-foot-tall beast in human form, who was magically resistant, stupid and mean. Hermione knew only three spells, but she had combined two of them to kill the troll. Harry meanwhile had killed Voldemort, the evil wizard who had killed both of Harry's parents.

This news was upsetting enough. But what really made the dental Grangers' brains slow to half-speed had been the other bit of news: Harry and Hermione had kissed, their kiss had formed a soul-bond and soon they would be magically married.

Friday evening, when the Grangers walked into their house, Hermione's parchment letter from yesterday still lay on the kitchen table. Emma chin-pointed at the letter and said, "At least it's Harry she's going to magically marry. We like Harry."

Dan made the rocking-hand gesture. "No man on the planet, and no boy, deserves Hermione—but Harry comes close."

But the Granger parents' strange evening was about to get even more strange.

Pop. A house-elf appeared in the kitchen, holding out a parchment letter and two golden bracelets. "Cliffy is here to carry an offer to Mister Doctor Grangey," the house-elf said. Dan took the letter.

.

To Dr Daniel Granger,

Let me introduce myself: I am the Spirit of Hogwarts, an almost-intelligent magical entity that runs Hogwarts Castle, following the orders of the four founders.

The Board of Governors is a group of Hogwarts parents that has the authority to hire and fire the headmaster and deputy headmaster, and to set the annual budget. Recently a member of the Board of Governors, Lucius Malfoy, died, and so the Board needs a replacement for him.

The only requirements that the founders set to be a member of the Board is to be a person of good character and to be a parent of a current Hogwarts student. Whilst it is traditional that a Board member furthermore be a former Hogwarts student, this is not a requirement. Such a tradition, when it is enforced, denies all Muggle parents of Muggle-borns any chance for representation on the Board. At present, Muggle-born students are 26.3 percent of the student body.

Following instructions of the four founders, I am offering you a position on the Board of Governors. If you accept the position, the house-elf who bears this letter, Cliffy, will inform you of any Board meetings that you need to attend, and is on call for you twenty-four hours a day. Cliffy will take you and your wife to Hogwarts anytime you ask. I ask, however, that whenever you go to Hogwarts, that you and your wife each wear the gold Muggle Protection Bracelet.

If you choose to accept this offer, please place a drop of your blood somewhere on the parchment of this letter, then say aloud "I accept" in Cliffy's hearing. Cliffy then will heal your injury.

The Spirit of Hogwarts

.

It took Dan and Emma Granger less than five seconds to decide. Then Emma fetched a knife with a sharp point, and performed "surgery" on Dan's thumb.

Ten seconds later, pop. Gold-braceleted Dan, gold-braceleted Emma and Cliffy were standing in Headmistress McGonagall's office. The headmistress looked startled to see Miss Granger's Muggle parents and a house-elf appear in front of her. Then Dan handed the elderly witch his letter. Headmistress McGonagall looked even more startled after she read the letter.

Seconds later, in the Ravenclaw common room

Pop. "Hello, Princess; hello, Harry," a familiar man's voice said. "Our girl is studying as usual, I see."

Hermione looked up, then her Transfiguration textbook slid to the floor, forgotten. "Mum? Dad?"

Hermione took two steps forwards, then hugged her parents for all she was worth. "You remember me!"

Emma Granger laughed. "I spent ten hours giving birth to you, dear; you better believe I remember you."

Dan Granger said, "I remember how proud I always am of my daughter. Who now is a troll-slayer at twelve. Shouldn't you be wearing a Frank Frazetta- or Boris Vallejo-designed sword?"

Harry asked, "So, Doctors Granger, how is it you're here? Did you buy a house-elf?"

Harry was asking the question as if he did not know the answer; but to Hermione, his voice sounded off. Hermione was certain that Harry was up to something sneaky that he did not want her to know about, and it involved her parents.

Meanwhile, Dan Granger had handed Harry the letter. "You're looking at the only Muggle member of the Board of Governors. As such, I'm permanently loaned a Hogwarts house-elf."

Harry said, "I'm guessing that the Board of Governors has never had a Muggle member before." Then Harry grinned at Hermione and added, "Too bad there is no source we could look in, to find out for sure."

