"OHHH YES! WELCOME BEAUTIES…TO TODAY'S QUIZ SHOW!"
Spotlights engulfed the lab. Two disco balls dropped from the lighting fixtures and engulfed the three into multicolored lights. Confetti fell from somewhere. Dipper knew that he was not going to like whatever happened next.
"OH BOY! I CAN ALREADY TELL IT'S GONNA BE A GREAT SHOW!" said the robot. "EVERYONE GIVE A BIG HAND TO OUR WONDERFUL CONTESTANTS!"
A fake, monotone clapping noise echoed from the robot's soundboard as more confetti poured onto them.
"NEVER PLAYED BEFORE GORGEOUS? THE RULES ARE SIMPLE. ANSWER CORRECTLY." said the robot. "OR YOU DIE!
Mettaton attacks.
"LET'S START WITH AN EASY ONE!" said Mettaton. "WHAT'S THE PRIZE FOR ANSWERING CORRECTLY?"
"Uh…" said Dipper. "A new car?"
"THAT IS INCORRECT!"
A lightning-bolt shaped bullet shot from Mettaton's microphone and collided with Dipper's Soul.
"Are you okay?" Mabel asked.
"I'm fine," said Dipper. "Not sure how many of those I can take. We're gonna have to be smart about answering them."
"Alright," said Mabel. "Making things up is my specialty!"
"GLAD TO HEAR IT GORGEOUS!" said Mettaton. "HERE'S YOUR PRIZE: WHAT IS THE KING'S FULL NAME?"
Dipper actually remembered that one. Papyrus had said it, Undyne had said it, and the turtle that sold them things had said it even though he insisted on calling him "Ol' King Fluffybuns".
"Asgore Dreemurr!" said Dipper.
"CORRECT! WHAT A TERRIFIC ANSWER!"
"I was going to say Doctor Friendship…" said Mabel.
"NOW ENOUGH ABOUT YOU. LET'S TALK ABOUT ME! WHAT ARE ROBOTS MADE OF?"
"Metal and magic!" said Mabel.
That one had come pretty quickly, but Dipper figured that it was easy to guess.
"HERE'S AN EASY ONE FOR YOU: TWO TRAINS, TRAIN A AND TRAIN B, SIMULTANEOUSLY DEPART STATION A AND STATION B. STATION A AND STATION B ARE 252.5 MILES APART FROM ONE ANOTHER. TRAIN IS IS MOVING AT 124.7 MILESPERHOURTOWARDSSTATIONBAND TRAINBISMOVING-AT253.5MILESPERHOURTOWARSSTATIONAIFBOTHTRAINSDEPARTEDAT10:0AMANDITISNOW10:09HOWMUCHLONGERUNTILBOTHTRAINSPASSEACHOTHER?"
"32.058 minutes!" said Mabel.
Dipper had no idea how he could even solve that one, let alone Mabel.
"NEARLY RAN OUT THE CLOCK THERE, GORGEOUS! BUT THAT IS CORRECT!"
"You spent the entire time asking the question!" said Dipper.
"DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE BACK YOUR CORRECT ANSWER?" Mettaton asked.
"We're good!" Both the twins said.
"EXCELLENT! BECAUSE FROM HERE ON OUT THEY'RE ONLY GOING TO GET HARDER FROM HERE!" said Mettaton."NEXT QUESTION: HOW MANY FLYS ARE IN THIS JAR?"
"54!" said Mabel.
"WHAT MONSTER IS THIS?"
"Mettaton!"
"BUT CAN YOU GET THIS ONE? WOULD YOU SMOOCH A GHOST?"
"Heck yeah!"
"WHAT A GOOD ANSWER! I LOVE IT!" said Mettaton. "NEXT QUESTIONS: HOW MANY LETTERS ARE IN THE NAME METATTON NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN…"
"56!"
"That is correct!"
"How are you getting all of these?" Dipper asked.
"Alphys is telling me," said Mabel. "But the smooch a ghost one was all me!"
Alphys froze.
"ALPHYS…" said Mettaton. "WERE YOU HELPING THE CONTESTANT?"
"U-u-uh, I was—" Alphys stammered.
"THAT'S ALRIGHT," said Mettaton. "I'LL GIVE THEM AN ANSWER YOU'RE SURE TO KNOW THE ANSWER TO! WHO DOES DOCTOR ALPHYS HAVE A CRUSH ON?"
The two twins froze.
"Could we…not answer that one?" Dipper asked.
Entry no. 34
During our game of multi-dimensional chess, Bill mentioned something interesting. A Kingdom of Monsters. He seemed hesitant to discuss more; although it seemed more out of ignorance than ill-will. After some prying, he managed to bring up some key points. Sometime before Gravity Falls was inhabited, humans lived with monsters. A war broke out between the two races, leading to the monsters becoming imprisoned underneath a magic suppressing barrier. Bill mentioned that he had tried to enter the kingdom several times to look for someone to help him build the portal, but he kept being chased out by some "annoying dog".
Whether or not he meant to, Bill has just made a phenomenal breakthrough with my research. Is this Kingdom of Monsters the source of all weirdness in Gravity Falls? Or even the world? Maybe there can be a direct link between the monsters in the forest and the monsters underground. Furthermore, if Bill really wanted to find a scientific mind in the kingdom of monsters, there could be someone else working on a portal right now. Someone else I could compare notes with!
