"Now seems like a great chance to prepare for the enemy," said Ralsei, guiding the heroes to the training dummy. "Would you like me to teach you to fight?"
"We've fought before," said Wirt.
"Right," said Ralsei. "You already fought Lancer, didn't you?"
He had been so excited to teach them, and he totally blanked! He had even made them a manual! Ralsei buried his snoot into his scarf, trying to hide his embarrassment.
"But maybe a refresher won't hurt," said Coraline. "I don't really know how to use this sword."
Ralsei perked up at that. Good! He hadn't completely ruined everything yet!
"Okay!" said Ralsei. "Get ready, everyone!"
The Fight began. The heroes' Souls manifested in a flash of bright colors. Ralsei was expecting it, of course, but he was still caught off-guard by just how bright they were. Not just the dull grey of Darkeners and Monsters, and not just the d̶e̶t̵e̸r̸m̷i̵n̴e̸d̵ red that his books depicted human Souls with. It seemed every color of the rainbow was there.
"That's your Soul, the very culmination of your being," said Ralsei. "With it holds your Will, your Compassion…and the Fate of this world. If it gets hit, you and your friends will lose HP. If everyone's HP reaches 0, we'll lose the battle. So please take care to avoid attacks. Ready? Let's try dodging!"
The bullet pattern he installed into the Dummy was simple by design. Still, he was quite impressed by how easily the humans were able to dodge the attack.
"Good job, everyone!" said Ralsei. "After the enemy attacks, it's our turn! Each one of you has special Action that will help you in battle. Let's start with Dipper and Mabel. Your abilities are both designed to deal damage. But don't worry about hurting them too much! Once the enemy loses enough HP, they'll get Tired and not want to fight anymore."
At first, the twins looked a little uncertain at his words. Did they not believe him? Could he have clarified himself a bit more? Their expressions changed once Mabel took her turn. Her attack was made of bullet magic, but like her Soul it was a vibrant violet color. At first, it was only one simple, five-pointed star, but as it made contact with the Dummy, it burst into smaller stars that spread out on the battlefield.
Dipper was next. He was even more hesitant to his sister, reaching for his Portal Gun with shaking hands. Like his sister, only one bullet emerged from the gun, a three-triangle design that looked just like the tree on his hat. Unlike Mabel's, it was huge, nearly as tall as Ralsei was. The Dummy shuddered as it was struck.
"Dipper's attack does more damage, but Mabel's attack will attack multiple enemies at once. But like I said before, Fighting is generally unnecessary in this world, so let's not take the fight too far," said Ralsei. "Let's focus on Defending next. If you Defend against an enemy, the attack will hurt less, and you'll gather TP. Anyone can Defend, but you'll usually lose your chance to take any other action. That's where Coraline and Wirt's abilities come in handy. They can defend someone else while they act. So let's try it!"
The Dummy's attacks focused on Mabel. Coraline rushed towards Mabel, kneeling before her and baring her sword. The bullets bounced off uselessly against the metal.
Next was Greg. Wirt took Coraline's lead and ran in front of Greg. The light of his lantern burned through the bullets as they approached.
"Good job! Defending abilities are pretty useful if you want to use someone else's ability," said Ralsei. "But now, we've collected TP. That means we can use someone else's abilities. Greg, your ability allows you to heal someone else. Go ahead and try it out!"
Greg took off his elephant hat, reached inside, and tossed candy at his teammates. It healed 20 HP!
"Once an enemy is tired, Norman's ability can put it to sleep. My spells will also heal teammates and put them to sleep. So don't worry about using your turn on just your abilities," said Ralsei. "In addition to your abilities, every enemy will have a different Action you can use on them. Even the most violent enemies can be defeated through various acts of kindness! This world is full of all kinds of people. In the end, how we treat them makes all the difference. So let's try our best to get by without Fighting. If we can manage to do that…I believe this tale may have a happy ending. Otherwise, I fear that…you may not…find the result favorable…"
He was so lost in thought that he did not noticed the looks the heroes shared with each other at first.