Hermione did not break her hug of her parents, but she did glare at Harry. "Prat."

The Granger parents looked confused, so Harry explained the joke: "Hermione reads and rereads Hogwarts: A History the same way that other genius girls her age reread Pride and Prejudice."

Hermione introduced her parents to everyone in the Ravenclaw common room. (Marietta and Cho were not introduced because they were serving detention elsewhere with Filch.) Thanks to the Doctors Grangers' golden bracelets, the dentists could see and could talk with Myrtle Warren, whom Hermione introduced as "another Muggle-born Ravenclaw, who happened to die in 1943."

After introductions were made, Hermione and Harry gave the elder Grangers a tour of the castle. Their first stop: the Hufflepuff common room, to tell Justin Finch-Fletchley that the Board of Governors now had a Muggle parent on it.

The next morning
Saturday, 2nd November, after breakfast

It had been a day and a half since Magic had gifted Harry with eighteen Houses by Right of Conquest, and eighteen hours since Hermione had been given her previous-lifetime-future memories. Since then, Harry and Hermione discussed "What should I do with the eighteen Houses?"—but not in terms of Wizengamot politics, as someone else would expect. No, Harry and Hermione discussed "How can I use my Headship of these eighteen Houses to prevent the rise of another British Dark Lord?"

By now, Harry had a plan. With Hermione smiling encouragingly at him, Harry drew his wand and pointed it at the ceiling.

"Magic has awarded me eighteen Houses by Right of Conquest—namely, Avery, Crabbe, Flint, Gaunt, Goyle, Lestrange, Macnair, Malfoy, Mulciber, Nott, Parkinson, Rookwood, Rowle, Scabior, Selwyn, Slytherin, Travers, and Yaxley.

"I magically declare that all of the above-named Houses, except for Slytherin, are to be extinct. For the seventeen designated-extinct Houses, Heirs and Heiresses of those Houses lose their Heir or Heiress status, I do not name anyone as Heir or Heiress for any of these named Houses, and nobody may claim Lordship of any of these named Houses after I die. So mote it be."

Harry's wand flashed. Hermione rushed forward and hugged Harry, as she kissed him on the lips.

Once they broke the kiss, Harry grinned mischievously. "Now I'll be the last person who is ever qualified to wear the Gaunt Head of House ring. So nobody will ever find out that I don't have that ring myself anymore, that I gave the ring to Thanatos."

Lunchtime
In the Hogwarts kitchens underneath the Great Hall

Harry had invited Sirius Black and Narcissa Malfoy to lunch, along with Andromeda Tonks and Draco Malfoy (and Hermione, of course); "dress is casual."

For Sirius, the eating of the meal simply was a time to relax. But during this same hour, Narcissa clearly was not relaxed at all. Harry realised that with the Head of House Black at the table and the underage Head of House Malfoy at the table, for Narcissa the letter she had been handed was a Summons To Appear.

Harry spent the meal reassuring Narcissa. Severus Snape, Sirius and Andromeda all had spoken well of Narcissa, Harry told her; and Harry remarked that Draco nowadays was a good friend of good character, which spoke well for Narcissa as a mother.

Then Harry told Narcissa why he had asked her to come—

"Hermione and I are bonded soulmates, so one day we'll be married. When I'm Head of House Potter and Hermione and I are married, we'll be living in a fishbowl. But you've already lived that life, so you can advise us to a degree nobody else can. Today I ask you for your future help and advice, for both Hermione and me.

"Also, when I killed Voldemort, I killed seventy-seven Death Eaters in the same instant. Sixteen of those Death Eaters were Heads of House when they died, and Magic gave me those sixteen Houses, plus the Houses of Slytherin and Gaunt, by Right of Conquest. Fifteen new widows, including you, are now each Regent for a House, whilst I am the Heir and the underage Head of House. I ask you to be my liaison with the other fourteen Death Eater-house Regent-widows."

Narcissa said, "The first thing we'll ask is, What are your intentions with us? Until two days ago, our husbands were your enemies."

