Good morning. Today I bring the last part of Chapter number 13. At least, you'll know something (not too much, you will see) from Balinor's Past. Only from the things that Telvar knows, so there's much behind it. Enjoy it.

I'm not own from Merlin.

"It all started in this very shed when I was only fifteen years old. That was a long time ago, but I still remember leaving the shed at dawn, as I always did every morning to cut down trees and then sell them in the village below, and meet the figure of a baby tucked into dirty rags on the forest floor. I didn't know how he could have gotten there, but the first thing I did was welcome him into my house and warm him up, for God knew how long he had been out there, as cold as it was. All night, maybe.

Fortunately, he lived, and I didn't know how he could survive such a thing. And that's when I realized the baby was really strong.

I didn't know who his parents could come from, but either because I doubted he had good parents (in any case they had left him abandoned in the woods, for God's sake) or because I really wanted to have some company and take care of someone. The desire and some selfishness could have me by wanting to stay with the child.

And that's how it all started. I raised him with all the love that a boy of my age could, with all his heart. If I lost him, I'd lose my life. And so, I got attached to the baby in just five months. And I did what I rarely did: I named it. Yes, I'm that kind of man who prefers not to name things if necessary. But in this case, it was, because I felt that the child was like my son. And I really expected him to see him as a father, despite my age.

I named him after my late father: Balinor."

"Did you put Balinor's name?" asked Merlin, truly impressed, but without believing everything Telvar told him.

"Yes, I did. I don't know his real name, but the thing is, his name wasn't put on by his real parents but by me."

Merlin did not respond, which caused Telvar to understand that he could go on.

"When he grew up, Balinor treated me, as I expected, as his real father. But after a while, not having as much age difference between us, we started a relationship more between friends than a father-son relationship.

What I could see from Balinor was that he wasn't an ordinary child. The first thing I saw, and I wasn't too surprised either, seeing what he was like and his abilities, was that he had magic. From a very young age, at just a few months old, he made butterflies appear on his palms when he was cheerful or weakly burning something when he got angry.

That was something that impressed something, but not much compared to the next thing I discovered from him. When he was old enough to talk and walk, at an early age of about two years, I noticed that his behavior was quite peculiar."

"What do you mean peculiar?" asked Merlin with some impatience.

"With peculiar I mean that many times, I heard him talk to himself, imagine things, talk to me about things he didn't understand, and so on. But what bit me the most about the curiosity of this rare matter was of his strong emotions, capable of doing anything. Yes, maybe you'll tell me the same thing happened to you too, but there was something different about it, believe me. In addition to causing catastrophes with his strong emotions (which used to be common things, because I realized that the child felt different emotions in a short time), he behaved with them in a way that, I have to say, was scary."
Merlin realized that Telvar possessed the same expression in those eyes as when he had yelled at him, but more set in the past and in the memories and not something momentary. But, and if...

"Telvar," Merlin interrupted gently, "Do you know if that behavior of my father resembled mine a few moments ago?

Telvar scrutinized him with those wise, experienced eyes, which seemed to see beyond. After a time that Merlin was made endless because of his longings and impatience to know the answer, Telvar nodded and answered faintly, in a broken voice:

"Similar, yes."

Then Merlin understood. That's why he seemed to look at it that way. Telvar had previously witnessed those behaviors or acts in his father, and seeing them in him might seem horrific, like having a terrible déjà vu.

Merlin gesturally indicated to Telvar to continue.

"That's how the years went by. Not as a father-son, but as friends. But the day came when we went to the village next door to sell the wood when something happened that made Balinor flee. I'm not going to comment on what happened, because I'm not the one who should tell it.

And so, he fled, thinking of killing himself. I've been desperately looking for him, but I had no luck. As they later told me, Balinor was going to jump out of a ravine just as a group of Camelot knights came, including Prince Uther. From that moment on, they told me that Balinor and Uther became inseparable friends.

I went to Camelot to seek advice from my friend Gaius, who had met long ago at the age of fourteen, just before I left to live in this shed and in the caves of the mountains. When I went there, Gaius (who was thirty at the time like me) told me everything that happened to Balinor, just as I told him all about how he had gotten into my hands.

Gaius knew something I didn't know, that was clear. You could see him perfectly in his expressions and in his eyes. And at that moment I told myself that I underestimated Balinor too much. Balinor wasn't a kid with normal magic and a little lunatic. No, there was something else about him that Gaius didn't tell me.

Gaius had helped me a lot earlier with my problems (problems I won't have here), but he never informed me of a clear thing. From the day I met Gaius (we were both about fourteen years old), I knew something weird was wrong with me. And since then, according to Gaius' advice, he had to sleep alone, away from every human or animal, in a separate place.

I've done that forever in my shed until Balinor arrived. With him I trusted myself and slept near him, not knowing what he was doing. But fortunately (or for more than luck, I think), nothing happened with him."
"Wait a minute... " interrupted Merlin, remembering one thing. "Remember the story you told me, about how death took everything he wanted, and the character in the story ended up alone at the end forever because he was cursed?"

"Yes, that story I..."

"The protagonist of the story is you! You are the cursed man!" cried Merlin, not being able to believe it. He had always thought that the character of the story resembled Telvar: alone, in caves, in forest huts, it did not appear at night... In fact, when he had joked after telling the story in the cave, he hadn't even thought it might be true.

"Merlin, keep your voice down... " replied Telvar whispering, but Merlin ignored.

"That's why you're never at night! That's why you're alone…!" saying this, Merlin knew that he had crossed the line and had talked too much

"MERLIN!" cried Telvar in a voice he had never seen in him. He had seen his powerful voices, in which he seemed to enlarge and the contours around him seemed to darken, but never anything compared to the voice that now seemed to take over Telvar's old body.

Merlin didn't know what to do. Now he understood what he said. How could he have been so stupid and naive? If it was true that the man in history was Telvar, he understood how lonely he should have felt and how badly he could have spent his whole life. And he would go and rub it in his face as if it was anything else of no importance. But this did matter. And yet Merlin didn't know what he had done.

Merlin could see in the candlelight of the ceiling lamp how Telvar weakened and could see a tear falling down his wrinkled skin. Without looking back, Telvar turned around and went up the stairs without saying anything else.

And so, it ended, with Merlin sitting in front of the table, crying silently until the sun dawned.

Sad ending of the chapter. A pity that more is not known about Balinor's past. The important thing here was to know what Telvar had to do with all this. And then the shocking thing has been that this man really was the man of the story.

What do you think about all this? Soon will come more action and more things from the present than the past. I'm planning also the ending and the continuation that I could write.

I hope you liked it. See you next time.

Next Chapter: Gwen's perspective. Who really this man is, Merlin?

LegolasHV