"Now who is this Sirius Black?" asked my muggle mother as we walked down the corridor to King's Cross Station.
"He's a support of You-Know-Who, the dark wizard I told you about. He's escaped from prison, he's the first person to ever do so."
"Right well," she says, listening to me intently. "That's unfortunate."
I had told her this several times. She tries her best, my mum. She has really taken this 'daughter is a witch thing' in stride, something I've become more and more grateful as I learned more about the experiences of other muggle-borns I went to work with. King's Cross Station was very busy and I regularly caught glimpses of my Hogwarts peers with their large carts and cloaks.
Prior to realizing I had been a witch, I had been to King's Cross Station many times to take the train to Edinburgh. My dad's grandparents lived in Edinburgh at the time and I spent my time walking down the cobbled streets searching for haggis in its various forms. I never knew, until much later, that my grandparents were wizards themselves. Looking back, I can see the simple spells they'd do secretly, the odd assortment of magical artifacts I never thought twice about.
"I worry about you so much," my mother tells me this as we stand in front of the disguised entryway to Platform 9 ¾.
"I worry about you too, mom. I know it's hard being on your own with dad…" I trail off. I can't bring myself to finish that sentence.
"I know."
We stare at each other and smile. She tucks my hair behind my ear and holds my chin in your hand. I love her so much that I can feel the stinging behind my eyes.
"I love you." I say
"And I love you," She says right back.
We hold each other tight and then finally, I walk through the brick wall and then I am amongst other witches and wizards. The excitement of being back for my fifth year at Hogwarts almost took away the aching I had for my mother. I shook off thoughts of her living alone in our tiny flat in London. Instead, I searched for Fred and George. It doesn't take long for me to find the Weasleys twins. The iconic red hair looming above the crowds.
"There she is!" calls George as I start walking towards them.
Next to them, Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Herminone are standing and chatting. I wave an awkward hello to them, still feeling the stinging behind my eyes.
"How do you feel," asked Hermione, "about starting your fifth year? I've already started to prepare for your O. ."
"I've been studying all summer. I worked a few odd jobs and was able to hire a tutor. Just to be safe, y'know? So much depends on this!"
"Merlin's beard, Olivia. We've only just got on the platform. There is no need to give us another speech about this." Fred rolls his eyes at me.
Unlike the Weasleys, preparing for the O.W.L.S. preoccupied much of my free time. The only family I had in the wizarding world - my dad and grandparents - have seemingly vanished. I had no help to get started. No connections. No guidance. As a muggle-born, I needed to outperform, out work, outshine my peers. Nailing my O.W.L.S. was the first step to having the money I needed to track down my family.
On the train to Hogwarts, I saw the devil.
At least, it felt like the devil. It felt like evil. The dementors - as Fred and George explained to me - had the ability to suck the soul out of your body. To steal the happiness right from you.
"It's pretty awful. It's why they're all over Azkaban. Hard to escape when the happiness has been sucked right out of you," explained Fred.
"Sounds like a lobotomy," I said.
"You're taking in Muggle again." George said with a smirk.
"Really, George? A lobotomy is not like a Muggle-only thing. It was a popular medical procedure back in the day. They'd slice off a part of your brain, making you lose your entire sense of self. You become just a shell of a person."
"Right well, the muggle world is absolutely terrifying and I will hear no more of it!" said Fred.
When we got to Hogwarts, it was clear that things were different. Fred and George made sure to walk Ginny to the Gryffindor Common Room after the events of last year but she was a brave, bold girl. She came back to Hogwarts with the intention to achieve more, not be clouded by the events of last year.
"Olivia!" called a voice from behind me.
Lee Jordan, one of the twin's closest friends besides myself, was sprinting over to me. I liked Lee; his family wasn't too far from mine in London. We even got coffee together and studied for our O.W.L.S. a few times over summer. By the time Lee reached me, he scooped me up and spun me around.
While I felt close to Lee, I didn't realize we were that close. Neither, by the looks of their faces, did Fred or George.
"So good to see you, Liv!" Lee said.
"Likewise, Lee!" I exclaimed, matching his energy to not make the whole romantic spin move awkward.
"Haven't seen you in what, three weeks? Kind of a long gap for us!"
I wish he hadn't said it. I had felt a little weird meeting up with Lee without Fred and George. Even though we got along great, I always felt like we would have never been friends had it not been for needing to pair up when Fred and George did.
"You two have been hanging out without us? I'm hurt!" said George with a wink.
"Well don't cry too much," I said, "we live close to each other in London. I forced him to study for his O.W.L.S."
Fred didn't meet my eyes when I looked at him. Lee threw his arm around my shoulder and I inwardly winced. I caught Fred look at Lee's arm around me before he took a few long strides with his long legs, leaving Lee and I trailing behind.