Harry said, "My first intention: Be assured that I don't consider any of the Death Eater widows, or the Death Eater children, to be my enemies. Next, all the Houses that I gained by Right of Conquest except for Slytherin, I intend to declare extinct."

Narcissa choked. "Extinct?"

"Yes. I won't choose an Heir from those Houses to follow me, either of my blood or theirs. So for instance, Draco should consider his life now to be as if he had two healthy older brothers. Draco's schooling still will be paid for, and he still may marry; but I will negotiate his betrothal, and Draco never will become Lord Malfoy."

Draco looked at his mother and at Harry with a pleading expression. "Can one of you please break my betrothal to Pansy?"

Hermione rolled her eyes, then explained to Sirius, "Pansy hangs all over Draco."

To Harry, Narcissa's smile looked like a smile of relief. "I think I can work with you, Heir Potter-Malfoy."

After lunch

Harry wrote a letter to the fifteen new Regent-widows of Death Eater Houses—

.

Two days ago, I killed Lord Voldemort, who was trying to regain a body. Killing Voldemort killed all of his minions (Death Eaters) who had taken the Dark Mark. Your husband was one of the Death Eaters who died two days ago. Magic has made me the underage Head of House for your House, by Right of Conquest. On 31st July 1997, I'll fully become Head of House; until then, you are Regent.

Be sure that I won't have sex with any Death Eater widow or any Death Eater daughter, because I've a soulmate and she's the only one I'll ever want to have sex with.

As I wrote above, you are now Regent for your House. I won't look over your shoulder, but the goblins will audit your books on 31st July 1997. Govern yourself accordingly.

Any kind of support for any blood-purity organisation, whether by giving it time, effort or money, I forbid. I'll make you a No-Name if you disobey me in this. Why? Because blood-purity talk offends me.

If you feel uncomfortable talking or writing directly to me, talk to Narcissa Black Malfoy, to Andromeda Black Tonks or to Severus Snape.

(signed) Harry James Potter, underage Head of House Potter, underage Head of eighteen other Houses by Right of Conquest

.

Harry made fifteen copies of the letter, but with different names in the salutation, and owled the letter to the Regent-widows of Houses Avery, Crabbe, Flint, Goyle, Macnair, Malfoy, Mulciber, Nott, Parkinson, Rookwood, Rowle, Scabior, Selwyn, Travers, and Yaxley. (Harry did not send a letter to the Lestrange widow, because all the members of the Lestrange family, including Lady Lestrange a.k.a Bellatrix Lestrange, were dead.)

Monday, 4th November, morning
Three days after Hermione received the memories

In a corridor, Harry was genuflecting, seemingly tying his shoe. Hermione was standing by him with her wand out, seemingly standing guard.

Bilious/Won-Won/Ron was walking closer. He was alone, because in this lifetime, Ron Weasley had no friends at Hogwarts.

Hermione whispered a spell: "Howler Molly, cancellation passphrase 'dish served cold.' "

When Bilious came close, he said coldly, "Do you even know how to use that thing, mudblood?"

Hermione retorted, "Are you still using your great-granddaddy's wand?"

Bilious stopped, scowled at Hermione and started to draw his wand—

Harry said calmly, "Move along, Bilious, before you get hurt."

"Two against one, Bilious," Hermione said, smiling cruelly.

Scowling Bilious walked away. As soon as he was no longer looking at Hermione, she whispered, "Engage."

A mustard-coloured spell left Hermione's wand, traveled one foot, then was absorbed by Bilious's green-and-silver robes. The spell seemingly had no effect.

At lunchtime, in the Great Hall

Harry and Hermione always had breakfast and lunch at the first-years part of the Ravenclaw table; so they were eating nearby when Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang both started to scream.

Those two second-year girls were having a string of bad luck. For the past three days, both girls had served detention with Filch; the rumour going round was that Flitwick had assigned those girls detentions with Filch till Yule Break.

And now, each girl had pimples on her forehead that spelled out the word "BULLY." Each seeing this on the other girl's forehead, then figuring out that the same word was on her own forehead, was why the two Ravenclaw bully-girls had begun making loud noise—

—which was soon joined by loud noise at the Slytherin table. Ron yelled, "PASS THE POTATOES." A pause, "I'M NOT YELLING, YOU BINT, I'M SPEAKING NORMALLY. NOW PASS ME THE BLOODY POTATOES!"