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Ralsei. "Is that too much to ask?"
"We can handle it," said Wirt. The others nodded.
Ralsei felt his Soul flutter.
"I knew you all were heroes the moment I saw you," said Ralsei. "Let's all do our best, okay?"
Susie never wanted to be a hero. She didn't want to be teleported to some fantasy world, and she certainly didn't want to do it with some humans.
Those humans freaked her out. Of course, she could always eat their faces off, but that did not change how no one in the class seemed to flinch at the five new students that showed up without any warning. That did not change that there were now humans in a monster town. That did not change how they seemed to be just as confused as to why they were there as Susie was.
It wasn't any of her business anyway. She never wanted to be a hero.
Susie shoveled more broken cake into her mouth as she turned her attention to the door. It was definitely locked by a puzzle. She had never been any good at puzzles.
"Come on, you stupid door—"
"Susie! We were ever so worried about you!"
And those guys were back.
"How'd you get past those spikes before?" the one with the weird hat, Wirt, if she cared enough to remember, asked.
"Walked though 'em," said Susie.
"That's cool!" said the kid with the admittedly cool-looking elephant hat.
"But I can't do it with this door," said Susie. "It sucks."
"It'll open once we solve that puzzle over there," said the weird prince. What was their name, again? Ą̴̚ ̴̫̔s̵͖̾ ̷̤̍ŕ̷̜ ̶̝͠ȋ̶͙ ̸̜͐e̸͕̕ -
No, Susie did not care enough to think of the answer.
"Cool," said Susie. "Let me know when you guys solve it."
"We kinda need your help," said the kid with the cool elephant hat. "The puzzle's designed for nine people."
"Sometimes, proceeding will take all of us," said the toothpaste kid. "Plus, we'll need a monster to seal the Fountain of Darkness. So if you don't accompany us, you won't make it home!"
"…So you're saying I have to follow you, then?" said Susie.
"Yep!" said the elephant-hat.
Susie barely restrained a growl. The last thing she wanted to do was spend even more time with these weird humans and their weird prince friend. Then again, the second-to-last thing she wanted to do was keep staring at this door…
"Fine, whatever," she said. "Let's just get this over with."
"Yahoo!" said the toothpaste kid. "Susie's back on the team! Cue the fanfare!"
She was not sure where the fanfare came from, only that it weirded her out more than anything else that had happened. She took a few steps back, so no one could tell she was associated with these clowns.
The puzzle was not that hard once there were more people. All she had to do was step on the stone, which was the only thing she had enough interest in doing. Honestly, it seemed a little too easy. Almost as if it were designed for three people instead of eight.
Come to think of it, wasn't there only three people in that supposed prophecy? One human, one monster, and one prince? Then why were there e̷i̴g̴h̴t̷ ̸o̴f̶ ̵t̵h̴e̶m-
"Oh, I just realized that Susie missed the tutorial," said the toothpaste kid. "Next battle, let's make sure she knows how to Act. I think she might really enjoy that!"
When did they go back into the other room? And why was there a little checker-piece with a smiley face in their way?
C. Round violently attacks!
"Aw, he's just a friendly guy!" said the girl in the sweater. "Let's try complimenting him!"
"What?" said Susie. "It attacked us. Let's smash it before it moves."
"It seems nice enough," said the girl with the raincoat. "If we act nice, we might win without hurting it."
Were these guys for real? Why the hell would she ever do that? And to think she was actually worried about these humans…
Fine. If they wanted her to act nice, she could play along. This was going to be fun.
"…okay, okay," said Susie. "Hey, little guy. I really like the ax in your face."
She threw her ax as hard as she could. It collided with the checker-piece. By the handle, disappointingly, but still with enough force to send it flying.
"Where'd you get it?" said Susie.
"Um…Susie…" said the toothpaste kid, burrowing into his scarf to avoid talking to her.
