"Do you love me?"

Natsuhi didn't say anything at first when she heard Eva ask her that question. She didn't want to say anything. She knew her voice would crack and her chest would throb. It already was. It made her so angry.

Why was she asking such an infuriating question?

Natsuhi grit her teeth, her face wet with tears as she finally opened her eyes and answered her quietly, her voice dripping with contempt.

"...I hate you." The words left her mouth a bit too easily as she stared up into the other woman's eyes, her entire form a blur. There was a short pause before she shut her eyes again, the sound of her voice fading with each word. "I hate you so much…."

Eva remained silent for a moment before Natsuhi could only hear a very faint laugh.

"...Good."

She was smiling. Or at least Natsuhi was sure she was. She always was. Why would she do anything different? But the expression on Eva's face was one Natsuhi wouldn't see, even if she were to open her eyes.

"I hate you too."

Eva whispered that against Natsuhi's lips before closing the distance and kissing her softly.

Her hands let go of Natsuhi's wrists from where she had pinned them and gently took both sides of her face into them, slowly letting her tongue slide into Natsuhi's mouth to deepen the kiss.

Natsuhi furrowed her brow for a very brief moment before she just felt a few more tears start to fall down her face, Eva's hands catching them.

The kiss was slow and gentle. Natsuhi never even felt the need to catch her breath. Even when Eva pulled away, Natsuhi didn't need to gasp for air like she so often did.

Eva moved to kiss her cheek—longer than usual—before licking some of the moisture away, a habit she tended to always do.

Natsuhi waited for all the teasing remarks. The teasing touch. But they never came. Instead, Eva just kept her hands working at a decent pace.

It wasn't until her fingers were between Natsuhi's legs delving deep within her and she was whispering sweet nothings into her ear that Natsuhi finally began to moan, her voice quiet.

"You're beautiful…."

" m….aah… ."

It was a lie. It was just part of the moment.

"You're so beautiful…."

Her fingers slowly started to speed up, hitting that one spot repeatedly.

Natsuhi finally grabbed onto Eva's shoulders, her whimpering voice rising in volume to one of low moans and quiet whines-ones that often came out silent.

Eva always said and did things during their time like that together that she never would anywhere else. That was why Natsuhi knew to ignore them. She had to ignore them. They didn't mean anything.

They didn't. They didn't. They—

" ah…! a, ...mmm….."

"Does it feel good?"

Natsuhi threw her head away from her. The tone in her voice wasn't teasing at all. It was so soft and genuine, like she really wanted to know because she cared, not because she just wanted to embarrass her.

But Natsuhi still ignored her.

Eva brought her mouth back to rest upon her ear, her hot breath causing Natsuhi's grip on her shoulders to tighten once more.

And Eva said nothing else as she continued to move her fingers at that same pace, Natsuhi's breath slowly growing shorter.

It wasn't until Natsuhi's hips jumped, her voice coming out at a higher pitch, that Eva started talking again, her words calm and soft.

"Hey, Natsuhi." She used her other hand to grab Natsuhi's chin and turn her head to face her, her lips drawing close to hers. Her fingers began moving faster. "I love you." Natsuhi gasped hard as she felt the heat between her legs growing more and more so fast.

Eva moved closer to whisper against her lips once again, Natsuhi reaching once she closed the distance after.

"I love you so much…."

And that was why.

"Love" ?

She just said that as some kind of sick joke.

It was just a part of the moment.

She thought it was funny how she actually came as soon as she heard those words.

She just said that to make her feel stupid afterwards for actually showing her such a vulnerable side of her.

Why would Eva even say something like that right after she had said she hated her too?

That was why. That was why.

Natsuhi really did hate her so much.

A/N: This one's pretty old, from 2018, actually! Not taking the time to edit, so I'm leaving it as is. This one isn't too explicit, so I think it should be okay to post here. Was something a bit more on the sad side, and I wrote it back when I didn't really know what direction I wanted to take the main fic in. That's all I'll say for now.