Professor Snape jumped up, ran over, and cast "Finite Incantatem" on the ginger-haired loser. Hermione kept silent and did not tell the professor that without the correct passphrase, his counterspell would not work. Meanwhile, Professor Flitwick was at the Ravenclaw table, likewise accomplishing nothing in removing the BULLY-pimples from Edgecombe and Chang.

About this time, Professor Snape went to Plan B: He put a Silencing Charm on Bilious.

Headmistress McGonagall accused the Weasley Twins of the double prank. They stood up and denied every part of the accusation. Then they declared, "If those two Ravenclaw girls have been bullying first- and second-year students, now they can expect a double dose of pranks. We, the Weasley Twins, avenge ourselves on bullies."

The odd thing for Hermione was, after Professor Snape returned to the High Table, he spent the rest of the meal staring over at Harry and Hermione, his face thoughtful.

Wednesday, 6 November

It had been two days since Hermione had pranked her other-lifetime potioneer and the two Ravenclaw bullies. Ron Weasley, Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang all had needed to be shipped to Saint Mungo's, in order for the spells on them to be cancelled. No professor had questioned Hermione—who, after all, was only a first-year student.

But whilst no professor had questioned Hermione, Professor Snape had spent much time at every meal, during the last two days, watching Harry and Hermione.

The same was true when Harry and Hermione, Professor Snape and Professor Tonks had their weekly Wednesday-afternoon tea: Professor Snape spoke less than usual, and watched Harry and Hermione more than usual. Hermione was so rattled that she asked Professor Tonks about Dora Tonks's work as an "Auror First Class"; Harry had to gently remind Hermione that Dora Tonks had another month still to go in the Auror Academy. Even worse, Hermione several times almost called Professor Snape "Headmaster Snape."

Hermione could not guess why Professor Snape was watching her so closely. If it were not daytime, and the moon were not in the wrong phase, Hermione would suspect that Professor Snape suspected Harry and her of being werewolves about to transform.

The next day: Thursday, 7 November, after lunch

As students and professors were scattering after lunch, Professor Snape said, "Mr Potter, Miss Granger, please come here."

When Harry and Hermione, both puzzled, walked up to the High Table, Professor Snape said to them, "I wish to discuss an important matter with you. When may I have a half-hour of your time?"

Thus it came to pass that Harry and Hermione knocked on the door to Professor Snape's office at 3:00 p.m.

"Enter," they were told.

3 p.m. in Snape's office

Before Professor Snape talked about whatever was on his mind, he magically double-locked the door to his office and put up three silencing charms. Harry and Hermione looked at each other with raised eyebrows.

Professor Snape began: "It took Saint Mungo's to remove the message from the foreheads of Miss Chang and Miss Edgecombe; and it took the Hogwarts faculty till today to discover how the deed was done. A potion was brewed, the main ingredient of which was powdered scorpion legs; then the brewed potion was served in a goblet that had some particular runes carved into it. The potion-work and the runes-work were each sixth-year level; and the prank itself showed multidisciplinary thinking."

"It's a masterpiece of a prank," Harry summarised.

Professor Snape nodded, then continued, "Today, only two seventh-year Slytherins and a seventh-year Ravenclaw could put this prank together, but they all deny doing so. Miss Granger, you have such an obvious motive for pranking those two girls, and you have so much demonstrated cleverness that, were you five years older, you now would be holding an uncomfortable conversation with the headmistress. But you are a first-year, so as far as the rest of the professors here are concerned, you are blameless."

Harry and Hermione looked at each other. Hermione said to Professor Snape, "But you think I whammied those two. Even though I'm still in the first half of my first year."

Professor Snape paused, perhaps to consider his words, then said, "I have known people who were arrogant. James Potter as a teenager was arrogant." Harry started to speak; Professor Shape held up a hand to silence him. "Lucius Malfoy was arrogant from the day I met him till the day he died. Arrogant people pretend a superiority they do not have. Your father, Mr Potter, grew out of his arrogance by seventh year; Lucius Malfoy never grew up."