"You didn't have to be that mean," said the weird kid in the normal hat.
"That thing was vicious," said Susie. "It's better we weed them all out now than worry about it later."
"Maybe," said the kid with spiky hair. "But at that rate, won't you just end up hurting everyone?"
"Got me this far," said Susie.
"And you just spend the last half hour staring at a door," said the kid with spiky hair.
"This isn't getting us anywhere," said the girl in the sweater. "How about you just…go easy? That way Norman or Ralsei can use Pacify, and we can end things peacefully."
"I still gotta follow you to get home, right?" said Susie.
"Yup," said the normal kid in the weird hat.
"Fine. Whatever," said Susie. "But don't complain to me when that backfires and you end up getting thrashed."
There were plenty of things out there in the world that were meaner than her. It was not her job to make sure they stayed safe. She wasn't a hero.
In this world, it was kill or be killed. It was hurt or get hurt. And she was not going to wait around to get hurt.
The heroes had already made it across the Great Board. But Lancer had a plan. What the purple monster (not the purple human, but she seemed pretty cool too) had said about him not seeming scary enough really stuck with him. This time, he'd prove just how scary he could be! He brought a bucket and everything!
"So you've already made it across the Great Board," said Lancer, doing his best to sound intimidating. "Impressive. So it's a shame…you won't make it a step further! 'Cause my guys are about to smash you into blood! Lots of blood! Splooshing blood! Very gross and bad!"
He cackled. He had been working on a new, scary laugh, too. The lightning bolt really sold the image.
"Hey purple monster girl!" said Lancer. "Was that scarier?"
The purple monster girl did not look as menacing when she was caught off-guard.
"Why are you asking me?" said the purple monster girl.
"Because you're really good at being terrifying!" said Lancer. "I wanna be as scary as you!"
"You…wanna be like me?" said the purple monster girl.
"Sure!"
"Well, that's stupid," said the purple monster girl. "But uh…the new laugh isn't as awful. And saying you'd turn us into blood is uh…cool...what's u with the bucket, though?"
"It's to put the blood in," said Lancer. "I'm not, uh, supposed to be making a mess."
"So, are you gonna be attacking us?" said the blue human with the cool hat.
"Oh! Yeah!" said Lancer. "…I was so excited I forgot to bring any guys. But next time, it'll be the end for…you know, I've just been calling you guys clowns. Do you guys have names?"
"Oh, we should give our team a name!" said the fluffy boy.
"No we shouldn't," said the purple monster girl.
"I mean," said the orange kid with the equally cool hat. "We've just kinda been calling ourselves the Mystery Kids…does that work?"
"Solving mysteries sounds like a lot of work," said Lancer. "Wouldn't you rather be the Lancer Fan Club?"
"Yeah!" said the green kid with the cool elephant hat and the purple kid who wasn't a monster.
"We'll pass," said the orange kid.
"Well, Lancer Fan Club," said Lancer. "I should probably warn you that you better turn back while you can. Some extremely dangerous is lying ahead! Hohoho! It's actually really inconvenient!"
Behind them, C. Round crossed the board.
"Oh, it's just the little guy," said the purple human girl. "What trouble could he cause?"
"Well, usually…"
The crown descended from the heavens. It landed upon C. Round's top edge. C. Round was Kinged.
"It crushes people, I think," said Lancer.
*Here come K. Round!
"Uh…hi, little guy," said Mabel. "You probably know this, but you should really watch out for—"
Susie swung her ax, striking him in the face.
"SUSIE!" said Mabel.
"Hey, that thing is bloodthirsty," said Susie.
The little guy—well, big guy now—looked upset and stressed. He reached into…somewhere, and chugged down a carton of milk.
*K. Round practiced self-care! Attack and HP went up!
"Wow, I'm so proud of him," said Mabel, stopping short as she dodged K. Round's attack.
"We won't get anywhere fighting him, Mabel," said Ralsei. "We should try something else!"
