The Planet Express employees finished their last delivery of the day, flocking to the base to discuss plans and finish earlier conversations that were placed on the back burner.
"You've been a part of the main unit of Planet Express for a couple of months now, yet you really haven't told us about yourself. Why's that?" asked Fry, who was in the midst of opening a bag of chips. While he, Leela, and Bender were chatty with Crow, they didn't know him well enough outside of work.
"I don't like being perceived by others." The interplanetary rodent said nonchalantly, taking a seat on the couch. He sat directly next to Bender, who was swirling the small amount of alcohol left in its glass bottle, disinterested in the conversation. At the same time, Fry's chip bag exploded, bits and pieces of fatty, crispy goodness falling onto the floor.
"Now that's just stupid!" Bender side-eyed Crow and rudely moved himself to the opposite side of the loveseat. "People are gonna look at you either way no matter where you are."
"Was there something wrong on your home planet?" The team captain wondered curiously.
"Nah."
"Did you commit war crimes and flee to avoid consequences?" The red-headed delivery boy queried intrusively.
"What the—hell no!" Crow's tone became frustrated.
"This guy's boring. Why did we even hire this washed-up rookie anyways?" Bender took a swig from his glass of malt liquor.
"Come on, Bender. Don't be a jerk. Crow's a cool guy!" Fry attempted to lighten up the mood.
"You don't have to cover for me, Fry. I can speak for myself."
"I'm not covering for you. Plus, Farnsworth needed an extra hand with cargo and inventory on the ship and that's why he hired you."
"Probably found him on the street..." Bender grumbled.
"If you all desperately want to know why I moved to New New York, it's because it's so vast and large. Nobody really knows who you are, and I'm comfortable with that sense of anonymity." The newest workman explained, ignoring Bender's judgment.
"Leaving your home for a clean slate, huh? I get it." Leela commented. Fry crouched on the floor, dejectedly picking up food scraps with his right hand to throw into the garbage can.
"My planet, on the other hand, was very tight-knit. It wasn't a bad thing by any chance, but it's really uncomfortable when almost every person there knows your name. I felt like I had no privacy."
"God, it's like Cheers, but in hell!" Fry gasped.
"I guess so." Crow laughed. "I just wanted a change, is all. I actually was born in New New York, but my parents moved back to our home planet when I was a couple of years old."
"Oh my God, can you stop beating around the bush and tell us where you're from, fur bag?" Bender hollered impatiently. Instead of taking offense to the robot's fresh remark, his lips curled up as he contained his laughter.
"Since your hollering has reignited my fit of tinnitus, why don't you sit closer to me so I can tell you about it? I can't hear your complaints any other way."
"Fine." He propped himself up and sat directly next to his co-worker, still aggravated.
"I'm from the planet Lemmingland, around two light-years from here."
"Seriously? I heard the scenery is beautiful out there!" Leela exclaimed. "Their most durable weapons were crafted by a single blacksmith and are very hard to come by on other planets."
"That's right! It's really cool. I have a sword from Lemmingland preserved in a glass cave hanging up on the wall in my apartment." His eyes darted to Bender, whose mischievous hand reached for the zipper on his fanny pack. "Don't get any ideas, buddy."
Flustered, Bender crossed his arms. "I only wanted one of your strawberry candies!" He said, feigning despondency. He finished the last bit of liquor in the bottle and chucked it onto the floor.
"However, Lemmingland is far from perfect. It had a corrupt monarchy who was massacring its people by tampering their food with the seeds of a poisonous plant. The original blacksmith—Dahlia—died because she refused to make weapons for the royal army. Her reason? She wanted to take care of her son." Leela and Fry stared at the lemming, their interest in the retelling piqued.
"This actually happened a couple of years ago. The person who found out about the crimes against humanity was actually Dahlia's son, Lomax. He's considered a hero and is the reason why the monarchy was completely dismantled! The sword I own was made by Dahlia and was given to me as a college graduation gift by my parents, who now," Crow stopped talking to get out a guffaw. "currently reside in New Jersey." Bender broke into hysterics alongside the storyteller. Simply mentioning "New Jersey," or any city or town in the state was an inside joke between the newbie and experienced laborer.
"Thanks for the history lesson, Einstein. You come from a planet of giant furry rodents." Rolling his eyes insolently, the robot's attitude shifted drastically. "Big deal."
"And you tried to steal my room keys to get the sword." Crow talked back smugly. There was a moment of silence as Bender clutched his hands in frustration.
"This rat bastard's been schooling me since he got here!" The robot pouted, pointing directly at the green-haired employee.
"You know, Bender. It's a damn good thing we have someone as snarky as you to keep you in check." Leela remarked, giving a sympathetic pat on Crow's shoulder. "Thank you for sharing a little bit about yourself with us, by the way. It was very interesting!" She smiled appreciatively, her response and attitude being a polar opposite to Bender.
Crow mouthed a "sorry" to Bender, who was on a garbled, irate tirade. Accepting that he wasn't going to get the drama queen back to his senses through words, he brushed his hand against the robot's back. The smooth, cold yet alleviating metal sent a chill down his spine. His palm still on Bender, he was immediately startled by the worker making eye contact with him, visibly soothed. Alarmed, he quickly yanked his hand off of Bender and began to perspire. "Eheheh." Crow greeted in a dry voice, a small, toothy grin on his face.
"'Sup?" Bender replied as if nothing happened. The two were still staring at one another in a quizzical stupor. Neither of them could read each other's minds, but all they could think of was their golden rule when it came to causing problems: Do not tell anyone.
"You're supposed to be a lemming?" The red-head squinted and scratched his head, having completely ignored the story about the sword, the brief history of Lemmingland, and Bender's tantrum. "You look like the ones from that old computer game from the 20th century."
"Oh, yeah. Some European game developers took inspiration from my people. So much so we filed a lawsuit against them and won!" Crow chuckled.
"Wow. No wonder why you only find rip-off versions of that game…" he munched on the scraps of chips left in the popped bag.
"Oh, hey! I know that planet!" Bender chimed in, lighting up a cigar. "It's the one where every couple of years they jump off cliffs!"
"Aside from that claim originating from a bullcrap documentary, I haven't jumped off a cliff, have I? " Crow pursed his lips, mildly offended.
The machine exchanged a dirty look to Crow with half-lidded optics, blowing cigar smoke into the air in a streamlined cloud. "I'd like to see you try, fleabag."
"No thanks, I'm good." The lemming declined, placing his hands behind his back, sinking deeper into the chair.
His smoke between his index and middle finger, he instantaneously got up from the couch and stood in front of Crow. Counting his antenna, he towered over the five-foot critter, unfazed by his pathetic attempt at intimidation. "I just have to do everything myself around here, huh?"
Crow blinked, confused as to what prompted Bender's response. Without saying another word, he walked out of the Planet Express building, arms akimbo.
"Where's he going?" Crow frantically inquired, immediately turning to Fry. All the man gave in return was a lazy shrug.
"Bender and I may be friends, but I don't control where he goes. Sorry, Crow. You're on your own." An irritated sigh exited the creature's nostrils. Times like these made him wish Fry took things more seriously.
Darting to the exit, he followed the robot in hot pursuit. "I'll be right back!" With the sliding doors sealed shut, Leela and Fry looked at one another, baffled.
"I dunno what he's doing, but I think this is the first time one of us has gone after Bender when he throws one of his tantrums. He forgot his phone, too." Fry pointed to the smartphone planted atop the couch cushion.
Unbothered, Leela changed the subject. "Next time we have the day off, we're taking Crow out for drinks. Have any ideas?"