"Okaaay?" Hermione said, unable to guess Professor Snape's point.

"You, Mr Potter, have confidence, which is something quite different. Because you are confident, you are kind and generous; but when angry, you seem lethal. You give off an attitude of 'If I need to kill someone, he will be killed.' Of all the survivors of the Blood War, only 'Mad-Eye' Moody has this air, or aura, or vibration—so how does a boy too young to shave, have the same deadly aura?"

Neither Harry or Hermione answered.

Professor Snape answered his own question: "Mr Potter, I believe you are a time-traveller who has taken a De-Aging Potion. I believe that your mind is older than your body, and that you are a veteran of a future war."

Harry and Hermione now were silently nervous.

Professor Snape said, "The reason I am telling you this is that in the last few days, Miss Granger likewise has begun to act more mature, and more confident, than someone would expect of a girl of twelve."

At last Harry spoke: "Bloody buggering bollocks."

An instant later

Harry replied, "Professor Snape, before Hermione or I tell you anything more, I demand a magical oath that you won't share what you learn today with anyone other than Hermione, the Sorting Hat and me, without my permission."

Snape's eyebrows shot up, but he made the oath. Hermione, whom Harry had noticed biting her lip from nervousness, now stopped biting it.

Harry next called for Wrinkly, who appeared with a pop and a respectful greeting. Snape's eyebrows definitely shot up now, and Harry easily could guess what Snape was thinking. How many Muggle-raised first-years would know that Hogwarts even had house-elves, much less would try to summon Wrinkly, the head Hogwarts house-elf, much less would try to summon Wrinkly and Wrinkly would actually come?

Harry said to Wrinkly, "Go fetch the Sorting Hat and bring it here." Pop. Pop. "Thank you, you may go." Pop.

Harry put the Sorting Hat on his head, just long enough to mentally say, "I'm about to pass you to Snape. You have my permission to share with him any of my memories that he wants to see—except don't tell him that I'm the Designated Secret Substitute."

"I won't give Severus even a hint," the Hat promised.

Harry then took off the Hat and held it out to Snape. But just as Snape took the Hat, Harry said, "In my previous lifetime, you and I had quite a different relationship than we do now. Ask the Hat to show you our first interaction, in September 1991, and our last interaction, in May 1998."

Snape put on the Hat, then his face went blank.

Hermione asked, "Is this the right thing to do, telling Professor Snape everything?"

"Almost everything—he won't find out that I'm the DSS. But to answer your question: Yes, I think I'm doing the right thing. And if Thanatos gets angry at me for breaking the spirit of the contract I signed—then oi, I'll take the hit. Sometime in the last few days, I decided that whilst I won't volunteer information to Snape or to Cousin Andromeda, I won't lie to them or to you, no matter what trouble this brings me."

Hermione hugged him. "Never once have I known Harry Potter to do the easy thing instead of the right thing."

Snape still was distracted by whatever the Hat was showing him. Harry leant forward and snogged Hermione mightily.

Over an hour later

Snape took off the Hat. His first words to Harry were, "The headmaster grievously wronged us both."

Harry snapped, "He also schemed to potion Hermione into marrying Bilious, to improve the Weasley bloodlines. So Dumbledore grievously wronged Hermione too."

Snape looked at Hermione. "Do you know what he's talking about?"

Hermione nodded. "You guessed correctly—I also have previous-lifetime memories, as of six days ago." Sombrely she added, "I died in May 1998, ten minutes after Harry died."

Then Hermione snarled. "But before the headmaster himself died, he played me like a violin. I spied on Harry, I turned my back on him twice when he needed me—and all those times, I was smooth-talked into believing I was acting 'for Harry's own good.' "

Snape nodded. "I learnt a long time ago that when the headmaster talked about my own good or 'the Greater Good,' it meant he was holding a knife in his hand."

Snape showed a tiny hint of a smile. "But now our former headmaster is swinging a pick underneath Gringotts. Which truly is 'for Harry's own good,' because Ragnok, unlike Fudge, won't be bribed to let criminals run free."