I expect the portal will be finished soon. Perhaps once Bill can enter our dimension, I can welcome him to Earth properly with a little hike.
It was much later, after the quiz show and after a cooking show and after a news show, when sans made himself known and invited Dipper to dinner.
"where's that sister of yours?" he asked.
"Well…"
"'A tragic tale of two lovers, torn apart by the tides of fate'…" Mabel read off of the poster in front of her. "That sounds right up my alley!"
She ignored the fact that 75% of the poster was Mettaton's face. It would be nice to see him actually acting, and not just the elaborate set pieces he set up when he wanted to kill them. She would have to make a mental note to come back and catch it once Mettaton had calmed down a bit.
Mabel was so lost in thought that she did not notice where she was walking next. She stopped as she noticed she was on stage.
"Oh," said Mabel as realization dawned on her.
"OH? COULD IT BE…" Mettaton's voice echoed through the stage. "MY ONE TRUE LOVE?"
Mettaton descended down the fake balcony with all the grace of a vacuum cleaner. The song's opening covered most of it up. He dropped the hem of his bright blue ballgown and began to sing.
That was when Mabel knew that this was really right up her alley.
"guess it doesn't really matter," said sans. "so, find out anything else about that flower?"
The atmosphere grew suddenly very heavy. Dipper swallowed before he spoke.
"We found it in the Ruins," said Dipper. "It's this little gold flower named Flowey—"
"really?" said sans. "couldn't think of a better name?"
"I didn't name it!" Dipper said. "It calls itself that!"
"alright. tell me more about flowey mc flower face."
"Well, when we left the Ruins, he talked about a lot of weird things," said Dipper. "Stuff like how he was the one that would inherit this world...and how we weren't the ones he was looking for…sans, how many humans have been in the Underground before us?"
"haven't you heard undyne, kid?" sans asked. "there've been six humans in the underground. not including you two."
"And is that where you got the lamps?" Dipper asked.
sans fell silent.
"Look, if we're going to work together, we need to be 100% honest with each other," Dipper said. "I won't…judge you if you did something bad. Just be honest with me."
Sans did not say anything for a moment. Just when Dipper was about to speak up again, he chuckled lowly.
"don't judge anyone, you say? kid, that's a good one and you don't even know why yet," said sans. "alright. there have been a total of 12 humans in the underground. i've seen six. just not at the same time."
"So there's a way out of the Underground then?" Dipper asked.
"sure there is. but that's not what i'm talking about," said sans.
"Well, what do you know about the other humans?"
"i'd say most weren't older than you," said sans. "all came from the ruins, all left through new home. all came at about the same time. don't know what happened to them. don't think they knew why they were here, either."
"Well, do you think that flower might have something to do with it?" Dipper asked.
"don't know. never seen 'em before," said sans after a minute. "well, if nothing else, this run's been good for information. anything else you need to know?"
Dipper opened his mouth for a minute. But there was not anything else he could think to ask.
"great," said sans. "if you get to the castle, i won't stop you. but try and think about what you're getting into, alright?"
It was only when sans got to the fichus in the corner that Dipper found what he wanted to ask next.
"What do you mean, 'this time'? You keep talking about 'this time' and 'these runs', like you've already seen all this before!" said Dipper. "What are you trying to hide? I won't be able to help you if you don't tell me everything!"
"listen, kid," said sans. "it's not gonna matter. even if i do tell you everything, you're just gonna disappear again. and there'll be another kid waiting for me at my station. or maybe something worse. i've given up trying to change this."
Dipper's mouth hung open as he tried to think of what to say. Everything that sans said ran through his head. And then he realized.
"You're a time traveler?"
The light in sans' eyesockets went dark. He did not say anything.
"Why didn't you just say that?" Dipper asked. "Maybe we can help you! Are you with the same agency as Blendin? Is there actually a Time Baby?"
"well," said sans. "you're close. if there's a time traveler, it's not me."
Dipper probably had more experience with time travel than the average person, but it was still limited. There was stuff in the journals and the science fiction books he read, but most of what he really remembered came from the 80's movies Mabel watched. There was one he remembered quite well, about the crabby man who was stuck in the same day repeating over and over.
"Oh," said Dipper, because he was not sure what else he could say.
"if that's all you have to say, kid, then i better head out," said sans. "it's almost papyrus' bedtime, and he gets cranky without a bedtime story."
"We'll find a way to fix this," said Dipper. "Mabel and I. We have, uh…experience with this kind of thing."
"i mean, you probably won't," said sans. "but thanks anyway."
He walked past the fichus in the corner and disappeared.
It took Dipper longer to leave. Too much was going through his head, not just about what sans had said but how he looked when he said it. He was going to have to set things right. There was no way around it.
When he did stumble out, he was surprised to find Mabel.
"Hey Dipper!" Mabel said. "I just finished up Mettaton's play! How was your date with sans?"
It barely fazed Dipper to hear it called a date. His mind was on too many other things.
"Do you remember what the Journal said about time travel?" Dipper asked.
"Hmm…I'm not sure about the Journal, but there was that Blendin' guy," Mabel said.
"That's what I was thinking too," said Dipper. "No matter how we get back home, we need to remember to find a way to contact him."
"Sounds like a plan!" Mabel said. "I'll make a note of it in this cool notebook I bought from the turtle!"