"His crown, right?" said Coraline. "That's what made him power up. Maybe we can get it off!"
"Great idea, Coraline!" said Ralsei. "Let's try Acting!"
Ralsei took a deep bow. K. Round followed suit, but the shuffle he did made the crown on his head shift about. The crown was 20% loose.
"Susie," said Ralsei. "Help us bow at him!"
"Nah," said Susie. "Its crown will come…when I smash this guy into the ground!"
The others attempted a bow, but Susie brushed past them to attack. K. Round was so distracted in his bow that he forgot to look up and dodge Susie's attacks. Ralsei tried his best not to scream. This really was not turning out the way he had h̸̯o̷̮̚ṕ̷̧ę̷̕d̸͔̚!
"This is getting us nowhere," said Wirt.
"I have an idea!" said Dipper.
He took his turn to attack. But rather than fire his Portal Gun at K. Round, he aimed a little higher. The Pine Buster collided directly with the crown and shot it off. In seconds, K. Round was back to his friendly C. Round size, and rolled off the board sadly.
"Wow!" said Lancer. "You clowns really are heroes! You just saved the next twenty minutes of my life!"
"Yeah," said Susie. "Yeah! I guess I am pretty great!"
"Umm, Susie," said Ralsei. "Not to downplay your contributions, but—"
"You didn't do anything!" said Mabel. "In fact, you made it even worse!"
"If you had just acted nice to it in the first place…" said Norman.
"What? Are you for real?" said Susie. "The only thing keeping it at bay was my ax!"
"Then what about those troops?" said Coraline.
"They're enemies," said Susie. "They're for terrorizing!"
"And before that, you ate an innocent person's cake," said Greg.
"Cakes are also my enemy," said Susie.
Ralsei did not want them to be too mean to her. After all, they were all heroes. But what could he say that the others weren't already saying?
"Susie, whether you like it or not," said Ralsei. "You're a hero. One with the power to bring peace to the future. Could you please…start acting like one?"
For a moment, he thought he had been too harsh. But Susie seemed to seriously consider his words.
"Yeah, when you lay it out like that…I've been a pretty bad hero, haven't I?" said Susie. "Alright. I get it. I'll change my ways."
"R—really?" said Ralsei.
"From now on, I won't be such a rotten hero anymore," said Susie. "I'll just be one of the bad guys instead!"
"R-really?" said Lancer. "You're going to be on my team?"
"Sounds way easier, honestly," said Susie.
"That's great!" said Lancer. "We're gonna have monogrammed track jackets and everything!"
"Yeah!"
"And sleepovers where we tell each other secrets!"
"Sure?"
"Anyway, uh…" said Lancer. "See you guys never."
"Haha!" said Susie. "If you can even last that long!"
With an evil laugh, the Dark Mystery Kids turned and left.
"Maybe I was too harsh with her…" said Ralsei, wringing his paws.
"I think we need to be harsher to her," said Wirt.
"I just worry that if Susie is too eager to fight…then…"
No. Ralsei did not want to think of the consequences.
"Well," said Ralsei, trying his best to remain cheerful. "Let's just be kind to her, okay? I'm sure Susie'll come around!"
He wasn't sure. But it was better than fretting over it. He had to s̶t̷a̶y̴ ̸d̶e̴t̶e̴r̵m̴i̵n̶e̷d̸ for his teammates, after all!
!— Frisk: By the way. Az?-
!— Az: What? -
!— Frisk: I thought your name was Flowey. -
!—Az: …-
!—Az: Who cares. It's just a stupid name. -
!— Frisk: I don't think it's stupid. -
!—Az: …-
Author's Notes: You don't have to fight in this world, but I figured that, if this were an actual game, the combat system would be pretty lame if you had eight party members and all they could do is Act. So we'll just pretend that it's okay to Attack and it won't get you the Bad End at all...which is what I did when I first played Deltarune (I thought warning people of Susie's attacks meant that you had to keep warning each turn for each of her attacks, and I said screw that)