Hermione said, "Right now, Minister for Magic Fudge and Senior Undersecretary Umbridge won't do anything, except decompose. I don't know if you've heard, but they each had the Dark Mark on their bicep, not their forearm, so now they're both dead."

Harry said, "I will not tell lies, I'm not sorry the Umbitch is dead. As for Dumbledore, he's out of the limelight now, which I'm sure bothers him a hundred times more than does building up blisters on his hands."

Snape looked at Harry and said, "Changing the subject, Mr Potter: You tricked me when I visited you last July, but I thank you for it. You repaired my life. Because you asked me one clever question, I now am dating brilliant Amelia Bones, and I respect the man I see in the mirror."

Meanwhile
Somewhere within the gold mine underneath Gringotts London

Albus Dumbledore had a plan. At the moment he was swinging a pick to remove chunks of gold ore from a rock wall, but he had a plan.

Everyone else believed that Voldemort had died in 1981, but only Albus Dumbledore knew differently. Only Albus Dumbledore knew that Quirinus Quirrell was possessed by the wraith of Tom Riddle. Sooner or later Quirrell-slash-Riddle would attack Harry, Harry would die, and then the Prophecy would be fulfilled.

Until the Prophecy was fulfilled, anyone who fought Tom Riddle would suffer fatal bad luck. But after the Prophecy was fulfilled, Riddle could be killed by someone other than Harry Potter. And who would the sheeple demand that Riddle be killed by? Why, the "Defeater of Grindelwald"! The Ministry would make sure that the goblins released Albus from the mines; afterwards, the Ministry would agree to any terms that Albus set. Oh, life would be sweet then!

Still, Albus foresaw a minor problem with his plan: By the terms of the magical oath that he had taken, he had to repay G1 724 to Sirius Black by 1st January, or he would lose his magic. But Albus was sure that long before then, Harry Potter would be dead, Tom Riddle would be making trouble and Wizarding Britain would be panicked.

Eight days later: Friday, 15th November

When Headmistress McGonagall returned to the Headmistress's office after teaching third-year Transfiguration, she discovered three founder relics laying on her desk: Slytherin's Locket, Ravenclaw's Diadem, and Hufflepuff's Cup.

No note was present to explain how the three relics suddenly had appeared on her desk.

When McGonagall summoned the Spirit of Hogwarts, the headmistress was told that the Spirit knew the full story but, "following orders from the founders," the Spirit of Hogwarts could not tell McGonagall anything.

In the years to come, many explanations would be put forth, of how these three relics had disappeared and how the relics suddenly had reappeared. By the time Harry and Hermione were seventh-years, the stories had become laughably outlandish.

Friday, 15th November-Saturday, 23rd November

Whenever Bilious walked into the Great Hall to eat a meal, as soon as he passed through the doors, he began oinking like a pig.

For eight days, every time the professors thought they had stopped the prank, it would resume with Bilious's next meal. For eight days, the professors were annoyed, the students were pointing and laughing, and Bilious was red-eared with embarrassment. However, Bilious's table manners did not improve.

Again the Weasley Twins denied pulling the prank. In fact, they called the prank "bloody brilliant" and admitted to envying the prankster.

When the Weasley Twins said this, Professor Snape stared straight at Hermione and scowled.

A month later
Sunday, 22nd December
The Winter Solstice/Yule

Sirius married Heather Tidwell, his Muggle-born-witch girlfriend who worked at Obliviator Headquarters.

Sirius explained his thinking for the wedding date this way: "First, Yule is a day with extra magical power. Secondly, and much more importantly, our wedding night will be the longest night of the year!"

Amelia Bones sent the couple a tasteful wedding gift (a crystal punch bowl), but did not attend the wedding.

Harry spent close to G100 buying new clothes for the wedding. One reason he bought so many new clothes was because Harry's godfather and guardian was getting married, and Harry wearing poorly fitting clothes would reflect badly on Sirius. The second reason for all the clothes-shopping was that Harry had been taking healing potions and growth potions since July; Harry was now second-tallest of all the first-year boys. The clothes that Snape had bought for Harry at Little Whinging Shopping Centre, back in July, now were way too small for Harry.